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I stumbled across this website. I am not sure how to be honest, but I am here now. I am still living life and if what I have lived through can help others I may be inclined to offer my two pennies.
I am an American Expat living in Europe. I would like to think of myself as a rational free thinker or Pearlist (Physical Evidence and Reasoned Logic) and happen not believe in any form of a god/goddess. I hope I can help and do good for this community as it seems a very good outlet for people.
HonningKanin |
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Is it wrong for a woman to ask a man out?
Q. I have another question, is it wrong for woman to ask man out on a date? Does it start a cycle of a woman taking the male role in the relationship?...
A. 8 October 2009: No its not wrong. I actually find it more common now for women to innitiate the dating.... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted ONLY to older MEN?
Q. Hi there, The thing is I'm not coming here for professional advise, but for some educated opinions, and maybe a parallel to one's own experience (if there are any). I did seek some help on this issue when I was an undergrad and my school therapist...
A. 8 October 2009: I dont find you a fool or a weirdo. You know there is only so much we understand about what makes one person attracted to certain characteristics in another person. Look at gay people for instanse. They cannot help but be attracted to people of the ... (read in full...)
Dating a guy who's got a past of betrayal
Q. I am dating a guy that i really like but I am desperately afraid because of his recent past. His now ex best friend betrayed him with his ex girlfriend of 7 years. I don't know the details of what happened but I am assuming they must have hooked up ...
A. 8 October 2009: You should really try and stay positive about the relationship you are having now with him. If he is not dragging his past into the relationship, I dont see why you should. You have to trust him and take his word that when he says "The trash is out ... (read in full...)
I accused her of cheating but it was just a friend!
Q. I broke up with girlfriend two months back. i dumped her for cheating on me on facebook but the contact turned out to be her childhood friend only. i did try to win her back but she was just unmoved saying that it was me who dumped her and she stood ...
A. 8 October 2009: When I read your post the only thing that kept coming up in my mind was this post,
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/facebook-is-used-for-cheating.html
I am sorry to hear your jealousy and persecution complex got the best of you, but this gi... (read in full...)
What do older women see in young guys?
Q. I'm really struggling with this concept. I go on another chat forum and there's an 'older' woman in her 50's that sleeps with loads of blokes. She's married, her husband knows she sleeps about. But the bit I find strange is that she sleeps with ...
A. 8 October 2009: I rather not judge the woman in the OPs story as I dont know her. Yes she is married, but it was also said the husband knew. I rather not try and place myself as morally supirior to this woman just because I dont agree with what she is doing. I ... (read in full...)
What do older women see in young guys?
Q. I'm really struggling with this concept. I go on another chat forum and there's an 'older' woman in her 50's that sleeps with loads of blokes. She's married, her husband knows she sleeps about. But the bit I find strange is that she sleeps with ...
A. 7 October 2009: That was weird. I goofed on the last line of the post. I am sorry. I ment to type in that by all means if you are not attracted to younger men that there is nothing wrong with that and you are simply are or are not attracted to someone.
Honni... (read in full...)
What do older women see in young guys?
Q. I'm really struggling with this concept. I go on another chat forum and there's an 'older' woman in her 50's that sleeps with loads of blokes. She's married, her husband knows she sleeps about. But the bit I find strange is that she sleeps with ...
A. 7 October 2009: On a biological standpoint it is also very understandable. Biologically, as women, we are programmed to look for healthy and strong partners. It is pretty much so that when we have sex with them, the likelihood of their sperm will be strong and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants kids, but I don't think I do. How can we get through this?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years now. I'm almost 28 and have two kids, 6-8 from a previous marriage. What is preventing our relationship from progressing is that I have had a vasectomy and am not really sure if I'm going to wan...
A. 7 October 2009: I agree with rhythmanablues on pretty much the everything she had stated apart from the marriage side of it. I knw there are some couples out there that are far better and loving a family without being married than a married couple.
I think yo... (read in full...)
His family are very religious and I'm not. Can this work?
Q. I haven't been one to have many good realonships, over a year ago i had a break down last year over my ex which i had nearly died from as i was treated so badly by my ex but now i have moved on and in a realonship with another guy whos more mature ...
A. 6 October 2009: Oh boy. Mixed religious belief relationships are hard. Generally because partners tend to get offended if they feel the other is not understanding enough or unsincere enough about their beliefs.
I can tell you that they do and can work though. ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my 'friend'?
Q. If you have found a guy you have been involved with has been sending text messages to one of your close girl friends and the friend has not mentioned this inappropriate behavior to you, what should you do? I definitely feel I should confront both ...
A. 6 October 2009: I am a little confused here myself. I just want to see if I am getting this correctly. Are you with him or have you been with him and it is now over? The reason I ask is because if you have been involved with him, past tense, meaning you are ... (read in full...)
