A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Last night I experienced the pleasure of deflowering a young lady aged 18.I felt 20 years younger!! We're mutually keen on having regular sexual intercourse from now on-particularly as neither of us has any ties. Does the age gap matter since our relationship is purely for physical pleasure? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): If it's totally consensual and you guys are having safe sex then who cares?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): When an 18yo girl asks about dating an older man, she frequently gets a fair amount of support for it.
When a grown man asks about dating an 18yo girl, he often gets morally togue-lashed for even entertaining the idea.
Double standard.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Age gap alone has no barriers, whether or not a young tight body wants a flabby and sagging body along theres does.
Hopefully at age 40, you have better communication skills then you have shown, prrof is the other responses you've received here.
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A
female
reader, Chippy2  +, writes (28 April 2008):
I dont think that age matters for sex if you are over eighteen but maturity and being on equal footing in the expectation of the relationship is important - I agree that if she only wanted sex she could get it with guys her own age - I am not sure how you two met - But I think if you have a responsibility to discuss with her before you have sex again how you are only wanting sex and NOT a relationship - I was always told dont get involved with someone that does not have the qualities you would want in a marriage parnter - It only leads to heartache - I believe too that even tho she is 18 and consenting if this is her true first time it is creepy that you took advantage of her but admirable that you ask for advice on here - I just dont think she could have enough life experience to make a decision on this and keep her feelings out of it even if she agrees it is just sex. Please consider my comments thoughtfully.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Any sexually physical relationship is wrong and selfish when one partner (you) uses the other person (her), to feel good about himself, again. I think you need to realize that your self-confidence, your own inner sense of value is not expecting a some 18 year old virgin to the take the enormous responsibility for enabling you to feel good about yourself. That's your job and your need to work on yourself. So having sex with her, knowing full well, you are not going to take it to anything committed or respectable with her, is a pretty, scummy low thing to do. Being the older man one would think, you could practise some mature, adult restraint.
And what a shame because with this no strings fun sex, comes unwanted pregnancies, possible abortions, STD's and a whole host of other problems that could come back and bite you in the butt. Best proceed with caution. And if she was inexperienced sexually, then we know she has a lot of life to live and some growing and developing, in her own life. You've had all that. So, does the age gap matter since your relationship is purely for your own physical pleasure? Yes, I would say it does...because in this case, I will bet my bottom dollar she won't view it as "purely for physical pleasure", for very long.... like you do. She will engage her heart and emotions, as many young women do, once sex comes into the picture. I feel sorry for her..because sir, you appear to be simply 'using' her, to validate yourself as a 'studly man' about town. How sad for her.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (27 April 2008):
 She may be 18, but don't you think you are too old for her.
I am 40 years old and no way would I go for a guy who is old enough to be my son. I have a daughter the same age and I would be horrified if she dated a guy your age.
What do you have in common with her? I don't wish to put a dampner on things here, but do you intend to have a future with her? I am sure her parents and friends would be equally as horrified as me, if you get to meet them they will probably think of you as a Dirty Old Man. If she was in her twenties, then I think that would be more acceptable.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Oh boy. I am thinking that not everyone is going to be impressed by this but the girl is 18 and a consenting adult. This does sound odd. Most young women of 18 really do not have the interest or the need quite frankly to seek an older love paticularly the difference in the ages here. The one exception I have noted is if the man in quesion has money. You say you deflowered her...old school expression and are you certain you were her first.
Call me cynical but I am not certain this will have a very long shelf life. If the physical is all she wants here she could find that with guys her own age and perhaps have more in common unless you are 'teaching her'
I hate to say it but I would not get too set on this being a long term thing...just does not sound right to me. I fear that YOU may be the one to get hurt. Good luck though in this rather unusual scenerio.
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