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| | *irstlovelastlove's profile:I have lived to see and experience a lot in my brief 47 years. Some days I feel 16 and some days I feel 160. Currently, I call Canada home but have lived most my life in the U.S. I am fully committed to my soul mate and moved more than 1,000 miles to be with her. The meaning of life is to love and be loved, unconditionally. Communication and sexual chemistry are the bedrock of a lasting relationship. I am a full time student of the love of my life and being with her gives the hell I've been delivered from meaning. I am not a religious man I'm a musician. But I do know God is God and through her He changed my heart and my mind and life truly is amazing. Early 2010 we both nearly lost our lives in a horrific car accident. To be alive truly is amazing and this is 'one of our songs'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGCLubIDPfE
Kim Mitchell -- Aint Life Amazing
I believe in God, pray often and know one day I will be judged by Him and Him alone. If I can help someone I do and if I can't, I know someone else will be put in their path who can. |
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How do I make the transition from boyfriend to friend? I don't want to lose her!
Q. Hi everyone, just looking for some advice. Myself and my girlfriend broke up yesterday. We knew that it was on the horizon though, because we are both at university and I am in my final year and will hence be moving away in the summer. She is i...
A. 25 February 2011: "I want to give friendship a try" Ok, great! Ask her to do 'friend' things with you. Keep it light and fun. Maybe have a few things in mind to do so you could do one or two things like meet for coffee and take your coffee on a walk.
"I miss her ... (read in full...)
I love my friends, but all they talk about is sex! How do I tell them I think they are being crude? Or should I say nothing?
Q. I have a great group of friends ranging in age from 13 to 17. I'm almost 15, so I'm in the middle, age-wise. Well what's upsetting me is that my friends are funny and great, and I love them, but every other topic is sex! Like threesom...
A. 25 February 2011: Get new friends. Or if you don't want to get new friends the next time they talk about sex say something like 'yeah, like you'd know' roll your eyes and walk away. It's been my experience the more people talk about sex the less they are having or ... (read in full...)
My partner has cheated on me, given me STD's, beaten me, and threatened me. I fear for the life of my children and I. What should I do?
Q. How best do I sort the storm I feel I’m stuck in? I've been involved in a very strained on-again off-again relationship for nearly nine years. We have children together and I've also endured a miscarriage (as a result of a beating) to this man. ...
A. 25 February 2011: This is truly terrible. You may or may not want to go visit this poor excuse for a human being in jail if you have visible marks from your beatings. Let the other inmates see you with him like this and they might just take care of the problem for ... (read in full...)
My husband flirts with other women, and it makes me feel terrible. How can I get the strength to leave this miserable marriage?
Q. I'm thinking of leaving my husband. We've been together for nearly 7 years and dated for 5 years before that, but I feel like my life revolves around him. My husband loves women, and the more attention he gives them, the less I feel about my...
A. 25 February 2011: "I get pissed off and drink." No one is worth that. Please talk to someone about your drinking and the state of your marriage. They will help you make a plan to leave. Make mental plans to take your "gorgeous little boy" and leave. Have both ... (read in full...)
Is flirting online a form of cheating?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. Our arguments have always been about him flirting with women on Facebook or MySpace. Is that considered cheating if hes flirting online and he tells women he's single? ...
A. 25 February 2011: I don't think it's 'cheating' but in the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger he is being a 'girly man'. I'd say dump him in a way he'll remember that you think he's 'weak'. I wish you all the best!... (read in full...)
We broke up and now have a FWB relationship. I don't get much sex, and I feel used! Should I end it?
Q. So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months back, but kept a FWB relationship till one of us meet someone else. The only problem is that we actually have only had sex once or twice, yet every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my ...
A. 25 February 2011: "every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my TV, drinks my booze, asks me for a massage, and sleeps in my bed" I'm just one man but I'll bet she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger. I would end it in a way she gets the point ... (read in full...)
I just don't want to end up in a sex-less marriage. Please help.
Q. I have been with my man for a few years now and we are engaged to be married in a few months time. Recently the sexual part of the relationship seems to be non existent. Its been at least two and a half weeks since we last had sex and we are lucky ...
A. 25 February 2011: I hate to be the one to break it to you but you will "end up in a sex-less marriage" if you don't make a big deal out of this. This is what I would call a 'deal breaker'. Don't tell him what you want or need tell him the way it has to be. This is ... (read in full...)
