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*ason32477 agony aunt

*ason32477

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*ason32477's profile:

I like to think of myself as an open minded individual.I believe that trust is the most important aspect to any relationship.

Love:1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.2.attraction based on sexual desire.3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.4. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.5. the fatherly concern of God for humankind.

We each have it within ourselves to love whomever we choose to open our hearts to.As such love is among the least important qualities in a real working relationship.

Trust,communication,happiness,friendship,kindness,compassion,

affection,loyalty,warmth,understanding,commitment,respect.

If you have these things you have love even if your eyes are not open to it.It is equally possible to not have these things and still have love.Love is a powerful emotion and can make us do many things that are not healthy for us.

< Prev123456Next > [6 pages, 182 answers]

Men: When is a women being cold?

Q.   guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...

A.   20 July 2009:  I`m sorry but honestly I would be thinking the same thing.... (read in full...)

Men: When is a women being cold?

Q.   guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...

A.   17 July 2009: Long distance relationships won`t hold up forever.Have you approached the subject of something more serious?How willing would you or he be to moving?If your not talking on a daily basis I wouldn`t suggest approaching the subject yet.Just put as much ... (read in full...)

Is my husband still talking to other women on the internet?

Q.   is my husband still talking to other women on the internet? heres the deal atleast once a year lately i find that my husband has been having internet cheating opens up new email account to through me off. when he does this he lies to me says ...

A.   17 July 2009: Coming from a guy I don`t know how this sounds but had I been pregnant I would have given him another chance as well. But it seams he has abused that chance. Regardless if you can prove the adultery before you give him the boot you can take him for ... (read in full...)

Is my husband still talking to other women on the internet?

Q.   is my husband still talking to other women on the internet? heres the deal atleast once a year lately i find that my husband has been having internet cheating opens up new email account to through me off. when he does this he lies to me says ...

A.   16 July 2009: Its good to know things for sure before jumping the gun.Him opening new accounts and blatantly lying to you does raise a lot of red flags and suspicion,but unfortunately proves nothing.Don`t throw him out with out prof.That way if you separate you ... (read in full...)

4 Drinks, 2 Cougars, 1 Pole, and a Baby

Q.   My boyfriend is significantly older than myself. We go to bars together and women significantly older than both of our ages added together usually gravitate to us and begin random conversations. In these conversations, they tend to be overly ...

A.   16 July 2009: Its appropriate if you say it is.Its not if you say its not. Talk to your boy friend and explain how you feel.Tell him what you are and are not comfortable with.If you have never been and don`t feel comfortable going with these random women tell him ... (read in full...)

I think I am a giant breasted ogre

Q.   my friends always told i was pretty and i believed them. A few other people also told me i was pretty, most people say i'm okay.On the pretty scale i was rated a 3 but i didn't care. But then people were laughing at my face and my friends have ...

A.   16 July 2009: Honey its not who you are on the outside that matters.Its who you are inside that counts.A persons heart and soul mean a lot more in any kind of relationship than there appearance. Would you rather have a good looking friend or a caring friend?Be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is an ass, a jerk, inconsiderate and makes me cry

Q.   Okay, same guy if you've read my questions before. Last night me and my boyfriend were doing things sexually, and i couldnt get him off...this has happend a couple times before and hes drunk...its been an hour or more and he still wants me to keep ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Sounds like you need to have a sit down.The problem isn`t your performance it`s his drinking.I can totally understand where he is coming from.Been there done that.And yes that sounds about like what my response was as well.Well I can admit I was ... (read in full...)

23 year old son sleeping with male prostitutes for the "kick". Should I tell his fiancee?

Q.   My 23-year-old son is in university, and lives with us at home (purely for financial reasons - he is otherwise independent). He said to me the other night "Mum, I've got something to confess..." I was expecting it to be something academic-rela...

A.   16 July 2009: Ask oldersister hit it on the head.... (read in full...)

How will I avoid losing her?

