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*elschatbox agony aunt

*elschatbox

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Hello, everyone. My name is Melanie and I live in Louisiana. I'm just here to lend an ear and help if I can. I'll always try to listen fairly and not judgingly. I've had my own turmoil in my life since my teenage years. I got married when I was 28 and still am married! Struggling though, everyday on maintaing my marriage. We have a long distance relationship....and it is really tough. I have 2 dogs that keep me company.....thank goodness!!WEll....hope I can help.

Melanie

< Prev1234Next > [4 pages, 114 answers]

Im confused... What could he possibly be thinking about!?

Q.   Alright, my ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months. We talked this weekend which mainly included me crying and explaining how I viewed the break up. He had broken up with me. He said that he wanted to think about a few things and for me ...

A.   29 January 2007: WEll..he's not sure if he wants to have a relationship with you at all. He broke up with you 3 months ago, and may be feeling like he made the right decision. Sorry, I know that hurts, but that's what I'm reading in to your note. I've gotten the ... (read in full...)

The only time he tells me he loves me, is when he is drunk! Does he mean it?

Q.   i am friends with a guy and lately have ended up sleeping with him a few times. I wasn't sure at first how much i liked him, was it just friends or did i like him more. When i asked him about it he just said he wanted to be friends, he wasn't ready ...

A.   29 January 2007: Okay,,, you've got a real winner here for sure. He sleeps with you and he's not your b/f and doesn't want a g/f and he can only say I Love You when he's drunk. You need to get out there and find someone that doesn't need to have all of these ... (read in full...)

She's married and I slept with her.. I have strong feelings-what do I do now?

Q.   I've known this woman for a couple of years and we've always been attracted to each other,but she's married. And i regret to say we have slept together. I still have strong feelings for her, and she for me.What should i do?...

A.   29 January 2007: Yes, you're asking this question in the hopes that someone will say..."aw, you poor thing!" You know the answer...you were aware of the risks of being with a married woman. Now, you want to be with her and vice versa. Guess what..you've both just ... (read in full...)

It's been a year since we split and I am still not over him! How do I cope?

Q.   I am still not over my ex. We were together a long time and split about a year ago. He has someone new and see no hope or reason for us to get back together but there is still no peace in my heart. During the day when I am busy it is ok but the ...

A.   29 January 2007: Blues2 is right! Once you meet someone new, the loneliness will subside. I know that doesn't help your situation currently, but it's some happy news to aspire too. I feel more sad and lonely at night myself. I think at night we have more time to ... (read in full...)

He feels we are to far to have a LD relationsnhip. I disagree-I like this arrangement. How can I get things back on track with him?

Q.   I have been in an on/off relationship for 4yrs. We live in different cities but this has suited me fine as I'm divorced with kids and at the moment don't want to get married again.I'm really relaxed with this guy and we get to see each other as ...

A.   29 January 2007: Hmmm... sounds like he's just tired of the extra effort it takes to travel. And, since he's having financial difficulties right now, he doesn't want you to carry that burden alone. Respectable of him, I'd say. Also, 4 years is enough time to realize ... (read in full...)

We never talk, we just steal looks at each other.. I think he likes me but I'm not sure! How can I tell?

Q.   hey there, i need some advice. there's this guy i like alot, we're both in the same class, we don't communicate- i mean talk- we only communicate by laughing if he says a joke i look at him and laugh or if someone sittng near says a joke we'd look ...

A.   29 January 2007: WEll, I think he's already doing it. Laughing, head turns, nods, staring in your eyes, making up things to talk to you about, being courteous to you as you sit or leave the classroom, etc...etc.... ... (read in full...)

Is it legal to sleep with your first cousin?

Q.   is it legal to sleep with your first cousin,...

A.   29 January 2007: I think it depends in what state...the question then becomes is it moral to sleep with your first cousin. ... (read in full...)

I can easily spend the day talking to people who aren't there...am I going crazy? What's wrong with me?

Q.   Ok this is going to sound completely insane and i'm embarrassed writing this but I'm 22 and I talk to myself! Its like you know when your a kid and you just play little games and you have imaginary friends? Its kinda like that. I dont know if its ...

