How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 31 July 2016: Sounds like you have put your foot down, so we can only imagine that there are aspects to thus relationship that are good and worth pursuing with these significant changes you have introduced and he has now agreed to.
I really hope it works ou... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 29 July 2016: So now you are doing the chores for his animals etc... Still not him, and he's making it clear daily that you are not raising your kids right. I think under different circumstances his daughter moving in is acceptable, in any partnership all kids ... (read in full...)
We caught feelings for each other, any advice?
Q. My fwb and I have both managed to catch feelings for each other. Our talks are no longer all about our next meeting, we text from good morning to good night throughout our day. Our conversations have been getting deeper. A few days ago we were ...
A. 15 July 2016: Yep you sure seem stuck...he isn't moving forward to you with this, and you tried to lay it out there. Sounds like for now at least its not going further - I'd start to date others if I were you, distract yourself and put this on the back burning. ... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: It's so hard when you what so badly to believe someone, because the alternative is so unbearable tho think about. However, I wouldn't believe this, its too ridiculous I'm afraid. Hes either hoping to get laid or is sleeping with someone going on the ... (read in full...)
Grieving for my twin brother who died. My parents don't mention him. How can I get through this grief?
Q. I lost my twin brother, actually i feel like i lost half my soul. I am never going to be the same person again because half of me has died. Family give reasons and excuses and say everything will work out. We had always been together, never ...
A. 9 July 2016: Hi. I am so sad that you lost your brother. I'm sad for you all to have lost him. I can only imagine how heartbroken you must all be. Please know that people deal with grief so differently, and this is what is happening.
Please go get some gri... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: Yep, I'm with when cows attack right now OP- you aren't looking quite the victim right now?... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: I'm just wondering why you are with him? Sounds like a cycle of destruction really. What's the good points of the relationship? Often relationships are held together by negative cycles and the highs that follow the awful lows such as occurs in the ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship possible with this age gap?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for a while now and I am realy into him and he says he is realy into me. Im 17 and he is 29. He dosnt want to hold me back and has said I can back out at any time and that he dosnt want to be selfish. It is my first proper ...
A. 8 July 2016: Terrific answer, WiseOwlE. OP, you'd do well to take the advice from him when you consider your choices. I would say, if my son or daughter was 17 and a man or woman touching 30 was interested in them, I would question their motive and be very ... (read in full...)
Should I wish my ex happy birthday?
Q. My ex and I dated briefly for four months and broke up two months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and I would love to wish him happy birthday. He broke up with me saying he no longer felt chemistry, and I no longer have feelings for him as well. I ...
A. 8 July 2016: Is it appropriate or weird? For me, the question is more why? Really,why? I don't believe you are not thinking of him as you should when you are truly over an ex and moved on... If you feel there is a need professionally for networking, id wait ... (read in full...)
Is a thankyou card to my doctor appropriate?
Q. Hi , Thanks for being helpful . I need a advice. I am going to doc for treatment. His treatment helping me a lot. I want to send him a card. I bought a thank you card.now I am confuse about sentance in the card. Its written thanks for making m...
A. 8 July 2016: Hi. I think its fine to send- people send cards to their Drs and nurses all the time. As long as there isn't anything beyond what you have said in your post, its fine. But really, it isn't expected so if it is causing you anxiety just tell him in ... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my current boyfriend with my ex, how do I get out o this love triangle?
Q. I need advice and please bear with me and this long post! So my boyfriend (I'll call him Oliver) and I have been together for 5 months now and we're very happy together. He's sweet as can be and he treats me like a princess. My ex (I'll call him ...
A. 8 July 2016: Oh dear. This sounds very messy indeed. I would say one thing- poor Oliver. You are treating him badly, and you only seem to value how he treats you well...which a bot comes over as if what you love is his attention. Or any mans really... Feeling ... (read in full...)
Now she’s wanting to try long distance but I have some doubts!
Q. So, I've been in a relationship with this girl for almost 15 months now. The thing is, she was here (asia) studying for a few years until she finished high school, and now she's moving back home to Europe, to study at Uni for the next 4-5 years, ...
A. 7 July 2016: Ah. This is sad to read to my view. You both sound lovely, and you sound very thoughtful and mature in your concerns and thoughts for her.
Long distance for that length of time, and at your age is going to be so tough! You guys are plane rides aw... (read in full...)
What should I tell my ex'?
Q. My ex boyfriend got in touch. What should I do? He sent me a message on Facebook last night. I received it this morning. He asked how I was. I told him I was doing ok and that my flat is nice. Last time we spoke, which was last October, I had only ...
