A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is my brother in danger? He is 21 and in a relationship with a woman who my family think is about 39. My family who are very different in opinion on other things in life diverse all agreethat they are very concerned about this but dont know what to do. I have been living overseas and just now realise that she is still married to a man who she still lives with. He regularly lives with her and i think he may be being used by them in a voyeuristic way. She is utterly posessive and controlling, seems to use sex as a weapon, does not even let him answer questions.his phone has suddenly disappeared and she turns up unnanounced to his work after not seeing him for a couple of days and has invited herself to a family wedding. Can anyone throw some light on this. I am worried he is out of his depth.
View related questions:
married woman, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "Is my brother in danger?" Yes because "she is still married to a man who she still lives with. He regularly lives with her and i think he may be being used by them in a voyeuristic way. She is utterly posessive and controlling". I am just one man but I see physical abuse in his future by one or both the husband and wife -- if it hasn't already happened. I think someone in your family should tell him he can live with them until he gets his life back and starts making healthier decisions for himself. I think his first "healthy" decision would be to permanently move out.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 He is an adult. So if he thinks she is over-stepping boundaries then that is his job to address it, if he determines it is a problem to him, and if yes, then he needs to keep her in line.
He's not a little boy. For his own self esteem he doesn't need others interferring in his life choices.
Such toyBoy/cougar relationships can work, and are becoming much more socially acceptable.
And speculation about what happens, sexually, within their relationship, inside or outside the bedroom is no one elses business, but that of the persons in the bedroom
Think Demi Moore and her husband. Such a relationship works for many women and for men
Joan Collins has had the same younger
guy for ages now.
...............................
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (23 February 2011):
This is not a situation that sits comfortably with me. You'd be right to be worried.
Are you in a position where you would be able to talk to him about it?
...............................
|
