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... Send *ena Bullock a private message | | | *ena Bullock's profile:I hope most people see that because age stands for experience; it helps to have 'been there, done that' in order to relate to others and hopefully give meaningful advice.
I feel that in this site some of you may find me crast, old-fashioned and unfeeling, but I do feel for those who really try to help themselves. Some of your writings don't give enough details, so questions have to be asked in order for me to connect with what you are dealing with. I hope you understand.
I think the younger generation doesn't appreciate what the older ones share with them; however, it IS the best advice. I know God is there for me and will be for you IF you ask HIS help.
I'm attached and very happy-the second half of my life will be more meaningful and cautious. After 26 years of marriage/divorced, it's time for me to live and enjoy what is left of my life. ME time!
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My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 1 July 2008: NO! SHE CANNOT DO THIS!!!! You are to talk to your attorney and tell him/her what she has told you--do you not have a settlement agreement signed giving you legal visitation on set weekends/holidays yet? This is something you must do in order to ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 24 June 2008: Dear,
You need to not do the drug thing...you'll only feel sluggish and not your real self. I never took one pill during my leave of my ex...didn't have lil' ones to leave behind; however, I have a 21 year old that still comes around~I kept her... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 20 June 2008: Going back for the sake of the children isn't the right answer...you stayed for the sake of the children to begin with, remember? Keep on the same trek you're making now and start a new life. It's been too long and you need to clear your conscience ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 29 May 2008: When I was married, it was harder to be with someone who I knew had cheated on me time and time again...when he was over me in bed and staring into my eyes, all I could see was him looking and me and thinking about the other women he'd been ... (read in full...)
How is an abortion done?
Q. I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am.. Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much....
A. 9 April 2008: Thanks, honey... I was worried things were worse than what you feel. Hang in there. Time will heal things and you'll be better before too long. Like some of the other gals said, your baby (like my 3-2 misscarriages and one abortion) are in heaven ... (read in full...)
How is an abortion done?
Q. I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am.. Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much....
A. 8 April 2008: what is wrong,??????????????????
Gena... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 28 March 2008: Okay, now. She's going through with this and its not only for her benefit, but yours and the marriage as well. YOU need to give it this last push or you'll be just giving her another reason to 'give up' and shut things down.
You got her this far... (read in full...)
Painfull sex, sugestions please!!!
Q. I've slept with my bf of 6 months now for the 1st time about 4 months ago now, but every attempt at sex since and including then has either been painful for him or I'm just not getting anything out of it. We've tried so many different position some ...
A. 17 March 2008: Your BF needs to get a physical. He is too young to be having such 'pains' so there may be something physcial going on that needs tending to. Go with him for support.
Good luck. There's nothing more frustrating and if you care, you'll help him see ... (read in full...)
Ex made video on youtube saying I have emotional problems! Now he's saying he still loves me, what does all this mean?
Q. My stupid ex had a youtube video made about us about 6 months ago and for the comments he put things like how i had emotional problems and that's why we're not together. Truthfully, though, I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive. ...
A. 14 March 2008: "how he still loves me very much and how he hopes that someday we will find happiness with each other."
Well, he still wants the relationship and the CONTROL over you. Don't fall for this garbage. He can't get to you any other way, so he's try... (read in full...)
I feel like a slave but he doesn't hit me too hard so maybe he will be better after we have children...
Q. My husband comes from a family where the men are always in charge. He was very nice to me when we were dating and after we got married he changed like he thinks he is my master. I feel like a slave sometimes and if I don't do what I am supposed to ...
A. 14 March 2008: I think you need to have your head examined if you think it's okay for a man to hit you, no matter how or where! It is inappropriate and uncalled for. He's a control freak and having a baby is the LAST THING you should do. Talk about misery loving ... (read in full...)
Can men fall in love with the woman they lose their virginity to?
Q. Can men fall in love with the woman they lose their vigrinity to? I've seen it happen with women at a young age, my boyfriend was a virgin and after we started having sex he completely changed and dropped the i love you's two months later. ...
A. 14 March 2008: greener pastures, I guess? You were the first and now he wants to try it elsewhere........happens all the time.... (read in full...)
Please tell me how can I get through this heartache?
Q. I'm quite young, actually, and I do think I'm too young to experience actual love. But, I've been suffering through unrequited love for 3 years. It seemed great to have a friend who I had this feeling about. But I guess I was too late, and someth...
