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... Send *elschatbox a private message | | | *elschatbox's profile:Hello, everyone. My name is Melanie and I live in Louisiana. I'm just here to lend an ear and help if I can. I'll always try to listen fairly and not judgingly. I've had my own turmoil in my life since my teenage years. I got married when I was 28 and still am married! Struggling though, everyday on maintaing my marriage. We have a long distance relationship....and it is really tough. I have 2 dogs that keep me company.....thank goodness!!WEll....hope I can help.
Melanie |
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My husband takes me for granted so I cheated on him with a guy at work. But this guy is married aswell. Who should I choose? My husband or the married guy at work?
Q. I have been married for 20 years to a guy who takes me completely for granted, we have no kids because he doesn't want any (I do!)Just lately I have been attracted to another man at work. I got a new job working in the same office as this man, I ...
A. 21 January 2007: WEll, I could be exactly in your shoes right now. I am so unhappily married at the moment. My husband works in another state and is enrolled in school there also. We hardly see one another and I just keep getting more lonely everyday! I met someone ... (read in full...)
I'm married but my male friend confessed he had feelings for me. I haven't heard from him for a while. Do you think its over with he and I?
Q. Hi there, I've been happily married for 10 years. I recently met a really nice guy who i thought would make a good friend. We have been chatting a bit; he calls to my place of work to see me (i work in a public building). He doesn't text or ...
A. 20 January 2007: Hey, there. Yes, I think it's over for you 2. He told you about his feelings simply to hear what you'd have to say about it. He was looking for some confirmation that you maybe felt the same. (Been there....)In the long run, not seeing this guy ... (read in full...)
We're married and we can't cannect on work schedules and having children. Are we ready for a divorce?
Q. How do you know when you're ready for divorce? Bubble, Bubble, Toil and trouble...yep, that's my marriage right now. We're totally drifting apart and I don't see us connecting on some major issues. I want him to work close to home, he wants to work ...
A. 19 January 2007: Truly, I have been trying. It's been over a year that he's not been consistently sleeping in the same bed at night with me. I have asked him point blank "IF after graduation he ever planned on coming back home and living here again?" His response..I ... (read in full...)
He is going on a cruise with his best friend, who is female and not taking me with him!
Q. Ok here is the story... I meet this guy when I was in a bad marriage. A few days after meeting him, I finally got the courage up to file for divorce. Realizing without a current job it was not worth being miserable anymore. I started dating h...
A. 19 January 2007: Oh, man... he's not sounding very grown up to me. The ole "I don't want to hear you yap about it for the rest of my life..thing bugs me!" Either he respects your feelings about being his S.O. or he doesn't. This is only one hurdle you two will face ... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off or did he lose interest?
Q. I was in a relationship but met someone else, He started telling me he was falling in love with me not long after, I decided to move out to be with him because he acted as if he was crazy for me. Once I was in my own place he started backing off. ...
A. 19 January 2007: He doesn't want to move too fast for both of your sakes. And, you should take time to be on your own and decide what you really want also. YOUR trying to see the future before you live in the present. Trust me I do it all the time too. Just need to ... (read in full...)
I want to forget about her and move on but I still love her! Any advice?
Q. Hi, could you please help me with this….. I have been in relationship with my partner for year and half. I have to say, from the first few months of knowing her I felt that we might not be right for each other, but I kept saying to myself no o...
A. 19 January 2007: You were in a bad place for long enough, time to get out! Move on..laugh, live, and love. Find a woman that we'll share more of herself with you not one that wants to dominate you and berate you to make you feel small and meek. That's no life for ... (read in full...)
Can one's feelings change the moment something is said. Has anyone experienced this same situation?
Q. Has it ever happened to you that in a relationship something in a moment you can pinpoint, makes you realize that you have seen the light and your feelings towards the other person change? I'll elaborate a little: in my last relationship, i ...
A. 19 January 2007: Hmm Cd is correct (to a certain extent). It really depends on if it's a trivial thing this is over or HUGE life differences. And, I can pretty much bet it's not that he said just one thing you didn't like...it's been a couple of things. You may not ... (read in full...)
Hes going to be away for 3 months, will things be the same when he gets back ??
Q. My boo is away for 3 months, we've known each other for 3 yrs,we talk on the phone daily,will our relationship be the same when he gets back?...
A. 19 January 2007: If this is a one time thing...yes, things will probably be the same. If you two are apart longer than this ..then no your relationship will probably fail. I am married and in a long distance relationship. It has been 9 months that we've been living ... (read in full...)
