A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody I got this long distance relationship mess here:)I met this girl online and we hit it off. She is in different neighboring country. Not crazy love or anything, but mutual interest and feelings that we like each other. Long story short, we decided to meet up in the couple of month. I was gonna come and see her. But week later she told me that she slept with her ex bf couple of times, but that it was only physical and she has no feelings for him. She says she doesn't think it's wrong what she did. She says it's absolutely normal. Well, regardless, that got me mad and I told her that in this case I wasn't coming.Was I right to be mad at her?Now I know we were not in the relationship or even in love and we were only gonna meet each other and see what happens. If we liked each other and take it step further it's all right, if not it's all right too. And if we didn't then she is free to do whatever she wants, but until then I think she should of had a little more decency and respect for a person who is taking a trouble and coming to see her from a different country to visit her and wait just a little bit and not to sleep with the other guy. I mean I'm not coming to just try and have sex! For the money I would have spent on the trip I could just get hookers.So who do you think is right in this situation? Do you think that was all right on her part to do what she did, or I overreacting? Thank You for You feedback!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): You werent in a commited relationship with her, you hadnt set boundaries, you werent dating her exclusively. If you two were a couple you could be mad at her, but right now it sounds like you are over reacting and claiming her as your own, her body as yours, when you said yourself you were going there to see what would happen. So clearly she is not yet yours, and why should you have the right to tell her what to do with her body then?
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Its hard to say.How long have you two been talking? When did she actually sleep with him?If she slept with him prior to knowing you was coming then it would be a lot easier to forgive.If it was after than she doesn`t seam to be that interested in you. But if it was before then at least she was honest about it and I`d give her another chance.It all depends on the time table.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): actually i think it is really wrong what she did, you thought you had a special connection right? and you assumed she felt it too, but obviously she wasnt too bothered, this just shows her lack of commitment. i mean your not in a relationship but still, morally it is wrong. she is messing with your head, im sorry if this is awfully blunt but i think you need to cut all ties from her, she doesnt seem to care much.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): It wasn't very smart to tell you but she may have because she was nervous about seeing you, bit of self sabotage you might say. Its u' to you to see if you can get past it.
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