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Stressed about raising money to organise the wedding...

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Question - (14 March 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and half, I have been living in the States and working illegally as I am Canadian, we have talked to a lawyer re. getting married, but have to raise $10,000 dollars for all to be legal. We don't have that kind of money right now, and I am deciding to go back to Canada, my boyfriend doesn't like the cold and is trying out a new buisness opportunity here, so he says he can't go. Should I wait here and try and work odd jobs under the table until we have the money or am I just wasting my time, and I should just go back home??? Stressed to the maximum

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A female reader, Chippy2 United States +, writes (14 March 2008):

Why do you need the $10000? Is it for the wedding itself or legal fees? Please check online for US regulations regarding this - I am not sure but I thought if someone who is not american marries and american it makes it legal for you to be here. So maybe you could first marry in a civil wedding ( In your local US county) and not a fancy wedding in a church. Then you both could work and raise the money for a nice church wedding.

Good luck with this. Hope my thoughts help.

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A female reader, Minnie1 United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2008):

I feel for you! I totally understand what it is like when you want to marry the one you love.

However, ask yourself this, what's more stressful- raising money for your wedding, or facing a court hearing regarding working illegally. You need to put this into perspective. Firstly, how can your boyfriend be comfortable about you working illegally?

Sit down with your boyfriend and have a realistic chat about what you both want. If you moved back to Canada, how often would you see each other? And how long would it take for $10,000 to be raised? Would your boyfriend help to contribute to this cost? Really consider the reality of staying in the US to work. Just because you have not been caught so far, does not mean that your luck will continue...

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