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... Send *ason32477 a private message | | | *ason32477's profile:I like to think of myself as an open minded individual.I believe that trust is the most important aspect to any relationship.
Love:1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.2.attraction based on sexual desire.3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.4. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.5. the fatherly concern of God for humankind.
We each have it within ourselves to love whomever we choose to open our hearts to.As such love is among the least important qualities in a real working relationship.
Trust,communication,happiness,friendship,kindness,compassion,
affection,loyalty,warmth,understanding,commitment,respect.
If you have these things you have love even if your eyes are not open to it.It is equally possible to not have these things and still have love.Love is a powerful emotion and can make us do many things that are not healthy for us.
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Men: When is a women being cold?
Q. guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...
A. 20 July 2009: I`m sorry but honestly I would be thinking the same thing.... (read in full...)
Why'd she make a sexual move and then say she only likes me as a friend?
Q. ryt ive been friends with this girl 4 over 2 years and recently ive started to like her. a few weeks ago she came to my house to watch a film, we were in bed cuddling and she kept stroakin my arm n holding my hand, she also put my hand on her boob...
A. 20 July 2009: Girls like guys that know what they want.She made a move and you didn`t react to it in the way she had anticipated.At this point you can try to explain to her and that your still new to the dating game and how nervous you were .She more than likely ... (read in full...)
He held my hand, then he didn't. What should I do about it?
Q. I went to a movie with this guy and at the very end we held hands. The next night me and my friend went to his house and watched a movie. I sat next to him but he never held my hand...It was kinda awkward. I like him alot but i dont know what i s...
A. 19 July 2009: The situation was probably just as awkward for him.He was probably embarrassed to display affection in front of others. Next time you talk to him bring it up that you would have like to have held his hand.He will probably say that he did to , and ... (read in full...)
Do I ride out this break and hope my boyfriend will stop being so smothering?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 6 months. I do really care for him, yet we've had problems in the relationship because he's too smothering. I'm very independant and don't want to be "mothered" by a boyfriend, which is what he tries to do. We've had...
A. 19 July 2009: This is something you need to decide for yourself.On one hand I think your bf deserves another chance.One the other you may be able to find greater happiness somewhere else.You need to think long and hard on this before you decide.If you can`t ... (read in full...)
I left my hubby but the other guy doesn't want me unless he is drunk, what can I do?
Q. Hi guys, I would really appreciate some help with a relationship problem. I recently left my husband after getting drunk and hooking up with my best friend. Basically, I couldn't stand the thought of lying to my husband every day, and feel l...
A. 19 July 2009: My original advise still stands.But I would suggest you not doing things where you would see yourself as the scumbag.There are better ways to end things if you really feel like the relationship is hopeless.... (read in full...)
Who do you think is right in this situation?
Q. Hey everybody I got this long distance relationship mess here:) I met this girl online and we hit it off. She is in different neighboring country. Not crazy love or anything, but mutual interest and feelings that we like each other. Long ...
A. 19 July 2009: Its hard to say.How long have you two been talking? When did she actually sleep with him?If she slept with him prior to knowing you was coming then it would be a lot easier to forgive.If it was after than she doesn`t seam to be that interested in ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him that I like him too?
Q. i have a crush on this guy. just that other night, we were talking online. i couldnt hear him very well so i told him to call me. after we talked for a little while,we atated talking about my bff. i asked him why hi cared so much a bout my bff. i...
A. 19 July 2009: If you like him then yes let him know,but I would suggest letting him ask you out.... (read in full...)
Should I keep having phone sex with him?
Q. Hey its mi again well I got another problem my“friend” says he will wait but we had to keep haveing phone sex...... idk if we should cause im kinda getting boerd.... so I told him meybe.....wat do u guys think should I at least keep haveing phone ...
A. 19 July 2009: No one can really answer this question for you.It is something you need to explore and find the answer for yourself.I will mention I don`t think it`s a good idea because I feel your to young to have any kind of sex.Including phone sex.And it gives ... (read in full...)
Should I apologise to her parents?
Q. I am having a problem that my girlfriends parents have noticed that I have given her a love bite on her neck and on her chest. She has also done the same to me, both of our parents are now annoyed and have forbid us from seeing each other out side ...
