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I found the perfect wedding dress, but it is white!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2012)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello! I am getting married next spring. Excitment!

The other day I went window shopping and I've seen the prettiest little (and very cheap) dress ever. But... it's white! I'm in my early 30s and I'm not a virgin anymore and all the people at my wedding (it's gonna be a small wedding with 10 very close friends) know that I've been living with a guy for a few years before meeting my current fiancé.

Is that weird that I wear a white dress with no veil? My fiancé says that in all the weddings he's been to the brides wore white and he knew they weren't virgins either. Should I just get the white dress then, or go for a more non-virginal colour?

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A male reader, Becker0109 United States +, writes (9 August 2012):

If YOU like it buy it. White is the traditional color but it's your day!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntGood luck and have a wonderful day and a wonderful life :)

Rock the dress!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much for your feedback! And you know what? I just went out and bought it! It looks awesome! Thank you all!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012):

Congratulations!!!!! As a photographer for 14 years, all the brides had on white and I know for sure some of them has children and never been married, a 39 year old women got married a few weeks ago has grown children and had on a white dress. It's not about what people think, it's your day so it's all about you.

I say get the white dress that you fell in love with, strut your stuff and have a wonderful day!!!!!!

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (8 August 2012):

Basschick agony auntI really don't think it matters anymore. I think it's all about what you feel like wearing how fabulous the dress is. I don't think anyone really follows the whole white for virgins, off white for non-virgins. Why advertise? Just buy the dress and have a beautiful wedding!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIf you love it, WEAR IT! I mean realistically... how many women are virgins on their wedding day? But I bet you 95% of them wouldn't bat an eye in wearing white!

I wore off-white myself, but only because the dress I found were off-white and perfect. The color was less important then "traditions concerning color" I would most likely have worn a red/blue/black dress if that's what my eye had caught :)

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A female reader, Shadow Rose United States +, writes (7 August 2012):

Shadow Rose agony auntWear it!

White is just one of those old wives tales.

Did you know, Queen Victoria was the first woman to wear white on her wedding? Before that, regardless of virginity, girls would just put on their best dress and get married.

So obviously it's not a very old tradition, and it's not what white was intentionally made to represent. So if you love that dress, do what countless women before Queen Victoria have done... Put on your best dress, and get married!

(I'm such a history buff, I jumped at the chance to mention something with history in it, haha)

And by the way, congratulations. I hope your wedding day will be spectacular!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (7 August 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou can always get the white dress, and dye brilliant red splotches on the front of it, to indicate that you are no longer a virgin!!!!

Geeeesh... has it come to this?????

Good luck... and congratulations on your nuptials...

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntCongratulations! I love what Just Gill wrote. Wear the white dress and have an amazing day x

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI think if it's your first wedding that white is just fine.

I'm getting married in October and it's sadly not my first wedding and there was no way I was looking bride like.... but if it was my first or second you bet I would!

WEAR that WHITE DRESS YOU LOVE!

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A female reader, Just Gill United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2012):

Just Gill agony auntWhite represents peace and happiness. You've found thee perfect dress for the perfect day of your life, and it symbolises purity in quality of love and Freedom from sin or guilt. It doesnt just mean virginity, the meaning of wedding values change through time. White wedding dresses no longer represent virginity but actually most people today see it as what i describe before hand. Marriage has changed and people are getting married later after living with a partner for several years, like your situation. The colour of your wedding dress doesnt matter it's the actual wedding itself.

congrates on the wedding!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012):

It doesn't matter anymore. All the weddings I have been to the bride wore white and I knew they weren't virgins. Nobody cares anymore. It's your day so wear whatever dress you want, and enjoy your day.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntI don't think anyone really cares what colour the bride wears anymore...red white or skyblue pink...

It's just one day, you'll still be married at the end of it so wear whatever you like :-)

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