He means the world to me. How can I get him to trust me?
Q. Hello :-) Right, i shall start from the begining so it makes more sense to you all. (whoever's reading) My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and at the begining of the relationship i was still talking to other boys (jus...
A. 24 February 2011: I know how irritating it is to be accused of cheating whenever you are 'out of their sight'. At one point I thought if I admitted to it (I've never cheated, never will) humorously she would see how ridiculous she sounded. So I admitted going to ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to sleep in the same bed as my soon to be ex wife?
Q. My wife of 25 years notified me several months ago, that she doesnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. We went to marriage counseling for a few months, and she told me yesterday, the counseling hasn't worked, and she still wants to divorce me. ...
A. 24 February 2011: I would call a friend, relative, or parent and move out right away. If you can't do this I would move to a different room. I would also be very wary of late nite visits from her if you catch my drift. Do not give into her sexually. Not to be ... (read in full...)
Why did he stop in the middle of sex?!?!
Q. I had sex the other night for the first time with a new man. It all seemed to be going fine and then he suddenly just stopped. I've never had that happen to me before but it has left me feeling inadequate and paranoid! I had had quite a bit to d...
A. 24 February 2011: The only reasons I've stopped is because I either had to go to the restroom or fart. I am really sorry this happened to you during your first time together. Given your age, I'm thinking the two of you should be able to talk about it with a little ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do, his temper really scares me!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my man for 7 years now. We love each other but sometimes I wonder if we are right for each other. In the 7 years he has treated me very nice and very bad at times. He does not trust me all because I told a lie when we ...
A. 24 February 2011: You need to put a plan together for your child and you to leave, either temporarily or permanently, but leave as soon as possible. Where are your parents, siblings, extended family? Is there someone you could stay with temporarily? You should n... (read in full...)
How do I make the transition from boyfriend to friend? I don't want to lose her!
Q. Hi everyone, just looking for some advice. Myself and my girlfriend broke up yesterday. We knew that it was on the horizon though, because we are both at university and I am in my final year and will hence be moving away in the summer. She is i...
A. 24 February 2011: "How do I make the transition from boyfriend to friend?" It has been my experience that you don't. This is entirely up to the woman to do. I wouldn't initiate any texts, emails, phone calls etc. but I would always let her know you are very happy to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love two women?
Q. Can a man really love two women? I'm in love with two women and don't know which to choose, its hard one is my baby's-mother. I'm so confused!...
A. 24 February 2011: "Is it possible to love two women?" What does "love" mean to you? For me I cannot "love" two women. If I were you I'd make a mental list about what it means to "love" woman A and woman O (a for apple o for oranges, no 2 women are the same). You ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing him 2 weeks, what is an appropriate amount to spend for a birthday gift for him?
Q. Hi there, I have been seeing a guy for just over 2 weeks. Thing is, in those 16 days we have seen each other 11 times. I have never gotten this close with someone this quickly, or seen them this amount. my question is fairly trivial... it is...
A. 24 February 2011: I'm just one man but I always prefer something personal than something 'store bought'. Can you make up a rhyme then get some crayons or markers and make a card? Sexual limericks can be fun.
If I received something expensive from a woman I had only... (read in full...)
Once I fell pregnant to him he told me he was already MARRIED!!!
Q. I'm 23 yrs. old. I have met a guy last year at a club. After a week of dating, we agreed to have a commitment. At first I agreed to it just for fun then I realized I am falling for him. After 2 months of dating, I found out I am pregnant with his ...
A. 24 February 2011: With all due respect I think you should go to a doctor immediately to make sure you and the baby are healthy and stay healthy.
I'm sorry I don't know which country you live in because I don't know flags very well. I'm sure your country has laws... (read in full...)
What is my next step with this woman...???
Q. I'm not sure if I am confused or not. I have no experience at all with women, I am 26, the lady I am interested in is 32. She has had 2 relationships, 1 lasted 11 years, the other she says less than 1 year. We do have a very open friendship, we d...
A. 24 February 2011: "3 hand written letters" I think this is great! I'm old fashioned and I like getting things I can touch instead of 'electronic' things.
"I tell her all my thoughts about her, praise her, and it feels like unrequited love." Are you sure you "lov... (read in full...)
Is this normal behaviour after a breakup?