Do nice guys even still exist?
Q. I am 19 and I have never been kissed. Or even been on a date. Now that I am in college I want to date but all the guys I meet are more interested in partying and meaningless sex. I do not go to parties and I obviously don't have sex so I don't know ...
A. 6 October 2009: NIce guys are harder to find because they usually are taken. And because they are nice guys, they don't cheat, even if their partner is a complete asshole. Same for the nice girls.
Nice guys put up with alot and so tend to be in relation... (read in full...)
My teenage daughters found my husband's porn and our sex life has been replaced with his fetishes!
Q. After 18 years of marriage my daughters found my husband's porn on his computer, they were thirteen and fifteen. They informed me because they did'nt know what else to do. A few weeks later I was checking why insulation was on the floor and found ...
A. 5 October 2009: Can I ask what is really distressing you about him cross dressing? If that is a hobby of his, what is it that you really dislike about it? What about it is making you uncomfortable? What is the harm in him cross dressing?
I can tell you there ar... (read in full...)
My best friend was raped and I feel really horrible about the situation, how do I deal with this?
Q. Hey everyone... I turned 18, yesterday actually, and I am a beautiful girlfriend who ive had for a year and a half. My best friend is a girl who is very special to me who I've known for yeeeeeears longer then my girlfriend and we see ea...
A. 5 October 2009: Your friend is special to you. When we have special things in our lives we tend to want to preserve them and protect them. You are feeling helpless. You desperately want to make things better for your friend yet you dont know how. Atleast you think ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with her or not?
Q. Ok I got a question for you guys. I really dont have anywhere else to turn to, so I'll try here. A couple of months ago my girlfriend and I bought a pet from this guy. Few months later I saw a friend on her MySpace page that had only her as a ...
A. 5 October 2009: Honest opinion?
She is sorry she got caught. Thats about it really. She is lieing through her teeth and badly I might add. Its all snowballing on her and she now faces the possibility you may leave her for the emotional affair she has pretty m... (read in full...)
Is a live webcam session something I should reasonably be upset about?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14. I am 20 now. We have a 3 year old son and have been living together for 4 years now. The other day he accidently left his computer signed onto a porn site. I do not have a problem with him looking at porn, ...
A. 5 October 2009: It is very good that you stayed calm and very good that you and he have talked about it. He now knows your feelings and now knows if this is done again he is doing it at the risk of the relationship.
He has apologised and seems like you are tryi... (read in full...)
After sex I always feel guilty and disgusted
Q. Hello i am an 18 year old male. Whenever I have sex, Afterwards I always feel guilty and disgusted. Howver, having said this. I am quite a deep thinker and am wondering what this could all be. When I say I am a deep thinker i see things like gurus ...
A. 4 October 2009: Um ok.
I dont know exactly what your problem is, nor what you are trying to get at or why. You say you feel guilty and disgusted after having sex, but one key element I am missing here is the reason. As a free thinker and if I had any feelings... (read in full...)
I don't understand how people have sex
Q. This is kind of a strange question, but i don't really get how people have sex. Like, I understand the penis going into the vagina, and there are different positions, but then how can you tell if some one is good if that's all there is? also, i h...
A. 4 October 2009: Ok. I like to imagine sex as a dance. There are several styles, several steps and with more practice you get better at it.
However, just like with dancing, some people are better than others and it can take a while before you find a partner ... (read in full...)
Is a live webcam session something I should reasonably be upset about?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14. I am 20 now. We have a 3 year old son and have been living together for 4 years now. The other day he accidently left his computer signed onto a porn site. I do not have a problem with him looking at porn, ...
A. 4 October 2009: On first reading this, my first immediate thought was no. I went to my husband and also ask what he though about it and we both agreed no. It wasn't. But this is for us as a couple. We have drawn that line in the sand. To me and to him this is ... (read in full...)
If you have an open relationship, is it possible to cheat?
Q. I wanted to have an open relationship with my boyfriend because he would start getting really clingy and jealous and started alienating me from everything. He said he was okay with the open relatinship because he wanted to do "anything to kee...
A. 4 October 2009: No you did not cheat. He agreed to an open relationship, but very clearly wasn't the type of person to deal with it. For an open relationship to work you need both parties, for one, to NOT be jealous. Jealousy kills even exclusive relationship and ... (read in full...)
Is my brother normal?
Q. Okay, you may feel like i'm interfering in this situation but realy i am just curious as to whether this is normal. My brother is now 21, i am 15... and i no for a fact that he has never had sex, not only has he not had sex but never had a first ...
A. 4 October 2009: He may be gay. Even gay people can admit when female celebrities are sexy. Saying someone of the oposite gender is sexy is not an overall indication someone is straight.