A. 7 July 2016: You don't say if you have a current boyfriend? If you do you should speak to them about it. Is your ex with someone? Again if so be very very cautious.
What were the circumstances of your break up? How long were you together? It's hard to advise o... (read in full...)
My husband’s sister seems to be in love with him!
Q. Is my sister in law in love with my husband? Long story short weve been married for 7-8 yrs now 2 beautiful kids..he has a younger sister theyre 9 yrs apart and every time shes around she does anything to get his attention.. she seems to be jealous ...
A. 7 July 2016: This is a very confusing post. Can you clarify- how old is this girl? Is she a child? Nine years younger than him? How old is she? And why are you all sleeping in a small room together? Who is 'we all' regarding you all sleeping in one small room? ... (read in full...)
Should I give in to demands for anal?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend has been bringing up sex up the butt. I feel like I don't please him enough because he keeps trying to convince me about this, but I'm clearly offended that I'm not enough. Am I over reacting and taking it personally, or ...
A. 7 July 2016: Hes likely either curious or has done it before and enjoys it. Either way, I isn't about you not being enough I don't think. If you don't want to do it, tell him to stop badgering you aa it isn't your thing and you aren't doing it. ... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married man and I'm worried he will take up with this other woman who works for him!
Q. No judgment please. I have been having an affair with my married Martial Arts instructor for 2 years now. We still have the most amazing sex and electric chemistry and the relationship is mostly sexual although we both care about each other. I...
A. 5 July 2016: Oh my goodness... you sound extremely insecure and under confident in yourself. I suspect this is why you have become a mistress, for that is what you are. When a man is married and has an affair, he takes a mistress. You are not his girlfriend, ... (read in full...)
He ghosted and came back... what now?
Q. I posted a couple weeks ago. I dated someone for three months. The first two months were great. He was affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I) and reached out daily. We met 1-2x a week. However everything changed last month and I ...
A. 5 July 2016: I think hes seeing how you respond, wants to see if you are there if he wants you. He had his chance to respond to the text where you gave it your last shot - he chose not to. Hes not interested beyond this now. on a positive your text and your ... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 5 July 2016: Absolutely and utterly disrespectful and wrong. The only reason this is ok is, as everyone else says, they have a child and the ex as the mother needs to speak urgently about the child to illness or whatever. Otherwise this is totally unacceptable.... (read in full...)
How to create a life of my own after hiding behind ex for 6 years?
Q. I regretfully revolved my life around his for 6 years. It was emotionally abusive, am trying to work on my self esteem after it was battered for years. I am starting to realize in many ways this is a good thing that I was dumped. It did blindsid...
A. 5 July 2016: You are so welcome !
First of all, I want to say you hit rock bottom, reading your posts...and already you have started to move up from that place with your clarity of thought that is occurring. Already you have taken your first step up from roc... (read in full...)
How to create a life of my own after hiding behind ex for 6 years?
Q. I regretfully revolved my life around his for 6 years. It was emotionally abusive, am trying to work on my self esteem after it was battered for years. I am starting to realize in many ways this is a good thing that I was dumped. It did blindsid...
A. 4 July 2016: HUGE WELL DONE!! its amazing to read this start of your new journey! I don't have time to write more than that at this point, as working but will do later- just wanted to say that desperately as its so great to read this from you, after all your ... (read in full...)
I'm just confused? Is he either low key in love with me or obsessed or just crazy? What to do?
Q. I don't want to make this too long. Basically, I dated this dude, it was long distance. Blah blah. Let's call him “C” . C” and I dated from like, November 2014 till March 2015. We were basically the perfect couple and I couldn't go a minute, let...
A. 4 July 2016: This guy is a cheating slimeball, not to be trusted. He seems to take great joy in stringing you along, treating you with no respect, and playing with you. I feel very sorry for the fiance, she will at some stage learn what a horrid piece of work he ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 3 July 2016: Dating? You aren't dating. Dating occurs with single people, you aren't single, therefore you aren't dating. You are having an affair. What on earth makes you think that in an affair the adulterers should or would put the person they are having ... (read in full...)
He is staying overnight at the home of his ex, for family reasons. Is this appropriate? Do I have a right to be concerned?
Q. Hi. Quick question. Been with my boyfriend over a year. LDR and although I've met his kids, I haven't met the mother of them yet, just seen in passing as he drops off the children. We see each other most weekends. A few days back he stayed at h...
