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... Send *ayney Y a private message | | | *ayney Y's profile:I originally spied this site when I was looking for an answer on a personal question about something weird that happened to me, and subsequently became engrossed in other people's 'issues'. I love talking to people about the basics of life....family, romance, and emotional attachments, because that's pretty much all life is about. We all have hobbies, passions, etc, but it's the emotional stuff that makes us all tick along. I like connecting with other people on that level. Sometimes a complete stranger is the best person to talk to. |
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If a guy says he only wants to 'CHILL' with you and nothing else..what does this mean??
Q. If a guy says he only wants to 'CHILL' with you and nothing else..what does this mean?? I REALLY like this guy and was hoping for a relationship but he says he only wants to "chill for now"....
A. 13 August 2009: Well, for one thing it means he needs to get some sort of a clue as to how to communicate. "Chill" means to 'cool down' and I presume he doesn't want to climb into a fridge, so it sounds like what he really wants to say is, "I'd like to keep having ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else been in this kind of situation, please help me to understand?
Q. My ex boyfriend has been honeytrapped by a girl he had a fling with before he met me. He told her he didnt want the baby but she went ahead anyway. She knows nothing about me despite his continued feelings for me and the fact we were together th...
A. 9 August 2009: Yes, I have been in a very similar situtation. Six months into our relationship, (several years ago), my partners ex suddenly re-appeared with a prominent baby bump. They had broken up more than a year before, but she had become pregnant during one ... (read in full...)
Should I email him to check in after he broke up with me?
Q. Should I send him an email. He ended it with me about two weeks ago. I just want to know how he is? Where he is? Was the ending as difficult for him as it was for me? I don't know the REAL reason he ended it, the underlying reason. We loved each ...
A. 7 August 2009: I'd say no. He ended it, therefore it's best to wait for him to initiate any further contact. If he does, then he probably just wants to be friends. Unless you have bad arguments, the only reason people end relationships is that they don't want to ... (read in full...)
Stay in a sexless marraige or take a chance?
Q. I;m only in my early forties ,and my husband does not want to have any sexual contact with me due to some unclear psychological problems. I need sex, i don't believe in cheating, shoud I leave him? It is a tragedy for me, I never thought it will tur...
A. 7 August 2009: No, if you want and need affection and intimacy, then you have a right to go and find it. Staying with someone out of a sense of duty isn't noble or selfless, it's a stupid waste of your life. Seeking contentment isn't selfish, it's your right. Good ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for having a problem with this woman calling my husband all the time??
Q. Recently i found out my husband has a female friend who talks to on the phone and texts. One night i pretended to be him and texted her tha last text i sent was that i m going in my bed now before my wife starts to quarrel. next morning he is calli...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi,
No, you're not crazy. A spouse should never have exclusive or secret friendships with members of the opposite sex because it just creates suspicion and causes problems. It's sneaky and disrespectful towards your relationship. Good luck deal... (read in full...)
He's having major troubles moving on from his ex. What do I do?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for about a year now. We have a great relationship. We travel together, care for each other, everything seems fine, but underneath there is something haunting me. He is much older than me. I'm a 20 year old guy, and he ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there,
He thinks you're being selfish? OK, sometimes couples have domestic arrangements which involve joint finances, or they are still friends and don't want to rock the boat, however, when they become involved with someone new, it's time to m... (read in full...)
Roles reversed since our breakup: she's having the time of her life and I'm so unhappy!
Q. Alright so about a month ago I ended a relationship that I was very unhappy in. The girl didnt appreciate me, she lied a lot, and kinda just used me. While we were together lots of my friends said I should break up with her. Even some of her friends ...
A. 3 August 2009: Thing's will get better. If a lot of people advised you to get rid of her, then I'd be taking that on board, because it sounds like you weren't too happy when you were with her. Sometimes, when we have to end a relationship that we didn't really ... (read in full...)
Advice sought regarding a girl who has a partner!