A. 19 July 2009: I`m afraid to say that I don`t think apologizing will help you.If you can`t get you own parents to understand than you have no hope of getting hers to.That situation would only be awkward and uncomfortable and you would not gain anything out of ... (read in full...)
His family really doesn't make an effort to talk to me and I'm shy!
Q. Im scared my bf is going to break up with me. Ive met his family twice and I am pretty shy around them. I dont really say much, I'll say hi how are you and smile etc, and Ill talk to them if they ask me a question etc. However I am not good at ...
A. 19 July 2009: Your bf`s family sounds a lot like mine and very similar to how they react with the gf`s I`ve had.Lately that has caused a lot of strife and at the moment I`m not on speaking terms with most of them.(there are other issues involved as well ... (read in full...)
I've given up so much for him but he lies to me!
Q. hi guys. i thought this would be a good way to get things of my chest seeing as i dont really tell people my problems. im 16 and im going out with a boy whos 21. i know you are probaly all thinking about the age differrence. i dont know what you...
A. 19 July 2009: I don`t see an issue with your ages as long as its not against the law there.I do see a major issue with his total lack of respect for you.I can clearly see that you would be so much better without him.Your best bet is to push him out of your life ... (read in full...)
We've been arguing non stop and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi everyone! I've been with my fiance for 6 1/2 years and we have a 4 1/2 month old baby. As of late we've been arguing non stop and I just don't know what to do anymore. We are both stressed since we barely get enough sleep. Any little thing will ...
A. 19 July 2009: WOW! What great advice from Country Woman. Yes defiantly give your relationship every chance you can.Your husband is inflicting serious damage upon your relationship by his dishonesty.Even if his lies are small ones.Try talking to him about it.Try ... (read in full...)
Should I make a move or just be content to leave things?
Q. Hey all, So I've been friends with this girl for over 2 years and we've both been through boyfriends and girlfriends while being friends. We work together and we talk a lot and people have wondered if we have been together, are going out, or wh...
A. 19 July 2009: I think you should just try asking her out on a date,and just try to spend a little more time with her socially.If that starts to work out then you can try explaining your feelings.But for now just take things slow and let her get comfortable with ... (read in full...)
Why'd she make a sexual move and then say she only likes me as a friend?
Q. ryt ive been friends with this girl 4 over 2 years and recently ive started to like her. a few weeks ago she came to my house to watch a film, we were in bed cuddling and she kept stroakin my arm n holding my hand, she also put my hand on her boob...
A. 19 July 2009: Well she is defiantly attracted to you so don`t give up yet if you really hold an interest.She is young and confused as to what she wants,or may just not want anything serious at this time.It`s hard to say for sure what she feels.There is not much ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: This issue has been on my mind sense I first read it.And with the mixed answers given I did what I should have done from the beginning.I researched, and discovered that I was wrong.I apologize for my mistake.I hope the sites I found will help you as ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: http://www.smith.edu/sao/sexualassaultresources/whenafriend.php
http://www.ucsd.edu/current-students/student-life/health-safety/campus-safety/personal/if-your-friend-is-raped.html
http://www.tu... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: Ok Cerberus.I admit to knowing nothing of the victim.My knowledge on this comes from the other end of the spectrum after spending six years and some change in prison.So yes telling may and probably will ruin the friendship.That is why talking is ... (read in full...)
How to make myself more loose?
Q. I am really tight in my vagina. I really need to loosen up before sex but i don't want the other guy to know how tight i am. How do i make myself more loose? ...
A. 18 July 2009: Umm sweet heart,as a guy we generally prefer tighter.Why is it your wanting to loosen up?So it should not be a matter of getting loose but maybe properly lubricated?And good foreplay should achieve that.If not there is always store bought.And if ... (read in full...)
Is my friend being brainwashed?
Q. My best friend since childhood got married while we were in college. We slowly drifted apart since then. Recently we got back in touch. I found out she has six kids. And she's pregnant with one more! Now I'm not one to judge lifestyle, but t...
A. 18 July 2009: People change over time.Are you still the same girl that you were when you were 6? 12? 20? Your friend has just changed due to events in her life. There was no brain washing.Marriage changes a person.So does having kids.And countless other ... (read in full...)
