I feel like an un-wanted guest, what should I do?
Q. Help, my friend invited me and another friend to cape town. we had a great two weeks. on the way to the airport he persuaded me to stay for a few months and go traveling with him. This went down very badly with his girlfriend who was angry he never ...
A. 14 December 2008: He did ruin the rest of your holiday, and by making you feel unwelcome he is at least partly responsible for you having to book a last-minute and therefore more expensive flight home.
Believe it or not, his offer of money probably benefits... (read in full...)
My fiancee showed up when I was flirting a bit with my lesbian friend, what can I do now?
Q. I was at work when my friend (shes a lesbian and I also knew her since we both were 5) popped in to say happy brithday and to congardlate me getting merried (in 5 weeks). One thing lead to another and we started flirting a bit. When my fiance showed ...
A. 8 December 2008: Who did the cheating? You or a previous boyfriend? Either way explains her response a little better, but if you never cheated it's still not really fair of her to jump to conclusions on this.... (read in full...)
Is my hubby gay?? Why does he want to have sex with another man while I watch?
Q. I have a problem...My husband and I have been married for 17 years.. We got married very young. I was 18 he was 23 he is the only man I've ever been with..He tought me everything I know about sex..We have always been very kinky in the bedroom..He ...
A. 8 December 2008: It's possible that he is gay, but it's also possible he's bi, questioning, or just plain and simple having a midlife crisis of sorts that is expressing itself through his sexuality. Midlife crises can provoke the sufferer to take risks they might ... (read in full...)
Do you think I appeared needy and what are the odds that we have another date?
Q. We met last week. He came over to mine and stayed the night and the whole next day and left at 8pm the next night. We talked the next day online. I sent him about 4 messages over the course of a full week. He answered all of them. In one of those ...
A. 8 December 2008: I don't think your previous communications with him sound "needy" but if you mail him again you might. By telling him to let you know when he is ready to talk or meet, you have left the ball in his court. If he is interested, he will respond. If ... (read in full...)
My fiancee showed up when I was flirting a bit with my lesbian friend, what can I do now?
Q. I was at work when my friend (shes a lesbian and I also knew her since we both were 5) popped in to say happy brithday and to congardlate me getting merried (in 5 weeks). One thing lead to another and we started flirting a bit. When my fiance showed ...
A. 8 December 2008: Give her time to cool off and then talk to her about this. Explain that you didn't see the harm in it, since your friend isn't even attracted to men. Then hope she believes you and is willing to leave it at that. If she continues to make a huge deal ... (read in full...)
After listening to my manager's confession I'm so depressed, are all men cheaters like him?
Q. Hey friends! I am unmarried and working in a bank. I have good terms with my manager.He is a big flirt. I have seen many girls pleases him to get hike or promotion.He is married. One day i asked him that why you do all this. How can you touch so...
A. 8 December 2008: He's trying to justify and excuse his own amoral behavior by deceiving you into thinking that all men do this.
Not true. Don't believe him, and don't let this ruin your faith in men. You've found a scumbag, that's for sure, but not all men are ... (read in full...)
I just like to flirt and I think its fun being single.
Q. I really dont know what to do. Someone please help me. Okay so I have a boyfriend. I met this other guy and have been flirting with him (online) he seems really nice and he wants to hang out. He even told me he wants to hook up. I at least wanna ...
A. 8 December 2008: Also...if you have only met this other guy online and you do decide to meet up with him, please do it in a public place for your own safety.... (read in full...)
I just like to flirt and I think its fun being single.
Q. I really dont know what to do. Someone please help me. Okay so I have a boyfriend. I met this other guy and have been flirting with him (online) he seems really nice and he wants to hang out. He even told me he wants to hook up. I at least wanna ...
A. 8 December 2008: Unfortunately, you can't have your cake, eat it too, AND be fair to both of the boys involved. If you just want to flirt, you need to break things off with your boyfriend so you're not leading him on any longer. If you want to stay with, and be ... (read in full...)
Goodness he is my soul mate!!!!
Q. Okay i know for a fact that i am completely in love with my best friend. He is so perfect for me its not even funny. but a few months ago he was dating my ex-best friend. i am not friends with her at all anymore, but i still would feel bad. plus my ...
