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My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I was totally appalled. I immediately told him to delete the picture and watched him do so.

I told him never to do that again without my consent. I told him he has a camera problem or fetish, which he does. Once before he snapped a picture of me in the shower and has tried to on other occasions. I have told him each time to delete the pictures. It's been a long time since he has done any picture taking, until recently with this incident.

I thought he might be revving up on starting to take pictures because he came home from work a week ago and he had taken pictures of a female employee, only from the side of her, with her bending over weeding the office garden outside. He is her boss and he had mentioned why don't you weed the office garden, so she did! he told me, so he went outside and took pictures of her, but she waved him away he told me. That should have been a tip off to me. She is totally unaware of his camera problem of course, but it was unnerving to me, because I am aware of it and I immediately thought he was taking those pictures of her for his own personal spank material.

I am so weirded out by this and find it unsettling.

I realize guys can have fetishes. He said he wanted to capture my beautiful body, that is it is the most beautiful body he has ever seen. To me he is just feeding me a line there to get away with what he is doing.

Oh, and I just realized he had the camera hidden in the bed, because I rolled over and I felt the coldness of it, so he probably was going to secretly take pictures of me without me knowing. wth?

Has anyone else experienced this and what would you do?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 July 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntThis dude is bent on destruction.Besides being stupid he's probably dangerous(either now or in the future) His obsesion is beyond discussion. I'd suggest you leave before he outwits you and you end up on the internet so he can replay his conquest. Good Luck...you may need it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 July 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Tisha.

This is beyond creepy, it's also VERY disrespectful. Personally I'd go through all his devices that can store pictures to see if he has a "hidden cache" of nudes of ME and then delete them all.

After that, I would actually end the engagement. THIS is not OK.

IT IS OK that he thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world. IT IS OK that he wants pictures, BUT NOT WITHOUT consent.

Creeper!

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (31 July 2014):

Dionee' agony auntThis is so weird. Reading through all of the info you gave us, it really is a serious problem and I don't think (if I were you) that I'd want to be with someone like that. Taking pictures of you without your consent and then his boss!? My gosh I'd never. It's so creepy. He actually had a camera in the bed? That's ridiculous. I think you should figure out whether this is a deal breaker for YOU and decide what to do from there. If you're ok with having pictures of your body and lady bits taken without your consent possibly forever then go a head and be with him but if not, talk it through or leave once and for all without looking back. Good Luck OP.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (30 July 2014):

mystiquek agony auntI don't blame you for being creeped out. Your story has "Ewww" written all over it. Try to make sure he doesn't have any photos of you lying around or hidden in files, ect. He could have easily been taking photos of you while you were sleeping....YUK! And of course if he does have photos hidden, he'll lie about it..sorry to say. I think Tisha has a very good point about bringing it to the attention of the authorities..Your fiance is a creep. Show him the door.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 July 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI've never experienced anything like this and I would break up with him as soon as I could, but not before I ensured no unwanted images of me remained in his files.

This guy is a creep and is violating your trust and privacy. Get rid of him ASAP. Run, do not walk.

Ask a computer expert for help in ensuring there are no images of you remaining on form of storage he may have.

I might even suggest stopping in the police station to have a chat with the nice people there, or consult an attorney to ensure he understands abundantly clearly that what you do not consent to this 'fetish,' as you call it. I call it criminal, but hey, that's just me.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (30 July 2014):

llifton agony auntOh wow. At first, I thought you might be overreacting, as I thought maybe he just wanted to capture a pic when he thought you were particularly looking hot. I've done this before. Just watching my partner change, I've asked if I could snap a pic or two. I've only done it maybe twice total. But it was because my partner just looked so good in that exact moment, that I wanted to savor it. But once you began mentioning the employee of his that he was taking pictures of? Totally creepy and absolutely perverted. You, especially as a boss, do NOT go out and snap pics of an employee without their consent. That's NOT okay. And not normal.

He's got a real problem. Here I was just thinking he thought you were beautiful and only wanted a picture. But what he really wants is to objectify any woman he can snag a stalker picture of. that's sick. To the point of hiding a camera in the bed? Oh God. If he wants some sexy pictures of you, he can ask and get your consent first. But to sneak pictures without your knowledge? Never acceptable. Total invasion of privacy.

I would see this as a serious flaw and something I would consider a deal-breaker. The guy is a perv. I wouldn't put up with this for one more second.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014):

I would break off the engagement. It sounds like he is a cheater and weird due to those photos of the other woman. Taking pictures of you without permission is no good.

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