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His porn preference is for larger women, I am slim, should I worry?

Tagged as: Pornography, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2014) 9 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is into big girls who are pretty, but I am slim - he does love me and find me sexy but it makes me insecure. I know he is into lots of types of girls, but his porn preference is BBW. Do I need to worry? He wants to marry me and buy a house and have kids,, but will he be happy forever if he has this sexual preference for big girls?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 August 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntIf porn was real, then maybe he really hankers for large women but since it is totally a fantasy, I suspect he's just curious to see how "the other half" lives or does cool things to one another. Don't worry, he's just turning pages in the fantasy book. Be happy you're slim and well loved. He's not going to run off with Miss Piggy.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 August 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntCiaras it right on! porn is fantasy and has nothing to do with reality. Instant turn ons don't represent long lasting turnons

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (4 August 2014):

Ciar agony auntThere is a big difference between romantic attraction and being horny.

Porn satisfies his horny hunger. In the real world he wants you. If he wanted a larger woman he could easily have found one.

There is nothing unusual about this at all, OP. I think you can relax.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014):

The question is, why are you his girlfriend if you weren't his preference? Don't you think he could have found himself a large woman if he wanted one?

Mental-imagery and sexual-arousal from video entertainment is not a true depiction of what men "prefer." It's just a selection in visual entertainment and fantasy.

There is no cure for "porn-envy." It afflicts the spouses and partners of people who like porn. So people who do, use with caution! It might cause mild hysteria in your mate!

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2014):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntI don't think you need to worry. Porn isn't real, just because someone has a particular preference in porn doesn't mean that is what they want in reality.

Even if someone has a preference for what they go for in relationships, doesn't mean they wouldn't go for anything else. For example I like black men, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with a white man.

I don't think anyone has "set" preferences, so you shouldn't worry, if he says he loves you for you, then I wouldn't doubt him. Good Luck x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntPorn is not reality. And what a person watches (as far as porn) doesn't mean THAT is all they get turned on by. Doesn't mean he wants YOU to get fat (or big) or that he is only turned on by big girls.

Some people like "ethnic" porn, but don't WANT to date/marry someone of that ethnicity, but they LIKE to watch how that specific rac is portrayed.

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A female reader, PrincessRiches United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2014):

PrincessRiches agony auntHi hun! I've had a similar issue myself! I am a slim size 2 and, when I was looking on FB at my boyfriends exes (we've all done it!) lol they all had one thing in common: They were all huge! They were still beautiful in their own way (not insulting any overweight people) but they were just, well, the complete opposite of me. One day, I asked him why all his exes were obese, and he said he happened to like big women, and then backtracked when I said well then why did I take your fancy then.

I think men dont really care THAT much about shapes and sizes, they just like women in general. Porn is usually just harmless fantasy for most men. Most men who are married to average looking women have a porn preference of a Pamela Anderson type pin up girl, who looks entirely different than their partner. But this doesn't mean they're any less attracted to their partner-it just means they like to indulge in a little fantasy now and again. You're situation is the same, just that he has a different preference.

Unless he starts watching porn on an excessive level, or starts comparing you to these women or suggests that he wants you to look like these large women, I wouldn't worry too much. Remember, he must have liked the way you looked when he chose YOU to be his gf, and wants all this with YOU.

You also need to ask yourself if you are even OK with him watching porn at all, as lot's of people wouldn't like this. If not, then you need to tell him it makes you uncomfortable and that you feel you should be enough in yourself to satisfy his needs in your relationship. It might be a good idea to get this out in the open with him before you commit to buying a house/kids/marriage with him. Hope it works out for you!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014):

I don't think it's a big deal. Just because he has a type that je likes to watch, doesn't mean he doesn't like slim women. He may not watch them because he has you.

I think my type is curvy and just a little overweight. I had a beautiful gf with a body like that but for some reason I would check out thin girls a lot.

Now I'm married to a thin woman and check out thick women a lot. I guess I just like a variety and he could be the same.

Besides you'll put on a few pounds after having kids and now you know he'll be into it.

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A female reader, YoungButNotNaive South Africa +, writes (4 August 2014):

YoungButNotNaive agony auntPorn preference usually has nothing to do with real life. He may like the look of big women, but big women will be more likely to have health problems. If not when they're young, then later in life. Since he obviously wants a long term relationship if he's talking marriage and kids, he wants someone who is more likely to maintain her health. This is the subconscious reason for preferring someone with a slim figure over someone who is overweight.

Some people do only want overweight partners, yes. Just as some people only want fit partners. However, your boyfriend is obviously capable of finding any size of woman attractive. He wouldn't spend his life with someone he isn't attracted to, so I wouldn't worry.

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