A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with an ex co-worker of mine for three months now. I do care about him but I'm pretty sure I don't love him...Anyhow, about two months ago, my ex from when I was 15 to 19 somehow got a hold of my new email address and, well, he emailed me. Prior to this, I hadn't spoken to or seen him in over a year; we stayed pretty close friends the first year after we broke up. I know we're not over each other and he's stayed single the entire time we've been broken up, but I have a new boyfriend now.I took me longer than I care to remember to get over him and now that I'm starting to move on, he contacts me! Of course, I didn't want to be rude and I was, in fact, curious about how his life's been going the last year. Well, that ultimately sparked a long chain of emails that led to adding each other back onto our Facebooks, which led to IMing each other, which led to long calls on our mobile phones, which led to us actually hanging out.I'm not a cheater nor am I liar. I haven't told my current boyfriend about any of this and I know that isn't being completely honest, but it's not lying, either. But when I hang out with my ex, I sometimes wonder why we broke up in the first place. And when I actually see him, I get this incredible urge to jump his bones but my morals and my rationality thankfully get the better of me and I do nothing about those urges.I feel like I'm mentally cheating on my current boyfriend and god, I don't want to do that! But I miss my ex so very much! He and I have discussed quite a few times over the past couple of months why exactly we broke up and neither of us can remember. He's told me that I'm more beautiful than I was just a couple years ago and that I am still the same woman he fell in love with those seven years ago. And I have to say, the compliments can be paid the other way as well.Seeing as we're both now out of college and I've been contemplating a break-up with my current boyfriend, do you think it's at all fair to my current boyfriend anyway? Do you think maybe ex and I can actually make it work for the rest of our lives? I'm actually pretty excited about getting back together with my ex but I don't know how my curreny guy will take it...Thanks for any help!
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a break, broke up, co-worker, facebook, fell in love, liar, miss my ex, move on, my ex, spark Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Going threw my answers for the day I find this is the one I am Least happy about.So I`m gonna give it a second shot. First off your ex is an ex for a reason even if you can`t remember what that reason is. Second I would like to mention that we as humans have the ability to love whomever we choose to give our heart to.I have loved male friends and I am in no way gay.When starting out in a relationship there are more important things than love. Trust, Honesty, Kindness, caring, Tenderness, do they make you happy?are they good to you? If you have these things then you are in a good relationship.And if you are in a good relationship than I promise at some point love will develop as you learn to trust more and lose your inhibitions and fears. I`m sorry for posting one thing and now coming back and posting quite the opposite.I just feel that if I let that post stand alone I might be doing you a great injustice.Try to forget about who you do or do not love, and ask yourself does your current bf make you happy? Is he good to you? Just don`t be so quick to throw him away. You have 2 choices and you really need to think carefully before making it. If you keep your current bf then you need to push your ex out of your life. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (17 July 2009):
Well your current bf obviously is not going to like getting dumped.But you haven`t developed any real feelings in 3 months so you probably wont.So saying that breaking up with your current bf is probably the best thing for you to do. That frees you up to see if things can work between you and your ex.I commend you for not cheating on your current bf. You have a high standard of morals and doing things in this way you can keep them intact.
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