Feel so guilty for ignoring her...
Q. Hi, I cut this woman out of my life some time ago. I did it only after a long effort of trying to talk to her to reach a common understanding. And I did it only after a long period of deliberation and only after I was convinced that she was lying to...
A. 27 May 2011: You are not wrong, and you did the right thing. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself and do what is best and right for you. If this woman was having an adverse effect on you in your life, then you are more then justified in cutting her o... (read in full...)
Sex with him leaves me unsatisfied.
Q. I came to my current partner as a virgin although, I had experienced oral sex before with my ex of four years. I didn't want to have sex with my partner but it happened anyway and after a while, I learned to like it. But now, I don't feel the same. ...
A. 27 May 2011: I think you definitely have to talk to him about this.
Buy some toys, tell him you'd like to experiment a bit more, spice things up a bit. It doesn't have to be a mean commentary, make it fun.
Another thing you can try to do is, in the hea... (read in full...)
Should I tell my family his real age or wait until they get to know him better?
Q. I've been with my bf for a couple weeks and we've been talking for about a month and a half. But theres a big age diffrence and it doesn't bother me but my family is having a get together in a couple weeks and I invited him to come. He's 18 and I'm ...
A. 27 May 2011: Eh, i wouldn't bring it up. It may seem like a huge difference in age now, but if this relationship goes even a year or 2, i think you'll find the age difference really isn't that great.
... (read in full...)
How do I stop my girlfriend from leaving me?
Q. My girlfriend of three years has presented me with the idea that she is unsure about our relationship. We live together and she is everything to me. I told her that the feeling is not mutual. I still love her dearly. She is my first thought in the ...
A. 26 May 2011: I had something similar happen in a relationship. The best
thing you can do is give her space. Becoming clingy and not leaving her alone is only going to push her away.
Give her space and let her sort things out for herself. If she has said... (read in full...)
I made a big mistake while drunk. How do I move on?
Q. About 4 year ago, I went to a bar. I was 21 at the time, and pretty inexperienced when it came to any sort of physical interaction. I felt as though I needed to get out and see what I was 'missing'. I was sitting outside of a local bar on a patio,...
A. 25 May 2011: If that is the worst thing you ever do while drunk, then buddy let me tell you you are doing pretty good and have nothing to be embarassed about. Let it go and move on. ... (read in full...)
An ex-lover sent me a friend request on facebook...I am married-is it appropriate to accept?
Q. Is it okay to accept the friend request of an ex lover on facebook even if im married already?...
A. 24 May 2011: I would be inclined to say "no".
But it can't hurt to talk to your partner about it and how it might make them feel. Talk it over. Why do you want to be friends with this person?
... (read in full...)
My ex has moved on but I cant seem to!!
Q. So me and my ex have been broken up for about two or three months. I have not spoken a word to her since I left her house after saying it was over. She told me she had feeling for a friend of hers and they have now been dating for a while now. I ...
A. 24 May 2011: It stinks. We've all been there, man, and i really truly feel for you.
Trying to contact her is about the worst thing you can do. All it will do is give her reason to think that you're stalking her, and it will just push her even further ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to have sex with my professor?
Q. hi, so my problem is that I'm in a relationship with my professor at college I'm only 20 and he is 42...we meet up 3 times a week in this apartment .However, we didn't have sex until now although that we have been together for 4 months because ...
A. 24 May 2011: Yeah, i would look into your college's policies on this sort of thing.
I work at an institution here in Canada that just recently put policies in place to prevent this sort of relationship. There are dire consequences for student and professo... (read in full...)
Found naked pics of a guy on my wife's camera. I'm not sure how to handle this...
Q. My wife and I are married 4 years this summer. Everything seems to be great, my problem is something from the past. I just bought my wife a new laptop and digital camera last Christmas. Her old camera she had when we met and was about 5 or 6 yea...