A. 7 December 2008: What doesn't your dad like about him? What didn't your former best friend like about him? It's rare for people to hate others with no reason at all. I know you're in love with this guy but you owe it to yourself to look at the whole picture here, ... (read in full...)
I just can't add it all up and put my finger on it.
Q. I have been seeing a man in his fifties for a few months. He is not your stereotypical 50-something. Quite young at heart and in his way of being and outlook - a bit artistic-looking in some ways too and a sensitive, creative type, especially with ...
A. 7 December 2008: It's hard to say whether he is gay, or just effeminate, or maybe he's a little perverted and REALLY enjoys looking at you "down there." How is he about cleanliness? Is he concerned with fashion? Does he initiate sex with you, or is it always you ... (read in full...)
Love, Friendship or nothing at all?!?!?!?!?
Q. I think a lot of us have been in the same situation, I'm in love with a girl I work with but she sees me as a friend. She told me that it is all that is going to be between us... My problem it feels like I’m being tortured each and every day must I ...
A. 7 December 2008: Sorry to hear this. Don't count on her changing her mind about being more than friends with you. If you can't handle seeing her on a friendly basis only, you are free to stop hanging out with her as friends. It sounds like you work with her and will ... (read in full...)
Curious about anal!
Q. I'm curious about anal but me and my girlfriend have joked about how weird it is before. Btw i am talking about her touching me there. How should i bring this up if at all? Thanks for the help :)...
A. 7 December 2008: If you and your GF ever discuss your sexual fantasies with one another, or if she ever expresses a wish to make you feel really good, "be the best sex you've ever had," or something to that effect...then would be a good time to approach this ... (read in full...)
Should I stay married even though I feel that some of the things that I need from marriage are not met?
Q. I suppose my internal conflict can be swayed with more encouragement. I met my ex online in a chat rooms 6 years ago. I eventually met him in person after a year, by which time we both hated to admit but were already in love. We distinctly met 3 ti...
A. 7 December 2008: It almost sounds like you married your current husband to get revenge on your ex in some way. No wonder you don't find the resulting marriage to be as fulfilling as it could be! See a counselor with your husband to try and work through the issues ... (read in full...)
14, pregnant and terrified!!!
Q. Well I'm 15 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I am sooo upset, I have found out that I am pregnant and I don't want my mum knowing because I am afraid she will think I am a slag. Please help what should I do ?...
A. 7 December 2008: Unfortunately, this is something you need to tell her about. You were mature enough to be sexually active...now it's time to be mature and face the adult consequences of making an adult decision.
She definitely won't be happy to hear about th... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex but don't get pregnant? What's wrong?
Q. Hi, I'm a bit worried here. Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for almost a year now and we have un-protected sex regualary... but my periods still come on time and each time I don't seem to get pregnant (when I don't take the morning ...
A. 7 December 2008: DiovanLestat gave you some great advice. I have to ask one more thing...is your boyfriend on the same page as you about trying to have a child? If not, it's not fair of you to trick him into becoming a father so early.
The morning-after pill is ... (read in full...)
Confused: receiving mixed signals, and don't know how to proceed...
Q. I'm currently in a confusing situation. I like a girl. She's wonderful: so many levels in one person is hard not to like. Sensitive, strong-willed, smart, happy, and at times all-out hyper, to name but a few. I've asked her out. Twice. On the fi...
A. 7 December 2008: Sounds like she would be a very lucky girl to have you. It sounds as if she genuinely likes you but is a little overwhelmed by things at the moment. You note your own reservations about dating your friend's ex; chances are she feels the same way. ... (read in full...)
Help with 6 pack of abs please!
Q. ok, I am a 17 year old male. I haven't really done much exercise but I am NOT overweight. I have good strength etc but I can't seem to get a 6 Cbs? Can somebody who has done an exercise and diet or are on 1 which is working please let me in...
A. 7 December 2008: To get the six-pack itself, I'd recommend push-ups, crunches, and an exercise my cross-country coaches always used to call "the plank" (don't know if there's another name for it.) Anyway, you hold a position similar to the push-up position, but put ... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife is seeing someone else?
