A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts and uncles! I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 months (I've known him for a year)....we see each other at weekends and sometimes through the week if we both have time off work...Things are going great and he makes me so happy, we share a lot of the same interests and its so nice to have someone in my life that I can relate to about different things....I'm just a little, frustrated shall we say, regarding our sex life....he has a foot fetish, which I found weird at first, but having done a little research on it, I realize it is a common fetish and have gotten into it with him....the problem is, we can only have sex in the missionary position...he has to kiss and lick my feet and then enter me straight away, otherwise he loses his erection. I'm upset at this because it feels like he doesn't fancy me enough to maintain an erection, even though he says he does and he's had this problem with his ex girlfriends in the past. How can I help him maintain an erection? Everything else in our relationship is perfect but I'm starting to get bored of the same old sex routine!
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erection, ex girlfriend, his ex, long distance, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 August 2014):
 Investigate(try using) a cock ring...once erect it stays erect for quite some time. Good Luck
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (4 August 2014):
 Sometimes men need a little encouragement, they need a little bit of direction, and if that means you have to take the lead for a while in order to start having more enjoyable sex then I guess you are going to have to do it. I am sure he finds you attractive, sexy and all the other bits inbetween, but like he has said, with ex-girlfriends in the past he has lost an erection when they have done sex differently. Which suggest that maybe he hasn't really...well..broadened his sexual horizon. I am sure there are a lot more things which would turn him on, but he simply hasn't tried them, and because of that the only way he gets turned on is by going back to the same old routine. As he has a foot fetish, you need to start finding ways to incorporate what he likes, but at the same time incorporate what you like. Maybe let him give you a foot message, wait until his little buddy starts working and just take the lead, get on top, and do your own thing. If he does start going soft, then start enticing him more, get up and flaunt your feet and other parts of your body, tease him, get him so enticed that when he starts he won't want to stop, keep changing your routine keep doing different things to show him that there is a whole world of sex out there. And with time, things will get easier, he will start doing things you like automatically, but you have to remember unless you start changing things, he will be going away doing the same old thing thinking he is doing it perfectly because you haven't said anything about it. Try and be in control, guide him and show him that sex doesn't have to be the same. However if he does refuse to try anything, then you do need to sit down and tell him you are finding the sex boring, if he still is not willing to even try anything you like, it suggests he may be being selfish and is only interested in pleasing himself. Which says a lot about a person, so you may have to sit down and either take the bad with the good, or just take neither and try and find someone who can please you both emotionally and physically. Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 August 2014):
 That's not the foot fetish's fault. I've dated a guy with a foot fetish in the past, and your guy's problem is that he won't reboot his sex drive in order to be adventurous.
The real question is - is he willing to try new things? Is it that he loses his erection, or is he unwilling to try new things because he's too used to what works for him? If he's not willing to learn new positions, back off of masturbating or porn to stoke up the performance of his member, then that's being selfish. There are many men who don't have foot fetishes who are only willing to have sex a certain way because they're too used to certain things. I'm guessing your guy can get himself off without someone else being there, so it's in his brain.
Getting sex manuals, watching videos on technique (no, I'm NOT talking about porn, which should never be used as instruction!), and improving skills is something every couple must do to keep their sex life happy.
As for him not fancying you enough...it isn't that. It's that he's too used to things a certain way and isn't willing to put the time and energy into trying different things.
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