A. 14 March 2008: This type of thing comes and goes at your age. Just be friends and be content that you have him as just that--a friend. Later in years, he may come back to really like you, but he's too young (and you are too) to be this serious. I know it hurts ... (read in full...)
Very attracted to my cousin, should I act on it?
Q. i really like my cousin she and i are both 15 and i think she really likes me also. i desperately wanna kiss her make out and all that stuff because shes got nice boobs nice posterior hot body unbelievable attractive face. what should i do, i just ...
A. 14 March 2008: Kissin' cousins, eh? Been there, done that too. It's just infatuation. Get over it. I never kissed my cousin; he was good looking though and we were about your age too. I also had a crush on my half uncle who was only seven years older than me back ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: You didn't give an age group, so here goes. She's being catty and playing you. Be careful. Block her emails AND tell her you prefer she NOT send you such explicit literature/jokes/etc.
If it is offensive, nip it in the bud. You'll be doing yo... (read in full...)
How much weight could I lose between now and Easter?
Q. Similar question was asked earlier, but... I'm around 5' 5" and weigh 116. I really would like to lose weight by Easter, because I'm fat. I'm restricting my food again because I lost a lot of weight when I did this last summer and fall. Unfortunat...
A. 14 March 2008: I'm 5'3" and 119 and I AM NOT FAT. So, you have anorexic issues my dear. See a doctor and get help. ... (read in full...)
Obligation to disclose your relationship status?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a dilemma. I moved to a new town a couple of months. It's a beautiful old romantic town. I came here to start working at this company. I moved across an ocean to get here. I didn't have any intention of dating anyone...
A. 14 March 2008: Let her know what you've been told and by whom and then ask her about it. Communication is the key.... (read in full...)
First he want's me to move in, then he changes his mind.
Q. Im 43 and I have been dating a guy of 40 for the last 4 moths. We have both been through painful divorces and we got close very quickly. He said he thought I was an amazing person and he was happy with me. He said in the near future he would like me ...
A. 14 March 2008: Take him with you. Encourage him. If you two are with low self esteem, beef him up and ask his opinion. Tell him the garage or den is his to fix up how he wants...offer suggestions, pull him into the site seeing party and see what happens. After ... (read in full...)
Is she telling the truth, I don't know what to think!
Q. my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a coworker. the coworker emailed me about it and told me so. i asked her and she denied it saying that she and the coworker didnt get along so the email was the coworkers way of fucking with her life. i ...
A. 14 March 2008: Is this something new or what? Obviously she has some issues with porn that you don't approve of. If you accepted it in the beginning, you can't very well ask her to stop now, can you? The issue of having a relationship that is over the top with her... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking of him! Am I going crazy?
Q. i spent the night over my friends house for 2 weekends straight.a lot of dudes came over one was cute, but i ended up having sex with one of them we only did it 5 times together,he was the best sex i have ever had! he really likes me but i think ...
A. 14 March 2008: You were one of many, honey. Get over it.... (read in full...)
How can I marry someone and have the thought that my wife has slept with someone else and I haven't?
Q. Hello I dated a girl for about 4 months. We fell in love quickly. We always saw each other before our relationship. She's my best friend's sister and is a year and a half older than me. We took each others virginity. We broke up because of some ...
A. 14 March 2008: For starters, you two are too young to be thinking about anything really serious. I mean, what about college and a career? get your priorities in order first, okay? Now, this thing about her saying it meant 'nothing' after doing it with this guy 30 ... (read in full...)
Was it a miscarriage or just because of the mini-pill?
Q. A couple of months ago I missed a period for two months, then the middle of the second I started bleeding, lightly at first and then after that like a proper period. I'm on Cerazette (a Mini-Pill) and am using condoms but they broke quite a few ...
A. 14 March 2008: It sounds like your boyfriend(s) need to get bigger condoms for starters, if they keep breaking. Also, you may need to take a pregnancy test, just to be sure. Better safe than sorry. You don't want to be taking the pill if you're pregnant.... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but don't know if he feels the same way.
Q. I'm friends with my friend's brother... We both play in the school orchestra/jazz band. I really like him we talk and have a laugh... But I don't know if he feels the same way so I don't want to ask him out and lose him as a friend.... He's 1 year ...