Q. Hi my wife has been away with work on several occation in the past few months. our sex life had been ok but since she as been away she seem to be differant in areas of what she does. over the weekend she offered oral sex which i have always had...
A. 7 December 2008: Anything is possible, but I think if anything, her sex drive for you would have DECREASED if she is seeing someone else, i.e. she'd want sex less and have less enthusiasm for it. Maybe "looking good" as you put it has given a boost to her confidence ... (read in full...)
He's always staring in my direction, is it because he likes me?
Q. I like this guy but I don't know if he likes me back. I always catch him staring at me and looking in my direction and when I look towards him he is always smiling. Does he like me?...
A. 7 December 2008: That by itself is not enough to tell one way or the other, but it's surely a good sign. Start conversations with him. Get to know him on a friendly basis. If you help him to feel more comfortable around you, he's more likely to take a chance and ... (read in full...)
How to be/look hot? (As if that was possible...)
Q. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I'd like that the "beholder" liked me... it's a girl of the same age as I, we both have a lot in common despite she likes dark chocolate while my favourite is the white one. Anyway, we are ...
A. 7 December 2008: It sounds like she is pretty shallow, actually. Instead of trying to change yourself for someone who is only pretty on the outside, why not wait for a girl who loves you for yourself. I don't think this girl is that person, and unfortunately for ... (read in full...)
Wishing away the next 6 months until my ex gets back! HELP!
Q. I am feeling quite low at the moment as I am constantly thinking about my ex-boyfriend who has gone travelling for 6 months. Just before he went we started talking again after the split and actually got it on again. He has invited me to go and see ...
A. 7 December 2008: I think you are right to focus on yourself in his absence. I don't just mean going to the gym and such so that you can look pretty for him when he gets back. Do things that will make you happy and help take your mind off waiting, live your life and ... (read in full...)
After a drunk dial last night, I'm wondering if I should be worried.
Q. Alright so I'm wondering if I should be nervous about this or not. I've been going out with this girl for a bit over a month, and we're getting along ridiculously well. Anyways, yesterday she drunk dialed me and told me she had a couple things ...
A. 7 December 2008: If she was drunk when she called you then you can't necessarily take what she said at face value. I think you should bring these issues back up to her when she is sober and see what she has to say about it then. You might be nervous about doing so, ... (read in full...)
How do I approach the subject of having an open relationship with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm a guy in my early 30's and I've been with my boy friend for over 2 years, he is quite younger than me (24) I love him very much, I care for him and push him in his studies so all going well. The only thing is before meeting him I had a ve...
A. 7 December 2008: You can bring this up to him, but understand that the suggestion is probably going to hurt him, and you may even lose him if he considers commitment a high priority (which is a completely reasonable attitude for him to have, by the way). If being in ... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed that she teases me in front of her husband!
Q. hi again,I am back.. in the last recent days;I have been dating my neighbour aunt,we had sex too..I manged to delete the picture from the phone.. now we have become close,but two days back her husband returned from a business tour.. now she avoids m...
A. 7 December 2008: What would you like her to do in front of her husband? Throw herself at you? Come out and say the two of you have been cheating together? Of course she's going to tease you in front of her husband...she wants to make sure he has no clue she's ... (read in full...)
Did he try to hook up with my friend?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about a month and have been telling him all along I don't want a relationship but he's been trying to convince me that we should be together...it seems like it's moving toward that direction until the newest ...
A. 7 December 2008: Sounds like a little more than casual flirting. Unless you believe your friend is trying to break the two of you up for some reason, I'd believe her over him. Telling you probably wasn't easy for her; I'm betting she was concerned you might blame ... (read in full...)
I have no sex life with my husband because he's always tired, what to do?
Q. Im feeling really down in my marriage. I have no sex life with my husband because he's always tired and i have lost the intimacy that i used to have with him, how do i get that back? i dont know if i still love him? I want to feel the way i did ...
A. 7 December 2008: Please stop communication with this other man on the internet. It's definitely not going to help your current relationship. Where communication needs to be taking place is between you and your husband. What isn't working? When did it stop working, ... (read in full...)
