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He texted his ex on her birthday, Valentines, and other occasions...what's the deal!?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *hippy2 writes:

HELP! I was just checking thru my phone bill and found that my boyfriend of three years still has some contact with his x-financee - He has texted her or called on her b-day. valentines day. new years eve, before he and I went to Jamaica with his kids and when we got back and then twice this past month!

What do I even say to him? I am SO angry! He tells me she is a whore and then he gets in touch with her? I can see her b-day maybe and her mom died while we were away but any other time I cant understand any WHY for that!

He says he loves me - I didnt say anything to him yet about it only to text just now that I am pissed at him -

Please everyone give me some advice on this!

View related questions: his ex, text

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A female reader, neverguesswho United States +, writes (25 June 2008):

I've been in a simular situation....

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/to-trust-or-not-to-trust-when-someone.html

Whenever you want to talk private email me!

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (23 April 2008):

sexi agony auntMaybe this guy is not over his ex. When my ex and i broke uo i got rid of everything (photos,messages and alot of letters) because that was a past chapter in my life and i didnt want my current bf to find them and let it create a problem for us. Also i know if he found anything or if i were to find anything from his ex it would put doubt in my mind whethre he is over her and whether he is happy with me etc. You have to speak to him and get him to decide what he wants. He shouldnt treat you like that, he should appreciate the fact that you are mothering his children.Dont let him do this to you,You deserve better and shouldnt be treated in this manner.

SEXI

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A female reader, Chippy2 United States +, writes (23 April 2008):

Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you to those who answered! To update, I could not bring it up to him yet cause really I am afraid to - but the Ex is Not the Mother of his children ( he has two terrible unruly and rude girls - ages 10 and 12 - from a marriage) After that divorce he became engaged to this woman who he has been texting - he keeps nude photos of her - not in the open but I have come across them as we are redecorating - He and i have dated for 3 yrs I dont get it - Please MORE advice!

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (22 April 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntIf this Ex is also the mother of his children, then he has to be aware of these occasions on his children's behalf, assuming they co-parent and are on good terms.

If this Ex isn't the mother and he is phoning her on all of these occasions - Yeah - I'd be pissed. He shouldn't really even be in touch on her birthday, but I would forgive a phone call when her mother died, that was appropriate. But Valentine's Day? New Year's Eve? You have every right to be pissed. And WHY so often? He has attachments that he hasn't left behind here. I'd be MORE than a little concerned. You need to sit him down and get to the bottom of this. If he gets angry at you he's just deflecting and putting up a front so that he doesn't have to explain it, so don't let him.

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (22 April 2008):

sexi agony auntHi

It depends what type of a relationship you have. I personall would not like the idea of my bf keeping contact with any of his exes and he doesnt like the idea of me and my exes so to keep things simple we dont communicate with exes. I did have an incident when one of my bf exes tried to contact him but i had the phone and even though he asured me nothing was happening i was still abit uneasy so he called her and told her not to contact him as it was causing a problem in his relationship.I think that you should confront him and tell him that you are not happy with what you have found. Set up boundaries in your relationship. If you arent happy about something let him know. If he really is sorry give him a chance and make sure that he is really sorry. Dont let him say he is sorry and keep do this behind your back. You should also be abit more aware from now on.

Regards,mail me if you wanna talk

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