A
female
age
30-35,
*bonyParker
writes:Hi I'm Ebony, I'm 15 and I'm a virgin.I've been with my boyfriend now for 2 months, he's the same age, but we've been talking about sex.I don't know if I'm ready or not, I know it's illegal and I know about the STD's and risk of pregnancy etc. I was just wondering if you had any tips on how to be more intimate without actually having sex. We're both virgins and pretty clueless when it comes to physically.. touching eachother.Please reply,Thanks x
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female
reader, EbonyParker +, writes (14 March 2008):
EbonyParker is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the help.
I know what Gena is trying to say, I am young and I don't know half the stuff she will know, but I took everyones information on board, and me and my boyfriend are more intimate now :)
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I completely agree with what LJ001 has said. She's right, adults are often very unhelpful when answering questions like this on dearcupid. At the end of the day, the questions on this site are looking for friendly help and support, not patronising 'you are a child' lectures. Even if you are a minor, you clearly have a sensible head on your shoulders, you know the risks, how to protect yourself and you know not to do anything until you feel you are ready and that comes down to personal choice, no matter what anyone tells you. Just do what feels right and what you feel comfortable with. Everything will just happen naturally :) but if you do have sex, always make sure you use the necessary protection, the consequences can be far too severe for you to not take care of yourself. Message if you would like a chat xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I like how you used the words "intimate without actually having sex." Intimacy is not sex, and so many times people confuse it with sex. You can get intimate DURING sex, but sex is not intimacy itself.
Anyways, you could make out, kiss, hold hands, rub his back with lotion, and he could possibly do the same for you. Whisper in his ear. All sorts of things!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): To be honest, 'Gena Bullock' has a right to say that, but I think 'adults' only say things like that to 'kids' because they actually have no idea what it feels like. All they do is look at your age and BANG suddenly you're this horny little child wanting sex. It's so untrue! Yet this is all they believe, you're too young for this, you're too young for that etc etc. Someone needs to shut them up sometimes!
Ee anyways lol.
It's still always good to hear you're aware of the risks, coz let me tell you this honey they ain't nice. But you could always try making out if you haven't done that so far. Kiss more passionately, 'caressing' his back, or running your hands gently through his hair. You could invite him round to yours to cuddle up together and watch a movie. Hold hands in public maybe? It's not seen as particularly intimate, but it does actually bring you closer I believe :] Even kisses in public - obviously not bang in the middle of where everyone is, practically having sex with your mouths lol but just sweet little kisses every now and again. Lots of hugs is always cool :] and if you really want to go this far, he could finger you or you could give him a handjob. Before you do this though, try and make clear to him you have no intention of this leading on to anything. Guys can get carried away with themselves sometimes :] But whatever you do, don't be pressured into anything ok honey, good luck :]
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 The last thing I would think anyone on this blog would do is to teach minors how to have intimate relations online. You are right in your second paragraph--you KNOW it is illegal and STD's and risk of pregnancy, etc. Why not get to know each other as people instead of having physical contact? If your parents permit it, go to the movies or ball games.Intergrate with other fellow classmates, the library--study together. Go to church and get involved in activities for your age group. Learn to like each other before getting serious. It could turn into something wonderful years from now! That would be the right thing to do. Build a friendship first, the rest will follow. Gena
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