How can this continue with me losing my sanity? I have a wife and a girlfriend who are both amazing.
Q. I've been having an affair with a much younger, beautiful and sexy woman for over three years. I am in a fairly good marriage and we've been married for 22 years. My wife and I are on the same wave length. We've been through a lot together and are...
A. 16 June 2016: Firstly, lets get something straight. You are not showing love for either of these women. You are not being true to them or honest with them...especially your wife. Your behaviour is appalling towards her. Three years of deception? Purposefully ... (read in full...)
Cancelled dates comfusing me
Q. I really like someone for the first time in a few months and I'm trying to show I'm available without been too desperate but I just end up feeling more rejected at the moment. She has been having a hard time lately and has to go through a court case ...
A. 12 June 2016: Well, it really depends what you are wanting to achieve. You likely need to pull back and get on with other aspects of life, and pop her a text saying gosh you have a lot on your plate! No worries. Let me know if you want to rearrange, here if you ... (read in full...)
What were his true intentions? Did I do something wrong? Should I try to contact him again?
Q. I met a guy online who seemed pretty nice. He was very handsome, polite, and a complete gentleman. I didn't want to seem desperate so I would wait for him to contact me first, plus I was taught that if a man is interested, he should make the firs...
A. 10 June 2016: No way should you contact him. He isn't interested and clearly his expectation was you should give it up, so as that isn't what you wanted to do- good for you for ensuring you didn't! He looked like am idiot while you retained your dignity int... (read in full...)
When I asked for what I need and in response he broke up with me. How do I get over this?
Q. My bf broke with me unexpectedly Last week we were texting and after a couple of months of being in a relationship and me doing everything he wants The second I asked for some one on one time he had the epiphany that we don't see things eye t...
A. 10 June 2016: Hi.I think this is your third posting of the same problem? So, I'm thinking your are stuck... And I'm feeling a change in perspective is needed. At the moment, you are early in the break up. From what you've described this man didn't invest... (read in full...)
Is the guy married or not? I think yes...
Q. My sister fell for a guy who turns out to be married and wanted nothing to do with him. He wore a wedding ring, posted photos of him and his wife on FB until a month and a half ago, which is when he really started to woo her. He lives in ano...
A. 10 June 2016: So basically he is texting her at times in the evening, with the content being compliments etc. Is that right?
When is she seeing him? Is he taking her out? She's on his fb? Is his wife too? Is she commenting on his posts? She knows he can excl... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but what of the presents she gave me?
Q. If you are seeing some one for let's say four months, an you don't feel the same way, so you decide to break up with them, an the night before you do this they give you a few presents, do you keep the presents or give them back, an tell them it's ...
A. 9 June 2016: I wonder why you are asking this...
Is it because you want the gifts and are hoping aunts will say sure, keep them, or is it because you don't want her hurt to break up and give them back?
The former wont lead to any different advice then you've r... (read in full...)
Have I ruined things by telling this girl that I'm autistic? And inviting her to have coffee? Things are now awkward between us
Q. I told a girl at work who I'm friends with. That I'm autistic and that I sometimes find it difficult to communicate people with people and to read people for example. Before I did a very stupid and foolish thing by asking if she wanted to meet for...
A. 7 June 2016: Thank you for clarifying. I think followtheblackrabbit has terrific advise on this one. Autism/aspergers etc is a fairly common diagnoses these days, I know a lot of young people who have such diagnoses' and to me and lots of others its no big deal ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined things by telling this girl that I'm autistic? And inviting her to have coffee? Things are now awkward between us
Q. I told a girl at work who I'm friends with. That I'm autistic and that I sometimes find it difficult to communicate people with people and to read people for example. Before I did a very stupid and foolish thing by asking if she wanted to meet for...
A. 6 June 2016: Hello. This is a tricky question to answer, because I am not clear from the information you have given as to how things now seem awkward to you. Can you give a bit more information about that? Is she talking less to you, does she seem to be getti... (read in full...)