Q.   I am desperate for some help and feel like I am stuck in a rut and I cant get myself out. Here goes.... I have been seeing my girlfriend for around a a year and 2 months the first couple of months were fantastic and we had so much fun together she...

A.   16 July 2009:  From reading what you wrote I feel you would be so much better off without her.Every time we fall in love its so hard to let go and move on no matter how much we hurt inside.You just have to remember that there was life before her.There will be ... (read in full...)

How can I stop him being bored with the relationship?

Q.   Hellooo I have been with my new boyfriend for nearly 2 weeks noww and i was with him before but it only lasted for like a week. people keep telling me he doesnt last in relationships and that he doesnt treat girls right. sometimes he does my head ...

A.   16 July 2009: Don`t worry so much about what he wants till you figure out what you want.Just take things slow.See what comes of things.And communicate.Let him know whats on your mind.Don`t do anything you don`t want to do.... (read in full...)

What it is that he wants?

Q.   I met up with this guy twice. We ended up having sex both times. Due to distance and busy lives we haven't seen each other in a while. He didn't say it, but it was obvious that he just wanted sex, nothing more. Which is completely fine with me, to...

A.   16 July 2009:  If your confused as to what he wants/feels ask him.There is no better way to find out.... (read in full...)

Taking it slow?

Q.   My GF of 3.5 years recently broke up with me. She was hurt that she didn't feel I loved her anymore and that I no longer made her feel special. I felt the same way, I feared she no longer loved me which caused me to pull back and stop making her ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Just talk to her.Tell her every thing you feel.Let her know where your coming from.And let her know you respect her wishes and that you are there for her anytime she needs you.... (read in full...)

I want to do something creative to suprise my ex so he will accept me as a friend

Q.   i have broke up about 3 months ago, because my ex was cheating on me, i had known that he was doing that and i forgave him and we decided to be good friends. just 2days before the break up, till i had a call a girl that he was cheating with and ...

A.   16 July 2009:  First and foremost explain to him that you just want to be friends.Big surprises like you suggest might make him read further the wrong way than he already is.... (read in full...)

I am afraid for him. Is there anything I can do?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend who has been in an on and off again relationship. He says he loves me but he continues to try to make the other relationship work because she has a child that he feels he needs to be t...

A.   16 July 2009: True.In order for him to recover he first must realize he has a problem.Let him know he has a problem.Have people close to him tell him.Odds are he will deny it.Even push you away.Be persistent.... (read in full...)

I don't know if I can walk away. What do I do?

Q.   I know my boyfriend loves me, he does tell me this and we would could potentially have a good life together in the future. We complement each other quite well. He's helped me with a lot of things in my life and helped me try to accept who I am. T...

A.   16 July 2009:  Remember that strong girl you use to be?Would it not be nice to have her back? If your bending over backwards for this guy its not worth it. Be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are first. Worry about the relationship second.if he has changed ... (read in full...)

Am I reading more into the situation than he is?

Q.   Me and this guy, lets call him 'Richard' have sort of been flirting and stuff for a while. I've known him for about 5 years, but he's not that much of a good friend, just someone I know. At my friends party we were alone for about half an hour a...

A.   16 July 2009:  You don`t know if he likes you.Your not sure if you like him.Until you figure out weather you like him or not there is really nothing to be done.If you do decide you like him talk to him and see how he feels.You might be reading more into this then ... (read in full...)

Should I get out now or wait until the whole family is imprisoned?

Q.   For the last 6 months I have been in love with a wonderful man who I had every intention of marrying. Recently his past relationships have come to the fore a lot esp regarding his young son who is always getting into trouble. This child has recently ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Are you sure the child is making up these story's?I don`t know what the best advice is to give you.If this guy is seriously committing new crimes,(and by the sound of things he is even if you don`t believe it)then yes its time to let go and start ... (read in full...)

I know he is selfish...how can I get that to change without ruining his self-esteem?

