A
female
age
41-50,
*upid lover
writes:Hello,I am in a very confused state because of a man I am currently dating. We live in different cities. He is 40 (I am 30) and has recently divorced (seperated for 3 years). The relationship has been great and we are obviously crazy about each other. I had a very big event (a milestone in my career) last time I was in town where he lives and I was really excited about it but before I arrived in town for it he warned me that he was going to be very busy because he had just sold the house that he shared with his ex-wife and would be desperately house hunting because he had to be out in a few days.I said that was fine but when I arrived he was much busier than I had expected. On top of that his ex-wife decided to move the same week and kept leaving the kids with him at the last minute. I haven't met them yet so he kept leaving me to go be with me which I understood- he had no choice and he apologised.This conintued for the whole 2 weeks I was in town and i started to feel as though he didn't want to sspend time with me becuse he stopped apologising about having to run off.We ended up having a small argument over the phone (we don't yell). It was definately heated though and I got frustrated mainly because it was a huge week for me and I had been looking forward to it for a while and i felt like it meant nothing to him. I ended up hanging up on him which I regretted. We did not speak for the next 5 days while I was there- I did my own thing and then I booked a flight andd left town. I sent him a text letting him know that I was leaving.After I cooled down, I realised how selfish I had been. It was just terrible timing for him to be house hunting and taking care of his kids and for me to have the most important event in my career to date be in the same week. So I rang him and apologised on Saturday when I was in bed with flu. He seemed fine and we chatted for about 15 minutes. He asked me sweetly to call him the following day because he would just be unpacking boxes at his new house- I did and he didn't answer and he didn't call me back. He left me a text at 11pm saying that he left his phone in the car all day (definate lie). Then on Monday I sent him a text to say that I got his text and that I hope he has a good day at work. No reply. Tonight I called twice. No answer.This guy is usually always answers his phone when I call which is hardly ever because he always calls me.I have apologised so sincerely for behaving the way that I did and I really meant it. This is the first time we have had any kind of argument and he usually calls me every day or at least a text.Is it possible that he has changed his mind about me in general from one argument?Any opinions would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Basschick +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Couples who really care about each other don't break up over one fight. Even the happiest couples will have conflicts, miscommunications; be tired, grumpy, short fused, stressed, depressed but they don't call it quits just because they had one bad day. If he flies that easily I'd say he wasn't ready for a relationship and perhaps the fight made him see that. He is newly divorced. He has probably spent many nights fighting with his wife, as many marriaged do when they are falling apart. Perhaps your argment reminded him of something he's leaving behind and it made him realize it's too soon for him to be leaping into another relationship. I think more than anything he's a bit tapped out, coming out of his marriage and it's not so much what you did or said, but the reminder that he may not have much to give to anyone right now. Not you, not anyone. I know you will be disappointed but you need to leave him alone and see if he comes around on his own. If he doesn't don't beat yourself up. Just be glad things fell apart now rather than later when you are more in love. It would hurt much more. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Just Gill  +, writes (7 August 2012):
 How did you's two getting chatting in the first placce? start it back up again. You understand his situation, what it sounds like to me is that he had so much to juggle and he got a bit pissed off with what was going on. I completely understand your thought's and i think it was sweet that you apologied. Personally i think you shouldnt start a new relationship up when there is so much mess around from the last one. It may have been to soon from him and he has realised that. If you like him and you know he likes you, try starting again. See what the response is and if he still continues to ignore you then ask him why he is treating you this way.
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