A. 24 May 2011: This is a dicey one, no doubt about it. All you can do is go and talk to her. Ask her for the truth. Listen to what she has to say, and then make a decision. Don't do anything abrupt or brash.
She may have a good reason for it. It may have... (read in full...)
Ran into my cheating ex, what does all of this mean?!
Q. Wow, what a long road it has been since I first found this website and posted my own question. I had my heart broken by the girl I really thought the world of. She had cheated on me.br brI have come to terms with what happened, and am OKAY now!...
A. 24 May 2011: I wouldn't apologize. I mean, what have you got to apologize for? You aren't dating her, right? If she got jealous or upset over what she saw, well that's her problem. She had her chance with you, and she blew it. You can't live your life ... (read in full...)
What exactly does everyone consider cheating?
Q. Hi aunts, a question: whats really is cheating? When someone u are in relationship with chat with her ex but not tell u until u ask when u see received calls in her cellphone...
A. 24 May 2011: I think you definitely are warranted in asking WHY they are talking to their ex.
To me, cheating would be something like going on a date behind your back, or beyond.
Flirting with someone behind my back would really hurt a lot, too.... (read in full...)
Should I try to contact her one last time or just say bon voyage?
Q. Hi everyone! So here's the deal, my ''ex'', and I met over an internet game, at first we really didn't care for each other - I thought she was a terrible player, in turn she thought I was an asshole. But then as time went by we kind of grew on ...
A. 24 May 2011: You say she is younger then you are. Unfortunately, that age issue may be one of the issues at play here.
She might not have been ready for what you were looking for. Especially if you were her first everything, really. If she's young she may ... (read in full...)
Why do women date the bad boys but marry the nice guys?
Q. Dear cupid, i was wondering why women date and sleep with bad boys through out there youth but run to marry nice guys in there 30's when there less attractive and are looking for stability and safety for a guy who has worked hard, being dumped for ...
A. 24 May 2011: Women are attracted to confidence, and say what you will about the bad boys, but they are always incredibly confident.
Also, i've always found women are not so much into BAD guys, as they are people who are true to themselves and know who they are... (read in full...)
Theres a pic of my breasts on everybodys phone
Q. ok, so i was with this one guy, lets call him bob, and i dumped him...the night that i dumped bob, i was texting an older guy, (fred)..and i sent him a picture of my tits...two days later i started dating a different guy,(george) and i'm still with ...
A. 20 May 2011: Seek legal counsel and consider this a harsh lesson learned.
I will never understand, especially in this day and age, why people think they can send this type of pic with no consequence.
Even if you trust the person you are giving it to imp... (read in full...)
Should I hire a private detective to find and contact my deceased friend's family?
Q. I have contacted a private investigator to find the family of my deceased friend, but I'm afraid to go through with hiring them. The detective says that, out of respect for the family, they will contact the family and tell them one of their son's ...
A. 20 May 2011: 2007 is a long time ago.
I look at it in two ways: On one hand, it could be enough time for them have learned how to deal with his death, and talking about it would not be THAT difficult for them.
However, that's 4 years ago now. Wanting to... (read in full...)
She's pregnant. All good. But why does it seem I care more then she does in our relationship?
Q. I am in a relationship with an amazing woman for over a year. We live together, are planning on marriage soon, and recently discovered she is pregnant. All this is wonderful and she is constantly on my mind. I really love her she is wonderfu...
A. 20 May 2011: I would sit down and talk to her about this.
Let her know that you feel there is more give then take in this relationship.
Also, i don't think it IS too much for her to, at some point, leave the past in the past. I think that's difficu... (read in full...)
I get a hug and kiss once a week if I'm lucky...What's up with that??
Q. I have been with this guy for a year and he doesnt hug or kiss me. We have discussed this more than once because it bothers me, of course..and he says he is "trying" to be more affectionate. Am I wrong for thinking he just doesn't love me? He tell...