Do I back off? He used to always initiate conversations and texting, but since I started initiating he has stopped doing so.
Q. I posted about him earlier but would appreciate further advice. I've been seeing someone for two months. He comes off as the confident type but shy around me. We agreed to take things slowly (physically as well) for the both of us but more so f...
A. 5 June 2016: Hi. I am unsure of the reasons he now isn't initiating at all... However, I think if its been several days and you care about this guy, and neither of you have contacted since his trip commenced beyond him saying he's there, it's not clingy to text ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend lie to me about spending time with his son? What's going on here?
Q. My boyfriend's son is over on a visit. He has been here for a week. He lives in the Florida and we are in Canada. Now, I am having some trouble figuring something out. Can everyone help me? Before I go insane? My boyfriend was supposed to sp...
A. 2 June 2016: My guess is that this is how you think a lot of the time.... If you express it to your boyfriend in this manner, your relationship is in trouble, because no one can sustain a loving bond with this thinking between them... unless you have evidence- ... (read in full...)
I'm into him, and he knows it. Can you help me try to understand his actions?
Q. Hi. I'm confused about this guy's behavior and need help. I'm into him and he knows it. Earlier I used to start a conversation assuming he's shy and introvert but I got sick and tired and stopped texting him. I got his text after 10 days!! He rep...
A. 2 June 2016: He's wasting your time. Likely enjoys the attention if nothing else is kicking around. I've found this myself between guys. Good for the ego but meaningless pretty much. It's more than that to you, so look for someone else- he's not that into you, ... (read in full...)
What should I do? He lied to me. I feel so bad, knowing that his Gf is probably not going to find out
Q. I had a one night stand the other night with a guy who I have met a few times before. When I saw him recently he tried it on with me in a bar but I turned him down because I knew he had a girlfriend. He then told me that he was on a break with ...
A. 1 June 2016: Honeypie is spot on right....thats all the reading you need on this one.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated and I have all the proof but he keeps denying it
Q. This is probably a no brainer but I'm asking anyway, found out my boyfriend has been texting and chatting with his ex, I confronted him and he promised to stop because he didn't want to lose me the problem is he hasn't I checked his phone and have ...
A. 1 June 2016: It is always sad to find out you have invested your time and love into a cheating Moron. I'm really sorry this has happened to you.
It's your call as to what will give you the most satisfaction and hello with your healing.
Either send the proof, o... (read in full...)
Did he return these insignificant things of mine because he is asking for whatever I might have of his back?
Q. I just received a box in the mail from my ex (we broke up almost four months ago now), with some of my things in it. I didn't even know I'd left these things at his place, it's basically junk (a decorative christmas pine cone and a string of chris...
A. 1 June 2016: Well now, You would know best what this might be about. Odd nonsense to return...especially the book, which YOU bought HIM.
It could be a reach to you- sentimental returning the book, so you remember the vacation where you had a good time etc... (read in full...)
My words initiated the break-up. But he broke up as if I never meant anything to him. How can I get over this?
Q. Hi, I am very unhappy i need advice I have been dating this man for ten months now and he has a habit of ignoring my calls and texts even for days so we have been urguing about it he says he is busy but he will go even for a week unless i contact ...
A. 31 May 2016: Hell.... What a piece of crap. This man has no morals- he has done this to you and his wife.... Be thankful you aren't the wife! She will know nothing...despicable man. You now need to work on yourself and your healing.... It hurts so much now, your ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable with my brothers wife attracted to my husband
Q. My SIL is a attention seeker she always acts different around my past bfs and now especially towards my husband I can feel she's always trying to get his attention, get close to him and whatever my husband says she supports it or makes comments on ...
A. 31 May 2016: The big problem that you have here is the two men- your husband and your brother... She loves make attention, and while your husband isn't prepared to be loyal to you and be dismissive of her, she's going to carry on. Your brother wont pull her... (read in full...)