Q. I write this seeking confirmation that what I am doing is right more than anything, but also to gauge opinion and see what other people think as well. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of something it’s easy to lose a sense of reality! I apologise ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there,
I'm a great believer that 'spoken-for' people don't even bother getting too chummy with other potential partners unless there's something fundamentally wrong in their current relationship. I think you're taking the right attitude by lett... (read in full...)
My sister's been very disrespectful and I resent my mother for her reaction!
Q. I dont even know where to start.....I'am worried that i might be heading for unhapinness for ever. ok so this is the deal. I am 22 with alot on my shoulders, not because i have to but because i choose to. i have 2 jobs. so this sat i came home very ...
A. 28 July 2009: Your sister sounds like a spiteful scumbag. No wonder her husband treats her badly, I can only imagine what he has to put up with. Can you afford to move out of home? If your mother stands by and allows this sort of behaviour to go on in her house, ... (read in full...)
I'm the Other Woman...How do I break away from this man?
Q. I need help! Help me get over this mm, I don’t like this relationship that I’m in, as good, great and as much as I love it.. I don’t want to be the other woman.. it hurts.. hurts like hell!!! So help me… how do I break away from this man! I’m ...
A. 28 July 2009: I'm going to presume he's married in my answer. First of all, happily married people don't have affairs. Second, you have to factor his dishonesty with his spouse into your feelings for him. Are you ok with his reasons for lying to his wife? Do you ... (read in full...)
Why no reply to my birthday text?
Q. an ex spends loads of time playing little games to get my attention, she cheated on me i walked away. It was hard but i never gave her any trouble. she suddenly thinks im seeing someone else (but im not)we eneded 18 month ago. Anyway i aim to be ...
A. 28 July 2009: Because she wants to be the one to get the last "no word" in. Do you want the interest of someone with the emotional level of a twelve year old? ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with cocaine?
Q. If someone spends £230 on cocaine a week would you say they have a problem? It started off as trying it on a night out and im spending atleast £230 a week on it, and i mainly do by myself. I dont really have a family to turn to, all i have is fr...
A. 23 July 2009: Umm, yes, you have a drug problem, quite a big one. In my experience coke is one of the worst drugs a person can get stuck into. It turns users into self-absorbed bores who lose touch with reality but think they're really cool. Medically, if you ... (read in full...)
The skype lies
Q. Hello guys and girls.Im writing a question about one thing that bothers me.When im chatting with the girls they say that they are going offline,but they are still online in the skype? I send hugs to them and they reply to me with hugs WTF is go...
A. 23 July 2009: Maybe they just want to have a chat with someone else without beig interrupted, or maybe you are just expecting too much. ... (read in full...)
Would you consider a woman who had casual sex with 5 guys in 6 months extreme behaviour?
Q. Would you consider a woman who had casual sex with 5 guys (all college friends) in 6 months extreme behavior or par for the course for a gal getting over a stale relationship? Before this stage she had only been with one guy for two years.(19-22 yrs ...
A. 21 July 2009: That's relatively few. It's always a dumb idea to probe into someone elses sexual past. If they offer the information, fine, but to ask anyone how many partners they've had indicates insecurity on the part of the asker, amongst other things. Not ... (read in full...)
Is my 43 y.o. boyfriend obsessed??
Q. Is my boyfriend obsessed?!?!? Ok. I think my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife's kids. (they aren't his kids, just hers). They dated for 2 months, got married, and he left the her after 2 weeks. (she was stealing meds from his mother and just...
A. 21 July 2009: It's bad that he say's he "hates" his ex. It would be better if he was indifferent to her. Keeping in contact with her kids is one thing, but being a big part of their lives is another. It sounds as though he may be using them to stay in his ex's ... (read in full...)
Took a pregnancy test and it came back negative....could I still be pregnant?
Q. well I'm 14 and I had sex about a month ago and I think I may be pregnant..I didn't really want to do it with him..Well if I am I refuse to tell my dad..I want to have an abortion if this is the case..but I can't trust anybody!! Geez this is ...
A. 20 July 2009: Get another test kit ASAP, (and make sure you do as it says and use urine from the first pee you take in the morning), if it comes back negative again, I think you can assume you're safe. Because you bled for a day, you probably won't get another ... (read in full...)
