A
female
age
30-35,
*hrysais
writes:I have been with this guy for almost 4 years on and off(since I was fourteen). the longest that we have ever been together is 2 years. i broke off with him last year june. i don't know what the real reason was for doing so either. it was just a hunch that told me something was not right as he asked for a "break" after i came back from a two week holiday overseas. and when i did so, i didn't know that he was cheating on me. i only knew that he met a new girl. and found out who she was a week later. she turned out to be a collegue of mine which i worked with for about a month.(it was a part time job at the mall.) the first week i was really in living hell. i was still in "friendly" terms with him. during that time alot of things that he said to me really hurt me. he said that i was impulsive and drastic. i asked him back bcos i felt really lost without him. he told me he would come back to me when i changed. a few days later we had several arguments for about a week. during those arguments he even said that any guy that is with me is just for my body and doesnt really love me. finally, we sat down and decided we should ignore each other. i got used to seeing the girl n him together n not feeling any pain at all(i already forgave him at that point). this year in may, he came back to me. telling me that he finally understood all the pain and shit he caused me. he admitted that he cheated. and reason why he understood was cos she cheated on him. I've been hanging out with him for almost 2 months now and i still feel the same as i did when we were together. Should I give him a chance again? and if i do, how am i to trust him?? is this right?!?
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female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 It's possible that a dose of his own medicine has caused this guy to reconsider fidelity, and if so, that's great. I'd be wary, though, for one simple reason: something was obviously lacking in your relationship before that led him to seek out someone else to fulfill that. If you think you have identified that and/or fixed it, I'd say go ahead and give him a second chance. (And if you haven't, it might be a good time to sit down and level with each other and figure out what wasn't working before you move forward with him.) If the problem is still there though, and the two of you can't fix it, be prepared for him to be tempted to stray again. Your call. Good luck =]
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