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... Send *loveblue a private message | | | *loveblue's profile:I first stumbled upon this website when I was having a broken heart from a failed relationship. I didn't want the people around me to sermon on me as I never listened to them but I was desperate for an advise. I'd say, this was the best that I could find when it comes to relationship problems. You know why, because our dear aunts will respond to your post based on their experiences and knowledge. I do agree that experience is the best teacher. You are free to follow their advise or not. And not everyone will give the same formula, the same answers, so imagine how much knowledge you will get.
Ofcourse some will be frank some will be nice, but that's the beauty of it, you get to be responded by people with varying personalities. You will feel there is life in this website.
Anyway, I can honestly say that this site has helped me mature so fast. When I first started here, my view of relationships are shallow, immature and I don't know how to read guys behavior. About sex too, I was so naive. I feel I know only 10% before, now I feel like I know some 60% already about relationships. I like to learn more from reading about people's posts and problems. I do give advise at some posts where I know I can relate to. It may not be the best advise but it's based on experience and based on early posts from since I became a member here. Coz I do make a lot of observations from people who post here over and over, it seems there is a pattern for exes, FWBs or some basic teen age sex questions. These stories are from different people but they are basically similar to each other.
Also, it feels nice to share your views and help people learn from your mistakes. Do not let them learn their mistake, make them learn form yours so they can avoid the mistake as early as possible.
Good luck to all of us. |
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I am married but this other woman will not leave me alone!! Help!
Q. Hi, I'm 35 and married. In March this year, I started flirting with my female colleague. After few weeks, we realised that we both had a lot of things in common and we're sexually attracted to each other. She told me that she wanted commitment, so I ...
A. 8 July 2011: The moment you told her you have strong feelings for her, you just put more fuel into her desire to have you. And in her mind is like "it's only a matter of time and skill that I can have this man." I honestly think you should've kept your thoughts ... (read in full...)
We were supposed to move into together but he broke it off and has a new girlfriend!
Q. Me and my fiancé was together 5 years and was moving in together in end of march and the day we were moving in he broke up with me as he told me he didn't love me any more.I was heartbroken and didn't see it coming at all. Then the next day rang me ...
A. 3 July 2011: Guys are sometimes cowards when it comes to major decisions in their lives, like moving together, being pregnant unexpectedly or marriage. These are the major things I could think of. I would suggest, why not speak to him and say that if you only... (read in full...)
Guy I like broke up with me after seeing blood from my period during sex. What can I do??
Q. I had a huge crush on somebody that I met 3 years ago. He was so cute and from another state. From the first time we met, we knew exactly that we were attracted to each other. He stayed at the hotel and we exchanged our cell phone numbers. The sex ...
A. 30 June 2011: I could relate to your post. It happened many times with me with my current bf and he really really hates it. He always triggers day 1 of my period and even if i know I am not supposed to bleed yet (like it should be next day or 2), the intercourse ... (read in full...)
She chose her husband over me and I can't deal with it!
Q. My married girlfriend just told me that this is the end of the affair. I don't understand why would she dump me if I was there for her in time of need and always very supportive. She says she still loves me but she can not take the pressure that I ...
A. 29 June 2011: Well, the fact that you were her bf for 6 months and that you didn't know she was married is really something. I mean, how could she have hidden this from you but with all efforts to deceive you? Clearly, she may have some agenda on her mind, maybe ... (read in full...)
I have noticed some changes in her, what could be the reason?
Q. I met her in the internet since 10 months ago , we live so far away from each others , we clicked so fast , and we felt we should meet up , prior to that we felt love but we wanted to see if that's real or not , we met after 3 months of chatting in ...
A. 29 June 2011: Ok, I think it also pays to consider how you met this girl which is through chatting. If you are new to this kind of dating, please be aware that relationships that start with chats may seem promising at first but most of the thrills end up and ... (read in full...)
My wife lost her virginity to another man while dating me
Q. My wife just told me that she lied to my when we were married. We only dated each other and never had sex until our wedding day because we talked about it and we both wanted to arrive virgin to marriage. However, when we went to our honeymoon and ...