Eating disorder: Is this what I'm getting better for?
Q. Hi everyone. This is my first article, so hopefully it will be okay! This article is about anorexia. Yes, I have an eating disorder. I am doing really well with the recovery process, but it still gets difficult at times. I got thinking a while...
A. 18 July 2009: Hi Sam,
Thanks for posting this article, it took a lot of guts. I'm very interested because my boyfriend's daughter has anorexia and she has sufered with it for almost ten years. She has organ damage from it and teeth problems, etc, so she is stuc... (read in full...)
Husbands vacations with ex-wife and adult children
Q. My husband is going on a camping vacation with his exwife and some of his adult children. He kept it secret from me untill recently when he had to admit it because of buying a airline ticket. She is not bringing her husband and he asked me to go ...
A. 17 July 2009: Er, no, you have every right to be bothered. He chose to end his first marriage, and that's where it stops, his kids are grown up, and he doesn't have to do things to please them any longer. Where does he get off sneaking around behind your back? ... (read in full...)
I'm desperate to get her back but I don't know how to play it!
Q. I have recently split up with girl of 3 months a couple of weeks ago - it ended on a really stupid note, basically a couple of arguments that got out of hand. I'm having trouble deciding whether she still likes me or not though - the only contact i ...
A. 17 July 2009: Umm, did you do something that pissed her off? If she wasn't interested she wouldn't be visiting your friend when your car's outside, or hanging out the window with her 'phone glued to her ear pretending to be busy with her social life. I would be ... (read in full...)
One night stand with Lothario leads to pregnancy!
Q. I went on a girls night out a few weeks ago, had a good time, had fun, but unfortunately I couldn't resist the advances of a good-looking Lothario, and I slept with him. I didn't plan to sleep with him but was under the influence at the time. A se...
A. 17 July 2009: Wow, you have one hell of a nice, decent, and understanding guy for a husband! Do you want to have another guy's baby when you have such a fantastic man as a partner? Are you sure it's not your husbands, is there any way that you can check DNA ... (read in full...)
Do you know what love is?
Q. Hi this isn't really a help question more i want peoples opinions on what they think the definition of love is? my definition is someone you love and care for is always there for no matter the circumstances someone you can never stop thinking ab...
A. 17 July 2009: My definition of love is.......when you would rather take a blow for someone than have them take it themselves, but if they do take a blow, you feel it with them and don't stop worrying about it until they do.
But, if you mean "in love", that... (read in full...)
My ex has a new GF but we still have sex. Should I keep trying?
Q. My ex and i broke up 4 months ago. Even though we broke up, the sex hasn't stopped. He has moved on and it kills me. Because we still talk and have sex I'm still attached. I still love him and want to be with him. He tells me he still cares but he ...
A. 17 July 2009: Grrrr! Men who do this aren't good for you or their new girlfriend. Of course he tells you the sex means something to him, it means he gets a healthy sex life! Think about how his new girlfriend would feel if she realised how duplicitous he is. ... (read in full...)
Is it a compliment to be told I remind him of his mother or was it a sign he isnt really into me?
Q. I met a man online and we hit it off wonderfully in person. We have a lot in common, are both freedom loving and yet value the friendship and human touch. But, he made a comment and I'm not sure how to take it. He kept staring at me over dinner and ...
A. 17 July 2009: It's a compliment! If he adored his mum, it's one of the best compliments you'll ever get from a guy! Best of luck to you with the relationship, I hope you live happily ever after. :) ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend is charging me with vandalism!
Q. Long story short, my bf cheated on me. i didnt know how to deal with this, ive been upset for the last two weeks so in a drunken rage i took red spray paint to his door (he has a door that leads outside) and painted CHEATER on it really big it felt ...
A. 17 July 2009: Hi there, First of all, you are under the legal drinking age according to Canadian law, so there is an issue for a start. Who supplied you with the alcohol? With regard to your mother being angry, maybe she should start to be a bit more responsi... (read in full...)
Took a pregnancy test and it came back negative....could I still be pregnant?