Does marriage counselling help?
Q. I seem to have let love slip away. Now I feel no love or respect for my husband. I am ready to leave but feel that it is worth it to try to get it back. Does marriage counseling (or one of these highly advertised alternatives that you can order) ...
A. 19 January 2007: I am currently in counseling. He hasn't attended. I have learned coping mechanisms, have been referred to great self-help books, and have been able to talk to someone honestly about my relationship in counseling. I think it could be going much ... (read in full...)
Why is the kissing and getting intimate not making me hot?
Q. Alright so this girl and i have been going out for a few weeks (ive actually known her since we were like 8 or 9) --but we just starting going out. Ive always liked her and i like being around her... But today i went to her house and we hung out ...
A. 19 January 2007: You answered this question yourself.
mayb its the fact that ive known her since we were kids, and i just cant get over that like dating a sister or something-- it just doesnt seem right
That's what I'm thinking, too. Let me tell you a story... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about her but she's married! She says she feels 'something' but is commited to her marrige. What can I do?
Q. I'm a single guy in my thirties. Last year i met this great woman at a place i don't go to very often. I asked her out as i thought she was lovely and amazing. She refused as she's married. A couple of months ago, i met with her again at the s...
A. 19 January 2007: Boy, can I relate. I'm a married gal and can't get another guy out of my head. Nothing has come of us and we do not converse on the phone anymore and our email exchanges are becoming less and less everyday. I last heard from him 3 weeks ago. We also ... (read in full...)
I want him to show me affection and not just during sex. I don't know what to do.
Q. hey. my boyfriend doesn't know how to show love or affection. he can't cuddle me or kiss me unless there is another reason. the only time i ever feel this real love and affection is when we are having sex. i know he isn't just with me for t...
A. 19 January 2007: Well, he's shut down any chance of communicating about this painful subject with you . That's not fair. You need more in this relationship and he should strive to give it to you. He "sounds" like he has a fear of intimacy and close relationships. ... (read in full...)
We love each other but he works out of state and it's doing my head in!
Q. Do people that seem to still love one another get divorced? There's no physical/emotional abuse to speak of, no alcoholisim or drugs, and no "omg..I just found out I'm gay". The problem is growing apart...and my husband works out of state. We ...
A. 19 January 2007: Let me clarify we were seeing one another 1 week a month. Now, with him enrolled in school it would be every 3 months unless I can fly up there to see him. ... (read in full...)
All I’ve only wanted to do is get to know her and have a romance. Have I been naive and foolish? Any advice is apprciated.
Q. I am a bachelor in my late forties, who has tended to avoid relationships – basically you can get hurt! Over the past 7 years, my attitude has altered somewhat – I’m getting older; contemplararies are either been long-married/in relationships and ...
A. 18 January 2007: This memoir should be published. Hey, I think with this much effort on your part and years of "hit and misses", I think it's time to throw in the towel. The ball is absolutely in her court and you need to get out there and meet other women. So, ... (read in full...)
Am I in love with the man or just the idea of being with someone?
Q. I have recently become incredibly close to a friend of mine who is a good deal older than myself to the extent that we flirt with each other and spend a great deal of our time together. Thing is he lives with another woman his own age. I don't know ...
A. 18 January 2007: Wow. You've got it bad. So do I! Except I'm the married one. I met someone online..we hit it off and I am having the same thoughts as you. My marriage is in shambles..and this guy has fulfilled such a void in my life. I know what you mean by falling ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I met a guy online. Any thoughts?
Q. hi how u doing i met this man online about a year ago we get on really well got the same sense of humour hes really caring when things were going wrong for me he rings me up we have talked on the phone and sent each other one pictures im just...
A. 18 January 2007: Hey..I've met lots of people online. I have chat friends from all over the world. It's great to learn about different life experiences from others. A year of chatting is quite a long time to develop something real if you ask me. IT's time to at ... (read in full...)
I planned to meet an online guy friend. Then he cancelled b/c I'm married! What happened?
Q. Having trouble getting over someone I never met!HELP? Yes, I am married! I met someone online 6 months ago. We talked about everything under the sun. WE became great friends. We looked forward to chatting w/each other daily. Even though I was marr...
A. 18 January 2007: Thank you all! I am not an illogical gal, really I'm not. And, the last poster that said my marriage is missing something is totally dead on. He works out of state. He wasn't coming home but for 1 week a month. I didn't feel affection or nurturing ... (read in full...)