I left my hubby but the other guy doesn't want me unless he is drunk, what can I do?
Q. Hi guys, I would really appreciate some help with a relationship problem. I recently left my husband after getting drunk and hooking up with my best friend. Basically, I couldn't stand the thought of lying to my husband every day, and feel l...
A. 18 July 2009: As a strong believer in marriage I would suggest a talk with your husband and try to repair the damage before you make it any worse than it already is.If you can work this option then its in everyone's beast interest if you give your friend the ... (read in full...)
I didn't feel 'that' spark, what shall I do?
Q. hiia x i got told that if your really like some one , then you feel a "spark" when you kiss your boyfriend and well i felt nothing ! what shall i do ?? is this true ?? do you really feel a spark ?? thanks x laura :)...
A. 18 July 2009: lol . I have never in my life felt an actual spark in/on my mouth from a kiss.A kiss is meant as a pleasant way to share affection.And as such it should be enjoyable.I think the "spark" you are referring to is simply getting caught up in the mix of ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: To reiterate.The police NEED to be notified.This doesn`t mean that anyone she knows has to know.You should talk to her and explain what has to be done and why.Try to convince her to do the right thing.I know I would.I would do every thing in my ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: I don`t see how anyone can not think to tell someone.I understand that it would be another betrayal to your friend.But it`s for the greater good and serves two purposes.First this guy is still out there.Rape is not an accidental thing.It is a ... (read in full...)
Real love? How do you know?
Q. How do you know if you are in love?...
A. 18 July 2009: Love is a great and powerful emotion.And I agree with Felisha.Love is a choice.If someone makes you happy, treats you right, and your able to put your trust in them eventually you will come to realize that you love them.... (read in full...)
Without oral sex, how does a girl satisfy a boy?
Q. How does a female satisfy a male without sex or performing oral sex?...
A. 18 July 2009: Umm if he is demanding that you satisfy him then hes not worth having.Don`t worry about your partners needs in this regard till your ready.Sex is just sex and it is not needed to have a meaningful relationship.It just sounds to me like you have a ... (read in full...)
Venting relationship troubles
Q. Where to start? I am with this girl and she is 8 weeks pregnant with my child.She lives almost 2 hours away and neither of us has transportation at the moment.I broke up with her the morning of the 4th because she wanted to go home.I don`t have ...
A. 18 July 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-pregnant-girlfriend-is-way-too-flirtatious-any.html... (read in full...)
I like guys who look more feminine. Is this normal?
Q. Is it normal for a girl like me to be attracted to androgynous guys? (Like Johnny Depp or David Bowie) I'm 100% straight, but I just have this fetish for guys that are kind of feminine. Is that normal for a woman?...
A. 17 July 2009: There is no such thing as normal.Just be yourself.It doesn`t matter what your attracted to as long as your comfortable with it.... (read in full...)
How do you forgive and forget the lies and deceit?
Q. Two years ago my husband had an affair and ended it. The affair lasted about eight months. I didn't know about the affair, but I was suspicious about his whereabouts during that period. Against my better intuition, I chose to trust my husband at the ...
A. 17 July 2009: I could forgive an act of betrayal such as cheating,but not when it also involves lies.You are a very strong woman to have made it this far in your relationship and I think your husband has a lot of nerve to think of ending things because of your ... (read in full...)
Any tips to make me more comfortable during sex?
Q. I know a lot about sex and im been sexually active just havent had intercourse i came close a few times.But im just worried about my body being exposed and my friends think im the bravest and the wildest but its like when it come to focusing on just ...
A. 17 July 2009: Another possible solution is to turn the lights out.There have been many occasions where my partner was uncomfortable with her body during sex.And doing it in the dark seamed to help them.All though I personally didn`t like the idea I always ... (read in full...)
Do you know what love is?
Q. Hi this isn't really a help question more i want peoples opinions on what they think the definition of love is? my definition is someone you love and care for is always there for no matter the circumstances someone you can never stop thinking ab...
A. 17 July 2009: Love is what you want love to be.Love is the blazing fire which ignites the soul.The power to drive people mad.The spark of divinity that breeds creation. Ultimately though love is emotion unique to the person feeling it. Love:1... (read in full...)