A.   29 January 2007: Okay, from time to time we all talk to ourselves. I talk to my dogs. I am totally aware they don't understand me. I am not waiting for anyone other than me to respond, but yes I occasionally do this too. But, where you've made me very concerned for ... (read in full...)

I know she likes me but why cant we date as a couple? what should i do?

Q.   I've been hanging out with this girl for a while.every time i see her she bites her lip. she looks me in the eye and when i look away i can still see her looking at me. i went on one date with her.ive asked her to be my girlfriend once but she said ...

A.   29 January 2007: She does sound like she likes you. Perhaps she is shy. And, she may not be ready to be a girlfriend. Just take it slow and keep taking her places...when she feels more comfortable with you she may say YES~!... (read in full...)

LAdies, what ways have guys approached you--did you like the best? Can you share?

Q.   Can any kind girls/guys out there give me advice on where i can meet women? I've not had much luck for meeting girls now for years as i am quite shy. My friends are similar to me, so i dont really meet any through them, and i dont seem to pull on ...

A.   29 January 2007: Let's see.. I'm married now, but I can remember being "courted". Hmm.. it is easier to meet people through school and that you've grown up with most of your life. I met my first boyfriend in highschool. I met my husband in nursing school. We had a ... (read in full...)

When guys flirt with me, I find it hard to flirt back. Any tips?

Q.   How do you flirt? Im 15 and I am quite attractive, and I have had many guys say that I am, and add me on MSN and etc.. Yet I find it hard to talk to them. Furthermore, when they flirt with me I find it hard to flirt back! Please help me!...

A.   29 January 2007: Just cuz you were blessed with the looks doesn't mean you have the total package. ( I don't mean that harshly) What I'm saying is..you have one thing in your court...the others take practice. Talking and feeling comfortable with others (boys and ... (read in full...)

I'm 18 and pregnant. Worried I may miscarriage again..how can I prevent that from happening?

Q.   I am an 18 year old female who just found out today that i am pregnant.5 months ago i had a miscarriage and I am very frightened it might happen again.Do u have any advice for me far as how to prevent the miscarriage? I know miscarriages happen, but ...

A.   29 January 2007: No drugs, alcohol, or smoking. http://parenting.aol.com/parenting/onlyonaol/pregnancy/article/0,19840,648476,00.html Check out that website for more tips. Congratulations on your pregnancy!... (read in full...)

I have a boyfriend but I'm thinking of meeting up with this guy online who promises to give me 'wild sex.' Is this a good idea, or not?

Q.   Dear Cupid- Here is the problem: I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and I love him very much, but our sex life is a little boring. We usually have sex in the bedroom in the same position. I'm very sexual and I like to try new things in ...

A.   27 January 2007: You are craving excitement! Unfortunately, you can't have a committed relationship and fulfill your fantasies some where else. It's just not fair. If you can't talk to your b/f about your desires now, you never will be able to and then your future ... (read in full...)

I've spent 3 hours talking to her but now I think I love her. How do I tell her and how do I know if she likes me?

Q.   i went on a date with a girl for dinner. we spent about 3hours together talkin. at the end her brother came to pick her up in a car so she had to go quickly so she just said bye. she texted me when she got home thanking me for the dinner as i paid. ...

A.   27 January 2007: Woah! You are moving way too fast. You are going to scare her off if you keep up with that pace. One word: CLINGY! You two had one date. You don't know that you love her....yet. You are infatuated with her and maybe that could grow into love, bu... (read in full...)

Married gals! Would you be upset if your husband had a habit of winking at other women?

Q.   this is a question for married women- would you be bothered about your husband as a habit of winking at another woman (just one in particular)?...

A.   27 January 2007: WEll, to me that's offensive to you as his wife. Certain behaviors should be solely for your significant other. Yes, winking is one of them. That's flirtatious to me. And, rude. It's also not very suttle. It's out there, right in the open, where ... (read in full...)

Scared to confront my husband about his online chatting and possible cheating - he said he was working when the pic says otherwise!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been with my husband for 6 yrs (married 4). He has been spending a lot of time online chatting to 1 particular woman, and just before x-mas he said he was thinking of leaving me, but that he wanted to work it out. I agreed t...

