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... Send *ena Bullock a private message | | | *ena Bullock's profile:I hope most people see that because age stands for experience; it helps to have 'been there, done that' in order to relate to others and hopefully give meaningful advice.
I feel that in this site some of you may find me crast, old-fashioned and unfeeling, but I do feel for those who really try to help themselves. Some of your writings don't give enough details, so questions have to be asked in order for me to connect with what you are dealing with. I hope you understand.
I think the younger generation doesn't appreciate what the older ones share with them; however, it IS the best advice. I know God is there for me and will be for you IF you ask HIS help.
I'm attached and very happy-the second half of my life will be more meaningful and cautious. After 26 years of marriage/divorced, it's time for me to live and enjoy what is left of my life. ME time!
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My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 1 July 2008: NO! SHE CANNOT DO THIS!!!! You are to talk to your attorney and tell him/her what she has told you--do you not have a settlement agreement signed giving you legal visitation on set weekends/holidays yet? This is something you must do in order to ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 24 June 2008: Dear,
You need to not do the drug thing...you'll only feel sluggish and not your real self. I never took one pill during my leave of my ex...didn't have lil' ones to leave behind; however, I have a 21 year old that still comes around~I kept her... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 20 June 2008: Going back for the sake of the children isn't the right answer...you stayed for the sake of the children to begin with, remember? Keep on the same trek you're making now and start a new life. It's been too long and you need to clear your conscience ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 29 May 2008: When I was married, it was harder to be with someone who I knew had cheated on me time and time again...when he was over me in bed and staring into my eyes, all I could see was him looking and me and thinking about the other women he'd been ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 28 March 2008: Okay, now. She's going through with this and its not only for her benefit, but yours and the marriage as well. YOU need to give it this last push or you'll be just giving her another reason to 'give up' and shut things down.
You got her this far... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 14 March 2008: BFG~
You are apart and now you feel some relief. If she has the gastric bypass surgery, there is a chance she may not pull through due to her obesity and the risk of anesthesia. I had a friend die who was as large as she right afterwards. And I've... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for donating my eggs even if it makes my boyfriend mad?
Q. Today I saw a show on TLC about great people, great couples not being able to have children and it broke my heart. I have a son and I'm not wanting to do the pregnancy thing over again but I cant help but want to help. I'm a full-time student and I ...
A. 14 March 2008: Eighteen doesn't mean you make GOOD decisions; it isn't the 'magic number' for teens to be all grown up, so--you get OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. Your mum should have whipped you good when you were little instead of letting you talk so rudely to those you ... (read in full...)
What ideas do you have for us to talk to her parents constructively about our age gap?
Q. Hi, I am 32 and she is 17. We are having issues with her parents agreeing for us to see each other. I realize everyone has their opinion on my intent and her being young, but that isn't the question. My intent is for us to be together. ...
A. 14 March 2008: You already having 2 daughters is all the more reason NOT to get involved with a young lady who is closer in age to your daughters! How crast is that?... (read in full...)
Why do I keep bleeding? Is this normal?
Q. PLEASE HELP I lost my virginity last monday, with hardly any blood after more like a spot, anyway since last thursday I've been bleeding after sex and on saturday and last night (weds) I bled during sex, it's blood like from a period, but no pain ...
A. 13 March 2008: You may want to check with a gynocologist just to be safe. I don't think it is anything to be alarmed about; however, better get an answer from a professional. I don't think he/she is going to tell you not to have sex again. No worries there, but if ... (read in full...)
Does she really like me, or should I get over her?
Q. Hi all, I'm in a really awkward situation at the moment. I've known this girl for 4 years. We were close friends for 3 of them, but I've been getting attracted to her more and more over the past year. I'm a virgin, and she's already had sex wi...
A. 13 March 2008: You two have been close friends for a long time; however, it is obvious that she is interested in the opposite sex, or so you think. I would suggest talking to her about your feelings and not make any moves on her that could damage the relation... (read in full...)
Is there any physical harm in giving or receiving a golden shower?
Q. My husband and I have a great relationship. We have been married 24 years and our only child is on his own now. We have always been open to "suggestions" as long as it doesn't hurt the other or both physically. We always agreed to try what the ...