A. 14 March 2008: You're TOO YOUNG to be asking anyone OUT. Just be friends and do group things together with others. You're just asking for trouble otherwise at your age.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend is female and we don't get along.. help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and we've lived together for 2. We met in college, and his best friend whom he spent almost every day in college with is a female. I was actually sort of friends with her at first, but as soon as him ...
A. 14 March 2008: You need to set her straight and tell her to find a boyfriend that you are IT.... (read in full...)
How can I still go away with him, but not have sex?
Q. ok, iam back with another small prob. me and my boyfriend have only been going out for 3 monhs now and we mess around and all that. he wants me to come to his friends house in the country, its a pretty big house and there having some sort of wedding ...
A. 14 March 2008: If you can't control your urges, then don't go. Or, at least go for the wedding and not spend the night. At least you can be there for a while and enjoy the event and then leave knowing you've done the right thing. Good luck! Gena... (read in full...)
My girls mate, looks after her more than I do! Should I be worried?
Q. This isnt a real big problem but i would like to kno other peoples advice on it. ok well my girlfriend has this guy friend they have known eachother for years. no problem there right. well i found out that he has had the biggest crush on her all the ...
A. 14 March 2008: I had a so-called girlfriend do that to me with my exhusband when we were together. She tried to get close to me in order to get closer to him and it worked for two years. we had a terrible time getting past this. I should have left him then, but ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel he was on the rebound for me as my last relationship failed badly.
Q. I met a guy 9 months back. I didn't like him that time but slowly started liking him. He always said he loved me, did beautiful things for me which no one ever did. Dunno when I started liking him. Now he behaves differently. He doesn't care for ...
A. 14 March 2008: could be he's the type who likes to make girls feel special when they're down and finally moves on to the next one after he thinks he has done his GOOD DEED for you.
You need to talk to him and feel this out. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Any suggestions what I can get my boyfriend for his birthday?
Q. My boyfriend's birthday is coming up. Can anyone give any good and different suggestions? He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, going out for like a meal or nights away is hard we both work nights and hardly have time together. Can any one giv...
A. 14 March 2008: Go out for breakfast! Set it up at some nice resturant that serves breakfast and can make mickey mouse pancakes for him. Do the balloon thing and have the waitresses sing the birthday song to him. It's different and it'll make him feel so special ... (read in full...)
I need some advice about my ex boyfriend.
Q. My ex boyfriend who I still love and well am still in love with, I can't stop thinking bout him. He recently was with this girl who he claimed HE was in love with but yet he was still sleeping with me at this time. I think we slept together almost ...
A. 14 March 2008: You allowed this guy to sleep with you knowing he was with another girl and said he loved her? That's sad that you would put yourself in this position. Get out and find someone who will be true to you. He is just using you and it is very obvious ... (read in full...)
How do I get past negative feelings to bring those butterflies back?
Q. My ex (24) broke it off with me (27) after 3 1/2 years together, mostly because we got stuck in a rut, and somewhere along the line I stopped doing things that made her get those butterflies and feel special (as can happen in any long relationship). ...
A. 14 March 2008: If you both are sincere in your feelings, you'll work it out together. If not, it was never meant to be. It takes two to tango and the 'hayday' can come back (believe me) if you BOTH WORK AT IT. Give it a whirl! ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but would never marry me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, we have 4 kids together and he has been married before and engaged before. The other day I was talking to him and he said that he would never marry me. So I got very angry I am not talking to him ...
A. 14 March 2008: Nowadays most people don't marry after having a passel of kids as you two have already done. He feels trapped enough without having to sign the dotted line and probably thinks that the pressure you're putting on him could lead to divorce and his ... (read in full...)
What is "dirty sex" and what do you have to do?
Q. My boyfriend suggested on the phone this morning that we should have dirty sex as it's fun, I said why, trying to find answers about what it is, WHAT IS DIRTY SEX AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO?...
A. 14 March 2008: Dirty sex? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....sex in the mud, maybe? Naw, it must mean doing the NASTY in different ways that are out of the typical missionary position. Like, he on top and you on the bottom. Probably, position #69 or oral sex, toy sex, stuff like ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm being persecuted by him and I haven't done anything wrong.
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend about six months, sometimes his behaviour has been erratic and we split up just before christmas when he told me I was crowding him. He later apologised for this and said it wasn't true, he was just feeling under pr...