Q. It's now been about 3 week since my ex boyfriend broke up with me. We would talk occasionally through emails or texts the first week it ended but the past 2 weeks I've texted him almost everyday and he hasn't responded to any of my texts. I know I ...
A. 24 February 2011: Yeah, I think it's pretty normal to feel the way you do. What you're doing with these feelings should change though. In time it probably will or you could just start right now. I agree with aunt honesty, contacting him isn't a great idea. I ... (read in full...)
He's not into sex as much as I'd maybe like him to be... is his behaviour normal?
Q. I am 30 and my boyfriend is in his mid fourties. At my age I obviously have a bigger sex drive than he does. I want sex pretty much all the time right now. I will also add that I have noticed an increase in my sex drive over the past year. I am the ...
A. 24 February 2011: People are different. I am just one man, in my late 40s and my sex drive is constant (every day several hours). When I was in my 20s and 30s it wasn't. I can't explain why it's like that it just is. It is very very good you are not accusing him ... (read in full...)
Is it more important to have time to spend with people you love than achieve your life goals?
Q. Currently i'm working very hard for my AS levels and i know that my life from now on is going to be very difficult and tiring because, wait for it, i want to be a doctor. I want to go to med school and eventually become a consultant. But even now...
A. 24 February 2011: "Is it more important to have time to spend with people you love than achieve your life goals?" Why put limits on yourself? When you're near the end of your life you can look back and say that you've had both; a successful personal life and a ... (read in full...)
How can I get this absurd feeling out of my head?
Q. Hi To everyone, I am a 31 year old male from the UK, I have never had an issue like this before and it is seriously impacting on multiple aspects of my life. Work and social life have suffered due to what I can only put down to anxiety or jealo...
A. 24 February 2011: This might help, it helped me.
Think of all the ways your girlfriend is different from your ex. Height, hair color, eye color, her choice of clothes, etc.
Now think of all the ways your girlfriend is different from anyone you've ever met. Her sens... (read in full...)
I cant see a way out of this fog so would really appreciate if someone, somewhere can pull me out of it!
Q. Hello Cupids :) This is complicated so thank you in advance to those who get to the end! I've been with my boyfriend just over a year now, I am 24, he is 31 and I really should feel lucky to be with him, but instead I am ruining this relationshi...
A. 24 February 2011: "In my last relationship" you were with a jack ass.
"my current boyfriend, who made me feel like a million dollars." "never, ever lets me down. He stands by me and my decisions or plans 100%." Great!
"What I want at the time is for him to tell me ... (read in full...)
I've found out my husband has been having affairs for years, so many questions..........
Q. Hi I have a few questions i would like your views on so please take the time and reply ty. A little about my situation. Iv been with my h/b for 32 yrs married for 22yrs every 1 thought we were the perfect couple until 3 yrs ago i found out that...
A. 24 February 2011: I am so sorry you are in so much pain.
"I have become totatally dependent on him i dont go out i have no visitors and lost touch with people i knew he phones me every lunch time to see what im doing and if iv been out,i have lost all my conf... (read in full...)
Does he care more than he is letting on or does he not?
Q. Hi,I'm hoping out there some of you can help me understand this man i'm seeing better,as he is giving me so many differant signals that i'm not sure what to make of him. we have been having a relationship for many yrs, and he has told me many tim...
A. 24 February 2011: "he said can i send you kisses and hugs tonite and in the morning,i said yes of cause you can,well now he is calling me everyday and txting me through the day as well, does he care more than he is letting on or does he not?" I would say he cares for ... (read in full...)
Crush on my straight female friend, do you think she could feel the same way?
Q. I have a friend who is totally straight girl, her personality attracts me, she's 18 but act in a cute way as 8 yrs old by the way i'm lesbian. Our friendship is unique because she always tease me or bully me, but recently she's been kind to me ...
A. 24 February 2011: I am just one man but I had a similar situation happen to me with a gay man. As aunt honesty says, I think the best thing to do is to talk with her about it. That way you'll know for sure if she has a "crush" on you and you two will be able to ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for wanting to wait for him?
Q. Hello. I am in a dielmma and need some advice. I recently connected with my first love through facebook and we got together. It went so well but the problem is now that he is going through a legal nightmare from years ago and is now in jail. He ...
A. 24 February 2011: "I recently connected with my first love" "I have always loved this man" "Am I stupid for wanting to wait for him?" I do not think you are "stupid" for wanting to wait for him.
