A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Background: I have been quite close to an older guy for a number of months. We ended up getting quite close and he tends to flirt with me, especially when we're alone - though nothing has actually happened yet (he's married). He's been very distant recently because a colleague thought something more might be going on. I don't know about his side, but I've definitely fallen for him and think that there could be something there.Obviously there's more to this which I'm (at least) attempting to deal with; but the reason for posting is because he has mentioned having a daughter on a number of occasions, though we don't tend to talk about his family much. I have recently found out, however, that this is not true, and that he doesn't have any children. This seems like a bizarre lie, and I'm not sure whether I can trust him - though I really want to. Can anyone think of any reasons for this?
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Thank you :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 TRUST HIM? does he tell his wife, the supposed love of his life that he flirts with a young chickie like you at work? Honey do not trust himdo not date himdo not think he's leaving his wife for you...do not buy the dress.....
...............................
A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 He's a married man flirting with a female who is not his wife. Of course you can't trust him!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Why would he lie? Um. Well, first of all, it pretty clearly shows you don't know him as well as you might think. You're close only in the sense that you like to flirt with each other, I think. Sorry.Reasons for lying: he has an undiagnosed brain tumor (probability low)he doesn't want to let you into his life as much as you think (probability high)he has another girl on the side and refers to her as his daughter (oooh, that's a real possiblity) so you won't get suspiciousYou still have a lot to learn about what married men who cheat on their wives are willing to do. They do a lot of things, and lying is just kind of second-nature to the more *ahem* experienced ones. I would take this opportunity to distance myself as from this guy as possible. He's not reliable on many fronts.Any reason you are looking for extra, unnecessary drama in your life? You are asking for it by a) getting involved with a guy a work, b) getting involved with a married guy, and c) getting involved with a married guy at work. I have seen plenty of office romances and they tend to end badly for the woman, as it's usually the man with seniority and enough savvy to survive the inevitable kerfuffle that follows discovery. It tends to follow the woman too, the guy gets some ribbing for going after fresh young meat, the girl gets tagged as a homewrecker and as an easy mark. Not good career moves.Lying about having a daughter pales into insignificance compared to lying to his wife by having an affair. THAT'S the untrustworthy part already. The rest just goes on to confirm a basic untrustworthiness. It's just all so, well, lower class. Is that the best you can do?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 May 2011):
 Why even bother with this guy? He's married.. which means.... he's got a wife.Are you really interested in being something on the side? some one's dirty little secret?
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 How can you trust him in the first place?He is married and flirting with other girls....that right there is already a huge red flag.
...............................
A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Eh, he's a married man who is flirting with you. That in and of itself would give reason to not really trust anything this guy says.That he would lie to you about having a child makes me think this guy probably lies a lot. Possibly pathological?I think there are some warning signs here. I would head for the hills!
...............................
|