A. 13 March 2008: You two have had a great relationship from the 'get go', so why stop now? Enjoy each other and relish the time alone now that the nest is 'empty.' Life's too short! Gena... (read in full...)
How common is it for a guy to give his girlfriend oral sex?
Q. How common is it for a guy to give his girlfriend oral sex? My girlfriend says she wants it but I don't know if I'm ready. Any advice would help. Thanks....
A. 13 March 2008: I don't know the statistics or if there are any for that question; however, I think it is between the partners to decide and experiment as to what feels right one to the other. What have you got to lose? I would suggest taking a nice bath together... (read in full...)
I really loved the way my girlfriend looked when we first met but I don't find her attractive any more.
Q. We've been going out for about 1 1/2 yrs and we live together. We did just have a baby about 4 mos ago. I do love her and the baby and i don't want to jeopordize our relationship but i can't get into her physically because i'm just not attracted to ...
A. 13 March 2008: You loved her in the beginning for other reasons, obviously. Now, because of the physical changes, you are more aware since the birth. Suggestion: Why not buy her a few tanning sessions as a gift along with lotions, sunglasses, body gels, perfumes... (read in full...)
Please suggets whether to carry relationship with her or not????
Q. I am a 26 year old guy in love with a 27 year old girl and she shows that she loves me more.. but her nature is very practical and professional as she can do anything for her job and whenever we spend emotional time she immediately switches to ...
A. 13 March 2008: NOT...she isn't being honest with you. Let her go and find someone you really deserve. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't honest?... (read in full...)
Tips on how to be more intimate?
Q. Hi I'm Ebony, I'm 15 and I'm a virgin. I've been with my boyfriend now for 2 months, he's the same age, but we've been talking about sex. I don't know if I'm ready or not, I know it's illegal and I know about the STD's and risk of pregnancy etc. I...
A. 13 March 2008: The last thing I would think anyone on this blog would do is to teach minors how to have intimate relations online. You are right in your second paragraph--you KNOW it is illegal and STD's and risk of pregnancy, etc. Why not get to know each other ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should ask her out?
Q. I'm a 14 year old boy and she is 13 do you think it would be the wrong age to go out with her, I met this girl last year we met through a friend and we have seen each other about 2 times but we always talk on msn and bebo. She said stuff like "love ...
A. 13 March 2008: This is cute. Puppy love can be so endearing. I know you feel serious about all of this, but it a passing fancy. In other words, she probably is crazy about you NOW, but tomorrow it could be different. If you really want to know something, ... (read in full...)
At times he is nice, at time he calls me nasty names. What do you think?
Q. I am seeing guy who is like two people sometimes he is very nice and then later he calls me a s___ and a w____ and says that I am fooling around which I am not. Is there any hope of him calming down and being always nice?...
A. 13 March 2008: It sounds like your friend could be bi-polar. Do you know if he has been diagnosed or is taking medications? I would be careful in a situation like this. Unless they have it under control, you are best not to have to deal with the behavior. It can ... (read in full...)
Dealing with a wounded ego after I bested my BF
Q. I think my BF is being really pissy over something I didn't think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even ...
A. 13 March 2008: I'd say, "Break a leg" and go for it! He's a glutton for punishment-then, so be it. Good luck! ;-)... (read in full...)
Pads vs. tampons
Q. Okay well im just curiouse. I just started using tampons, and I actualy like this better than pads. There much easier to deal with, and the pads bunch up and I get uncomfterable. I asked some of my friends and they said none of them liked tampons, ...
A. 13 March 2008: To each his own, I say. I used pads first, then tampons and sometimes tampons and mini pads together! It is what you feel most comfortable with. The others don't matter.
You are NOT weird, just independent! And that is a good thing!... (read in full...)
Does our ages and age difference count?
Q. hello everyone, i really need help. i'm 15 and there's a friend who lives on my street, i have knew him since i was about 6. (he is 13 now by the way so i'm 2 years older). we both fancy eachother. do you think it would be right for us to have sex ...
A. 13 March 2008: Are you crazy? Leave the boy alone. You both are too young to even be thinking about such things. Go to a movie with your parents or something. Shame on you for even thinking of forcing the issue. ... (read in full...)
When did I conceive my baby?
