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He says he doesn't want a girlfriend so why does he want to introduce me to his family?

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Question - (10 August 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *upidlover89 writes:

Hi, I have this guy who tells me he does not want a girlfriend and that I should not expect for him to eventually be my boyfriend. I get this, and am trying to decide what I want. However, on the next part Id thia conversation he had with me, he asked if I think of him or if I daydream about him, he also asked if I wanted to meet his sister or if I wanted to meet his dad to find out what kind of guy he is? Um I'm confused, I thought that was not an option since he was not planning to be serious ever with me. Please give me your opiniona on why you think he asked me that even know he just said there would be no relationship. Help please?

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (13 August 2012):

Hi. If you are interested in him, it would be nice for you to say yes to meeting his family.

And like you said, yes, it would seem to hint at your level of commitment to him - by the answer you give him.

If you like him enough, say yes.

It all begins from that point on.

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A female reader, cupidlover89 United States +, writes (11 August 2012):

cupidlover89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi, thank you guys for all of you're advice is was extremely helpful. I don't think I asked the question correctly though, he did not just invite me to meet his family he sort of asked if that would be something that I wanted or was interested in. Almost like he was wondering my level of commitment or seriousness with him. I feel like he was testing the waters.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'd ask him " Bob we aren't going to get serious so I don't see a need to meet your family... can you tell me why you feel it's important?"

and go from there.

sounds to me like he's not sure what he wants...

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A female reader, Just Gill United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2012):

Just Gill agony auntWell firstly for your own peace of mind ASK HIM! He possibly could have changed his mind once he got to know you a bit better. You mentioned your trying to figure out what you want. Why dont you concentriate on that. No point spending time in someone elses mind if your not sure about what you want from him. If you dont want to be his girlfriend then dont meet his family, if you would like the chance of being his girlfriend then see his family. If you ask him why he's wanting you to meet his family, is it as a friend? or girlfriend? Once you have your answer you can decided from there. See this an oppertunity to get to know him more, but if your not comfortable meeting the family explain to him your not ready. As for what he is thinking no one can answer that but him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012):

This story is abit incomplete. You say that this buddy of yours doesn't want a girlfriend which means you. But do you want him to be your boyfriend? You have'nt made that clear. You say you're still deciding what you want, but you obviously want him. Otherwise you would'nt have posted this question. It's just my hunch. I just need you to confirm it so that we can help you help your so-called buddy to grow a spine, be a man, take the lead & take posession of you as his woman.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (10 August 2012):

Hi there. Perhaps he's just testing the waters.

He could have said that, so you didn't become too keen right at the start, so he's taking it slowly to begin with.

He could have dated girls prior to you, who seemed to want to get serious right from the outset, and he doesn't want that to happen again.

I guess you could say he is protecting himself from getting hurt.

So that's why he said that he didn't want a girlfriend.

If he is asking you to meet his sister and his father, he obviously wants you to meet them, so if you say no to him, he might consider that to mean that you are not particularly interested in him.

It would seem to reflect that, if you think about it.

The more you like someone, the more you want to learn more about them and their life, and meeting family is one of those ways.

So by the mere mention of would you like to meet his sister and his father, proves he would like to include you in his life.

It sounds kind of positive, if you ask me.

And I am being completely honest with you when I say that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012):

i think he is not really sure of what he wants and does not want to make you hopeful and probably cling to him when he is not ready. i think just be nice to him, and show him that you have your own life as well, though not in a bad way. looks like he likes you but not ready for commitment. dont be his doormat or dance to his tune, he will take you for granted, will not respect and value you. just be completely mysterious, but nice. so that if he is interested in you he should respect you ecnough to come out in the open.

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