A. 15 June 2011: I am so sorry you are going through a situation like this. Everyone who reads your post will empathize with you. The only problem I can find in your story is that, what your wife did is past. It's like years ago and she confessed to you about it ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about telling his wife about us
Q. I am married and had a four year affair with a married man. I ended up by my third child turning out to be my lovers. my husband found out the baby wasnt his and I begged him not to tell my lovers wife to protect our children. Somehow I am still in ...
A. 15 June 2011: I am afraid it will cause more trouble for you if you do this. For one, he is now your ex lover. Calling his wife whatever seemingly valid reason you have will only open old wounds. You should feel lucky that you have ended your affair with him ... (read in full...)
My worry is that love isn't real, or doesn't last... Am I right? Does anyone have a loving relationship that has lasted???
Q. Hey, I'm wondering if it is unrealistic to think that love can last? I've been with my bf 8 months, things are great, and he's talked about us moving in together in the next year and said that he'd like us to marry and have children some day, which ...
A. 14 June 2011: Yes, the figures of people with lasting love might be decreasing per yer but you can find people who love until they die. There's too many to mention in my community. Unfortunately, a lot of us including me and some people I know have experienced ... (read in full...)
I need some advice about love vs life....
Q. i am writing this looking for some advice on a life and relationship issue. i have been with my current girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years. we lived together for about six months. but in december of this past year, i decided to move out of the country ...
A. 14 June 2011: Ok, so you want to understand why you are feeling this way in spite of knowing that this is a great girl but it's like you want to stay instead.
To be honest, this is the trouble with long distance relationships. I am working overseas myself a... (read in full...)
Somebody please talk me out of cheating.
Q. Somebody please talk me out of cheating. I am married with kids ( marriage has become a little boring , rutine and very predictable), but I'm craving that excitement of the affairs. I know for sure I WILL NOT get caught ever, and I am sure I WILL N...
A. 14 June 2011: To the OP, in my understanding of your post, it does seem like cheating is like an act that answers your problems towards an unfulfilled marriage. Believe me, it does seem so tempting to do that as it seems to present a lot of adventures and thrill ... (read in full...)
Why do I fall in love with every woman who shows me the least bit of attention?
Q. Hi im a 19y.o male. I have a question that may seem odd, but this has been on my mind for a while. to quote "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" why do i fall in love with every woman who shows me the LEAST bit attention? I find this happening ...
A. 14 June 2011: Well, I was a female version of you some years back. Can you actually tell what is common among these girls aside from not reciprocating your feelings?
For example, maybe they are out of your league. In my case, they were these super gorgeous... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to read these books even though I'm technically more pure then most girls my age?
Q. Hello! I'm going to get straight to the point and not beat around the bush. I'm a 18 year old virgin and I love to read romance novels. Not just the nice sappy ones, I like to read the sexy intense one with wild sex in them. I love historic novels ...
A. 8 June 2011: No, there's nothing wrong with it. I was also like you before when I was a virgin and my past time was to read these kinds of literary pieces. Believe me, when you experience the physical sex, you'd say it's not near the description you ... (read in full...)
I'm the only single guy left in my group of friends. Feeling left out!
Q. I'm feeling really lost right now and It's starting to get me down. I'm 25 and recently finished my time serving active duty in the military. I was really excited about getting out and moving back to my hometown, but I'm finding the transition ...
A. 20 May 2011: I feel for you. This happened to me before when I was finishing my bachelors at a later time than expected. When my peers were already earning after college, I was still struggling to earn my degree. They were already in a relationship and... (read in full...)
How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. This if for teenagers mainly! But anyone who isn't a teenager else be sure to answer too :) ....How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?...
A. 17 May 2011: Ok, I would like to answer this question even though I am not a teenager. :) I have been chatting with this guy online for about a year. But after a hundred times of turning him down and telling him I am not interested other than having online fr... (read in full...)
I have a few relationship/sex questions.
Q. Hey, this is a question for the girls (and guys, whatever) does size really matter? and Is there such a thing as too big or too small? and What would you rather have: poor relationship, great sex or great relationship, poor sex?...
A. 7 May 2011: For me, great relationship gives me great sex..no matter if it is only kissing. However, on the issue on penis size,we don't really say it doesn't matter. But then, as a girl who had been to a lot of girl talks..it is just used to differentiate a gu... (read in full...)