Q. I had my baby on February 28, when would I have conceived him?...
A. 13 March 2008: Track back 9 1/2 months ago on a calendar. ... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 13 March 2008: Why would you not be more careful about getting pregnant the second time around in the first place with the same man? If there is no real relationship, why be so irresponsible? It sounds to me like you are trying to trap him into a relationship that ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my disrespectful and obsessive wife?
Q. My wife and I are in our early 40’s, we have been married for 3 years, and have a 20 month old son. Things have been difficult for us since our son was born. Both of us have done and said things to each other that are totally out of character for ...
A. 13 March 2008: You don't dare give up on yourself, and your son. Do seek counseling for yourself. Start there. Stand up for who you are and what you believe in. You are a good father and caring husband--she has issues that are not your fault and beyond your ... (read in full...)
I'm really depressed and want to runaway..
Q. I'm a 13rd old girl. I'm in gr.8 so I am still in public school I've been going through alot in my life lately. I've just been a really sad, lonely, depressed young girl. Even at school recess, i'm all alone outside. I've been crying alot when I'm ...
A. 13 March 2008: Not at all. Talk to the guidance counselor at your school.
Start there first, especially if you can't talk to your family. You will have an understanding and professional person to talk to and guide you in the right direction.
Keep in touch!... (read in full...)
Help me choose between my boyfriend and my best friend!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years, we split for about a year and I dated my best friend. I love them both but differently. I think that there is more passion and compassion with my best friend but I feel guilty if I leave my boyfriend and ...
A. 13 March 2008: Dear Confused:
Follow your heart. YOU Will know which is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Stand back and write a list of positive things about each, then a negative list about each.
Then, think about the thing you like mos... (read in full...)
40, confused and wondering...
Q. Hello to all my very encouraging readers Here's an update...and a question! 7 months ago I moved to london like I said I would and have been lucky enough to find enough work.I have been applying for MA's in painting.I got an interview at a...
A. 13 March 2008: You just haven't found the right person for you--your soul mate, that's all. I wouldn't get tied up with another man until you know it is right for you and visa versa. Believe me, you WILL KNOW when the time is right! Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Not sexually active but I haven't had my period in almost 6 months, what's wrong with me?
Q. I haven't had my period in over 5-6 months!! And I am not sexually active!! Is something wrong with me? ...
A. 13 March 2008: you are young...your body is in a hormonal turmoil attempting to 'grow up', so give it time and don't stress yourself about it. IF you aren't active, then it could be that you are too thin? Weight has a lot to do with when and how your periods ... (read in full...)
Do guys get turned off by pubic hair?
Q. Do guys get turned off by pubic hair? Im 16 and im scared guys wil think im dirty. plz help ...
A. 13 March 2008: NO, you'd be surprised at how many guys will love it. Don't shave, it's a pain. Also, don't start so young.
Give yourself time to 'grow up' mentally, even if you are physically apparently 'mature.' You have plenty of time for sex...believe me.... (read in full...)
My ex found out she is HIV positive. If I am infected, how do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. A few days ago, I got a series of rather disturbing test messages on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize. After a little searching around, I found out that it was an ex-girlfriend whom I was on bad terms with. Long story short, the ...
A. 13 March 2008: First, get the facts. If it is negative, tell your girlfriend anyway what your ex has been doing. She is obviously still venting on the past relationship regardless of whether it is true or not. Don't lose your cool.
If it is positive, tell ever... (read in full...)
I got these sores on my tongue after going down on a guy, is it serious or could it be something else?
Q. my question is about some sores that have developed recently on my tongue. a few days ago i messed around with this guy friend of mine, first time we ever did anything. We kissed and stuff and i went down on him, and now since yesterday evening my ...
A. 13 March 2008: You may have contracted herpes. I might suggest seeing a doctor to determine this. Don't worry, you're not the first one to see a doctor for something like this--if your boyfriend is not telling you something, this could be a permanent thing for you ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my disrespectful and obsessive wife?
Q. My wife and I are in our early 40’s, we have been married for 3 years, and have a 20 month old son. Things have been difficult for us since our son was born. Both of us have done and said things to each other that are totally out of character for ...