Q.   I have had an unsatisfying sex life when it comes to having the act with a male. I have pleasured myself successfully most times and have no problems having an orgasm then within 15 minutes or less. When I am with someone of the opposite sex I ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Talk to him.If he cares about you he cares about your satisfaction.And your right,you can`t tell him you have been faking it,but slow down on that.Wait more to start.Don`t do it every time,and cut him off slowly from the satisfaction of fake ... (read in full...)

How do I build my trust in him?

Q.   I was best friends with this guy a little over four years. We have so much in common, we have a good time together, he makes me happy and treats me great. We have most recently been hanging out much more and our friendship has become a little more ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Explain how you feel to your soon to be bf.Let him know you care deeply for him but you haven`t recovered from your last relationship.You need to learn to trust again.There are a lot of evil people in this world,and they will find a way into your ... (read in full...)

I am afraid for him. Is there anything I can do?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend who has been in an on and off again relationship. He says he loves me but he continues to try to make the other relationship work because she has a child that he feels he needs to be t...

A.   16 July 2009:  Look into prevention type organizations.AA,rehab,and anything else you might have locally.He will probably hate you for it in the short term, but he is in a downward spiral and needs help before he hits bottom.Make calls and explain the ... (read in full...)

Men: When is a women being cold?

Q.   guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...

A.   16 July 2009:  Keep talking.Send him messages.Why is he so busy?How far away is he?... (read in full...)

I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Q.   please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's ...

A.   16 July 2009:  What about friends co-workers?Even with the risk of them following you I would suggest a change of location.Move to your mums temporarily till you find somewhere else to go.Maybe look through adds for room mates wanted.You don`t want to live ... (read in full...)

Could someone please give me some words of support here?

Q.   I am a mid 40s woman who has been involved with a married (now separated) woman for over a year. We have lived together all the time we've known each other. Her estranged husband knows about our relationship. She and I had been talking for some ...

A.   16 July 2009:  Relax.Give support to your gf.The circumstances that she is going through are beyond her control.Marriage is just a piece of paper.Its the relationship and love that count.Its hard for me to see why you are fighting with her.If you can think of any ... (read in full...)

I have jealousy issues, insecurity, paranoia and need a robot lover

Q.   Dear Cupid, I seriously need some help, before I go completely insane. I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months and to start with, everything was fantastic. However, I have started to become severely jealous. If he befriends a girl, I have to ...

A.   16 July 2009: I think you found yourself a good man and your running the risk of driving him away.You have been together over a year now.Its time to put more slack in his leash.If you wanna be curious about what he is doing thats normal.But its time to not be ... (read in full...)

He likes me, he likes me not. He likes me, he likes me not...?

Q.   I know i have put this up a few times but here goes. I have been in love with a guy for about 9/10 months now and i think he like me back. He always starts conversations with me (on MSN and in person), always teases me, gives me loadz of eye ...

A.   16 July 2009: Yes I would think he probably likes you,but I don`t think he is ready for a relationship.Talk to him.Tell him how you feel and what you want.If he says he likes you and wants to be with you then you tell him about his mate and let him deal with ... (read in full...)

We have differing timelines for marriage

Q.   Hello. I'm twenty-five years of age, turning twenty-six in exactly two weeks and I'm still a virgin. In junior high and high school, I never wanted a boyfriend because I was focusing on my studies, but I did have a lot of guy friends. Plus, I grew ...

A.   15 July 2009: Well something is obviously troubling him that he is not comfortable talking about.I would not worry to much about it.And I don`t think he is going to come back to you.I may be wrong and it cant hurt to take the time to find out.But be prepared for ... (read in full...)

How do condom sizing work?

Q.   very quick question, how big does the penis have to be (length and girth) to fit a normal condom? ...

A.   15 July 2009: Unless your smaller than 3` or more than 9` I wouldn`t worry about it. It`s generally one size fits all.... (read in full...)