A.   27 January 2007: If he wants to work it out with you, how come he still texts and phones her? To me, that's not acceptable and it's only confusing him more. You're going to have to lay it on the line that you don't want him talking to her anymore. And, if he was ... (read in full...)

Do girls masturbate as much as us guys do?

Q.   i am 15 year old boy and at school all the boys talk about them w**king all the time, but it seems that girls dont and never have done, is this true....

A.   27 January 2007: Yes, girls do it. They may not start as young as guys, but once they figure it out...they do it. I did it when I was about 15. We never talk about it though...with guys it's just the cool thing. See, society teaches that girls aren't supposed to ... (read in full...)

My OCD makes me feel I have to tell my bf personal, weird things about myself..what should I do?

Q.   I know it might sound like this is a joke but i really am not joking. I have OCD so i obsess over things and think he has to know every thing about me but more the bad and that is probably because my ex made me tell him everything but anyways, you ...

A.   27 January 2007: CD is right. Write down your thoughts. You do not need to share every thought with him. And, he's told you not to. That is a random thought. You somehow feel as if you don't tell him you're not being truthful and it could damage the relation... (read in full...)

Does cheating on my fiancee automatically mean marriage is the last thing I should do?

Q.   I have been dating this guy since I was 14- now 21 and engaged to him. I always wanted to get married young and having a family is the most important thing to me. We have never broken up or taken a break-he has cheated on me once 4 years ago and I ...

A.   27 January 2007: Yes, dear marriage right now is the last thing you should do. I won't sugar coat it. You two have both had difficulties staying faithful to each other. That's not a sign of a lasting relationship. My thought is you two have known each other so long, ... (read in full...)

For my b'day, my bf had wine and cake for me but no present! Am I expecting too much?

Q.   OK, i was just wondering on peoples opinions on this. It was my birthday a couple of days ago, had a lovely evening with my mates but then I got a bit disappointed. My boyfriend bought a bottle of wine and birthday cake, but no present for me. ...

A.   27 January 2007: I don't think you are being ungrateful at all! It was nice of him to have the cake for you, but he should have gotten you something! You're right. Just something to show that he took time to choose a gift that reminded him of you. (but, I am female) ... (read in full...)

Can I learn to deepthroat?

Q.   my boyfriend says that the only time a girl is good at giving head is when she can deep throat. how do you do that? he's fairly large in the trouser department. 8 inches. so i'm guessing it wont be easy but i want him to enjoy it so i gotta learn ...

A.   26 January 2007: I agree with Cd and David Lewis. No one can consistently deep throat the whole while performing oral sex...so he is trying to mislead you. My gosh, you do have to come up for air. You can't tell me that the minute your mouth encompasses his penis he ... (read in full...)

Her counsellor told her to ditch me so that she could form relationships with guys who lived nearby!

Q.   I've been going out with my girlfriend now for just over 4 months. We live both live in britian but about 4 hours on the train apart. I thought we were doing fine, a few bumps on the road mostly due to my girlfriends insecurity's. On my last visit ...

A.   26 January 2007: 4 months feels like a long time to bond, but it's not really. This could be a monumental point in your relationship as to whether it becomes something serious or was just a fling. She does sound very confused. I'm sure her roommates are tired of ... (read in full...)

His youngest daughter is four years older than me... Would it be a huge mistake to sleep with this man?

Q.   I'm a 17 year old high school student, and for the past three years I've been having a relationship with the 46 year old Head of Security at my high school. It started out as a friendship, and grew to be much, much more. I would like to stress that ...

A.   25 January 2007: The consequences would be disasterous!! You are a bright girl. I think you know that what you and he are doing is morally wrong. Not b/c of the age difference but b/c he is married and you have a b/f. Have you considered how hurtful and damaging ... (read in full...)

She's older and more experienced! We've kissed so what can I expect next?

Q.   hello, my problem is I dont know what to do in my relationship next. I love my girlfriend much and we have been going out for about a month. She is older than me and is a bit more experienced,as i have never had a proper girlfriend before. we have ...