A. 13 March 2008: Where did you find this woman? Jeesh!
She obviously has an imbalance in her hormones-she needs counseling and you do too to have put up with her outlandish ideals and controlling mannerisms. It's just plain ridiculous.
do you ever have family v... (read in full...)
Would it be alright if we used a condom?
Q. i have just recently started going out with this 17 year old...hes in the army!! that doesnt bother me in anyway. in told my dad and his fiancee and they were fine considering my stepsister is going out with his little brother, so they know the ...
A. 13 March 2008: Don't do anything--especially have sex at your age. Go to church and cool your heels. Save yourself for the right time and the right person. This is all a hormonal issue.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF your family's trust if you go through with it. ... (read in full...)
Does this mean my teacher like me? My friends threaten to tell another teacher of our supposedly inappropriate relation.
Q. I know it's another teacher situation but help would be much appreciated … I’ve had a pretty rough year – the loss of my Nan triggered a huge bout of depression which hasn’t really left me but through it all I’ve had my teacher helped me through....
A. 13 March 2008: If I knew who this blok was, I'd punch him. He's obviously taking advantage of your weak moments. Stay away from him before this gets out of hand. He'll lose his job, you'll lose a teacher and be the talk of the school! You DON'T want that. Plus, ... (read in full...)
Trouble getting "hard". Is this common?
Q. I had trouble getting hard with my girlfriend totally out of the blue whilst we were fooling around. This has never happened before should I be worried?...
A. 13 March 2008: Maybe you're thinking to much about it when you're in the middle of things. Relax and have her put more foreplay into the moment. That should smooth things over......... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend and he wants to have sex with me...
Q. Recently this 22 year old guy has been flirting with me, I know him from a friend. I know he wants to have sex with me but I'm unsure wether to or not. Because your first time is supposed to be special, I know it's illegal, but I really like him. He ...
A. 13 March 2008: Have some respect for yourself and leave it alone. You are better than that. He obviously isn't.... (read in full...)
What is BAD sex to you?
Q. What, to you, constitutes "lackluster" sex?...
A. 13 March 2008: Him just ejaculating after 1/2 dozen strokes and rolling over asking "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"... (read in full...)
I'm losing a good man to date others who are just after one thing. Am I crazy?
Q. ok i need advise, please don't judge me: i've been in a relationship for almost 2years, we were close friends and i loved him and i still love him, i just think i'm not in love with him. I'm full of guilt because i have been dating as if i was single...
A. 13 March 2008: You are obviously not ready for a lasting relationship. Break it off and sew your wild oats for a while. If it was meant to be, and he accepts, so get back with him and make it last.(monogomously)... (read in full...)
Are these signs he wants me to leave (moving away my things)?
Q. i've been really stressed out over this the past few days and today just made it worse-pls help me!! been with my bf for 3 years. we are both 29 but I have 3 girls from a previous marriage. he's never had a live-in gf and i'm his longest relation...
A. 13 March 2008: First of all you need to calm down and get a grip. Second, if he's moving things around of yours in his apartment then that's a sign he contempating ending the relationship. He KNOWS you have a key, so don't be surprised if (with your constant ... (read in full...)
He broke up so he could party during his last semester of school without worrying about me, his exact words! Do I accept him back??
Q. I was with my bf for a year and a half and he wanted a break so he could go and party his last semester of law school without worrying about me (his exact words). Before he left we were having problems and we tried to fix them and three times he ...
A. 13 March 2008: Answer: NO... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for donating my eggs even if it makes my boyfriend mad?
Q. Today I saw a show on TLC about great people, great couples not being able to have children and it broke my heart. I have a son and I'm not wanting to do the pregnancy thing over again but I cant help but want to help. I'm a full-time student and I ...
A. 13 March 2008: You are TOO young to make such decisions. Your boyfriend is just a boyfriend, not a husband so what you do is your business; however, I am sure your parents would NOT approve of such a thing and at your age, the thought is 'sweet' but nothing more. ... (read in full...)
Can you becoming pregnant if you swallow?
Q. Can you become pregnant if you swallow cum? I was just wondering. Thank you very much....
A. 13 March 2008: I HOPE you are kidding? Can you imagine what the gastric juices in your stomach does to anything you eat? There is NO WAY you can get pregnant by swallowing semen. Period.... (read in full...)