Consider this: because "He led a rough life when he was young" whil... (read in full...)
Are these guilt driven texts?
Q. My Ex left me about 5 months ago for another woman. He pretty much moved right out of our place and into hers. We were together 6 years. I did what most shocked dumpees do and attempted to get him back for about 2 weeks or so. Went pretty much NC ...
A. 24 February 2011: I had a similar situation with a woman who blew it once and then again and I never looked back. A lot of long letters that I never returned. This was in 1997 and was the result of "the grass not as green as [s]he thought it would be".... (read in full...)
Are Love Stories Real???
Q. What I want to know is simple really. Are love stories real? Unlike popular belief, Im a teenage boy who doesn't want to get into some girls pants and I don't think about sex all the time like many my age. What I want is someone who can truly make ...
A. 24 February 2011: "Are Love Stories Real???" Some are some aren't.
"Does every deserving person have one?" No.
"Do you think I can have my love story?" Yes. If you recognize it and grab hold of it with both hands.
My love story started unfolding when I was 15. Then... (read in full...)
How can I regain self confidence so she'll be excited by me like she used to be?
Q. My wife and I have been having issues in the bedroom, she's "not sexually excited" by me anymore. We discussed the idea of sleeping with other people on a trial basis to see if we liked it. We both love and trust each other very much and so we ...
A. 23 February 2011: "That was three of four months ago now and my wife has slept with someone else several times now." What was your thought process when the two of you decided sex with other people would help your marriage?
"We both love and trust each other" How do t... (read in full...)
Please help... how do I get my life back on track???
Q. Before I begin, let me apologize in case I sound like a complete baby. My life is nothing but a huge mess lately, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it so I thought I'd turn here for some advice. I guess it all started when I transferred to a ...
A. 23 February 2011: Tell your mother everything that has happened. She will tell her husband, your father, so you don't have to. I think you should give yourself some credit by realizing you want to be "re-accepted" and going back to school. I know a lot of people ... (read in full...)
How can I prove to him they were just friends so that he believes me?
Q. Hi me and my boyfriend were together for more than 6 months, he was the perfect guy and I know I cant find someone like him anymore. The other day he was looking through some pic on my phone just randomly. but I showed a reaction that he got ...
A. 23 February 2011: "things that would make my bf think i was cheating" "He's even said that to his friend, that he cant trust me anymore even if we do get back together." "i mean shall i keep calling him or shall i give him some time to think? then call?" I'm just one ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend at uni 200 miles away and I rarely see him...
Q. My boyfriend moved to uni, 200 miles from me.. ever since his been down ther ive always asked him to come down or ill go down to him.. its been 5months since he left and in that time ive only seen him twice... ive spoken to him about this and h...
A. 23 February 2011: "i stated hanging out with my mate more and we are close, i see him all the time.." sounds to me you genuinely enjoy the company of your "mate".
"he drinks alot and is always out clubin" "he has time to do that.. but neva time to see me" "i dont... (read in full...)
Is there a problem here or am I over-reacting in the situation??
Q. I feel confused and very very jealous and the sad part is I never consider me the jealous type. This feeling of insecurity happened a few months ago when a couple of picutres were tagged on my facebook by a friend that they thought were a little ...
A. 23 February 2011: This could be a whole lotta nuthin or a whole lotta sumthin' The bottom line to me is it's one thing to help someone, which is the honorable thing to do. It's another thing to be 'used and abused'. I would tell this woman she needs to find another ... (read in full...)
He cant marry me because of his parents......
Q. I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for many years now. We always break up due to one problem, his parents. Our parents come from the same country and religious background, however he strongly believes that his parents will never ...
A. 23 February 2011: "What hurts more, is he tells me to move on and marry someone who will look after me and make me happy." This has to hurt. I am sorry you are hurting.
"It's just hard to move on, when the one person becomes a part of your heart and soul." I thin... (read in full...)
Is is ok for a married woman to have a platonic relationship with a man?
Q. i am happily married woman and would like to know if wanting a platonic friendship with a male friend ive known for 27 years is ok?...
A. 23 February 2011: As Kilcardy asks "27 years, aren't you already platonic friends?"
On the one hand I think if you keep everything open and honest with your husband it's "ok".
On the other hand, I wouldn't do it because in the past I've had trouble with women wh... (read in full...)
Why did my ex add me on Facebook?
