He isn't there for me when I need him but I'm always there for him... what do I do?
Q. Please Help Me! I broke up with my bf two weeks ago after he asked me for money and said he wouldnt talk to me. My mother passed away a few days later. I didnt contact him to tell him because he has never been there when I needed him only when he ...
A. 16 May 2009: Thank you for the advice! When I read thru it it seems obvious but when I look out my window and can see his house and know his schedule it is tough. I keep wondering what is he doing now. His lites are on and he doesnt have his kids this weekend. I ... (read in full...)
I am dating a man, who is ten years my junior, he just got custody of his two undisciplined pre-school kids, I try to help him with them, he also wants me to pay some of his bills, I feel I am being taken advantage of, please give me some advice?
Q. Hi, please help, im dating a man that just got custody of his 2 kids, they are both preschoolers. The mom died. We had been dating almost 3 months when this happened. We were living in different cities and now he moved to my city. The kids are ...
A. 17 September 2008: For the children the loss of their mother has to be a stressor and for him also - I dont have enough info as to their relationship before she died and at the time of her death to offer more on that. How YOU feel though seems right on target. ... (read in full...)
Is anyone else just as afraid to be alone?
Q. Here I am again - I thought I was making progress and I know that the boyfriend is NO GOOD for me and I deserve better so why do I still want to get attention from him? He makes me sick! Like last night he said he would call back and he didnt the...
A. 28 August 2008: Thanks to all who responded - I just got a chance to check mail but will post another question....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts...would you say I was over-reacting?
Q. Please help! I don't trust my own judgment because I have anxiety/depression and take meds. I have a b/f who I have been seeing for about three yrs - All my friends say he is using me - I have decorated and remodelled his house, landscaped...
A. 10 May 2008: I am not sure if he will get violent - he most likely will tell everyone what a nut I am. Most of his neighbors know me better than that and dont get along with him actually -
I am sure his mother will have something to say - I did talk to his e... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he care about my family's health, or is it just a 'guy thing' to have no feelings?
Q. Hi, I'm getting married in about a month but I have a question. I'm wondering if my fiance is just very insensitive or if it is just a guy thing. A few years ago (during the first year that we were dating) my mother was in the hospital for s...
A. 9 May 2008: Mistake to marry I think - He has no compassion for you - your family? What about his family? Have you met them? How does he treat his mother? His sisters?
You may want to take another look at this engagement - I suspect he is either emotiona... (read in full...)
I feel there are three people in this marrage: my husband, I, the wife and his ex girlfriend! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been married for over a year now. my husband has become distant in our relationship. I recently found a bill with calls and texts to one number on a daily basis, ranging from one up to six times a day for the last 3 months. I confronted my h...
A. 2 May 2008: I wouldnt attack him with any more questions. I would flatly state that he should have no further contact with her then say unless he introduces her to you - that way you may be of some help to her from a womans point of view to learn the area - ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend introduce me to people?
Q. My b/f frequently fails to introduce me to women we bump into, that he knows personally. This makes me feel like he's embarrassed to be with me or he's trying to play down the fact that we're involved. He says it's because some people aren't ...
A. 2 May 2008: Wow! Oldersister! I think you got it just right! I too wondered why my guy did this to me - Now I realize - that is very interesting and I believe very correct! He is hiding something for sure - ... (read in full...)
When do you give up? Am I over-reacting?
Q. Help! I take psych medications for depression and anxiety so I dont always know if I am overreacting to something or getting being too nice and always question myself. So I am please asking for advice I am so angry and hurt! My bf of almost three ...
A. 1 May 2008: Wow! Thank you all so much for your very wise and thought out responses - It is such a comfort to have found this site and all of you great and giving people!
- I have spent much of the day thinking about the wasted time and feeling bad about it... (read in full...)
My fiance says because I'm so controlling, I'm making him the way he is. Is he letting go of our relationship?
Q. Help! I've been with my fiance for 4yrs, we've had bad times, he used to be a bad gambler, and I had to take control of his money to help pay his debts so he had no money to gamble with. luckily this worked and he hasn't gambled for a year. we s...
A. 28 April 2008: If you have been engaged for four years what type of 'private' life does he think he needs? Umm He is in a relationship with YOU - I am not sure from what you wrote...did you take control of the money or did you do it together? Did he ask you to ... (read in full...)
I am getting back into the dating scene after a divorce. How can I ever trust men again?
Q. I am a 34 year old nurse who divorced her husband just last year. Over the past couple of months, I have been trying to re-enter the dating scene. I joined a dating site and went on a couple of dull dates. Then, almost three weeks ago, I finally ...