A. 20 May 2011: Haha, same situation with me. My wife has complained consistently through our 8 years together (4 married) that i am not affectionate enough.
I came from a family where my parents were not often very affectionate, and it all relates back to my mo... (read in full...)
How do we develop friendships and socialise with other people in our community? No one seems to want to socialise with us
Q. My wife and I are in our mid to late 40s and have been married for almost 20 years and have one son who is ready to be on his own feet. Our BIG problem is that we do not have any friends. In fact no one wants to be friends with us. We have trie...
A. 20 May 2011: I'm really interested in this thread and how you make out, Anon!
I have kind of a similar situation in my life. It frustrates my wife to no end. She likes to be a social butterfly, and is really good at making friends on her own. However,... (read in full...)
In love with my friend but she is dating a much older guy, I'm sick of just being the friend but too scared to speak up!
Q. -Sigh- okay. My best friend (a girl) is dating a guy old enough to be her dad. This guy is a doctor, so of course he has money up the ass. Buys her gifts and all the crap I could never afford considering I'm a car mechanic with an Associate's ...
A. 18 May 2011: Tell her how you feel, man. It may work, it may not, but you have to ask yourself if you'll regret never having tried, if she just goes and hooks up with this guy (or any other guy?) One way or the other at least you'll have an answer, rig... (read in full...)
Is revenge worthwhile or just a waste of time?
Q. I would like to know what you think about this question.. Is revenge really worth anything, or it is just a waste of time? ...
A. 18 May 2011: I have to concur with everyone else here. The best revenge is to move on and show that person they have no affect or control over you. I've experienced it first hand, and it IS the sweetest revenge of all. ... (read in full...)
Untrustworthy behaviour?
Q. Background: I have been quite close to an older guy for a number of months. We ended up getting quite close and he tends to flirt with me, especially when we're alone - though nothing has actually happened yet (he's married). He's been very ...
A. 17 May 2011: Eh, he's a married man who is flirting with you. That in and of itself would give reason to not really trust anything this guy says. That he would lie to you about having a child makes me think this guy probably lies a lot. Possibly path... (read in full...)
Not looking for sex or anything serious, how to tell him without being harsh?
Q. i met a nice guy on a night out, we didnt have sex, just cuddled and talked all night. he told me that he had been in a relationship for 4years and now he is just looking for something causal. i dont know what he means by that, is it causal sex or ...
A. 17 May 2011: Eh, i would imagine the implication was he was just looking to have a good time. Part of that implication is probably, at some point, to have sex. I would tell him straight up, if he tries to make a move, that you'd really like to get to know him ... (read in full...)
His first love really hurt him and broke his heart, so why does he still want to be friends with her?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year (11 months) and it has been a great and solid relationship for the most part. However, something I could just never quite get over is the fact that he still remains with his ex. Like many of you ...
A. 17 May 2011: Yeah, i pretty much agree with Cerberus. I had a similar situation when i was younger. When they decided to get married, they were both young and naive... As always seems to be the case, the woman identified that there were issues with the relatio... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my hubby want to make love to me?
Q. I'm newly married for 3 months n I'm 22 and my husband is 30. I was a virgin when I married him and he is not. From what he says he's had many girlfriends and had sex with lots of people, obviously he went through that clubbing and player stage. ...
A. 17 May 2011: He doesn't believe in counseling? That's one i have NEVER heard before. I'd really be interested in knowing what there is about someone giving you advice on how to make your relationship work that you can't believe in.
I think your feelings... (read in full...)
When a girl stops giving oral does it mean they are no longer into you?
Q. Hi Just looking for some advice really Ive been with my partner for nearly three years now, things are great except for one aspect. We still have sex regularly, but the oral sex (from her) has gone from frequently to hardly ever- even as...
A. 17 May 2011: In my experience, I think most girls just don't like giving blow jobs. Seems like it's something they feel like they HAVE to do early on in a relationship, and then as they get more comfortable with you it kind of dies down..