A. 14 March 2008: You need to let him go, dear. He obviously has issues you can't help him with. Don't trouble yourself and go on with your life. There are other fish...find something nice, like a porpoise and not a shark!... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 14 March 2008: BFG~
You are apart and now you feel some relief. If she has the gastric bypass surgery, there is a chance she may not pull through due to her obesity and the risk of anesthesia. I had a friend die who was as large as she right afterwards. And I've... (read in full...)
If you leave someone alone, do they realize what they've lost?
Q. One for the men....I was in a 'relationship' with a non committal man. It would seem that i care about him more than he does about me, and he says he cant get into a serious relationship, so we decided not to see each other any more. At this stage, ...
A. 14 March 2008: Well, let's put it this way--my ex and I were married 26 years. He cheated on me off and on throughout our marriage. When I finally realized I had fallen out of love with him and moved out, he stalked me for 3 months and threatened my boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
I love her, but is she just too old for me?
Q. Im so confused right now... Im currently 18 but my girlfriend is 23. We been together for 2 months.. I've been getting teased by some of my friends because she is 5 years older than me.. Even my ex said "Who was that old lady riding with you?" ...
A. 14 March 2008: If you love her and visa versa, that kind of age difference isn't an issue. My boyfriend and his second wife (she's 5 years older)married and were together for 15 years before they divorced--another story. Didn't seem to bother him...NOW SHE DOES ... (read in full...)
I want to move on with my life, away from my husband, but I don't know where to begin?
Q. Married for 10 years, fell out in two, I feel so alone and so cheated, and I have some mental and health disabilites. He cheated and we are passed that but to sum it up, he's just not there. I would have terminated it but it's hard for me to keep ...
A. 14 March 2008: Sounds like my life prior to leaving my ex a couple years ago; only we were married 26 years and had one child. My advice to you is to find a stable job away (after saving a few dollars to get set up in a rental and have enough to live off of for at ... (read in full...)
My husband is having extra-marital affairs with younger women and I am pregnant, what should I do?
Q. We have been married for seven years and my husband is having an extra-marital affairs for six years with another young women with two illegitimate children. With me, we have 3 children and i am pregnant now. What should i do ?...
A. 14 March 2008: Based on what you've said, it sounds like you've known about this 'before' you got pregnant. Did you do this to make him stop having affairs or did you THINK it would stop him? Not a good move on your part if you did so.
I think you should kick... (read in full...)
After 24 years of marriage, my husband says he still loves his ex and has filed for divorce!
Q. I have been married 24 years and my husband just told me a month ago that he is still in love with his old girlfriend before me. He told me that he has never stopped loving her and that he doesn't love me the same way, never has. We have 2 grown ...
A. 14 March 2008: Might I suggest married counseling? It could pull out some answers as to why he did this in the first place and is it really 'over.' Good luck. Gena... (read in full...)
Each time I shower, I shave my legs and "down there" but it still feels prickly! Need some suggestions!
Q. I'm having a bit of a problem. Each time I shower, I shave my legs and "down there" with warm water, shaving cream, all the things you are supposed to do. My legs are always silky smooth, but it seems no matter how much I try, it still feels ...
A. 14 March 2008: waxing pulls the hair folicles beneath the skin, so you end up with silky smooth skin for weeks instead of a day or two. Try waxing, BUT have a professional do it to show you how the first time. If you can afford it, have them do it every time. IT ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for donating my eggs even if it makes my boyfriend mad?
Q. Today I saw a show on TLC about great people, great couples not being able to have children and it broke my heart. I have a son and I'm not wanting to do the pregnancy thing over again but I cant help but want to help. I'm a full-time student and I ...
A. 14 March 2008: Eighteen doesn't mean you make GOOD decisions; it isn't the 'magic number' for teens to be all grown up, so--you get OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. Your mum should have whipped you good when you were little instead of letting you talk so rudely to those you ... (read in full...)
What ideas do you have for us to talk to her parents constructively about our age gap?
Q. Hi, I am 32 and she is 17. We are having issues with her parents agreeing for us to see each other. I realize everyone has their opinion on my intent and her being young, but that isn't the question. My intent is for us to be together. ...
A. 14 March 2008: You already having 2 daughters is all the more reason NOT to get involved with a young lady who is closer in age to your daughters! How crast is that?... (read in full...)
A couple of questions about sex for you...