A. 3 July 2016: Um, so this is all new? I think you are right to understand in regard to the first time, but the second so he can drink? That isn't about the children and therefore I think it is reasonable to not find this acceptable as his partner. You seem sure ... (read in full...)
Do I call it quits or keep trying?
Q. This seems to be one of my longer stories so here it goes. I met this girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit before I got her number. We would text back and forth, we wanted to meet but I was very busy with school while she was as busy with work. But ...
A. 3 July 2016: You call it quits. I don't believe all that occurred to be honest, and then to ignore you when she's run out excuses- and you are always contacting first? Not cool at all. Id leave it now... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: Come come now OP, the picture you paint is increasingly poor in regard to this guy you are now engaged to. He doesn't contribute financially? Really? Yet he finds the money to pay for his daughters car and insurance? The daughter who is favoured ... (read in full...)
We caught feelings for each other, any advice?
Q. My fwb and I have both managed to catch feelings for each other. Our talks are no longer all about our next meeting, we text from good morning to good night throughout our day. Our conversations have been getting deeper. A few days ago we were ...
A. 2 July 2016: Hes back off a bit- which isn't a surprise given a text of I cant stop thinking about you, given your arrangement up till now. Try and keep things light. Don't text more than you would have before. Try and mirror what his texts relay at the moment ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex boyfriend ? He still has his girlfriend and I broke up with my boyfriend, but he doesn't know that
Q. Hey aunts! I need advice So I have an ex boyfriend who broke my heart. The relationship was amazing but due to him losing his job, he had to move right away. He said he didn't want to lose me and how he would always want to be with me but we...
A. 2 July 2016: He isn't single. I'll say that again. He isn't single.
Look how hes treating his girlfriend with these miss you etc messages. How disrespectful. Hes clear with his feelings towards you, this isn't him just catching up any more than it would be... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 2 July 2016: Hi. You say this is the only issue you have together...but actually, from what you have written its huge. You are right, this is your fault. You are allowing it to continue. A few things: - you say his daughter stays four days a week. Thi... (read in full...)
We caught feelings for each other, any advice?
Q. My fwb and I have both managed to catch feelings for each other. Our talks are no longer all about our next meeting, we text from good morning to good night throughout our day. Our conversations have been getting deeper. A few days ago we were ...
A. 1 July 2016: What are you scared of here? Trying something deeper and losing him if it doesn't work? Do you not think now feelings beyond fwb will lose him if you don't take a leap of faith anyway? If indeed you feel as he does that is....
Which would you regr... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has been speaking to his ex, what do I do?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years with a brief break in the middle. I have just discovered that he has been texting/sexting his ex from around 5-6 years ago, possibly his first official relationship. From the beginning, we have b...
A. 29 June 2016: Cindy cares...perfect!
And brown wolf... Boyfriends are only there to help you choose the right guy for life.
Come on OP. What's your next move? There isn't anyone here who would think what hes told you is true for a second...hes a l... (read in full...)
He's giving me the silent treatment right now, Will he return to me? I know he's abusive but I want him back
Q. I recently learned that the guy im dating is a narcissist. We've been through at least 3 cycles of devalue/discard and a recent cycle of re-idealization. He's giving me the silent treatment right now, will he ever return my calls or come ar...
A. 29 June 2016: You talk of recently learning, I take it you have pieced this together with your therapist. This is a good start. I am hoping you are now working on the areas of why he is so appealing still, so that you can be fully informed as yo why you are ... (read in full...)
Why can't I let go? Breaking up has left me feeling so low.
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me over text a month ago- I get it the relationship wasn't exactly a two way street. We did everythingn in his time and I put up with a lot more than I should have- like him bringing his friends over on date ...
A. 29 June 2016: Hi. I think you are the same poster who had written a couple of times before? Please go back to answer I have last time... Time to take control back here my dear, and employ the tactics from that ru help move on.... (read in full...)
Why do we keep on contacting each other after our breakup?
Q. My ex broke up with me over 2 months ago now, during the time from then to now - we have been in contact a lot and just basically can't seem to stay away from each other, no matter how much we say we will. We have repeated again and again to eac...
A. 27 June 2016: Totally agree with honeypie He is getting the best of both worlds here in afraid. He doesn't have time to miss you, to see if its enough to want to get back, but enough to bring him comfort while he MOVES ON. That's what he'll be doing, bit by bi... (read in full...)
Is it too late to reach out? Do his actions speak for themselves?
Q. I've been dating someone for three months. The first two months were amazing. We saw one another 1-2 times a week and spoke daily. Our connection was wonderful. But during the last month communication on his side dropped immensely. He basically ...