Our 1 year anniversary... ruined when I found the pics on his camera of another girl being all slutty!
Q. For me and my boyfriend's 1 year anniversary we went to the Morakami Museum, took a camera, loads of pics, everything was perfect. We sat down and ate, so I wanted to see some of our pics that we've taken so far. Going through them I saw pictures he ...
A. 18 January 2007: Awww..sorry to hear that happened to you! Hmm..wellll I don't believe in the old over used excuse"boys will be boys". I think we are all responsible for our actions and he should have never let this chick up against him in such a provactive manner. ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and when I orgasm a lot of semen (too much) comes out.This never used to happen before. What's going on?
Q. hey, well me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months (im 15 shes 14). We lost our virginities to each other a couple of weeks ago. The problem was that i came really quickly, i had this problem at the beginning of the relationship when she ...
A. 18 January 2007: Okay..way tooo young to lose your virginity..(but, I'm not here to judge) Young males often ejaculate quickly and sometimes in copious amounts. The reason she is not enjoying it is b/c it takes practice to make it any good and she's 14! There is a ... (read in full...)
I have a weird lump on my vagina. Does anyone know what it might be? Is it anything to worry about?
Q. Im a teen and i have a weird lump thing at the back of my vagina i dont have a clue what it is but if anyone knows or experiences the same thing please tell me ....
A. 18 January 2007: Yes, dear it sounds like a bartholin cyst. Apply warm compresses...sometimes they do need to be drained..(it's not bad..I promise) but...get a Dr's opinion. ... (read in full...)
I can't stop flirting with the girl at work, but I'm happily married! What do I do?
Q. Ive been working in my new place for about 18 months now. My department is great and we all seem to get on. Im happily married and there is a younger girl in our department and things have gone where they shouldnt have. I like her and get on ...
A. 17 January 2007: Okay, I kinda know where you're coming from. Although, I'm not happily married.. I found myself in a flirting situation also. The only solution is to stop! For goodness sakes, people should be professional at work anyway. Why is this considered the ... (read in full...)
Should I come out to my rough and ready family?
Q. i am bi-sexuall and crossdresser i come from an lets say an hardknock family should i come out or should i remain doing it in private...
A. 17 January 2007: Nope. No reason to bring it out there unless you fear they'll find out some other way. Sexuality is a private issue. Whethere your hetero, gay, bi, or whatever...... (read in full...)
Am I being petty? Tell me what you think.
Q. Hi. Am i being petty? I went with my partner to his works do on saturday night. We went last year and it was fantastic, he was so attentive to me. We have been together now 20months and engaged. Well, a woman who he gets on well at work sat on our ...
A. 17 January 2007: I've had moments like that in my life also. Is he younger than you? I'm sensing that he may be. But, we all have moments of jealousy. Sometimes we can keep them to ourselves ..and then we just get over it or sometimes we can't. He treated you ... (read in full...)
Husband is diabetic, never wants sex but loves his porn! What should I do?
Q. Husband is diabetic and very caring and loving but never wants sex with me but watches lots of porno videos ...
A. 17 January 2007: Not sure of the relativity of his diabetic state to his not wanting to be intimate with you. Porn is not healthy for one individual in a marriage to enjoy. It just isn't. Sounds to me like he's lost intimate feelings for you. Ask him why? Make him ... (read in full...)
Going out with a younger guy (24, I'm 33)... Do I wait until he's ready to settle or move on now?
Q. My boyfriend is 24 and im 33 i am ready to settle down get married and have children but he says hes too young yet. What do i do time is running out for me. Do i wait till he is ready or fine someone else am i wasting my time. I dont know what to ...
A. 17 January 2007: WEll.I'm married so I'm a step ahead of you. BUT..I'm 34 and hear my biological clock ticking all the time. My husband is 33 and the baby thing just keeps getting pushed back for one thing or another. He says when he finishes school in 1 1/2 years ... (read in full...)
Been married for 11 years and we are having marrital problems. I think it's time to get out. What do you think?
Q. I feel like it is time to get out. I have been married for 11 yrs. with 2 kids.(Whom I love dearly) We have had marrital problems in the past do to my actions. 8yrs later, I still get comments like-where have you been, your girlfriends? why ar...
A. 17 January 2007: Okay..you incenuate you have been unfaithful with your wife in the past. You and she have never truly healed from this experience. Nor, has she forgiven you. If one partner is unfaithful, I would imagine it is near impossible to get feelings of ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. Should I dump him before he dumps me?