I should just go clear this up with him, but continue to live in limbo anyway

Q.   I am really confused. I split up with my boyfriend at the weekend by text (I am appalled that I did it in that way, and instantly regretted doing it but I was rarely able to get hold of him on the phone which I found deeply frustrating. We were in ...

A.   15 July 2009: Where do you want to go from here?What are your feelings for this guy?How long have you been dating and how often do you see each other? Assume he got your text.He probably cares a lot for you and doesn`t want the relationship to end.Explain how you ... (read in full...)

I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Q.   please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's ...

A.   15 July 2009: Ok. I`m sorry for thinking you were crazy.... what did you do back when you were raped?If there is a police report from that it lends a lot of credibility to your story.Second,have you talked to your current bf about the situation at all.I`m ... (read in full...)

I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Q.   please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's ...

A.   15 July 2009: That is exactly what I am suggesting.It was a simple question.Who do you know that knows your boy friend?... (read in full...)

My boyfriend flirts with other women, comes home to me but I am paranoid

Q.   Ok heres is my issue. My boyfriend is a very well liked person. He is always flirting with other girls and things like that. I know this is wrong but I have a password of his and I do use it to check up on him. But he is writing girls telling them ...

A.   15 July 2009: If he is telling other girls that there sexy and that he is thinking about them than thats defiantly a red flag.Thats one of those if he hasn`t cheated on you yet he will signs.You can just leave him out right.(Probably the better choice but I don`t ... (read in full...)

Men: When is a women being cold?

Q.   guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...

A.   15 July 2009: Communication is vital.If your not talking over a 4 day period then the relationship is up in the air.If your scared to talk to him when he is on-line send him a letter while he is off line.Talk about anything.Whats new in your life.Ask him anything ... (read in full...)

What else can she do to get a man?

Q.   my friend is in her thirties and still stays at home, i think between us we have exhausted her options of finding a man shes quite fussy when it comes to what she wants from him job house money etc..and this is a reson i think shes still single, ...

A.   15 July 2009: You could always print this page out and show her.All anyone really needs in a relationship is A. Trust B. Respect C. Friendship D. To be treated with kindness. If you have these things then you are blessed.If you feel you need more then your ... (read in full...)

He physically hurts me, but I love him

Q.   if been with my boyfriend off and on sence 7th grade I'm now n 10th we've gone through so much being together or at least I have he has the rep of a cheater and he's cheated on me more than once well if only proved it once the rest is just rumors he ...

A.   15 July 2009: My dear this guy is no good.You already know this.End the relationship today.Its going to hurt regardless.Sever this relationship quickly before it takes a greater toll on you than it already has.Its not going to get better.I know he is sincere when ... (read in full...)

I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Q.   please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's ...

A.   15 July 2009: No no.I am defiantly not trying to make fun of you.Regardless if my assessment is right or not you have a serious situation on your hands,and need help.More help then this advice column can hope to give you. And yes I read your story through twice. ... (read in full...)

If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone?

Q.   If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone? either confide in a friend or tell the biological father? would you be guilty and tell all eventually or keep this a secret forever? ...

A.   15 July 2009:  I am not female so I could not do such a thing but I feel that what you are doing a great injustice to all involved. Both men and the child.I can`t say I`ve never cheated,but I never kept it a secret.This is to damaging a secret to keep.Of course ... (read in full...)

22 male and still a virgin

Q.   Hey so I'm a 22 year old male virgin in college and until recently I never felt like this was a real issue for me (I'm not religious). I've found that a lot of old friends have been getting married or are in serious relationships while I have hardly ...

A.   15 July 2009:  Well if your looking to get a girl try using the internet.All my recent ex`s and my current gf I got off of myspace.The key to starting a relationship is communication.Run a search for girls in your area and set the criteria how you want it.Then ... (read in full...)

He left me for someone else during my difficult time

Q.   Dear Cupid, I know this man for almost 10 months, we knew each other from the internet. He was a nice guy,I liked him so much, and I felt that I didn't feel lonely in this strange country (all of my family live far). After 3 months dating, he said ...