Should I block or delete my ex
Q. Several months ago, I dated this great girl, but I had ended it cause she started canceling dates alot and seemed to have less and less time for me cause she said she was busy with school. The a weeks later, I realized that I still wanted to date ...
A. 6 May 2011: Honestly, you should take this as a tip for your use in the future. Generally, girls don't like to turn down boys coz they feel bad or simply just don't have the guts to say it to your face that "no, you're not my type".
I for one is guilty o... (read in full...)
What does my dream mean?
Q. I had the weirdest dream last night!!! It was about a friend who I really have not thought about in anyway as a potential "partner". Actually, that same night I had hung out with a guy who I am trying to find out whether I like or not. But here is ...
A. 30 April 2011: No, the dream was probably just a reflection of this guy that you saw the other night. This dream may not actually refer to that particular guy in your dream but this guy represents some guy whom you had recently interacted with.
This dream se... (read in full...)
She's married, I'm single. But there is an attraction. Should I make a move? Do you think she gets a thrill out of talking to me? What should I do?.
Q. I have been attracted to a woman who I work with for several months. I believe (through mutual eye contact mainly) that she feels a similar attraction toward me. We had never had a conversation other than to say the usual 'hellos' and ' hi!s'. I ...
A. 19 April 2011: Well, my opinion as a woman is...i am afraid you would have to kill this interest of yours for your own good. Believe me. Just look at the dozens of posts here about people who are involved with married persons. Hardly thats they are the first ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my BF, because although he's a great guy, the sex is awful. Is it my fault?
Q. I've cheated on my boyfriend and i feel really guilty. he is a great guy. he knows what i like, he treaats me to things all of the time, and he loves me and i love him. but when we have sex, he is awful. he just cant please me. he always comes no...
A. 19 April 2011: The sex is awful, yes, so why are you still with your bf? My dear, you cannot justify this. Cheating is cheating. It means if the awful sex was enough for you to cheat, then it also means you don't have enough respect for your bf and certainly not ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she's too fat. How do I break up?
Q. me and my gf got together about 3 years ago. we both weighed 17 stone. we had a good relationship but in the last 12 months we said we would go on a diet. Now i weight 13 stone. she however weighs 18 and 1/2 stone. i am attracting the attention of ...
A. 14 April 2011: I wish I could say that you're not shallow but really you are shallow. Or it could be that you never loved your girlfriend and you were with her just because she was the only available person for you at that time. And now that you have improved ... (read in full...)
I told her I had rights, but she said they went out the window when I dumped her 10 months ago!
Q. okay story is right i was with a girl 6 years right but i wasn't into her anymore so like i broke up with her and then she told me she was pregant but like i was seening a new bird at the time. so i told her to forget it if she thinks i was going to ...
A. 11 April 2011: Frankly, I do understand why your ex said that your rights have gone out of the window 10 months ago. I mean, you left her and you didn't care that she was pregnant coz there was a new bird in your life. If I was the girl, you will never see e... (read in full...)
Why do women say you're a fantastic guy, the best lover they have ever met, yet leave and say they need to move on?
Q. When my lady walked into my life, it was like a ray of sunshine, she was tall, elegant, graceful and very very beautiful with intelligence, so she should being a doctor. The second we met it was sparks, being a free spirit she didn't want a ...
A. 31 March 2011: Well, some men say this to women while leaving them too.
No, this woman is only sugar coating her good bye but she means only one thing 'goodbye', that's all. Otherwise, she wont be leaving and would still be with you now.
The thing is, people... (read in full...)
How do we tell our friend that his girlfriend is cheating without everything blowing up in our faces?
Q. Hi. Any advice given on this would be greatly appreciated or anybodys oppinions or view points. Im in university, have a great group of girls that im close to and i have a wonderful boyfriend that ive been with for a year and a half. However i ...
A. 30 March 2011: I really can relate to this post as I was once caught in the same dilemma with a friend of mine who was cheating her husband. The good thing is, the husband found out by himself when she failed to burn pics of her holiday with the lover. Well, all... (read in full...)
My sister-in-law lives with us. I want her more than my wife.
Q. I'm 36years old and living a happy married life. We are living two families together. This means my family and the other family is my wife's brother's family, but wife's brother is not living here. He is in Dubai. I like his wife and want to develop ...