A. 28 April 2008: I would say that dating men that advertise themselves on dating sites is not a good way to meet the right man - I have come to the conclusion also that those who need to to meet people this way are desperate as for any woman who does the same. When ... (read in full...)
Does age matter for sex?
Q. Last night I experienced the pleasure of deflowering a young lady aged 18.I felt 20 years younger!! We're mutually keen on having regular sexual intercourse from now on-particularly as neither of us has any ties. Does the age gap matter since our...
A. 28 April 2008: I dont think that age matters for sex if you are over eighteen but maturity and being on equal footing in the expectation of the relationship is important - I agree that if she only wanted sex she could get it with guys her own age - I am not sure ... (read in full...)
I deleted his porn and now he wants a divorce!
Q. Our sex life is not normal, he watches porn (as he says rarely and not an addict). He has a huge porn collection of DVDs, webcam recordings, photos, downloaded porn. He went on a trip with his college friends and I found a receipt that he renewed ...
A. 28 April 2008: I agree with the female reader that says he is selfish - I would prepare for the inevitable - You are better than this - You have tried to talk to him about it before, he is crushing your self-esteem but what worries me most is that he has no pics ... (read in full...)
I can't say NO to her. I want to make her happy even if I am not. How do we untangle this mess?.
Q. In the past ten years I can only think of only two time that I have been happy. The first time was when I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I served in Iraq from the start until June 2003(being a senior unit and having been stateside for one month out ...
A. 28 April 2008: I am sad to hear of all your unhappiness - You say you have been much happier with her but I dont read it that way - Sometimes you can love someone and they not be right for marriage with you - I agree that marriage is a family proposition - I dont ... (read in full...)
It still hurts when I think of how little my ex gave me emotionally. how do I get over it?
Q. Hello =] I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years over a month ago. The relationship was pretty much a chore and I always knew he didnt love me as much as I did with him. I always used to spend my money on him but rarely got anythng back. It...
A. 28 April 2008: Good for you to have relized this at a young age and been strong enough to let go! I am much older and still in the give give part of the relationship - it is making me hate him and be suspicious most of the time - Others say I am so beautiful and a ... (read in full...)
He texted his ex on her birthday, Valentines, and other occasions...what's the deal!?
Q. HELP! I was just checking thru my phone bill and found that my boyfriend of three years still has some contact with his x-financee - He has texted her or called on her b-day. valentines day. new years eve, before he and I went to Jamaica with his ...
A. 23 April 2008: Thank you to those who answered! To update, I could not bring it up to him yet cause really I am afraid to - but the Ex is Not the Mother of his children ( he has two terrible unruly and rude girls - ages 10 and 12 - from a marriage) After that ... (read in full...)
I love being with him but not with the kids anymore? How can I make him see how his really bad parenting is affecting everyone?
Q. My bf and I have been together 3 years - he has two daughters who are 10 and 12 - I have kids that are a bit older - His girls are just totally obnoxious! He has asked me to help all along with them and they love me and I have tried to teach them ...
A. 2 April 2008: Wow! All of your answers are amazing! Thank you so much for your input! I am gonna try the suggestions and will keep you posted on results! Already he is telling me how much they all love me - and I only stayed away two nights!
Thanks -I surely welc... (read in full...)
My ex is taking my children on holiday at his wife's request I am not allowed to have their home address or contact phone number.
Q. My children are about to go on hoildays with their father and his new wife. They live on the other side of the country and at his wife's request I am not allowed to have their home address or contact phone number. There is no formal custody orders ...
A. 1 April 2008: The fact that the father even thought that what his new wife requested was OK raises a BIG RED FLAG for me - Unless you have a history of harrassment of him. I would not let those children out of my sight - I agree with the others - In fact, IF he ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he wants to marry me. I'm really confused. Please help.
Q. How long does it take for a guy to know whether he wants to marry you or not? I have been dating a guy for three years - We both are divorced - We both said we would never marry again at the start. He hints and makes comments about 'someday' and ...
A. 21 March 2008: Thank you all so much for the thoughtful insight - All of you offered so much to me on this - It has been killing me inside so now I know how to phrase it to him - I was quite abused in my first marriage and he knows it and he has said that my x ... (read in full...)
He keeps going on dating sites, why is does he keep telling lies to me?
Q. i have been involved with a guy for 7 months and we live 2hrs apart.i met him on a dating site,and we agreed to remove ourself from all dating sites.he keeps telling me he isnt on no dating sites nor sex sites but i have been in his email and caught ...
A. 21 March 2008: Let me know if anyone has the answer to this - I feel for you as I am going thru the same thing - He is on 5 sites and we have been dating 3 yrs! He says he doesnt want to date anyone else - it was most hurtful when he sent 'flowers' with his points ... (read in full...)
