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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and i have been on for about a month now. He is very kind, spiritual and pure. But that is the problem really. He expects me to imitate him and has strict standard that i really dont think i can keep up with.I really didnt know he had such high standard.For example he wants me to start attending a more spiritual church and leave my catholic faith. He also wants me to listen to purely christian music and films.He went to the cinema for the first time after he joined his faith with me just to please me.Now what do i do? i really do love him because he is such a gentleman and despite the fact that i have refused to do as he says, he is patient and thinks with time getting close to him will make me understand more on his faith.Should i move on even i truly adore him. Thanks
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female
reader, Cool Cucumber  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 If he wanted to go out with a fellow christian and he was truly passionate about his beleifs then surely he would have made sure he was with someone of the same beleifs etc. The fact that he is with you suggests that while he may have strong beleifs he sounds controlling and is pushing his ideas and beleifs onto you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): Thanks everyone for the advise. im skeptic about the whole thing and will take your different opinions into account and reach a decision.
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (27 October 2006):
Sorry, I can't help but think that he needs to love you as you are, not as you will be once you've improved yourself to be of his faith. Going to the cinema to please you isn't bartering - sounds like he wouldn't have gone if his faith didn't allow it.
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A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 It been only a month and he wants to convert you? Ack! I live by a simple rule in the first 3 months if there is a big issue that already arises in the relationship...it probably won't work out.
You have to consider your own faith and what it means to you. If faith isnt a big issue converting may not be a problem however being with someone who is very religous can be trying. Personally if he can't accept you and your faith and you've only been dating a month, I say lay down strict standards to him denoting that he has no right to change you or leave him. Also consider if you see yourself with this guy in the future, or if you are just having some fun... Religion is a difficult issue especially if someone is borderline fanatical... just try and have fun, and show him that other religions aren't so bad.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hi Anon,
Honestly I don't think it's right that he's trying to change you. In my opinion, you need to let him know that while you appreciate that he is passionate about his relgion, he really should respect you the same way you respect him and therefore, should back off with this subject.
Besides, if he really likes you for you, then it shouldn't even matter if you were an athiest. If he keeps trying to convert you, then I suggest finding someone who you are more compatable with. You don't want to be told what to beleive and what to do the rest of your life, right? That's no way to live.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Faith to some people is very important and in some relationship situations with different faiths one has to give up theirs for the relationship.
Is your faith important to you?
It's only been a month, far too early to be making life changes like this for someone that you may not be with in another months time.
Just continue enjoying the relationship and make him understand that he can't expect this from you so soon into the relationship at least.
Good luck :o)
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