Q. well I'm 14 and I had sex about a month ago and I think I may be pregnant..I didn't really want to do it with him..Well if I am I refuse to tell my dad..I want to have an abortion if this is the case..but I can't trust anybody!! Geez this is ...
A. 17 July 2009: Sometimes stress can make a period late. If you're getting period pains I would guess that you're not pregnant and that stress is stopping it from coming. Maybe get another test kit and do it again. Just so you know next time, the most fertile time ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a married man and now I'm worried his wife will confront me at work!
Q. Hello, Iv got a problem, I slept with a married man now things are kinda getting freaky, I slept with him a couple times, i work very closely with him, i called it off after he told me that he "loved me" His wife became suspicious (during ...
A. 17 July 2009: Yep, you've made a silly mistake, but you've learned something from it. And you're not the one who's married, he is. If she confronts you, just keep your dignity by apologising for the call and acknowledging that you did a silly thing, but leave it ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I caught her boyfriend cheating? I don't want her to lose her virginity to him!
Q. I saw my friend's boyfriend cheat on her at this party that my boyfriend was hosting at his place (he lives on his own). She was looking for him cause he told her needed to a phone call half an hour ago. Anyway she asked me and my boyfriend if we ...
A. 17 July 2009: Yes, tell her. You are HER friend, not his. Loyalty is part of the glue that makes for true friendships, and they're not all that easy to come by. if you don't tell her, and she "goes all the way" and then finds out later what a sleaze bag he is, ... (read in full...)
Is my husband cheating?
Q. Hello all.I would like to get feedback from both men and women on this one. I am in a marriage crisis right now and at this point, I am leaning towards a seperation. My husband of 10 years looks at porn all the time. One day he left a porn clip on ...
A. 17 July 2009: Looking at porn is a normal guy thing, but doing it constantly and allowing your spouse, (and your daughter!), to know about it is just degrading. People who threaten to walk out when they're confronted about their unfair actions are usually guilty ... (read in full...)
I think I am a giant breasted ogre
Q. my friends always told i was pretty and i believed them. A few other people also told me i was pretty, most people say i'm okay.On the pretty scale i was rated a 3 but i didn't care. But then people were laughing at my face and my friends have ...
A. 17 July 2009: Looks mean nothing in the big scheme of things. My favourite boyfriend was a redhead with a face like a smacked arse, but he had the best personality, and if he hadn't suddenly gone mad and become a Jehovas Witness I would have married him. On the ... (read in full...)
Worried about my new life in Oz....
Q. Hi - I am due to move out to Oz to be with my boyfriend (he's 33 I'm 37) soon but he is cricket obsessed. I know he has always been really into playing it and there is no way I would get in the way of that in essence (he played since an early age ...
A. 16 July 2009: Hi,
Your boyfriend is right about Australian men being obsessed with sport, not all, but most. You shouldn't worry too much about being left alone though because in a lot of sporting clubs the partners are very much included in the social aspe... (read in full...)
I said I didn't want kids; she said no problem; now she says she's pregnant
Q. i'm a 52 y/o and i met this young lady who is 31. we hit it off from the start. i told her that i've been married for quite some time and divorced ten yrs, have three grown childrens and whatnot and that i'm not interested in having anymore. she ...
A. 16 July 2009: It's a rather low thing to do to man of any age, the old "trap 'em with a baby" routine, but it's how a lot of women go about latching on to a man. There is probably no escape from financially supporting the child, depends what country you reside ... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay in a marriage like this?
Q. ......i need help finding someone to talk to about my problems! question?..why would a man want to stay married to a woman he has no sex with, does everything for...but is never around or spend time with his wife..of 20..years?...
A. 16 July 2009: Because he's too afraid to move on in life? Because it's habit? Because he's found a mistress who puts up with his selfishness? Because he's afraid the wife will take him to the cleaners financially? There could be one or more reasons. But staying ... (read in full...)
I'm so angry at myself after falling for a womanizers lies
Q. I have been struck by the womanizers arrow. I am so pinned up against the wall I feel my whole mind has been taken hostage. I am so angry at myself! Were both married. Obviously he led me to believe he was the victim of no sex in his marriage ...