It has always k... (read in full...)
I can't read the signals this guy was sending me. Does he like me?
Q. So, last week I went to the zoo for a class field trip. My teacher's son, I've met him before, honestly I thought he was cute, but he went on the trip with his dad (my teacher) and I thought he looked sooooo adorable! I really just wanted to talk to ...
A. 17 May 2011: Eh, i think you have probably already dropped the hint. It is odd that he would not give you his number straight up when you asked him...did you have anything to write it down with, or to record it with?
If you're really stuck on him, you can play... (read in full...)
Married with a baby but missing my ex......
Q. Married with a baby missing my ex husband I got divorce in December 2010 and by March 2011 I was pregnant from another guy, everything was so fast that I could not believe it, I moved to the States because the father of my baby is American so I...
A. 17 May 2011: Unfortunately, i think you are probably 100% right in your feeling that your ex-husband is building a wall between you. That's the way most people in these parts handle bad relationships, especially one that ends in divorce.
And for you not to r... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my hubby want to make love to me?
Q. I'm newly married for 3 months n I'm 22 and my husband is 30. I was a virgin when I married him and he is not. From what he says he's had many girlfriends and had sex with lots of people, obviously he went through that clubbing and player stage. ...
A. 17 May 2011: Yeah, i definitely think you need to sit down and talk to him about all this. Counselling could really help. A lot of what he has said to you is degrading and really insensitive. Do you really want to live with that the rest of your life?
Def... (read in full...)
I need help deciding on which love to follow: The love of my life or current girlfriend that I love dearly, equally!
Q. Okay, I know I'm young, but I'm in love. My situation: I am 19 and in love with two young women. They are both 18. So let's call girl 1 Lisa and call girl 2 Tina. Lisa (girl 1) and I dated for a little over a year with the addition of a few mont...
A. 17 May 2011: Yeah, i would really wonder why NOW is the time Tina is ready to come to you. She has a kid, and isn't brave enough to leave this abusive boyfriend unless she has an escape net (someone like you.)
I've had something similar happen to me a couple... (read in full...)
A quick (honest) survey: How often do you and your partner have sex?
Q. This is something I am interested in as this often comes up on Dear Cupid, how often are couples actually having sex? I know personally I feel that my boyfriend and I are not having enough sex, I am 24 and he is nearly 28 yet we have sex once or...
A. 16 May 2011: I'm early 30's, wife is late 20's. We have been together for about 8 years now. In the beginning it was every time we were together (pretty much every day).. Then when we moved in together it kind of slowed down. A lot of that was tied to ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my professor how I feel but I don't want to make her never talk to me again!
Q. heeeelp please!!! I have a huge crush on my female professor. I am also female. She actually is no longer my profesor because I have now graduated. She told me to keep in touch with her and we always got along very well. I know she is married but ...
A. 16 May 2011: Is she married to a man? I worked a job at a University up here in Canada, a couple years back, where i operated out of a technical support office. I provided classroom support for professors teaching classes. I also supervised a small group of... (read in full...)
How do I get my unambitious too laid back boyfriend to move out?
Q. I have this live in boyfriend. We have been together for 17 yrs. He's a caring guy but he doesn't want to hardly work. I care about him and I was so in love with him when I first met him.... But he just don't have drive to want anything in life...
A. 13 May 2011: I don't think there's any easy way to do this. You just have to be direct. Sit him down and lay it out exactly as it is.
Tell him how you feel about the relationship, and how one-sided it is and that it's really affecting you. Tell him that he ... (read in full...)
Why wont he tell his family about me?
Q. Can someone please tell me why my boyfriend of 7 month would not tell his family that he is going with me. He hasnt nothing to be ashamed of about me. I just dont understand him. My friends and family know about him and have met him. We even live in ...
A. 13 May 2011: Eh, i think there are a lot of valid suggestions.
I would simply talk to him about it. Ask him why it is that he hasn't introduced you to his family yet.