What ideas do you have for us to talk to her parents constructively about our age gap?
Q. Hi, I am 32 and she is 17. We are having issues with her parents agreeing for us to see each other. I realize everyone has their opinion on my intent and her being young, but that isn't the question. My intent is for us to be together. ...
A. 13 March 2008: I have to agree with the other person who answered your question...32 versus 17 is a huge gap in maturity and your sex drive must be cranking! I suggest, as the other parent did that you get over it and find someone closer your age or at least of ... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend handle depression and the past when she won't talk to me about it??
Q. hello, im here out of concern, i have a really loving and awsome gf. we have great communication skills and it is really easy for us to talk and be together...but for the past month i feel that she has receeded into a form of depression..due to ...
A. 13 March 2008: First of all, if you two have great communication skills, then it should be easy for her to talk to you about anything at any time. Second, could it be something that's happened at home that has demeaned her sexually--a stepfather, perhaps or are ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up my rape fantasy with him?
Q. How do I bring up my rape fantasy? I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, I trust him and love him but i'm a little scared about how to tell him i have a rape fantasy. He's told me his other fantasies and we do some pretty outrageous sexual a...
A. 13 March 2008: Rape...definition:the act of seizing and carrying away by force.
Now, if you want to put on some slinky outfit and tease him and tell him you want to have him rape you, then do so!
If he refuses, the respect that and forget the idea. Do the idea... (read in full...)
My husband is in love with his affair but determined to work on our marriage! How do I convince him thsi woman is not as perfect as appears to him?
Q. When I found out about my husband's affair 2 months ago we decided to go to relate and try to work out a better marriage for us both. And although it's been hard we have made progress and have learnt a lot about each other. we have been married 21 ...
A. 11 March 2008: Listen, this time next year you won't be in the mess you're in now. Give him the space he must have in order to realize that YOU are the one he really wants. You have to do this or you'll regret you didn't. The children will do fine, just be there... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend split with me after 6 years and I am very low
Q. Hi all, Well, where do I start. Let me give you some background information. I was with my ex-girlfriend for over 6 years and she split with me last weekend, 1st March. It was her choice, we split as she thought we didn't feel right and...
A. 11 March 2008: I'm glad you have 'mum' to be there for you, although she isn't going to help solve the problem. First of all, shake off feelings of dispair. Your friend is in a crisis of sorts-she needs her space. Let her have it. Give it some time. Is she nearby ... (read in full...)
She doesn't feel the same way... how can we still be friends?
Q. I am male and I am deeply in love with by best friend (female). She has known for years how I feel and has made it clear that she doesn't feel the same way which I respect. However, we have stayed close friends. We go on holiday together, she cooks ...
A. 11 March 2008: Sounds like you need to not hold on so hard. You already have a good relationship with her. Have you talked to her about the seriousness of your feelings for her? How does she respond when you tell her how you really feel? If she isn't interest... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 11 March 2008: First of all, why wouldn't your wife want to do something about her obesity? It is obvious you are reaching out for help. Has she considered counseling with you? Have you? Go that route and get back to me...that'll answer a big question I have. Th... (read in full...)
What do women 'really' think about blowjobs and swallowing semen?
Q. I'm wandering what women think of performing oral sex on men? Do women actually spend time thinking about or desiring to do it or is it merely something they do for the pleasure of their man? I know it varies from person to person but I kno...
A. 11 March 2008: This is a real stickler of a question... no pun intended. To each his own or, er, her own--I say. Most women probably do it because it pleases their partner; some do it because they really do like it and the small few could care less if they ever ... (read in full...)
My husband is in love with his affair but determined to work on our marriage! How do I convince him thsi woman is not as perfect as appears to him?
Q. When I found out about my husband's affair 2 months ago we decided to go to relate and try to work out a better marriage for us both. And although it's been hard we have made progress and have learnt a lot about each other. we have been married 21 ...
A. 11 March 2008: Lordy, woman. I could write a book. Been there, done that. 1) stop this nonsense and end it. He obviously has issues that he cannot deal with two relationships at once. Nor can you! 2)You cannot make someone change unless they want to change themse... (read in full...)
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