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I stumbled across this website. I am not sure how to be honest, but I am here now. I am still living life and if what I have lived through can help others I may be inclined to offer my two pennies.
I am an American Expat living in Europe. I would like to think of myself as a rational free thinker or Pearlist (Physical Evidence and Reasoned Logic) and happen not believe in any form of a god/goddess. I hope I can help and do good for this community as it seems a very good outlet for people.
HonningKanin |
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I want a tattoo in remembrance of my grandfather
Q. ok. I have been thinking about this one for a very long time. My grandpa died a year and about 4 months ago and i would rlly like to get a tat in rememberance of him. he kind of lost himself because he had alzheimer's so most of my life h...
A. 7 July 2009: Well, you should really ask your parents first what they think of the idea and if they would be willing to let you have a small tattoo on your body. The idea it is going towards is a nobel one, but remember tattoos are permanent. You cant wash them ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for getting upset with my g/f in this situation? What do I do?
Q. (my gf and I are both about 20, have been together almost 3 years, and living together about a year) Okay, first off, my girlfriend has a bit of an... anger problem. She gets angry at things very easily, and her anger quickly goes over the top, es...
A. 27 April 2009: Hello OP, You do have a breaking point and eventually you will reach it. No matter how much you love this girl you can only take so much. My advice is to leave now and save yourself time and a lot more emotional and mental ache. Sometimes people... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for getting upset with my g/f in this situation? What do I do?
Q. (my gf and I are both about 20, have been together almost 3 years, and living together about a year) Okay, first off, my girlfriend has a bit of an... anger problem. She gets angry at things very easily, and her anger quickly goes over the top, es...
A. 25 April 2009: I understand how obsessive both men and women can get when it comes to jealousy issues. The rules that are placed upon the one who bares the brunt of all of it if they dont comply when all they really want to do is make their significant other feel ... (read in full...)
I need to lose weight
Q. hi i am overweight i want to lose weight but everything i try something stops me is there anything you think could help me lose weight any advice please thank you xP...
A. 19 April 2009: Calories in calories out. The more you eat than burn off you will gain weight. Generally woman are to eat about 2000kcals a day. For every 500kcal that is 1lbs. Reduce your sugar intake and excersize more if you dont wanna change your eating habits.... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to younger teens... is this sick?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 and I'm from the UK. I've suddenly become attracted to younger teens, 13+. Is this normal? I'm scared because I don't want to turn into a paedophile, do I need to seek further advice for this? Has anyone else gone through the same ...
A. 14 April 2009: Lets look at this biologically. You are male and as much as people wanna make this taboo you are biologiocally inclind to spread as much of your genetic material as you can. You are also programmed to seek young healthy females, which would be more ... (read in full...)
How can I explain to my boyfriend that me and Ty are JUST friends?
Q. So here goes, I have been best friends with this guy Ty since we were around 2 years old. His mom and my mom are BFF we spend thanksgiving and vacations together stay at each others homes blah blah blah you get it right? Anyhow I had a huge party...
A. 19 March 2009: Mr Me I would ask why would anyone put their partner in a situation where they have to. They should have trust in their partner and be secure about their relationship. They should know partners can come and go but friends are normally forever.... (read in full...)
Am I just a boring old bag because I disagree with drugs, even milder ones?
Q. I am 36 my boyfriend 32 we are both from the UK. I'm going to be living in Vic, Australia with him soon but we seem to have an ongoing argument over cannabis. Basically last time I was there (he is living in Oz now) he suggested we didn't go to a ...
A. 17 February 2009: Man you really seem like myself. I am 23 and I am not some old bag. Infact with my husband I have had many heated arguments in regards to my hatred towards drugs. For a while it caused a rift between him and I as he had no moral qualms with taking ... (read in full...)
Do I have any rights?
Q. Can you remarry after divorce? Is your contract with God or the government? My wife had two affairs and it blew my mind literally. I had a mental breakdown and developed Bi polar. Anyway i'm back and have finally recovered after 7 years and realis...