One night stand with Lothario leads to pregnancy!
Q. I went on a girls night out a few weeks ago, had a good time, had fun, but unfortunately I couldn't resist the advances of a good-looking Lothario, and I slept with him. I didn't plan to sleep with him but was under the influence at the time. A se...
A. 17 July 2009: Relax.Not everyone will dump you just because you made an error of judgment.If I was your husband I would probably react in a similar manner.Why? Because you were honest enough to tell the truth,and I know from my past that we are all capable of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 17 July 2009: After reading what you have said and Holmar has said I think her assessment was pretty accurate.Your latest post changes the scene dramatically from the way I originally played it out in my mind.The issue at hand is no longer about what happened.At ... (read in full...)
Would this be considered mentally cheating?
Q. I've been with an ex co-worker of mine for three months now. I do care about him but I'm pretty sure I don't love him... Anyhow, about two months ago, my ex from when I was 15 to 19 somehow got a hold of my new email address and, well, he emailed...
A. 17 July 2009: Going threw my answers for the day I find this is the one I am Least happy about.So I`m gonna give it a second shot. First off your ex is an ex for a reason even if you can`t remember what that reason is. Second I would like to mention t... (read in full...)
I don't love him
Q. help! okay so I just started dating this guy i met on facebook and he told me that he really love me, but i just realized i dont love him back. what should i do? I want to break up with him but I dont know how to cause I dont want to hurt him. He'...
A. 17 July 2009: When I first read this I was going to say something like "you just need to tell him how you feel,there is no painless way to dump someone"
Then I read the first to answers you received and I feel that its a good thing I`m not the only one who has ... (read in full...)
We need each other, but our parents are morbidly trying to separate us
Q. I need Help..I dont want to be criticized i just want help.I just had a miscarriage(i was 5 weeks preg) im 15 years old my boyfriend is almost 17.My parents went completely crazy on me even tho they knew i was not a virgin when i got with him. my ...
A. 17 July 2009: I`m sorry to say but your probably stuck at the moment. Running away should not be an option.If you feel your problem is that bad I would suggest contacting Human/child resources, and explain your situation to them.Having to leave the door open to ... (read in full...)
I am insecure and paranoid that she would leave me for someone better
Q. hi, recently my girlfriend and i have been talkin and i learned she was still physically attracted 2 him..as he is her usuall type...tall head full of hair 6 pack etc....while i am short around 5 6 and built but stocky ...i am kind of feeling a ...
A. 17 July 2009: I wouldn`t worry to much into this.It was untactful of her to tell you this but it really doesn`t mean anything.Be honest with yourself.Is your gf the only girl you find attractive?... (read in full...)
Is my husband cheating?
Q. Hello all.I would like to get feedback from both men and women on this one. I am in a marriage crisis right now and at this point, I am leaning towards a seperation. My husband of 10 years looks at porn all the time. One day he left a porn clip on ...
A. 17 July 2009: My take on this.
The cell phone issue may have been porn that he felt was embarrassing.Bestiality/gay sex being possible examples.Do I believe it was porn?Not for a second.
The email issue is to weak to support your claim.If this was all you ... (read in full...)
Men: When is a women being cold?
Q. guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...
A. 17 July 2009: Long distance relationships won`t hold up forever.Have you approached the subject of something more serious?How willing would you or he be to moving?If your not talking on a daily basis I wouldn`t suggest approaching the subject yet.Just put as much ... (read in full...)
What do you do when your man prefers porn over you?
Q. I'm in my 40's and still get compliments from 20yr. old guys!..but my man prefers porn over me? ive tried everything i'm willing to do for him..but he still does this..we have a child together.. and i want to be a family..but it hurts to know..that ...
A. 17 July 2009: Umm is that normal? Thats where I`m at as well so I would have to say yes.The only sight I use is X-match,(an affiliate off friend finder)its live and its free.I don`t communicate with these girls in anyway.My current gf doesn`t know about this ... (read in full...)
Should I be burning bridges? Or be Mr Complacent?
Q. I didn't have any enemies in high school. Things stayed that way in university but over the past 4 years of my life I've started burning some bridges. This was unthinkable when I was younger but now there are some people that are simply sources o...