A. 27 June 2016: Ummm... I get that this is your second post, and you are clearly very bothered by it. I'm wondering exactly what the reaching out from you has been? Can you give more detail? In the last month, how many contacts did you initiate to his? Do you a... (read in full...)
It feels like he has checked out of the relationship.
Q. I feel like my boyfriend is taking me for granted. We are both 30. We've been together for half a year. The first four months were amazing. We always had a lot to talk about, he was very outgoing and chatty, and affectionate, and we did many things ...
A. 26 June 2016: ' don't be his moon. Don't orbit his life' fantastic line to be applied to any relationship! Totally agree with honey-pie!... (read in full...)
I'm not crazy .... am I?
Q. Hey everyone, I will keep this short and sweet (I am looking for a volume of answers to gauge what is deemed as acceptable by all) About six weeks ago I started chatting to a girl on Tinder, lovely bloody thing she is... We live 350kms apart, sh...
A. 26 June 2016: My belief is she's keeping her options open. Bottom line is you were chatting for six weeks and have met once.
While you were chatting together, she's been doing the same with this guy- you know that, right? And the agreed meet up - maybe it was a... (read in full...)
Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.
Q. I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...
A. 25 June 2016: I agree with Ciar. Sounds like you've had two months of full on, but then a month of pretty much nothing. Sounds like you are pretty together about it. Leave it a week and see if you hear from him, but mentally have it in your head that its over. If ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend still has profile picture on facebook of us together 5 days after break up?
Q. We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago, he has been acting strange ever since. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the day after this saying how much he loves me etc....
A. 25 June 2016: To read you were together for such a chunk of your time- nearly all your adult life - plus that its six years, this mist be so, so hard for you. I'm really sorry for you and how you must be feeling. It I immensely difficult when a relationship end... (read in full...)
She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?
Q. Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...
A. 24 June 2016: Hi. You don't need to say anything more about it I don't think. Just carry on s if the email and conversation was no big deal, and carry on as before. If you again bring it up you may look a bit silly, and get into any manner of tangled reasoning! ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being used by men?
Q. Ever since I turned 21 - now I am turning 30 I have always gone above and beyond for men. I would characterize myself as a young successful woman - I hold a good corporate job and two degrees and really Kee up with my appearance. Inside though I am ...
A. 20 June 2016: I have a feeling that you are the poster who has posted a few times about your ex finishing your relationship with a text, not seeing eye to eye when you wanted more etc.
Its super great that you have sought therapy, and taken this first step. Th... (read in full...)
Help ! What should I do? He treats me like someone he wants to string along
Q. I was with a relationship for 2 years. A few months ago i found out he had been two- timing me with his ex (i was apparently the side chick). I broke up. He pursued her like a crazed stalker for a month but she left him for good. Then he came for...
A. 19 June 2016: I wonder why you are with him. Ask yourself this: Is the reason I am with him because i am hoping one day he will stop treating me so badly, and see the woman i truly am, then he will treat me well...and therefore i will feel better about myself and ... (read in full...)
How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention?
Q. How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention? The earlier posts are EXACTLY what I keep running into! They get all flirty, talk to me for hours, text me cute things all day and when we finally have sex or try to, they say I'm ONLY in ...
A. 19 June 2016: I'm with chi-girl... Your last third of your post- that isn't a healthy relationship. That shows no respect for your ex at all. It reads basically you picked her up Sa broken mess, that you then made your life purpose to fix into what you wanted in ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my insecurities that are driving me nuts ?
Q. Hi, Thank you for reading... I am so insecure, I don't understand why. I've been dating this guy for about 9 months. Our families have met, he lied to me and told me that I was the first one that he had introduced to his family and later h...
A. 18 June 2016: Gosh this I an awful feeling to have.
I wonder if you have a general issue with exs? If so, read up on retroactive jealousy and see if you recognise how you are feeling.
Extreme insecurity and jealousy won't go away on its own I'm afraid...you... (read in full...)
How can this continue with me losing my sanity? I have a wife and a girlfriend who are both amazing.
Q. I've been having an affair with a much younger, beautiful and sexy woman for over three years. I am in a fairly good marriage and we've been married for 22 years. My wife and I are on the same wave length. We've been through a lot together and are...
A. 16 June 2016: Firstly, lets get something straight. You are not showing love for either of these women. You are not being true to them or honest with them...especially your wife. Your behaviour is appalling towards her. Three years of deception? Purposefully ... (read in full...)
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