A
female
age
26-29,
*izzaLust
writes:I'm confused about my ex and the sincerity of his apology. He treated me terribly but ended up apologizing to me 8 months later.When I first met him, he was intially really sweet and kind towards me but after about 4 months, I discovered that he was still on the dating site we met on after we became exclusive and I confronted him about it. He turned cold and dumped me because we weren't 'incompatible' and that he was going to be too busy to be with me.After he dumped me, I defriended him from FB and lost his number. I was upset for a while and unfortunately I thought about him everyday....and then he contacted me two months later, telling me that he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to give things another try. I liked him so much that I wanted to give it another go.Three weeks later, things aren't going great. He forgot my birthday, cancelled multiple plans in a row HE made with me to hang out with his friends instead, and I was getting very upset about it. He then promised to take me out on a date after the last time he cancelled on me to make it up to me.The next day, I texted him when he wanted to hang out with me. No reply. Sent two more, no response. Called, number no longer available. He blocked my number. I sent an fb message and he blocked me on there, too. And afterwards all the other social media we both used. On twitter and instagram, he bragged and laughed about blocking me and was sharing this information with all of his friends. It made me feel like such a loser and I cried multiple rivers about it.Two months after that, mutual friends tell me he has a new gf and how he did so much crap for her on her birthday, dates, quality time together, and how he bought her a ring. I ignore it, drop our mutual friends to not hear anything else about him, and move on.Well, a few days ago we matched on tinder (lol) and he apologized multiple times for how he treated me. He mentioned that he received bad news about his mother having stage 4 cancer the day we were supposed to hang out. Instead of telling me, it was easier for him to just ignore me, drink, and get high with his friends instead. He acknowledged how rude it was and how much it probably hurt me and apologized.Now, I'm also aware that his newer gf dumped him less than a month ago. Apparently he's heartbroken over her. I'm wondering why he would choose to apologize to me after all this time only after his relationship with someone else ended....and through tinder. I mostly just want some perspective.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 April 2016):
 This is right from "the textbook"....
He dumped you because he thought he'd found another girl who he wanted to try. They went through a brief encounter, and either: 1. He got tired of her, or, 2. she got tired of him..... and they've split. So, NOW, he's prepared to have you as his "fallback" girl.
Do you want to be his "fallback" girl? If "yes," then re-open communications and go to it. If "no," then ignore his advances.... (and save your self-respect, as well!)...
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 April 2016):
 He just got dumped and wanted a ego-boost fix. And he KNEW very well that you... would allow him contact. I'm betting all other girl's he has had contact with have all blocked him sooner or later - because? He doesn't care about anyone but himself.
The contact, the apology, all of it.. is ALL about him. He even tosses in the mom's cancer to see if THAT will make you feel sorry for him and "forgive & forget" - not because he was upset about it, but because he knew it would garner sympathy. If he was SO distraught that he couldn't even TELL you and CANCEL the "hang out" he wouldn't have gone smoke dope with friends, he would have gone to his mother's side.
This guy is trolling Tindr, NOT for a GF but for hook-up.
He couldn't even manage to be exclusive (aka faithful) the 4 months you were together, and when you had the "nerve" to question him... he dumped you.
CUT him off. BLOCK & DELETE him from everything and TAKE a page out of HIS ex's "playbook" when someone treats you like crap, CUT them off - do not give them a second chance.
Want more, expect more.
And don't use Tindr if you are looking for a serious relationship. That is like finding a needle in a haystack .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2016): You ask "Why he would choose to apologize to me after all this time only after his relationship with someone else ended" It's because talk is cheap. He lonely and wants some female attention so he figures you will go along with it like you did before. You need to stop listening to his words and look at his actions:He turned cold and dumped you after you discovered he was still on the dating site.He forgot your birthday.He cancelled multiple plans in a row he made with you to hang out with his friends.He then promised to take you out on a date after the last time he cancelled and he ended up blocking you instead of telling you his mother has cancer. What stopped him texting you?He bragged and laughed about blocking you and was sharing this information with all of his friends.Wow what DO you see in him? I'm guessing you're hanging onto the first few months of your relationship but that isn't who he is. At the beginning everyone puts on a front like you do at an interview. It takes a long time to get to know someone. He has absolutely no respect for you and it would only be a matter of time before he goes cold on you and blocks you again.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (7 April 2016):
 Probably because he wants to pick you up until he can find somebody else. Don't trust a word this guy has got to say, from the sound of things it wouldn't even surprise me if he's lying about his mother's illness, he sounds like an absolute prick.
Avoid at all costs
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (7 April 2016):
This man is horrid! He had treated you absolutely appallingly, truly truly badly. He's apologising because he knows you're a safe bet to massage his ego after his girlfriend dumped him- she likely saw what a train wreck he is! If you are in contact with him- please stop it. Don't give him an explanation - you owe him nothing after his he treated you. Block him. The sooner the better- he's using you for an ego boost between women.
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