A. 5 February 2009: I am by no means religious and I do not know your religion, but seeing as you are in the UK the predominant religion is christianity.
If you are a Christian you are certainly allowed to divorce and remarry.
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, Th... (read in full...)
Is having "break up sex" a good thing?
Q. Recently me and my gf broke up, but we had breakup sex. Is that bad/weird? :S...
A. 23 January 2009: Ever heard of people having "angry sex?" Its when people while fighting end up havng sex. Somewhere along the line people get caught up in the passion of the moment and end up having sex.(Sex is a great way to relieve built up stress and tension) ... (read in full...)
Why do people believe - or not believe - in God?
Q. Im just curious here, I wanna hear from people who are and are not in anyway, religious. To the folk who to believe there's a god, why do you believe so? A personal miracle happened to you, or some sort of experience that has made you believe? Or ...
A. 23 January 2009: I dont believe in a diety as there is no proof of anything like that. When someone says God I cant help but think of the myriad of Gods and Goddesses that have riddled the history of Humanity. All of them with people who had had experiences they ... (read in full...)
Is having "break up sex" a good thing?
Q. Recently me and my gf broke up, but we had breakup sex. Is that bad/weird? :S...
A. 23 January 2009: You know when I broke up with my long term boyfriend of 4 years, the first thing he asked was break up sex. Now I flat out said no. Now our break up was a calm one, so he still must have felt the love we once shared, maybe in hopes that afterwards I ... (read in full...)
Finding inner peace without God..advise please!
Q. It is a spiritual question, and I hope I can get some opinion. I'm not a religious person on this point, but I wish to reach out for some spiritual answers and help. It is difficult ,as I can't pray to a God I don;t believe in on this point. I ...
A. 23 January 2009: Hi!
I know this is old, but I felt kinda compeled to answer. I am an Atheist and I personally find my inner peace by refelcting in on myself through meditation, through trying to better myself and through helping others. While meditating I try to... (read in full...)
I need some (non-abusive) abortion advice, please.
Q. I guess i am remaining anon because i am ashamed... Im 16 soon 17 in my first year of college studing for my A levels live a life with good people in it such as my friends and a very lovely boyfriend. Ive been with my boyfriend for a few months now...
A. 23 January 2009: No you are not a bad person at all. In fact you are behaving like any normal girl would and you are making some very big decisions you are obviously not taking lightly. This is your decision and you are making the right one for you. Dont take notice ... (read in full...)
DO you think there is a higher power?
Q. DO you think there is a higher power, that we can use to turn to when our life turns bitter? How can we actually know there is a higher power, if we never actually seen it? How come, some of us can easily believe this higher power thing, and can ...
A. 13 January 2009: I dont believe in a higher power at all. There is no proof and I would much rather deal with reality on realities terms. I dont feel the need to cheapen the beauty of what is actually here and go on about a probability of something that may or may ... (read in full...)
How can I tell the GF he has another woman without her knowing that it's me?
Q. O.K I'M the other woman and I want the other woman (the girlfriend) to find out about us. This way it will put the man in the spot to make a decision. I don't want her to see something that will hurt her, I just want her to be informed, the man ...
A. 23 November 2008: " I just want her to be informed, the man you think is completely honest and has never given you a reason to distrust him is full of shitttt." Those are your words. I would really have a deeper look at them and before thinking with your emotio... (read in full...)
He's got a secret cell phone, could he be cheating on me?
Q. I think my husband is having an affair! my husband has a cell phone that i "accidentally" found out about! he says his mom gave it to him. he hides it ALL the time, and if i ask to see it, he gets mad. the one time he let me hold it for a ...
A. 30 October 2008: There can be a very effective way to find out. Ask this mans mother if she actually did give him a phone. If she says yes, then ask her why she gave it to him and what the reasons for having the phone is for.