Or he could be religious. He may have moral walls that may keep him from hav... (read in full...)
Could this be classed as consensual sex?
Q. My ex boyfriend always wanted to have sex, and when i told him no, that i didnt want to, he would would always guilt trip me into not actually saying yes, but still let him go through with it. Is that even considered consensual sex? ...
A. 4 October 2009: Legally, yes. If you allow him to do it, that is consensual. On a purely relationship person to person, you were manipulated and it was not. He had no consideration fro your feelings, wishes and you were used.
I would say stay away from this guy... (read in full...)
She's not particularly pretty, so should I end it?
Q. I met a girl over the weekend that I've been talking to online since then. I think her personality is absolutely AMAZING. I LITERALLY can't remember the last time I've had THIS much fun talking to a girl. Ever. And we've both made it clear to each ...
A. 4 October 2009: This is a very good example of why you shouldn't pay attention to what people say. It is also a good example of how people can find the "non traditional" pretty girl.
People can become pretty over time by getting to know the person. IF their pe... (read in full...)
Innocent kissing or infidelity?
Q. I'm not sure how to go about this the right way. I love my boyfriend who I've been dating since January and we've both been good to each other. As August rolled around, I met another man who I developed a crush on. It's a little awkward because we ...
A. 3 October 2009: Um kissing is cheating. A kiss can be just as intimate as any other sexual act. The fact you put a stop to it means you actually have a conscience. I think you have two options here really. You can either a) come clean with your current par... (read in full...)
Facebook is used for cheating?
Q. I get the feeling that facebook is used to cheat on each other. how u guys think?...
A. 3 October 2009: I dont know how other people use it but my husband and I use it to keep in touch with people we know who dont live any where near us and still feel live we are apart of their lives.
That and he and I like playing the Facebook poker thing. That is ... (read in full...)
Are you genuinely happy being single? If so why?
Q. Are you single and stuck in your ways? It seems these days that most people only feel complete if they are in a relationship. I will admit I used to feel the same way. And went from one relationship to the other, quite quickly. I have been single n...
A. 3 October 2009: Hey, whatever floats your boat I say!
I am not single. I am actually very happily married, but some people like being single and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Life is short and you should strive for the things that make you happy.
... (read in full...)
Girls, do you like it when guys wear eyeliner, or "guyliner"?
Q. do girls like it when a guy wears guyliner? i would like girls' opinions. thanks for any responses... ...
A. 3 October 2009: Yes I do. I think its hot.
But as some have pointed out it really depends on the girl. Some girl will think its hot and other girls will think you are a freak. It really doesn't matter though because it should be how you feel about it. If you l... (read in full...)
Why am I dreaming of the world coming to an end?
Q. Hi, its the dream girl again. Last night i had another strange dream. Actually i can remember having this dream about a month ago. I'm in a mall there are a fair amount of people, going about doing there shopping. Then my younger sister says that ...
A. 3 October 2009: Dreams are just dreams. This one is a particular one called a nightmare. When we have a scary encounter in our dream. Our brains are amazing as they can pretty much take the information from our day to day lives and construct any imaginable ... (read in full...)
Does his use of porn effect your relationship?
Q. 1 - Does his use of porn affect how you feel about him and having sex with him? 2 - Have you talked to him about how you feel and what did he say? 3 - What makes him/your relationship so great that you feel you HAVE to accept this if it makes ...
A. 3 October 2009: 1 - Does his use of porn affect how you feel about him and having sex with him?
Nope. Actually from time to time we use the porn together.
2 - Have you talked to him about how you feel and what did he say?
We both talked about it and b... (read in full...)
I dreamt I was getting married, what does this mean?
Q. Hey...its me again.lol.Well I have a quick question its probabaly a dumb one put yesterday I had a dream that I was getting married I don't know what this might mean do you guys have any idea what this dream might mean?? Thanks to whoever takes the ...
A. 3 October 2009: Dreams are just dreams. I find no ultimate meaning in them. Last night I dreamt I was in a Mayan civilisation whos homes were adorn with trees then shifted to the ocean where I was a fish. Then it shifted again to NASA where they were telling me the ... (read in full...)
Should she be worried that she's pregnant?
Q. my best friend, had unproctected sex 7 days before her period but she says that he didnt come or didnt even get his pius in her but now she is 4days late should she be worried...
A. 3 October 2009: 4 days late on your period isn't a major worry to be honest. Being young periods can be very irregular and it is actually really sensitive to the persons body chemistry. If she is stressed or just recently(as you have suggested) become sexually ... (read in full...)
Do guys like pet names?
Q. Hello everyone ! I just wana know do guys like to be called by their name or do they like to be called by something like 'honey' or 'baby' or darling ? ...