A.   15 July 2009:  This guy is not for you.You may be able to keep him as a friend but nothing more.If you can call him do so.Let him know your having problems and don`t be afraid to ask for his help.If he is willing to help you try to suck up any pain he may be ... (read in full...)

Dating a year and now things have sort of dried up between us

Q.   hi, i have been dating this girl for about a year and everything was going great but lately weve both noticed that things are changing, we dont laugh as much and we are both very playful but things are very dry with us lately,and i recetn;y learned ...

A.   15 July 2009: She is young and is probably unsure what she really wants.If she is what you really want then continue to try and make your relationship work.So she finds other guys attractive.Can you honestly say she is the only girl you find appealing? Appreciate ... (read in full...)

I want to let go but I work with him and see him every day

Q.   i need some advice how do you get over sum1 that you totally ar in love with and you see him everyday in work and you cant help looking at him and hes looking at you but he has a girlfriend and you have been with him before and the sex was great but ...

A.   15 July 2009: Being that you work with him makes the situation difficult.About all you can do is cut out the friendly chatter.Keep it civil,and keep it strictly professional.Don`t hang around him during brakes,and maybe explain to your boss your personal problem ... (read in full...)

Let the guys do the chasing?

Q.   Okay I've been talking to my ex for the past three weeks now. He's the one who contacted me first. Ever since that day he contacted me we've been talking or texting everyday. Today I woke up and decided to give him a call to say good morning. I ...

A.   15 July 2009: Does it really matter who is chasing as long as you get caught? Don`t worry about what anyone else thinks besides you and your man. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing.Unless he tells you or hints otherwise call him when ever you want.As long as ... (read in full...)

What else can she do to get a man?

Q.   my friend is in her thirties and still stays at home, i think between us we have exhausted her options of finding a man shes quite fussy when it comes to what she wants from him job house money etc..and this is a reson i think shes still single, ...

A.   15 July 2009: lol Not be so picky.We are all human and as such we are all flawed.I wonder if she was a guy would she date herself?And as a guy with top criteria being "job house money" she sounds like a gold digger,and not truly interested in a loving ... (read in full...)

Men: When is a women being cold?

Q.   guys when is a women being cold? when she doesnt get in touch for a few days, in another hand is texting or emailing every day just too much? what would you guys like from us as a thirty something woman ive still never figured out how to play it...

A.   15 July 2009: First off everyone is different.Just be yourself,and treat your partner or interest how you would like them to treat you. I personally like a lot of contact.If my gf went 24 hours without contacting me I would seriously think there was someth... (read in full...)

Was it wrong of me to lose my virginity to my ex?

Q.   Well first off i'm a 16 year old girl in serious need of advice! I would normally go to my mom or dad for advice but this time i cant. i feel like if i tell them ill disappoint them and thats exactly what i dont want. cuz like ever other norma...

A.   15 July 2009: Whats done is done.Don`t make a big deal of it.If you have feelings for this boy find out what he feels for you.If your interested let him know.Just tell him how you feel and ask him any questions you may have.... (read in full...)

I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Q.   please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's ...

A.   15 July 2009: Sounds to me like you are seriously schizophrenic and maybe you should see a mental health person.Coming across town from you bf`s only to run into your bf with these followers of yours is kinda hard to believe.If these people have been following ... (read in full...)

He physically hurts me, but I love him

Q.   if been with my boyfriend off and on sence 7th grade I'm now n 10th we've gone through so much being together or at least I have he has the rep of a cheater and he's cheated on me more than once well if only proved it once the rest is just rumors he ...

A.   15 July 2009:  This guy needs his butt kicked.Seriously.And trust me on this.You can do better.Love is the purest of all emotions.And most of us as humans have it within our selves to love whomever we chose.The trick isn`t to find someone we love.The trick is to ... (read in full...)

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