A
male
age
41-50,
*astcoast
writes:We've been going out for about 1 1/2 yrs and we live together. We did just have a baby about 4 mos ago. I do love her and the baby and i don't want to jeopordize our relationship but i can't get into her physically because i'm just not attracted to her anymore. She's a pretty girl but maybe it's just cause of the pregnancy and she'll get back into shape and ....?? She's really fair skinned and it seems to bother me. I know it's shallow. I just want some help on how to correct my thoughts for the benefit of my two girls( daughter and child). She's the best in every other aspect but the physical aspects. Please help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jmo +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Damn you sound shallow. However, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not a jackass. Maybe if you take her out every once and a while, make her FEEL pretty, make her feel appreciated, not only will she feel more compelled to be pretty for you but her confidence will make her seem more attractive to you. She's just given birth 4 mos ago, give the damn girl a boost of confidence and it will go a long way. I promise. And give her some time.
-Jmo
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Come on....how selfish! Give it some time mate!
Shes has just had your baby. This is real life it aint the same as what you read in the papers with them celebrities model etc. 4 months and youv'e lost attraction for her! give her time.
You should never have got her pregnant if you were only with her for her pre pregnancy looks.
The only advice I can give is show her that she is beautiful no matter what!
You should be showing her you love her no matter what. She probally can sense that things are not the same! You are a man and maybe you cannot comprehend what her body has been through but dont be shallow and have some understanding.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): FYI - tanning, espically tanning salons, is a major cause of skin cancer. It also increases premature aging.
If you really don't like her 'fair' skin then look at fake tanning, cause cancer really isn't pretty.
http://www.cancer.gov/newscenter/tip-sheet-tanning-booths
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (13 March 2008):
 You loved her in the beginning for other reasons, obviously. Now, because of the physical changes, you are more aware since the birth. Suggestion:Why not buy her a few tanning sessions as a gift along with lotions, sunglasses, body gels, perfumes, etc in a nice Easter basket? You babysit the girl while she takes time for her sessions.Also, buy her a bikini and make plans to go the the beach for a weekend in June. Let her know this too, that you want to spend time with only her. Make her feel special again, and she'll come around. Love her with all your heart and SHOW it. You'll be surprised!Best and keep in touch, Gena
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 March 2008):
 It takes 9 months to get your body all stretched out of shape and at least that much time to get it back together. Your baby is only 4 months old! Jeeze cut her some slack Dude. Help her out in anyway you can, watch the baby while she goes to the gym or takes a walk or even better yet while she takes a nap. Since you know you are being shallow I won't mention it...oops!
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