A. 27 March 2011: Ok so you want to have sexual relationships with her. How would you feel if your wife wants to have a sexual relationship with your brother or best friend? We do not easily decide to have sexual relationship with people and just jump like that. ... (read in full...)
Put your hands up in the air if you agree that studying SUCKS!
Q. Hiyaaaa!!! It's almost end of March and I have the most agony test during the end of May and they determind whether I get in University or not (another word I'm doing my AS) It's bloody annoying because I've lost motivation and whenever I d...
A. 24 March 2011: Just in time to post this for our readers in this age bracket. Well, it's true, the other important thing in life other than relationships is your studies which we can say almost determines what kind of future you have.
I agree with all the 3 au... (read in full...)
Am I now considered a hooker?
Q. I am 19 year old female. I live in an area where there is a lot of prostitution. I have always fantasized myself being a working girl so I like to dress the part and walk around the streets to see how many men proposition me. When they do I just ...
A. 21 March 2011: Are you concerned about belonging to this profession because of what happened or concerned about what this guy must think now?
The first important thing is what you think of yourself, if you think you did not ask money and that you did not make... (read in full...)
I miss my home, I miss my mum, I miss being in the countryside, but there are commitments that I have to fulfill in London....
Q. Hi i just dont know what to do! I'm a 21 year old girl from the countryside in a small town, i live with my mum as my dad died when i was 4 and i have no brothers or sisters so me and my mum are very close. i grew up there until i left home to go to...
A. 3 March 2011: Well, don't panic..that's very normal for your age and everyone can tell their own stories how they got over their own homesickness. Unfortunately, being homesick always happens when you are used to a kind of life in a certain place but that i... (read in full...)
The myth of "best friends" of the opposite sex
Q. OK, I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this (assuming anyone read this) but from my experience and observation I believe that a heterosexual man and woman who claim to be "best friends" without any romantic feelings...is a myth. Almost al...
A. 3 March 2011: Well, I am an example against what your post is saying. I have a best friend who is a guy and I never ever think of him sexually. He says the same thing to me. It's like thinking of us in a sexual way will make me vomit or die. I don't know but m... (read in full...)
Dear Creepy Ex, Thanks but no thanks.
Q. Ok so, my ex (not the classiest fellow at the best of times) just sent me a picture of his junk on facebook, with the message, "miss me?". This definitely seals my decision NOT to get back together with him. I thought of replying and kind of calli...
A. 24 February 2011: I agree with everyone. Ignoring is always better than replying even if it's a negative reply. Believe me, replying to him will make him feel that he got your attention and will know that it works. Ignoring him will make him feel like you don't c... (read in full...)
Why does my partner sleep with my clothing that I accidentally left at his place?
Q. hey guys just a curious question i left a shirt of mine in my partners car for quite some time, and today when i went to his new place, he kept it in his bed under his pillow. would anyone know why he does it? Occasionaly i forget to take things w...
A. 24 February 2011: I agree with Dirtball.
If you feel creepy about this, tell him it bothers you. But to be honest, and as your boyfriend said his reasons to you, he does seem to really miss you by doing this. So feel lucky instead, it is a sign that he wants to... (read in full...)
How can I get this absurd feeling out of my head?
Q. Hi To everyone, I am a 31 year old male from the UK, I have never had an issue like this before and it is seriously impacting on multiple aspects of my life. Work and social life have suffered due to what I can only put down to anxiety or jealo...
A. 24 February 2011: I agree with everyone. If there is one thing that damages people's trust and emotional stability, cheating will top the list. I am also impaired by what happened in my past, my ex cheated and left me for another woman. Even to this day, I am c... (read in full...)
Why was I just cut out of her facebook account for no reason at all?
Q. I know some people think friend request stuff on facebook is silly but I had one incident which has surprised me and hurt me. A few years back I worked with a lady who I socilised with, looked after her daughters on occasions, was caring when her...
A. 22 January 2011: Since the last time you actually was in touch with her was years ago. I have a feeling she felt like you were not supposed to give comments on her photos and was annoyed at your private messages. Really, some people detach themselves from their past ... (read in full...)
Am I right to worry he's not over his ex?
Q. Please help me, somebody! I don't know what to do! I am 21 and have been in a relationship with a lovely guy for nearly 3 months now. The relationship is going really well and he has virtually moved into my flat, and he and I really do get on great...