A. 15 July 2009: I would ask myself why I was having an affair in the first place. Sounds like you don't have a good marriage and the last thing you need is to get involved with another person who makes you unhappy. Can you do anything about your marriage? If not, ... (read in full...)
I have a lazy bf and pay for everything HELP!
Q. My boyfriend has no job, no money and won't make an effort to even try to get a job. He'd rather smoke pot, I take us out everywhere we go.. I pay! Im tired of it.. How do I convince him to get a job?... I mean he loves me and is there for me but I ...
A. 15 July 2009: Agh! Real men dont let girls pay their way! And potheads dont love anyone as much as they love pot. I'd be giving him the word about quitting the pot smoking if he wants to stay with you, and then let him make the choice. ... (read in full...)
Should I just be happy with friends with benefits?
Q. I am head over heels for this amazing guy who shares the same feelings towards me, next step would be to just get together right? Wrong, he wants to sort through the commitments he already has before taking on another. Now we are friends with ...
A. 15 July 2009: How convenient for him to have such a good friend who tolerates him making the rules. He is making excuses. If he wanted to be with you, no 'other commitments' would stand in the way. You deserve someone who cares about your feelings and returns ... (read in full...)
I need closure, should I write him a letter?
Q. I wrote a post on here yesterday about my boyfriend cheating on me. I'm still extremely hurt by this as it is all new and fresh. He won't take my phone calls because he is so incredibly angry that I ended things with him. I guess he expected ...
A. 15 July 2009: I would wait a few weeks until you're not so upset, and then if you still feel like unburdening yourself, go ahead. Or write the letter but just keep it for yourself. When someone behaves like a creep, it's sometimes best to just take their actions ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 12 years, WHY?
Q. My husband does not want to have sex. I am not unattractive, active and in very good shape for my age. We have not had sex in 12 years. When I ask him why he says he will try but never does. If he has a problem with ED would he tell me? If he does ...
A. 15 July 2009: Hmm, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but that's a really bad sign! If he's not suffering from depression, or any other illness which affects sex drive, and he doesn't have ED, I would be thinking the worst. Does he spend much time away from ... (read in full...)
My dream of being a model is shattered and I'm depressed!
Q. ive just turned 26 and feel like im in a rut. I work at a hospital in administration and the job is well paid but very mundane although it has a lot of reponsibilities and is quite a respectful job. My dream though is to be a model. I have tried to ...
A. 15 July 2009: Your job in the hospital may be mundane, but even if you were just the hospital janitor you'd be contributing a lot more to the community and society than you would if you were a model. I know that the glam life seems appealing to young women, but ... (read in full...)
Why am I thinking of a future with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for many years and now have a child but do not live together. He makes me feel incompetent as he has never eaten with us or my cooking. He is a vegetarian and we eat meat. I have no idea of the types of food he likes ...
A. 15 July 2009: Hi,
If you haven't been intimate for over a year, he hasn't booked his holiday, and he wont even sit and have a meal with you, I'd be thinking about moving on if I were you. I am a vegetarian, and believe me, it does not stop you from taking part... (read in full...)
Long and complicated affair with my bro-in-laws wife has left me so confused..
Q. I am a sad old man, please help me to solve my problems. I have sex with the wife of my brother in law,we have sex at her age of 36 and me 40yrs old,in year 2000.we have sex in the time when my wife and kids back home to my mother in law at 300km aw...
A. 14 July 2009: Find out if she feels the same way and then plan what you're going to do. In this day and age there is no really good reason why two people who love each other should be apart. ... (read in full...)
My best friends BF has been cracking onto me, what to do?
Q. I love my boyfriend. I love my bff as well, but her boyfriend kissed me. He also flirts with me when my bff and my boyfriend aren't around. He's always touching me and trying to hug me. I want to tell my boyfriend, but I'm too afraid that he'll ...
A. 14 July 2009: What a sleaze. Maybe bring it up in front of everyone, and start off by telling both your boyfriend and your best friend what Mr Sleazy said about them not believing you over him. If they blame you for his behaviour then they're not very good ... (read in full...)
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