A. 3 October 2009: Some guys do some guys don't to be honest. I mean with my husband I have given him a myriad of pet names ranging from the "sweetpea" to "honey bunny snuggle monster." I can tell you he always laughed that the names because he is Norwegian and half ... (read in full...)
Would you consider her a slut?
Q. Would you consider her a slut? She has slept with 6 different guys Not including me..So Thats 7... Fron the age of 15- to almost 18 in a few months. One was a serious relationship but cheated on him with two different people includding a si...
A. 3 October 2009: Its not sexist at all. If anything you are using a sexist word itself to discribe a sexually promiscuous female. If you gender reverse the role you would not call a man a slut you would just not agree and men dont normally get half this much ... (read in full...)
Caught my b/f with vibrator! What do I do now?
Q. I got out of work early and thought I would surprise my b/f I been dating for a year now by showing up at his apartment last Sunday afternoon. I have a key so I let myself in. I didn't think he was home because the house was quiet. I went to his ...
A. 3 October 2009: Hello there, Well, this is certainly something I am sure you weren't expecting, but now you know and I am sure both of you are getting tired of this silence. I think it would be best if you sent him a text message, as I am sure he is wait... (read in full...)
Like father, like son, in sexual habits! Should I talk to him or be worried?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and have since the very beginning been very comfortable and sexually open with one another, more so than any of our previous relationships. He has several unique fetishes and I've never thought much of ...
A. 2 October 2009: You know, the fact that you are open with your partner and he is with you, you are providing him with a safe zone. You are giving him acceptance and providing him with comfort his father probably never got. Being kinky or freaky is just part of ... (read in full...)
Why use my pictures when he has access to much sexier porn ones?
Q. My boyfriend tells me that he loves to masturbate to half-naked pictures of me. I take this as a compliment, but I wonder; why would he use pictures of me when he has access to porn where the girls are fully naked and much sexier? Is he just ...
A. 2 October 2009: He is attracted to you and really likes you. You are real, porn is not. There is a very very big difference between porn and the real deal.... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and she's 27
Q. My Girl says I'm more sexually active than most Men her age. Shes 4 years older than me and we've been together for 2 years now. We're both deep in love. She says I'm more powerful penetrating her. But I can only last up to 45 minutes before I cum ...
A. 2 October 2009: 45 minutes is actually very good. I would say that in your twenties you do have alot more stamina than older men(unless they work out and take care of themselves). However that is not always the case. That would be my answer to your question.
... (read in full...)
Would you consider her a slut?
Q. Would you consider her a slut? She has slept with 6 different guys Not including me..So Thats 7... Fron the age of 15- to almost 18 in a few months. One was a serious relationship but cheated on him with two different people includding a si...
A. 2 October 2009: No I wouldn't consider her a slut at all. Just like the post before, that is her past and her past is what makes her who she is today.
Presumably you like who she is otherwise you wouldn't be interested in her.
Either you accept who she i... (read in full...)
How do I hose him down?
Q. hi..umm. i've been trieg to squirt for about 2 years now and recently my bf told me he wanted to have sex and said that he loves girls who squirt...so can you please help me i've rubbed my clit until i felt like a had to pee..then i pushed out..and ...
A. 9 July 2009: I would say if you haven't experienced a squirt when you have climaxed before, you are one of the majority of women who don't. It is definetly not considered the norm so I wouldn't try to push it if I were you.
Female ejaculation is consider... (read in full...)
An Open Letter to All My Friends and Loved Ones....
Q. To All My Friends and Loved Ones.... It is time to say goodbye. My usefulness here is depleted. I have enjoyed every minute of it and have been so fortunate to meet the people I have! I may be back someday...I don't know for sure. But right ...
A. 9 July 2009: All the best!... (read in full...)
I don't want to use birth control and don't want her to get pregnant
Q. when is it ok for me to cum inside my girl???wit no pill and no condoms.. and please dont tell me to use a condom cuz its not the same and i dont want to hear .make her take pills.. ...
A. 7 July 2009: Its simple. Use birth control or you will get pregnant. Hence the words birth control meaning you are controlling the chances of the birthing process. If you dont want to hear condom and you dont wanna hear make her take pills I have 3 other op... (read in full...)
I want a tattoo in remembrance of my grandfather
Q. ok. I have been thinking about this one for a very long time. My grandpa died a year and about 4 months ago and i would rlly like to get a tat in rememberance of him. he kind of lost himself because he had alzheimer's so most of my life h...
A. 7 July 2009: Well, you should really ask your parents first what they think of the idea and if they would be willing to let you have a small tattoo on your body. The idea it is going towards is a nobel one, but remember tattoos are permanent. You cant wash them ... (read in full...)
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