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female
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anonymous
writes: hi im the one who thinks my boyfriend is ashamed of our relationship . i forgot to tell you about his mum decorating their house . when she decorated their house i thought when it was finished she wudnt hang up his wedding picture again but she did . they have been divorced for 8 years . this hurt me very much cos recently i got a lovely picture of us enlarged and framed he keeps it hid under his bed he dosent understand why i made such a big deal about it and said its not his house and he has no rite to go hangin up takin down pictures. he is 43 and lives with his mum who i have met and get along well with i also have met his kids and get along well with them too he has met my kids loads of times and does try but prefers to call when they are in bed.i wud love to have a future with this guy and i suppose i think that one day he'll accept me and my kids as a package if he gets to know them better . PLEASE HELP and ADVISE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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female
reader, pica +, writes (27 October 2006):
Just a thought .. he has kids, they are her grandkids. Perhaps she was/is close to the kids' mum. Perhaps she never took it down because of the kids. If it's been there all this time, it's not about you. Maybe she didn't approve of the break-up. Maybe it reminds her of happier times. Who knows? It's her house though and her picture. He's the one hiding you under the bed. You don't need to compete with a photo - he's with you. I'd be more concerned that you think he's avoiding becoming a family unit with you & your kids. Have you sat him down and talked about your expectations of this relationship? Maybe start with that and see what he says.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hello Anon,
The mother probably just likes the picture of her son. My grandmother has an old picture of my aunt hanging in her house. It's of her wedding, as well. Except she was divorced from that man over 15 years ago. Since then, she has even remarried. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. If you two are married one day, then you could give the picture to his mom yourself, since you'd all be family. She might keep the other one up, because it's of her son, but I'm sure she would put the one of you two up, as well.
Try not to think about it so much. I'm sure that she doesn't mean any harm. And as for your boyfriend, letting his mom keep an old picture of him up in her home isn't as big of a deal as you might think. He probably just wants her to be happy and doesn't want to make a big deal out of what he thinks is nothing.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Well first things first lets listen to this sentence... He's 43 and lives with his mom. WHY? 1. He needs to move out of their. 2. He needs to ask her to take those pictures down. A wedding is an important event, its her right to keep it around but keeping it on display is ridiculous especially if he's been divorced 8 years! Don't conforont his mom, but definitely tell him he needs to take it down.. if he can't stand up to his own mom about something as small as a picture than you've probably got a lot more issues up ahead.
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