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He keeps lying to me, why?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2007)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend always fight. He spends all his time at home, with me or at work. But I only get to see him 2 or 3 days a week. He lies a lot. And about stupid things. But not it's getting worse. He's lying to me about giving and getting other girl's numbers, talking to girls I don't like him talking to, and where he's going. He says he lies to me because he doesn't want to hurt me. I've told him time and time again, that it hurts more when he lies, but he still does it! The love is still there, but I don't know what to do. I'm in love with him, and he tells me everyday that he's in love with me. Also I asked him why he was happier when we first started dating, and he said, "BecauseI was still getting to know you"! I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?!

View related questions: at work, talking to girls

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (26 July 2007):

sexi agony auntHi, this guy is playing game with you. Dump him and find some worthy of your love.If you think that he would change then give him one last chance and tell him to stop all his nonsense immediately or els you would leave. Dont ;et himtake you for a ride.

Good Luck, let me know what has happened

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A male reader, The Bartender United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

Get rid of him, you're better off.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

Men at your young age, are mostly not ready to settle down. Now that is not true for all men your age, but for the most part it is. They might be with you and be in love, but they quickly decide they need to date around still, and talk to other girls, etc. This is why he is getting other girl's phone #'s. Of course he is lieing to you because he isn't 100% ready to say good bye to you. Maybe he likes the steady sex he is getting from you. I am not sure, but he doesn't sound like he wants to commit to only you. And him lieing is also disrespecting you in a huge way. I dealt with this same thing when I was younger. There is no changing him because he needs to "sow his wild oats" and until he does & feels satisfied that he has & is ready to commit, there's not a thing you can do. You only have 2 options here: go your separate ways, or continue to be lied to & get hurt. If you chose option 2 it is only going to get worse & I would not be shocked if you end up finding out that he has cheated on you. It may not have happened yet, but it will happen. Walk away with some dignity. You yourself should date as well, and find a man that is 100% commited to you & not only until the excitement of getting to know you wears off. There are decent men out there. You just have to find them.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (25 July 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHe is very immature & doesnt sound ready for any type of commitment.

I recently went through a similar thing, only he didnt admit to the lies i knew he was telling, until after we split. Now i am extremely angry about it & its not worth the hassle.

If i was you, i would move on. You dont need to be with someone that you cant trust, because you will be constantly wondering whats true & whats not. I wish i had got out sooner.

See i can see the sensible things to do in others senarios but my own are a different ball game!

I would seriously think hard about getting out of this relationship that will eat away at your self esteem.

The fact he is admitting he lies smacks of him expecting to be able to confess & have you put up with it! Thats even worse.

Good luck

C xxxx

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A female reader, tadala United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

tadala agony auntI agree with the first response...you need to let this guy go. The only reason a person lies is to cover something up. If he knows it will hurt you, then why does he do it?

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntSay goodbye, it sounds like he's playing you, At any rate, you are only in control of yourself and all the unanswered questions and lies will continue. I promise, he won't be changing anytime soon. If you want to continue feeling miserable, then stay with him. If you want a chance for happiness with someone else, then say goodbye. Decide what you want to do and do it. Live life and love. You only get one chance at life, so be happy, it's too short not to.

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