Stressed about raising money to organise the wedding...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and half, I have been living in the States and working illegally as I am Canadian, we have talked to a lawyer re. getting married, but have to raise $10,000 dollars for all to be legal. We don't have that ...
A. 14 March 2008: Why do you need the $10000? Is it for the wedding itself or legal fees? Please check online for US regulations regarding this - I am not sure but I thought if someone who is not american marries and american it makes it legal for you to be here. So ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my true age before the situation turns more complicated? I'm not 16 just yet.
Q. So i have a pretty minior problem. First off i am 15, (turning 16 in may) and the guy i am talking too is 18 (turning 19 in may also) we have kissed once or twice, and we talk constantly. he wants to take me out on a date, and seems pretty honest ...
A. 12 March 2008: You admitted in Florida it is ILLEGAL - So lets see you want to take the risk and not tell him? You have parents? If so, then I would say it would be wise to tell him the truth and let him decide - You think he wont want sex if he is 18 almost 19 ... (read in full...)
Do I marry and die????
Q. I've been in this relationship for 6 years now. He claims he fell in love with me the moment he saw me and has wanted to marry me ever since. After a few years he went to another country to pursue his studies. I missed him terribly and decided to ...
A. 12 March 2008: I wasted 15 yrs with the wrong man because I was embarrassed to cancel the wedding - Let me tell you - THERE IS NO GETTING THE TIME BACK! I will suffer the rest of my life from the things I chose - Please dont marry either until you are sure - That ... (read in full...)
I want more sex...but he teases me and I am worried he wants to date other girls.
Q. Help! I feel like giving up - My boyfriend of 3 yrs just doesnt get it or want to - We spent a lovely evening again - a little shopping with his daughter, nice dinner, all the time with him joking and touching etc... I had to stop at the Rx and he ...
A. 3 March 2008: Let me also add - I do ALOT for him - he just took me and his girls ages 10 and 12 to jamaica he and I are going away for the weekend to NY for a concert - He counts on me to be there for him - decorate house, do projects, help with his girls, ... (read in full...)
I want more sex...but he teases me and I am worried he wants to date other girls.
Q. Help! I feel like giving up - My boyfriend of 3 yrs just doesnt get it or want to - We spent a lovely evening again - a little shopping with his daughter, nice dinner, all the time with him joking and touching etc... I had to stop at the Rx and he ...
A. 2 March 2008: Thank you all for your insightful comments - My self-esteem has taken a nose dive for sure - I did tell him I was unhappy about him being registered on the sites - The last one he registered for was just Feb 12th! Right before valentines day and my ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend depressed or just sick of me? Should I hold out or move on?
Q. Hello All. I'm 23, girlfriend is 33. We've been together 6 great years. We rarely have any disagreements, we see each other nightly, and do our own things at the weekends. I'm heavily involved in cars, and she likes gardening. I ...
A. 28 February 2008: My thought is that with the job loss she also is rethinking her life and choices at 33 - I have gone thru it with a divorce and job loss - True you cant and dont want to make her think she should be chipper - I think that it may have something to do ... (read in full...)
He invited me to functions and I had other plans. Now he won't call.
Q. I just met this guy three weeks ago. He is 6yrs younger than me. I love him but the age gap gives me problems. I'm a single mother of a 15yr old son while he has 11yr old son and 8yr old daughter from his previous relationship which he chose to ...
A. 25 February 2008: RUN from him - You met him 3 weeks ago and you are in love and he wants to get married by June of this year and he is acting this way? WHAT the ? You don't see the HUGE RED FLAGS????? He is immature for sure - read some of the posts here on abusive ... (read in full...)
Ok to date older women?
Q. Im 20 and i have a 2 year old but when she was born i started getting into older women (peoples moms) i've been dating and sleeping with them. Women in there thirties and fourties they're all hot and beautiful i dont know why i find older women ...
A. 25 February 2008: Hey - I am an older woman and I say - good for you - my friends think it is not right to date guys who are much younger - but if it is consentual and you both know it is dating or even just sex and both are clean - then why not? I say even if she is ... (read in full...)
Unsure...
Q. Dear Cupid I have been seeing my boyfriend for 2 years, I love him dearly. He stays in my house every night except for every other weekend when he stays in his own house while his two step children from a previous relationship visit. He has t...
A. 25 February 2008: Oh! I just read thru your question and we are in very similar situations! I have a bf of three yrs and he has two very ill behaved and maintained girls ages 10 and 12 - He gets them one nite a week and every other weekend - I have three children the ... (read in full...)
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