Q. my bf and i have been dating for about a year and a half before he left for further studies in the U.S. before he left we had no trust issues but now I am afraid the whole long distance thing wont work. I am in africa, he's miles away and i have to ...
A. 17 January 2007: The better way to view your relationship is not ..."Let me break up with him first, before he breaks up with me" but..let me live my life ..while he's living his. I can with little reservation say your situation won't last. Opposite sides of the ... (read in full...)
I do not want an online IM relationship_I want a real one with him! What can I do?
Q. I met a guy a while back and we're both really keen. Thing is, I hardly ever see him, and when I do it's quite awkward. It seems the only time we're really comfortable and chat away is on instant messenger, and I don't want that kind of relati...
A. 17 January 2007: I have been there too. Although, me and my guy never met. WE talked about it. And, then we just agreed for it not to happen. I think online relationships make it easier for chatters to use that as an excuse not to make it serious or something real. ... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding? Tell me what you think.
Q. I have invited some friends, my brother, his girlfriend and her daughter for dinner. My partner is cooking and it is his birthday. He has planned to make curry, which he does from scratch by grinding up all the spices etc. My small son it going ...
A. 17 January 2007: wow. Well, it's your hubbys bday event. They've known all year when your hubby's bday is..right? I say.. they should accomodate yall schedule. We generally are not so restrictive or formal with dinners. (I live in the south! lol) But, to each his ... (read in full...)
How do I stop having a crush on my husband's cousin - I'm not sure how I'll act once I've had a drink around him!
Q. I'm just really looking for some advice. I'n not sure whether I am in love with my husbands cousin or whether it's just a schoolgirl like crush on him. I have only been married to my husband for almost a year and have a young daughter, but I ...
A. 17 January 2007: These feelings will pass, trust me. It's strange how we become attracted or think we do to other members of the family. It's happened to me..I think it's because we try hard to be liked and be accepting of the family members. I really don't know why ... (read in full...)
I find my husband-to-be an irritating little nerd... give me a wake-up call
Q. I find my bloke an irritating little nerd! Honestly, we are getting married in 8 weeks time and he gets on my nerves. He picks at my son (aged 15). States all the jobs he is 'going to do' and nothing gets done. He works shifts and sometimes we don't ...
A. 17 January 2007: If you feel this way now...it will only get worse. I've been married 6 years. My husband royally gets on my nerves also. I think if they are doing enough of the positives then you don't tend to focus on the negatives. But, I will tell you these ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and a virgin and met a 41-year old woman on webcam... We're meeting this Saturday!
Q. Ok. I’m 19years old and have been desperate to lose my virginity for years, I’ve had chances to with decent girls but have stop our relationship getting to the next level because they where not virgins too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, as I’ve ...
A. 17 January 2007: You absolutely shouldn't! What are you thinking...you had me on the virgin loses it with a virgin phrase. That made sense to me..now you're willing to lose your virginity with someone you don't love, never met, and is more than twice your age. Your ... (read in full...)
We cry all the time b/c we live 60 miles away and rarely see each other. Any advice?
Q. i have a girlfriend that i have not seen in almost a year, we talk a lot over the phone and have done since we last saw each other, the reason i have not seen her in nearly a year is ecause she lives 60 miles away, we love each other very much but ...
A. 17 January 2007: Love shouldn't hurt this much. If you two are now getting depressed everytime you speak instead of being happy with one another ..maybe you two should think about ending it. Love should be filled with happiness, warmth, excitement.... Don't make ... (read in full...)
There were photos of another girl on his phone. He also meets w/ his ex but says he dislikes her. I don't understand!
Q. My boyfriend and his ex were together for 2 years and were engaged. before he met me, he liked this girl i have met her once. while i was with him he kept looking at her. i looked at his phone once too, and there was a few photos of her on there. he ...
A. 17 January 2007: How long have the two of you been together? It's normal to feel "jealousy" of what you perceive that the two of them had. Although, it's never quite as good as what our imaginations make of it. If you feel he's trustworthy..then it's probably ... (read in full...)
My bf was due back last month and has extended his studies abroad for 4 months w/ no explanation! I love him, but I feel I should move on.
Q. I feel am loosing him. I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years without seeing or meeting my boyfriend, who went abroad for further studies. We have been communicating everyday by phone,mail and text messages until the for the last...
A. 17 January 2007: I feel your pain. I'm not sure how you two have made it without ever meeting one another this long. 3years? I'd say that's devotion. I understand your wanting to move on. Have you just sat and waited or have you continued living your life while he ... (read in full...)
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