My words initiated the break-up. But he broke up as if I never meant anything to him. How can I get over this?
Q. Hi, I am very unhappy i need advice I have been dating this man for ten months now and he has a habit of ignoring my calls and texts even for days so we have been urguing about it he says he is busy but he will go even for a week unless i contact ...
A. 31 May 2016: Ah I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds like you tried hard and centered your world around him - obsessing, watching your phone to see if he contacts etc with him doing his own thing, with a part of his life being you but not a prioritised part. ... (read in full...)
Fantasizing about my husband's best friend
Q. My husband is a fair amount older than me and has a lower sex drive. On top of this I am also sexually attracted to multiple people at the same time. My husband's best friend is single and has been on a dry spell for about 5 years and is very ...
A. 28 May 2016: Hi. There's a lot of this type of question at the mo! Summer is approaching maybe? People in unsatisfactory relationships...i don't know. How long have you been with him? How much older is he? You going to start with him and have a life time of ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend this secret about her boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunt Advice needed!! I was catching up with an old high school friend, we were very close but we lost contact now in college were close again. We decided to go have a girls night, during the dinner she asked about my best friend and vice ...
A. 28 May 2016: I would tell my friend. This is your best friend. It is your business. If he is doing it with her and pretending he's single he is looking elsewhere too... And maybe carrying on already else where. If you have seen the proof with your own eyes, tell ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's dirty laundry a sign of him cheating?
Q. This morning i put on a wash and noticed a medium amount of white stain in my fiances underwear at the top of the pile. Excluding masturbation (as i was around him most of the day), can anyone tell me what this is? He did have a shower before he ...
A. 28 May 2016: What makes you think he hasn't masturbated? Or gotten excited at something and had an erection?
I'd there any other clue's that would make you think he is cheating?... (read in full...)
My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...
A. 27 May 2016: Honestly? Your husband is open minded? You've had sex with other men already and he's been fine with it then? Thought not.
What in earth makes you think this guy who is still a virgin would even be up for this? And as the other aunts have said, I ... (read in full...)
Is it time to say 'NO,' (with no guilt), to E and mean it? Do children have to attend parties put on by overbearing parents?
Q. There is this lady "E" who is driving me nuts! Her kids (boy and girl twins with the SAME gender neutral name,let's say J Lee and J Leigh) are turning 10 next month and she drove to our house to drop off an invitation and itinerary. Yes. An itine...
A. 21 May 2016: Crumbs... She is highly strung and totally oblivious to the effect she is having on her children and how she os viewed....do you think she is autistic at all? She maybe...
Honesty has to be the only way forward. No lies, excuses- if she is this ... (read in full...)
How can I stop? My fiance is going to leave me if I don't stop this behavior.
Q. I am getting married in four months time, and my problem is this: basically I have been constantly obsessing over my partner's past, and all the things that he did wrong at the start of our relationship. I know it is irrational but cannot stop, and ...
A. 21 May 2016: Hi. You absolutely are have some mental issues, along the lines of OCD. The obsession is the intrusive thoughts, the compulsion is to verbalise them to gain reassurance, this reduces your anxiety... Momentarily. There could even be done retro-active ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react to his initial rejection ?
Q. Hi! So my husband and I went to different cities post marriage because of work and met recently after a gap of six long months. In order to spice things up I dressed up in a nice lingerie and surprised him. In his response he kissed me, then pus...
A. 15 May 2016: Well now. There could be several reasons for this. Six months! That's a long time.... May be he felt nervous, anxious, was taken by surprise... You had time to plan and get excited about your plan while after six months he maybe found it too much ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? Is this girl trying to cause trouble?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I are both in our 30's. We have been together a few years. There is one particular woman I have been having an issue with for a couple of years. I don't know their relationship, I suspect he cheated on me with her though he ...