How to prove I will never lie or cheat again as I found real love with her?
Q. hello, im having a problem with my girlfriend and its all my fault, since a year now that we started this relationship,i ve cheated on her and lied without knowing the reason why i did all this to her, though i lied because i dont want to lose her, ...
A. 7 December 2008: She may never trust you 100% again.
I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. She believed you before and you cheated and lied, there is no magic fix for this. All you can do is apologize to her and tell her what you have said here--or even show her... (read in full...)
Got my period late, then missed it the next month, I'm worried!
Q. ok so ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, we were pregnant once before but lost it. so now i think i may be pregnant again because i feel the exact same way i did when i was first pregnant, but a little confused because i think i conceived ...
A. 7 December 2008: If you haven't had sex since your last period it is not very likely that you are pregnant. However, as the other poster stated, you can put your mind at rest about this pretty quickly by going to your doctor and getting a test done. Good luck =]... (read in full...)
My parents hate her, my friends hate her, but I love her... what do I do??
Q. ok... here is the situation i have... I am completely in love with this girl i go to school with but i have dated her 6 times before in the past each one lasted about 5 months. Well we have been really good friends since we broke up about a year ...
A. 7 December 2008: You haven't said what your family and friends dislike about this girl, but it's hard to believe that they all just randomly hate her. Why did your relationship with her end the first 6 times? The people you love and trust in your life (family and ... (read in full...)
My daughter is ill and I am afraid I will lose my new job if I take care of her! What do I do?
Q. There's a very strong possibilty my 11 yr old daughter is going to be too ill to go to school on monday, might have to take her to the docs, we have been up since 3am, i think she has this chest infection, temperature, fluey type thing going round. ...
A. 7 December 2008: Be honest with your employer about the situation, and chin up. If you do two months of good work while on your probation it's highly unlikely that they will count one day (an emergency, at that!) against you. Good luck and hope your daughter gets ... (read in full...)
Why is she annoyed that I went out with a female friend? She does the same to me.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together just over 2 years. over thosses 2 years she has gone out with many male friends some has bothered me some hasnt. the other day i went out with a female friend and told her about it all. i went out with the ...
A. 7 December 2008: She probably has some jealousy issues. You say that sometimes her going out with male friends in the past bothered you...take what you felt then, and why, and you can probably assume that she feels similarly now. Reassure her there is nothing ... (read in full...)
What do I do in case he has feelings left for the ex?
Q. I think my boyfriend might leave me. I thought everything was ok between us, but I'm not sure if he's still in love with his ex. He says he loves me but why does he care so much about what happens to her. If he cares that much, then why isn't he ...
A. 7 December 2008: It's quite possible that he still has feelings for her, and if such is the case, only time will help him get over this. Whether you are willing to wait around while he sorts his feelings out, or not, is something only you can decide. Good luck =]... (read in full...)
My two best friends have fallen out with me, what can I do to win them back?
Q. This has been weighing down on me and I really can't take it any more.. me and my 2 best friends (I have more best friends than them.. but we were the closest) aren't friends any more.. they never treated me right, they're mean to me, and etc. I ...
A. 7 December 2008: It's natural to want closure after losing close friends or a significant other. But if these girls never treated you right and were mean to you, they are no friends. Be glad that their negativity is gone from your life, and cultivate closer ... (read in full...)
I feel like an un-wanted guest, what should I do?
Q. Help, my friend invited me and another friend to cape town. we had a great two weeks. on the way to the airport he persuaded me to stay for a few months and go traveling with him. This went down very badly with his girlfriend who was angry he never ...
A. 7 December 2008: Sorry to hear that your vacation turned into such a hassle for you! Well, the fare back will probably cost a fair amount no matter when you leave. if you are no longer enjoying your time there then don't stay, it will only frustrate you. It is not ... (read in full...)
We were just friends, now I don't have a clue!
Q. Hey. So here's the problem, I have the greatest friend in the world, just call him J. Well me and him have had so many great times together and I love him more than anyone in the world, seriously. Well all was alright but then one morning I woke up ...