A. 17 July 2009: It`s not good to sever ties completely in most cases.That doesn`t mean you have to be buddy buddy with everyone. Just be yourself and it will all come naturally to you.If someone is being a leech pull them off and dump them in some salt.If there ... (read in full...)
Teaching is my greatest love but I'm scared Ill screw up
Q. Hi I realize this is not the time to be complaining about having a job. I'm extremely grateful that I was just offered a position for September. I am just out of college and the job is as a teacher, what I trained to do. The problem is almost every ...
A. 17 July 2009: I don`t know if I can help but I`ll offer this. Its natural to feel fear when confronted with new things whatever they may be.Be confident in your ability.There must be a reason YOU were chosen for the position.Do what you have trained to do and ... (read in full...)
Why he reacts like that when other guys flirt with me?
Q. A guy at work, he likes to flirt with me and seems to hit on me sometimes, he looks at me and likes to be near me and stuff. But, I´ve notice that when other guys from work tease me out and play jokes on me he keeps quite and only smile but no like ...
A. 17 July 2009: Is it not obvious? He wants to be more than your friend.He`s a little shy is all and in his eyes you might be the woman of his dreams.He doesn`t know how to handle the other teasing you so he smiles and acts like he`s cool with it but there is a ... (read in full...)
Should I contact him after so many years?
Q. What should be the best way to get in contact with a lost friend after six years of absence? I was romantically involved (non sexual way) with one of my college professors. At that time he was on his fourties and I want on my twenties. Although the ...
A. 17 July 2009: Well it certainly can`t hurt to try.Don`t hit him with everything all at once, but do call him and open a line of communication.See where that takes you.Tell him a little about where your life has gone.Give him your # , email whatever and hope he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 17 July 2009: I have had sex with girl friends while they slept a few times, but its more like waking them to for play rather then ramming my member into an unprepared zone. And always I have known before hand that they would be ok with it.So yes I can ... (read in full...)
Would this be considered mentally cheating?
Q. I've been with an ex co-worker of mine for three months now. I do care about him but I'm pretty sure I don't love him... Anyhow, about two months ago, my ex from when I was 15 to 19 somehow got a hold of my new email address and, well, he emailed...
A. 17 July 2009: Well your current bf obviously is not going to like getting dumped.But you haven`t developed any real feelings in 3 months so you probably wont.So saying that breaking up with your current bf is probably the best thing for you to do. That frees ... (read in full...)
What do you do when your man prefers porn over you?
Q. I'm in my 40's and still get compliments from 20yr. old guys!..but my man prefers porn over me? ive tried everything i'm willing to do for him..but he still does this..we have a child together.. and i want to be a family..but it hurts to know..that ...
A. 16 July 2009: Him watching / using porn is normal and natural.Him doing the same and neglecting you does pose a serious problem. I don`t really have any solutions to offer. Talk to your husband and explain your problems/ frustrations/ feelings.If that doesn`t ... (read in full...)
Men: When is a women being cold?
Q. guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...
A. 16 July 2009: Keep talking.Send him messages.Why is he so busy?How far away is he?... (read in full...)
Men: When is a women being cold?
Q. guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...
A. 15 July 2009: Communication is vital.If your not talking over a 4 day period then the relationship is up in the air.If your scared to talk to him when he is on-line send him a letter while he is off line.Talk about anything.Whats new in your life.Ask him anything ... (read in full...)
Men: When is a women being cold?
Q. guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...
A. 15 July 2009: First off everyone is different.Just be yourself,and treat your partner or interest how you would like them to treat you. I personally like a lot of contact.If my gf went 24 hours without contacting me I would seriously think there was someth... (read in full...)
Venting relationship troubles
Q. Where to start? I am with this girl and she is 8 weeks pregnant with my child.She lives almost 2 hours away and neither of us has transportation at the moment.I broke up with her the morning of the 4th because she wanted to go home.I don`t have ...
A. 15 July 2009: She is 20 and I`m 32. Her original due date was Feb 15th now its Feb 24th. She was here with me from 5-12 till 5-24.So yes I am certain it`s my baby.And yes if it was not my baby I would have moved on. A conversation between her and a guy friend... (read in full...)
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