A. 11 May 2016: I don't believe you are over reacting at all. If indeed this is what is occurring, and she is purposefully tagging him to wind you up why is he mot telling her where to get off? I think you may have the answer...what does she have on him that hes ... (read in full...)
I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!
Q. I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...
A. 9 May 2016: I am really happy for you. Please ensure you share contact your ex tries to have with your new love, to present a united front, and tell her to jog on! She just wants what she cant have....you were heartbroken - she is having a dose of karma ... (read in full...)
Should I risk things by finding out if a co-worker feels the same ?
Q. I am a professional woman in my early 30's. I have been with my partner for 7 years, and there have been a lot of ups and downs. While we have a deep and intense passion for each other, as well as a profound love, there has also been a lot of ...
A. 7 May 2016: In my opinion, you should firstly decide if you want to end you relationship. To me, it sounds like you want to try something out with this other guy if you have the opportunity, and won't risk humiliation, whilst still with your current partner ... (read in full...)
My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!
Q. At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...
A. 7 May 2016: Are you being unreasonable ? Absolutely not! What is wrong with the man that he cant see how insensitive this is!
Even if he genuinely has no sentiment to the ring, even if in his head he truly doesn't see it as an issue- he,has to respect ... (read in full...)
Why would my therapists become cold and distant towards me?
Q. I've been in therapy for a 1 1/2. I've had a psychologist and a family therapist who I've grown close to which has given me strength to get to where I am now. However, I've had to be passed onto a psychotherapist because I was having problems...
A. 1 May 2016: Hello. I would like to offer some advise to you, that I am hoping will help you understand and feel better. Please know that how you are left feeling right now isn't how any transition or individual therapist would ever want you to feel, but oft... (read in full...)
He’s been chatting with women online and now has booked a solo trip to a country where one lives! I need opinions on this!
Q. Hello everyone, Me and hubby have been together 7yrs and married for 3. We have a 4 yr old daughter..He has been talking to women who he has friended from social media. He doesn't know any of them. But to some he will start talking in a way...
A. 26 April 2016: This is no different to him online dating behind your back... Do you not see this? He sounds manipulative, and able to condition you to a point where you question yourself as to weather you are over reacting.
You aren't. His behaviour is dece... (read in full...)
Is online dating just not worth it? I know not all men are pigs but I sure keep drawing them!
Q. Is online dating just not worth it? I tried it many years ago but with a friend, thinking we could double date, keep it safe etc. We were not planning on nearly every man pushing for three ways and insisting on "at least" making out with each other ...
A. 24 April 2016: Oh my! You've had some awful experiences there! I think a month is too long to meet up personally... If for no other reason than if there is no click on meeting it's a waste of a huge chunk of time! You perhaps need to consider what it is you want... (read in full...)
I met a man I've been talking to online and he hasn't responded to my thank you message, what did I do wrong?
Q. Hi , First Thanks for always been helpful. I am very confuse about situation. I talked online with a guy for almost two weeks. finally , I met him yesterday.we met for coffee around 5.30. we had long conversation. he was talking continue. I felt...
A. 24 April 2016: Hi. Sounds to me like he just didn't feel it lovely! You don't have to do anything wrong for that to happen...just does! I've been on dates this year where we chat online fine, then we meet...nothing cooking! It just is what it is...i have to say I ... (read in full...)
My partner or my daughter? I feel so very upset about what has happened. What should I do?
Q. I have lived with my partner for around 5 years. My daughter (now 24) lived with me....(or between my ex husband and her b/f's parents) She never paid any board money and rarely did any housework. (but that's my fault for letting her). We often ...
A. 21 April 2016: Hi. I am concerned for the physical symptoms you are having- felling of doom, sadness, crying and chest pains which I believe are a physical manifestation of your significant depression. Please go back to your Dr for review- three weeks isn't quite ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision to give him space? because now I find he's dating someone else
Q. I'm pretty upset about a decision I made yesterday. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 6 months ago but told me he still loves me and that maybe we would get back together in the future. I respected his decision and left him alone but he wan...