If she says no tell her what you have... (read in full...)
Secret Love
Q. well um im in love with someone right now. But the thing is that we are going out secretly and they are still in a relationship. i dont know if i should stay or go i always say i dont wanna talk to them as long as they are together and they just beg ...
A. 24 October 2008: This is slightly confusing. When you say they and them are you saying you are with more than one person?... (read in full...)
We are having a baby through incest - what can I do?
Q. To everyone that doesnt understand, this will seem really wrong but i've been in love with my brother (no not step, my actual brother) for the past 2 years after he helped me get over my cheating ex. At the start i thought it was just an admiration ...
A. 19 October 2008: Ok, Ignoring the parantage of your child I am going to look at this like any other teen pregnancy and then the consiquences of it being with your brother. Firstly, you need to weigh out the options of having the child. The laws in the UK state tha... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 19 October 2008: People break up from relationships for many reasons. Not all relationships end badly and not all of the people involved have to hate eachother and never speak. I myself am married and have friends who were at one point my boyfriend. Why a... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 19 October 2008: I refere back to why I had to lie to my father. Pretty much so I didn't have to deal with his behavior.
And it is a leap of faith I guess to believe her explenation afterwards, but damn... a polygraph? Come on that is extreme. This could have bee... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 18 October 2008: I stand firm by what I said because I have seen it all too often. I personally know lieing is a wrong thing to do and yes she did wrong by not saying to him what she was doing but by how this man reacted and how easily it seems she can fall out of ... (read in full...)
Some might say I'm lucky...
Q. High... I'm a married man 10 years into it. My wife has thought, on and off, that I did not love her because I did not 'stick up' for her with my family. She has a small point.... they can be intrusive, but nothing was ever said directly a...
A. 18 October 2008: I think this has been posted twice, but to save my previous post i will just give you a link to my other post on this matter.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/has-trust-been-broken-can-i-love-her.html... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 18 October 2008: You know you really sound controlling and I feel very bad for your wife. If i was in her situation, I would have felt like i was doing wrong because of knowing how you would react.
To me, you sound like my father(step). Highly critical and if i... (read in full...)
Why do men value their women's virginity?
Q. Why all this negativity towards men who value virginity of a woman? I'm astonished at certain responses which seems to candidly brush this aside as a selfish attribute. It seems people don't understand the psychological and emotional aspect...
A. 18 October 2008: I completely understand that sort of psychology in a man and dare say it may even be even more heavily routed in the male evolution to make sure the children he concieves with a woman are his. Like marking territory. The problem I have though is t... (read in full...)
Help me please .... Am I pregnant ?????
Q. Hello , I am 21 years old and I am virgin before 3 days I did anal sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated in my anus. my period is coming every 28 days and at the 15 we had sex. From that day tell now I feel nauseous and if I eat anything I w...
A. 18 October 2008: Ok this is just a opinion, but hun i think you might be worrying yourself so much that you are actually making yourself neaseous and then realizing you are neaseous and thining it might be pregnancy symptoms.
Its never really good to be self dia... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to this pic? Or is this really as bad as I think?
Q. I need some advice on online dating. I just started dating again ...so i'm am new to what is acceptable or not. Recently i set up a profile on a decent website. I have gotten a lot of responses However, one person in particular caught my eye...
A. 17 October 2008: Just to let people know what a "sexual person" is generally means someone that is very confident with their sexuality and have a very high drive. So say if this was a meeting in real life it means the person would be very touchy feeling to entice ... (read in full...)
I do love her but I don't want to marry or commit to one woman all the time.
Q. Have been with my girlfriend for 7 years. She is very pretty, sexy, funny, loving the list goes on. But I know she wants more. I don't want to lose her. Every time she gets tired of dealing with my issues and tries to move on I beg her back making ...
A. 16 October 2008: You are going to lose her. She will eventually grow fustrated and leave you unless you keep the promises you made to get her back, but since that is not your intention you need to let her go.