A.   24 January 2007: Nothing has to be next. Enjoy mastering kissing...you'll know when's the right time to move on to further things. Don't feel pressured b/c she's older, she obviously likes something in you ...a younger guy. Don't rush into sex..b/c you only have ... (read in full...)

I care for her and she called me to her aid, when her bf hurt her. Should I read anything into this?

Q.   My girlfriend came to me 3 months ago and said that we needed to go on a break but that she still loved me and definitely wanted to get back together with me fairly soon. While this obviously upset me i still comforted in the thought that she would ...

A.   24 January 2007: She will rely on you as long as you allow her to. I bet shortly after she cried on your shoulder, she went back to him. That's the nature of young love. Although, you have this inside information that he is probably no good for her..she will never ... (read in full...)

She wants us to be more intimate. What does she mean?

Q.   My girlfriend has told me that she wants our relationship to be more intimate, what does that mean and what can i do to be more intimate?...

A.   24 January 2007: Intimacy is: a feeling of emotional or spiritual closeness. That means she wants you to talk to her more..connect on issues that bother the two of you.. discuss her wants/desires/dreams.... and your too! She wants you to love her more than just ... (read in full...)

Besotted with this other woman because of boredom in my marriage! What should I do?

Q.   Hi. I am in a bit of a muddle - not sure whether it is fate or love... I am 21 and have been married for 1 year and been with my wife for 6. She was the first love of my life, and I seriously have never taken my eyes off her! However, a girl...

A.   24 January 2007: Yep! It's lust. Take a deep breath and think back to how much you loved your wife until you took this girl to a dance??...No, that's not love and certainly not worth risking your marriage over. You best leave this girl alone. What you are feeling is ... (read in full...)

My wife has told me she has had enough and refuses to communicate with me. What should I do?

Q.   I am a young 86 year old in second marriage with splendid Christian service to a lady 14 years younger who has been splendid. I had a blood clot heart attack in March 2005 and have been looked after wonderfully. Also as a war disabled veteran extra ...

A.   24 January 2007: WEll, Podger I don't think you can force her to come home. Just think how stressful and more upset she would be if you did that. If prior to the stroke she wasn't sounding like herself, it's possible it was due to lack of blood flow to the brain. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my Mom that Dad looks at porn?

Q.   Hi, I'm 13 years old and about three days ago i was searching through my parent's computer's search history. To my horror, I found that my father had been looking at porn. I went to google desktop to find that he had been looking at it since Aug of ...

A.   24 January 2007: Yeah, although you are taught very young that porn and sex is wrong (until you are married...with sex that is) lots of people view it occasionally. But, I agree with the other chatters, it's not your place to say anything. If it really bothers you, ... (read in full...)

I paid her debts and helped her get back on her feet..then she dumps me! What should I do?

Q.   2 years ago I met this girl who was living with another woman and her 2 children. we fell in love and she split with the woman. we got engaged a few months later. she fell pregnant and had baby. i paid off her debt, bills, fixed her house, bought ...

A.   23 January 2007: She's a woman of the worst kind!! Unfortunately, there are women and men like this in the world!! All you can do is learn from it...and get as far away from her as possible. Look for a woman that will love YOU not your money. You helped her get back ... (read in full...)

After trying to get back the spark, I still feel something lacking in our marriage. What should I do?

Q.   Is it possible to fall out of love with someone after 20 years of marriage? My husband and I married quite young (19 yrs.old) we have no children, though I've always wanted a family -- he did not. I think I knew after within the first 5 years of...

A.   23 January 2007: Anon, I think lots of women can relate to you. I have not been married as long as you (6years) but I can relate. WE have no children also. I feel a void in our life. To me something is certainly missing as well..I've often wondered if kids would ... (read in full...)

How long will my doubts last?

Q.   I've been in a relationship for 5 years and this past year he has been kinda of acting out. Saying things like I don't know what i want to do. Whether to proceed on to the next step or be my himself or what. I'm wondering how long does this type of ...

A.   23 January 2007: Shandy, is right. Your thoughts matter here as well. What are you feeling? Is he the right guy for you..Is he the one you want to be with forever? It's normal to evaluate the relationship before taking a big step like that. If the doubts are making ... (read in full...)