A. 14 April 2016: Ow hunny, what a lovely lady you sound, I am sorry for this experience for you...its out of your hands, hes with someone else. There's nothing wrong with what you did - you took a shot to nothing, good for you! Now time to move forward knowing that ... (read in full...)
My BF has two red marks on his neck which were not there this morning. Should I worry he cheated?
Q. My BF has 2 red marks on his neck. They look like pimples only larger and flatter. They are close together. You could almost compare it to a vampire bite. What could they be? Background: He was supposed to come and see me this afternoon. He ...
A. 14 April 2016: We need more information. Why are you so suspicious? Are you naturally insecure in all relationships? If not, what has happened in this one to make you so? Are you on anxiety medication due to this one time or are you always on them? At first glance ... (read in full...)
He wants to move close to his baby mother! Am I overreacting?
Q. During a conversation with my boyfriend of 2 years, we were discussing areas of our city where we would like to live together. (We currently reside our parents) I told him that I wanted to live in a more central area where condos were being built ...
A. 10 April 2016: I think in some respects you are being unreasonable, but in other areas not so. Living in the same area so his child doesn't have to travel or allows him to see him more is fair enough. In my opinion if you are going to be a permanent feature ... (read in full...)
Am I being a drama queen for blocking him? And why wouldn’t he have checked on me?
Q. Hi , last week I posted a question about what I should do about the situation I am in. I am 5 weeks pregnant and currently going through an abortion I am just waiting for the second lot of pills. I am so upset and distraught about the whole ...
A. 9 April 2016: Oh my goodness you poor girl...hes a ###king idiot, you need to think of someone to confide in...you are not over reacting. Please do as the other aunts suggest - if your family are able to support you, a friend, pr a referral,from your GP. Wishing ... (read in full...)
I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!
Q. I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...
A. 9 April 2016: Hello again...aunt honesty is right in afraid. She is being really insensitive and thoughtless. Unless its a real reach- like I miss you sp much and I've made such a mistake, you really need to get on with your life. Are you responding to any of ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong, and selfish on my part to tell him how I feel, and tear him away from this woman?
Q. I dated a slightly older man for about a year and half until I left to finish my college education. We had decided to break what we had off since we weren't keen on the idea of a long distance relation ship and we had different goals to focus on...
A. 7 April 2016: Hi. That's a difficult dilemma...this contact you've maintained has meant neither of you could move on, and now hes gotten a girl pregnant.
He is going to live a lie, being with a woman he isn't happy with or loves, it is unlikely he will rema... (read in full...)
His New GF dumped him. Why he would choose to apologize to me after all this time?
Q. I'm confused about my ex and the sincerity of his apology. He treated me terribly but ended up apologizing to me 8 months later. When I first met him, he was intially really sweet and kind towards me but after about 4 months, I discovered that ...
A. 7 April 2016: This man is horrid! He had treated you absolutely appallingly, truly truly badly. He's apologising because he knows you're a safe bet to massage his ego after his girlfriend dumped him- she likely saw what a train wreck he is! If you are in cont... (read in full...)
She can’t have a simple argument, she blows everything out of proportion! I’m in a pickle!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a woman for the last three years. Throughout that time we in the main have been really really happy. We don't live together but have spent a lot of time with each other. When we do occasionally have the odd ...
A. 7 April 2016: Hi. Mate this is bad news! You have to ask yourself, if she knows how it affects you, yet still does this sulking, recoiling, immature responses over and over- does she understand you or love you here? Leaving you 100 miles away, no transport home ... (read in full...)
I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!
Q. I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...
A. 29 March 2016: Oh my good man...she is lonely and wants her ego massaged...nothing more. She is being very selfish and self absorbed, and disrespectful to you. She's been clear for you to move on- why are you both going to the same gym even? Go out with these ... (read in full...)
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