A. 21 January 2011: You have every right to doubt this kind of friendship he has with his ex. As his girlfriend and as you know his past with this girl, it is only natural for you to react like this and he must understand this.
If he imposes that he must see this gir... (read in full...)
No christmas or birthday card from my boyfriend, is it OK for me to be upset?
Q. I wrote on here a few weeks ago about how my boyfriend of 5 months didn't get me even a card for Christmas after I got him a $200 gift. My birthday was a week later and I did not get even a card for that either. Am I being a baby or do I have a r...
A. 14 January 2011: This is indeed upsetting. As a woman and I don't care how the guys justify this, I really cannot find a reason why he should at least give you a card except for the following: - he practices a religion which do not give importance to occasions suc... (read in full...)
I'm not happy about my girlfriend's pregnancy, I don't want to let my dreams and goals go down the drain!
Q. I'm 23 and my girlfriend is 20. We found out a couple weeks ago that she is pregnant, and she's ecstatic, I am more reserved. When we found out our reactions were very different, she was happy, I was upset. To cut a long story short she has decided ...
A. 6 December 2010: Well, first off, why is she pregnant?
If you only know, pregnancy is a miracle of life and it doesn't just happen and your gf didn't do it alone. She did it with you. In short, you should have used some contraceptives if you really don't want her... (read in full...)
If a guy doesn't call or text his girlfriend everyday, does that mean he doesn't love her?
Q. Is it necc. for me to call my girlfriend everyday just to prove that I love her deeply? I don't like talking on the phone much...I will text, but I don't want to feel obligated to call or text her or anyone else. Why do people put all these rules on ...
A. 23 October 2010: Really it depends on your girlfriends experience why she wants you to contact her on a daily basis. To be honest I used to be like you, I don't mind getting at least a short call from my bf every other day. But then when he cheated, the infrequency ... (read in full...)
Ghostly goings on...
Q. I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long one, but this is something that I'm really confused about and most of you that read this probably will either have no idea what to say or just think I'm crazy. Well I sense ghosts, I was able to repel them, ...
A. 19 October 2010: I have only read the first 2 lines of your post but I do think there's a better and more appropriate website for you to share your experience about the supernatural. I am a member of that site too and sometimes I share my own experience there too.
... (read in full...)
Didn't she get the message that its over?
Q. alright long story short i was seeing this girl for a little bit it wasn't anything serious it was mainly for the sex , she enjoyed it i enjoyed it ect ect.. until a week ago i told her that we needed to stop cuz i fancied a girl and we were gonna ...
A. 16 October 2010: Well, she did get it but she wants to try maybe she can still get you back. Some people are really persistent until they get what they want. If I were you, block her in all like chat, mobile (some mobile phones have block system I guess). Or just ... (read in full...)
Men like girls who are bald?
Q. I've always shaved down there. I can't always get the hair completely bald off of the lip area though, so there is always hair though. I recently got in a relationship, and I am kind of worried that the guy might be turned off by a bit of the hair. ...
A. 16 October 2010: It depends on the guy what he prefers. I suggest asking your bf when you think it's a good time to ask. Not all guys like hair down there but not all prefer bald. So you must know what he prefers, that would be the best thing to do then asking ... (read in full...)
When naked, do women still want to be treated with respect?
Q. I have found that when women are naked, they still want to be treated with respect. And I don't have the answers to all life's questions, but I want to know something...Do women prefer being treated with respect, or do the enjoy being ...
A. 29 September 2010: That is a funny question, and who says when a woman is naked it means she wants to be disrespected? Respect is always the rule by default.
Her being naked while with you means she trusts you and that she is confident that you respect her. No woman... (read in full...)
She moved on while I got more infatuated, how can I move on?
Q. [Mod Note: OP's suggested title taken] This girl and I liked each other last year and were going to go out, but I couldn't decide if i liked her that much and I ended up hurting her and she says she has lost those feelings for me. As time as passed ...
A. 29 September 2010: I suggest asking her for a talk and tell her how you feel about her. I do not encourage keeping it to yourself because this will consume you and will give you the psychological feeling that your feelings get more intense.
If you say what's o... (read in full...)
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