Q. I've been dating me boyfriend for three years and two of those years we have been having sex, But I have never done it on top! To be honest I'm a little scared to and I'm not sure how to do it. So I have two questions, How do I give by boyfriend ...
A. 13 March 2008: First of all, you're too young to be having sex in the first place, much less 'on top.' I am not at liberty to discuss the matter except to say-SLOW DOWN. I wish parents would be more responsible in raising children nowadays. Stuff like this bri... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything masturbating...am I doing it right??
Q. This question is sorta embarrassing. Ive started masturbating lately, but i dont feel anything by doing so... am i doing it right?? IS there something wrong with me?....On the other hand when my bf does it i do feel something..(no, we havent had sex ...
A. 13 March 2008: If you are doing it out of curiousity, then you really aren't 'ready' yourself for the experience. You could be too young and your friend shouldn't be touching you anyway. Give yourself time to mature and it will come naturally. I wish you young f... (read in full...)
Women and stretch marks.
Q. I had a baby and now I have stretch marks. Are men turned off by stretch marks?...
A. 13 March 2008: It depends...if you had a baby, I would hope that your significant other would love you unconditionally. If you are planning on seeing other men, then it is up to each man to decide. I don't think they are pretty to look at, and there were ways to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is my only joy, but depression is getting to me. Please help!
Q. I'm 14years old and have a really upsetting life, my dad and aunty have passed away within 4years and i just haven't gotten over that yet. I had to hold it in and be strong for my mum and little sister!! I'm letting it all out now!! I have a ...
A. 13 March 2008: Granted, your boyfriend has issues, but he is there for you. Also, your mum and sister NEED you as you've been there for them and they are accustomed to that. You are on this earth for a reason, dear one. Do remember that. God has a big plan for you ... (read in full...)
How is an abortion done?
Q. I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am.. Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much....
A. 13 March 2008: "I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am" #1-If you are under-aged or live where it isn't legal-don't. #2-Make sure this is really what you want. #3-Talk to a preacher/priest/clergy or counselor "Could anyone explain what... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes my hair combed down over half my face...
Q. I have pretty shoulder length dark brown hair and my boyfriend wants me to have it combed down over half my face all the time because he thinks it's sexy. Is this normal?...
A. 13 March 2008: Do you have to do everything your boyfriend tells you? I don't think so. Being sexy at the right times is one thing, wearing your hair over your face all the time isn't wise to me, especially if your eyes are covered. Besides, unless you wash it ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep bleeding? Is this normal?
Q. PLEASE HELP I lost my virginity last monday, with hardly any blood after more like a spot, anyway since last thursday I've been bleeding after sex and on saturday and last night (weds) I bled during sex, it's blood like from a period, but no pain ...
A. 13 March 2008: You may want to check with a gynocologist just to be safe. I don't think it is anything to be alarmed about; however, better get an answer from a professional. I don't think he/she is going to tell you not to have sex again. No worries there, but if ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for donating my eggs even if it makes my boyfriend mad?
Q. Today I saw a show on TLC about great people, great couples not being able to have children and it broke my heart. I have a son and I'm not wanting to do the pregnancy thing over again but I cant help but want to help. I'm a full-time student and I ...
A. 13 March 2008: You are TOO young to make such decisions. Your boyfriend is just a boyfriend, not a husband so what you do is your business; however, I am sure your parents would NOT approve of such a thing and at your age, the thought is 'sweet' but nothing more. ... (read in full...)
What ideas do you have for us to talk to her parents constructively about our age gap?
Q. Hi, I am 32 and she is 17. We are having issues with her parents agreeing for us to see each other. I realize everyone has their opinion on my intent and her being young, but that isn't the question. My intent is for us to be together. ...
A. 13 March 2008: I have to agree with the other person who answered your question...32 versus 17 is a huge gap in maturity and your sex drive must be cranking! I suggest, as the other parent did that you get over it and find someone closer your age or at least of ... (read in full...)
My marriage has just been on self destruct and my wife won't change, I don't want to cheat again...
Q. Ok need advice. I have been married for 10 years have two kids aged 7 and 4. When i met my wife she was a size 16, over the years she has put more weight on and she is now a size 30. She does not work I have more to do with the kids than her, I h...
A. 11 March 2008: First of all, why wouldn't your wife want to do something about her obesity? It is obvious you are reaching out for help. Has she considered counseling with you? Have you? Go that route and get back to me...that'll answer a big question I have. Th... (read in full...)
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