It is incredibly selfish of you to do this to her. If ... (read in full...)
How many women out there enjoy sex as much as their mates do?
Q. Last week my girlfriend was told by her doctor that she needed to wait at least a week before having sex again. This was the first time since we started dating that we've gone more than a three days without it. The funny thing is, I think she had ...
A. 14 October 2008: I have a very high sex drive that sometimes overwhelms my husband. I very much enjoy sex and is a great way to relieve stress.... (read in full...)
I got married after a LDR, but she is not the way I thought she was...
Q. i just got married after long distance relationship, but as i went back to marry now my wife i just discovered that i had no feeling for her.She is no longer beautiful as i thought and nobody else has told me that she is beutiful.after our wedding I ...
A. 14 October 2008: This does seem like a very bad problem. One thing that struck e though is, why do you need other people to tell you how beautiful she was at the wedding? Surely it shouldn' matter what someone looks like as long as it is someone you love.
Now I... (read in full...)
Love quadrilateral, advice needed.
Q. my 'boyfriend' has two other girlfriends and we all know about each other. well ,two of us know exactly what's going on but his real,legitimate girlfriend doesn't. the thing is his real girlfriend 'T' really likes me even though i try to...
A. 14 October 2008: You know the beauty of not really being with him is that you can walk away without a reason. I'll be honest when I say he is a real ass. He is cheating on his girlfriend with not one, but two women and actually has the balls to say to you he isn't ... (read in full...)
If you had sex with a girl that has chlamydia, what could happen?
Q. If you had sex with a girl that has chlamydia what could happen?...
A. 14 October 2008: Here is a link.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/chlamydia.htm
Read up on it and become educated! :)
... (read in full...)
Not sure where we should be as a couple, whether I should be starting to think to settle down, or whether I am being unfair to both of us by continuing the relationship?
Q. I am confused. I have the perfect man, willing to give me everything, and has been for the past 3 years. For some reason however, the feeling of going out and dancing, joining clubs, hanging out with friends, going to parties etc appeals so much ...
A. 14 October 2008: Why does marriage have to be the end of fun an for some people? I am 23 married and still go out clubbing, partying with my friends, out and stuff. Being "settled" is realy about a state of being where you have had your general fill of it and dont ... (read in full...)
Are guys ever nice to girls they arent attracted to?
Q. There is this guy who I sit next to in class and he is super sweet to me. We dont really know each other that well but we do talk a lot, he always asks me what i did/what im going to do. Today, he offered to give me a ride to my house. I know he is ...
A. 14 October 2008: Define "attraction."
Basically what I am trying to say is that men and women are attracted to people for different reasons. Some are romantic and some are based on personality or humor or whatever. My answer to your question is yes a guy can be n... (read in full...)
I fell in love with a man.. but he's really a woman... and now I'm so confused. Please help me.
Q. Not sure where to begin and not sure of what kind of advice I'm looking for either. I met a wonderful 'man' online 8 years ago. He was the most caring, thoughtful, sweet and honest person I have ever met. We had a history... a love that was just ...
A. 14 October 2008: You fell inlove with a personality which is actually really beautiful, but I dont think you can change your sexuality. I mean can you see yourself with a woman?
If "he" is still a woman you have to ask yourself if you are anywhere near remotely... (read in full...)
I don't see how I can compete with a friend who's known her for so long and is there for her when I'm not moving back until next year.
Q. Ten months ago I met this girl who was just amazing. The only problem was that we had both just gotten out of serious relationships with people whom we thought we were going to marry. However we got along so great we ended up together and the sex ...
A. 13 October 2008: Ok, what she is doing is called keeping all her options open. She is having her cake and eating it. She has your emotional side that keeps her feeling good as well as the tactile and physical presence of another guy. Two guys showing her lots of ... (read in full...)