Q. My ex and I have been separated..he added me on facebook accepted as I was saying thanks for the add he went offline...then I noticed he came back on and then off....like he was creeping me..to see if i was on....well...i know our separation has ...
A. 23 February 2011: "now his facebook is deleted completely...lol" I think it's great you are able to laugh about this.
"he cheated..and was an ass..to me...he told me he loves me but not in love with me" I am just one man but it sounds to me you were in a power stru... (read in full...)
Money over love?
Q. Do all men value money over love? ...
A. 23 February 2011: "Do all men value money over love?" I am a man and I do not value money over love.... (read in full...)
Is my brother in danger? He is dating an older married woman and I think he is out of his depth.....
Q. Is my brother in danger? He is 21 and in a relationship with a woman who my family think is about 39. My family who are very different in opinion on other things in life diverse all agreethat they are very concerned about this but dont know what to ...
A. 23 February 2011: "Is my brother in danger?" Yes because "she is still married to a man who she still lives with. He regularly lives with her and i think he may be being used by them in a voyeuristic way. She is utterly posessive and controlling". I am just one man ... (read in full...)
Am I over thinking this or is he not that serious about us and doesn't see any real future?
Q. I am in my mid thirties. I am seeing a guy with the past year. He is very reluctant to meet my family(my sister lives up the road) I did meet his family at xmas after alot of fighting on my behalf. On one occassion he was dropping me off at my ...
A. 23 February 2011: "my sister lives up the road" how far up the road? When I lived in the desert "up the road" could mean 5 miles away.
"I did meet his family at xmas after alot of fighting on my behalf." What did he say when you asked him why he didn't want you to m... (read in full...)
Is his heart open for me or is his ex still in it?
Q. New relationship - 2 1/2 mos. - background he was in a 17 yr relationship, she broke up with him due to different interest/finding herself. Its been 2 yrs and he still has photos of her on his phone and computer. Seems to me that would remind him ...
A. 23 February 2011: "Its been 2 yrs and he still has photos of her on his phone and computer." By "on" do you mean they're saved in a file that he'd have to search for or are they screen savers, right on top, every time he looks at his phone/computer there she is? If ... (read in full...)
She tells me she loves me, but she hasn't stopped hanging out with this other man! Should I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, After three years of being with my girlfriend, things have somewhat fallen apart. Throughout our relationship we have faced challenges, most of them from her children going through that 'rebellious' stage and causing us both a lot of...
A. 23 February 2011: "they ended up meeting for brunch behind my back." That's enough for me to walk away and never look back. "She emailed me back to say that she wasn’t feeling well and just going to go home and get into bed. Later on I decided to swing by and drop... (read in full...)
Are men and women really that different in terms of our sexuality?
Q. Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems to me there's a tendancy these days to want to think that men and women are identical, or close to it, in most or all respects. As an (obviously unscientific) experiment, I created both a fake male profile and a fa...
A. 23 February 2011: What a great 'experiment'.
When I was in my early 30s I had just gone through a divorce and was working full time while going to school full time. I met a woman who was doing the same. We both lived alone, were physically fit and single. We beca... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious she suddenly knows different sex positions?
Q. After 4 years of hardly any sex, because my girlfriend wasnt into sex, she suddenly wants more sex and is using positions I never knew she knew. When we had sex before, she would only let me do doggy or missionary. We talked about different ...
A. 23 February 2011: "I am now wondering how all of a sudden she knows these different positions" there's this thing called the Internet.... (read in full...)
Is there a problem here or am I over-reacting in the situation??
Q. I feel confused and very very jealous and the sad part is I never consider me the jealous type. This feeling of insecurity happened a few months ago when a couple of picutres were tagged on my facebook by a friend that they thought were a little ...
A. 22 February 2011: "My question is am I letting my mind overeact to this whole situation or do I have valid reasons to feel jealous?" I do not think you are over reacting. You have a valid reason to know the truth.
It's your birthday and your husband doesn't go to b... (read in full...)
He cant marry me because of his parents......
Q. I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for many years now. We always break up due to one problem, his parents. Our parents come from the same country and religious background, however he strongly believes that his parents will never ...
A. 22 February 2011: "I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for many years now." I'm sure you know each other very well by now. "He said he wants to keep his parents happy" I'm sure you know he is a 'people pleaser' and maybe you should 'Google' this if you ... (read in full...)
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