Some guys (i am one of them) are just not comfortable with talking to their families a... (read in full...)
If your ex is trying to make you jealous, does it mean they want you back
Q. If your ex is trying to make oy jealous, does it mean they want you back? He up with me after an interferring relative made him believe I was bad-mouthing him behind his back to her. He never confronted me about it he just ended the relations...
A. 13 May 2011: Yeah, i have to agree. A lot of times the person who ends it just wants to be sure that you're missing them.
I had this happen with an ex-gf. I was devastated when she ended it, and was desperate for any sign that she was reconsidering.
She... (read in full...)
I lost my ambition since I met my partner, and don't know what to do anymore! Suggestions?
Q. I would appreciate any advice that you could give me. I am in a dilemma. I am coming towards the end of my first year as a PhD student and I left a job I enjoyed (very people orientated) and I find the research itself a bit boring and I cant get ...
A. 12 May 2011: It really comes down to what is more important to you: Your relationship or your career. Do you think you'll be content limiting your ambitions and just sticking it out and living with your partner? From personal experience: I was dating a gir... (read in full...)
Am I a potential husband or Mr. right now?
Q. I have a question about what i am going through right now. I am about to graduate high school and move to college about an hour and a half away. I am seeing this girl who i dated 3 years then we broke up because of some problems we had but as of a ...
A. 12 May 2011: I don't think there is anything wrong with your line of thinking of "mess around, have some fun and see where it goes". I know it's tough to understand now, but i think it's actually pretty rare for a high school sweet heart to wind up being 'the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want sex? At 21?
Q. Hi! I'm 20, my fiancé is 21 and we've been together for a little over 5 years. About a week ago, he refused to have sex with me. He says his libido has just decreased. However I find that odd since he's at the ripe age of 21 which is his sexually ...
A. 9 May 2011: 5 years is a long time. I think in a long relationship this is actually quite common. I know around the 3 year mark my wife started to worry because our sex life kinda hit a lull. It could be any number of things. I would talk to him about it.... (read in full...)
I accidentally gave him the wrong number and I don't think I will ever see him again! Help!
Q. I started out in my first job a couple months ago and I met this guy called max who I ended up working really closely with almost every night and we became good freinds till it sort of became obvious neither of us wanted to be..Just freinds..how ...
A. 9 May 2011: Yeah, i would probably contact the place you used to work at together and ask if he still works there. ... (read in full...)
Any positive stories of being 'on a break'?
Q. Hi. I would like to hear from anyone who has had a positive experience of being 'on a break.' Me and my bf have decided to take a break for a month as the relationship has had a lot of problems, one of them being my drinking which has now stopped ...
A. 6 May 2011: Well, i was dating a girl. We were together for about a year, even moved in together. We were actually really happy together. Then she decided she was gonna go back to school and get a Master's degree. Unfortunately the school she opted to go to ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he says he misses me, yet then is completely ignoring me. Help!
Q. Three days ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We recently just moved out of our apartment together two weeks ago to move back to our parent's places for this summer (I am a student, and he will be in January) I am turning 22 in August and he is 23. ...
A. 6 May 2011: It sounds to me like this is a guy who doesn't know what he wants, and/or doesn't really know how to handle your anxiety attacks. I feel for you because i have issues with anxiety attacks, too, and they've always caused havoc in relationships that ... (read in full...)
Am I in love with my friend's girlfriend or is it just a crush?
Q. hi everyone i really need help my head is a right mess atm i apolgise if its long but i want to give a clear picture. one of my friends is going out with this girl who is amazing. when i became friends with him i saw his girlfriend and added h...
A. 5 May 2011: Eh, it sounds like it could go either way. She could definitely be into you.. She sure is paying you a lot of attention, and when she tells your friend one thing about being happy with her bf, and then tells you another.... That's suspicious! ... (read in full...)
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