Any other good websites to get advice about approaching women?

Q.   OK I know this sounds like a stupid question but does anyone know any good places to ask about relationship advice (approaching women etc.) APART FROM this site. I ask because I went onto askmen.com and although some stuff was good advice, it ...

A.   21 January 2007: yahooanswers is not specific enough for male advice..but it is another resource. Ask away...... (read in full...)

Is it normal to touch yourself when having an orgasm?

Q.   IS IT NORMAL TO TOUCH YOURSELF WHEN HAVING AN ORGASM?...

A.   21 January 2007: Yes! Totally normal!... (read in full...)

Should I forget about the work guy or finish my long term relationship?

Q.   I fancey this bloke at work and slept with him once. i know now he likes me and i like him. He is not making any further moves because his friend likes me. The other problem is im with someone else and have been for 6 yrs its getting very bor...

A.   21 January 2007: Only you know this answer. Ask yourself if you were happy with your b/f before you met this work guy? Maybe you are just curious and infatuated with the thought of a new guy. But...you have cheated on your b/f now! That is a sure sign that your ... (read in full...)

Things just dont seem the same, can we recover??

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years and 2 weeks ago she said she doesnt want the relationship anymore, due to the arguements etc. She said she still wanted me and loves me. We agreed to give the relationship another go and try ...

A.   21 January 2007: You 2 need a fun night out with a little wine! Seriously! Be impulsive..you make plans..you bring her flowers..and you rent a room!! If that fails...you 2 are just buddies..if you "get your groove on"...then it's back to being lovers!!! Woohhoo!!! ... (read in full...)

My head has been turned by a colleague, now I no longer love my wife. Help!

Q.   To be honest you may have been asked this very question a million times and it must be the hardest to answer! Its is a matter of a married person who thought he was in love with his wife only to find a true love without looking. Ok here goes. I...

A.   21 January 2007: Wow, I really feel for you, I really do. I know that feeling ... it's like you're just waking up for the very first time when you meet that person you never even knew existed and they're standing right there in front of you. They're standing ... (read in full...)

He's forgotten about the "little things" and I don't feel loved anymore

Q.   Hi. I have been together with my boyfriend for almost two years. When we first started going out, he was really sweet and attentive. And now some things have really started to change. He doesn't kiss me anymore unless we are having sex, he never ...

A.   21 January 2007: Yes, I can relate. The small things they do for us and say to us help to establish a feeling of security with our mates. If he doesn't compliment you, caress you, kiss you or show affection or tender moments unless during sex, I feel your pain. When ... (read in full...)

My husband puts more effort into pleasing his dad than pleasing me!

Q.   why does my husband seem to constantly feel the need to please his dad? he puts so much time and energy into it that he has none left for me and he also works for his dad. he is almost forty so i find this odd. he is always so exhausted when he gets ...

A.   21 January 2007: I think he likes having dad depend on him. He likes to feel needed. Maybe, you don't allow for that? not sure. Or, maybe dad guilts him into being at his beckon call. It's good to be respectful and helpful to our parents but, spousal ... (read in full...)

Four years and four million reasons not ot trust her !

Q.   Help! Very confused! I really hope someone answers this question as i feel like banging my head against a birck wall.I met my girlfriend whilst in the first few months of an attempt at university. We got together very quickly and it was the first se...

A.   21 January 2007: YOU two are both not ready for a serious commitment with one another, that's for sure! History would show that yes, you will get dumped in May. She hasn't spent one single bday or christmas with yOU?? c'mon dude....she's not that into you, sorry. I ... (read in full...)

My husband takes me for granted so I cheated on him with a guy at work. But this guy is married aswell. Who should I choose? My husband or the married guy at work?

Q.   I have been married for 20 years to a guy who takes me completely for granted, we have no kids because he doesn't want any (I do!)Just lately I have been attracted to another man at work. I got a new job working in the same office as this man, I ...

A.   21 January 2007: WEll, I could be exactly in your shoes right now. I am so unhappily married at the moment. My husband works in another state and is enrolled in school there also. We hardly see one another and I just keep getting more lonely everyday! I met someone ... (read in full...)

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