A. 7 December 2008: Yes, he took advantage of you. And since he didn't respect your wishes with regards to remaining "friends only," I'm not sure he even deserves your friendship. In fact, I'm sure he doesn't. Friends do not take sexual advantage of other friends while ... (read in full...)
I became a teacher out of desperation but now I found my calling in life. Is it too late for me?
Q. In my late teens, and throughout my twenties, I struggled to find my calling, or what I wanted to do with my life. I want so much more than just to have a job that I put up with. I want to be SOMEBODY, and to have hopes, and dreams... a place. I...
A. 7 December 2008: I think you posted a similar question here before? Anyway, it's not too late at all for you to switch professions. As a candidate, you have far more to offer a professional or grad school than a 21- or 22-year-old who has done nothing but college ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should experiment?
Q. I'm 24, straight and I think i have a slight crush on another female colleague who is about my age and also straight. We work very closely together and we get along great, often having lunch together, sometimes just the two of us. I've found myself ...
A. 7 December 2008: You're a mature adult and as such you should feel free to explore your sexuality. But I don't think experimenting with your colleague is a good idea, for some of the same reasons that heterosexual relationships between coworkers aren't always a good ... (read in full...)
Too young to buy sex toys!
Q. Hi, i am 16 and in need of some help. My boyfriend and i have been talking about having sex together. We are both virgins and i am worried about the pain to come with losing my virginity. I decided that it would help if i was more ready when ...
A. 7 December 2008: I hate to say it but I don't think a sex toy is really going to help you in this regard. First time sex hurts almost no matter what, even if you don't have your hymen. What WILL help you become more ready when the time comes is plenty of foreplay ... (read in full...)
It is a true love with my student?
Q. Hi.. I am 24,working as computer lecturer in an institute. I am fallen in love with my student, age 17.. as well as she started to like me at initial stage.. she likes to have friendship with me. She and I talk over the phone and sends text mes...
A. 7 December 2008: She cares about you more than you think if she wants to wait until you both won't get in trouble over this relationship. It is not appropriate for you and she to be together while you are her teacher; once she graduates, that's a different story. To ... (read in full...)
My ex, who cheated on me, was cheated on, so should we have another go at it?
Q. I have been with this guy for almost 4 years on and off(since I was fourteen). the longest that we have ever been together is 2 years. i broke off with him last year june. i don't know what the real reason was for doing so either. it was just a ...
A. 6 December 2008: It's possible that a dose of his own medicine has caused this guy to reconsider fidelity, and if so, that's great. I'd be wary, though, for one simple reason: something was obviously lacking in your relationship before that led him to seek out ... (read in full...)
Feeling down and like I'll never meet Mr. Right...
Q. I feel like im never going to find my mr right, ive not as much had a kiss in months off any bloke let alone anything else. i really like this guy from my gym but am unsure as to whats going on, all started well with friendly teasing, then he went ...
A. 6 December 2008: I can't speak for others and I'm sure this is not the norm, but I can say that every single relationship I've been in started at a point in my life where I actively WASN'T looking for a guy. So what if Mr. Right hasn't turned out to be Mr. Right ... (read in full...)
Am I to blame for the loss of my friends?
Q. I'm wondering if I'm to blame for the loss of my friends. I'm in my thirties and I'm feeling kind of friendless after my recent break up. I know I neglected the few friends I had when I went into my last relationship. I'm trying to talk to them ...
A. 6 December 2008: The friends you put on the back burner, so to speak, during your last relationship probably recognized that they were on the back burner and didn't really appreciate it. It's hard to put much serious effort into cultivating a friendship with someone ... (read in full...)
My periods are irregular; I've discerned a band of coagulated blood. What could it have been?
Q. Im 14 Years Old And Get Really Weird Periods. They Come At Random Times, Are Sometimes Heavy, Last For A Few Weeks Then When They Go Away They Come Back Only About A Week Later! Once when i was under alot of stress a little bean shaped thing ca...
A. 6 December 2008: The bean-shaped thing is just a blood clot, and is natural if you are having heavy flow at that point in the month. No worries! It's just blood that would come out anyway, congealed together. Irregular periods are also normal for girls your ... (read in full...)
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