Keep or wait to have this baby? We may not be financially stable to properly care for another being that needs us. Your thoughts?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 21. We are planning on getting married but have been putting it off so that we can save for a big wedding. We both want children one day but my issue is, I just found out that I am pregnant...right now. So, I'm ...
A. 13 October 2008: Write out a lists of pros and cons of having the child. Take into consideration how you will feel after the abortion. I mean you are potentially getting rid of a child you will never again have a chance to meet.
Personally I wouldn't have an ... (read in full...)
Why is sex causing my boyfriend discomfort?
Q. When I have sex with my boyfriend I rub him raw... I know I'm small in that area and he's larger than I'm used to, is that the problem or is it because we are doing it too long and I'm not wet enough?...
A. 13 October 2008: Its probably a combination of all three. If you are small and he large, its gonna be what you call a tight fit.
If he is not circumsized it may even be worse for him because its stretching skin further back than what it would be normally comforta... (read in full...)
I don't know what words to use to tell my parents I am gay.
Q. Hey everyone, I am 15, gay and proud to be. I am "out" to my friends but not my parents. I am nervous to tell them. Not because I think they will react badly. It is because I just don't know how to phrase it. When I came out to my friends I put it ...
A. 13 October 2008: If I were you I would get their attention and have them sit down with you to talk to them. Tell them you have somethng very serious to tell them.
"Mom, Dad. I know that you love me and will always love me. I know you guys will always accept m... (read in full...)
Do I tell my best friend her boyfriend slept with a prostitute?
Q. I have a small problem, I just found out my best friends boyfriend slept with a hooker. What should I do. If I tell my best friend, She will think I am trying to split them up (as I was not happy with getting together in the first place). If I don't ...
A. 13 October 2008: Even though she has a lot of tears to cry you may have saved her from a disease.
You are a true friend, no matter if she knows it yet or not.... (read in full...)
Age difference - I need your advice please!
Q. I'm 13, And I'm in love with a 21 year old guy. I know it sounds really stupid, but please hold off the lecture until what I'm writing is comepletely read. I KNOW the guy, He's been my best friend (We're gamer geeks) For two years, and just ...
A. 13 October 2008: Just a side note to Flynn, I met my husband through a MMORPG (Mass Media Online Role Play Game). Times have changed, places to meet have change, but the people haven't. I didn't anticipate I was going to marry a man who sold me Goblin armor, but ... (read in full...)
Age difference - I need your advice please!
Q. I'm 13, And I'm in love with a 21 year old guy. I know it sounds really stupid, but please hold off the lecture until what I'm writing is comepletely read. I KNOW the guy, He's been my best friend (We're gamer geeks) For two years, and just ...
A. 13 October 2008: Are you not 13? Yes. Does he not think you are 16? Yes. Then you have lied.
I think you need to realise you did lie to him. He thinks you are 16 not 13. Ok? so no matter if you have tried to tell him, you havent and you started a relation... (read in full...)
Age difference - I need your advice please!
Q. I'm 13, And I'm in love with a 21 year old guy. I know it sounds really stupid, but please hold off the lecture until what I'm writing is comepletely read. I KNOW the guy, He's been my best friend (We're gamer geeks) For two years, and just ...
A. 13 October 2008: OK I am going to spare you the lecture and just get down to the nitty gritty. If you ever at any point have sex with this man it is ILLEGAL!
You are 13 and he is 21. If you slept with this man, even though he may not know your true age, when he ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my best friend her boyfriend slept with a prostitute?
Q. I have a small problem, I just found out my best friends boyfriend slept with a hooker. What should I do. If I tell my best friend, She will think I am trying to split them up (as I was not happy with getting together in the first place). If I don't ...
A. 12 October 2008: Let me put it this way, If you dont tell her a thing and she catches a disease from her partner who is sleeping with a prostitue, how well would you be able to live with yourself?
Its not just how angery or not angry she will be with you, it is he... (read in full...)
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