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... Send *hildof1981 a private message | | | *hildof1981's profile:Name: Jeff
Born: 08/20/1981 in Syracuse, NY. Living in Ithaca, NY
Education: BA in Computer Science, Minor in Math
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ithaca,_New_York
I have no idea what qualifies me to give advice. I think I carry a unique perspective that balances the issues of love, practicality, and internal honesty to render sound advice. |
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Do We Really Have a Future Together?
Q. Should i break up for good or not? I am 28 and i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We have split up before a few times but always got back together after a few weeks. Recently though thinks seem to be getting worse, we argue constant...
A. 6 February 2007: You should never feel that a bad relationship is better than being alone. Six years is FAR too long to not have any idea where you stand with somebody. You are obviously not happy in the relationship, neither of you have made a serious commitment, ... (read in full...)
Are we ever going to have a real relationship?
Q. I met this guy a year ago and we became friends who sleep with each other. He made it clear we couldnt become anything more so, I went off with this other guy for a month. when this ended he was there for me and I started seeing him again. he said ...
A. 31 January 2007: Could you clarify your reply, your sentence structure makes it hard to decipher what exactly is going on.... (read in full...)
Are we ever going to have a real relationship?
Q. I met this guy a year ago and we became friends who sleep with each other. He made it clear we couldnt become anything more so, I went off with this other guy for a month. when this ended he was there for me and I started seeing him again. he said ...
A. 31 January 2007: First, the undertone is that you are displeased with your relationship with this friend. You both chose to supplement a lack of sex in romantic relationships with sex from a friendship, which both of you took advantage of. "I tried to end it ... (read in full...)
I want to lose 1 and a half stone by August. Am I getting enough excersise?
Q. I'm going on holiday in August, and I'm starting to excersise a bit more now. I go out for a mile run twice a week, and eat relatively healthily, eating chocolate about twice a week. I'm 5'7'' now, and want to get down to 8 stone by august. I'm curr...
A. 26 January 2007: If you want to loose that amount of weight by August you will need to expend about 390 more Calories than you take in every day.
So you need to do the following.
1. Tally up how many calories you consume every day.
2. Tally up what your a... (read in full...)
I'm 31 and still a virgin. My boyfriend wants us to have sex but I'm scared! Please help.
Q. Hi guys and gals, please help me! i've been dating my boyfriend for about 9 months. I'm 31 and still a virgin he's 28 and slept with 27 girls. 3 of them long term, and has an 8 year old from his first serious relationship. He knows i've never had ...
A. 23 January 2007: The following will be a few caustic solutions to your dilemma, read on at your own peril. I overcome fear with two methods and they are not exactly elegant but they get the job done.
The first is Alcohol, if your mind is getting in the way ther... (read in full...)
My bf gave me a black eye! He says he'll change. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hello,im 21 and i have been in a relationship with an amazing guy for 4 months. We planned to get engaged this year and i really know i love this man. But just over a week ago we had a row, to which he hit me in the face and i still have (a week ...
A. 16 January 2007: You should break things off with this guy. Even though he promises that he will change, that is not something he has control over. There are plenty of other "Amazing" guys out there that don't resort to violence, start looking for one of them and ... (read in full...)
I have symptoms of pregnancy, but both tests turned out negative. I don't know what's going on!
Q. Dear Cupid, so can yall help me? I mean okay the last time me and my *ex* man had sex was November 21. My monthly red ended a week before that. It's now January 10th and I still have not gotten my period. I don't know? I took two pregnancy tests ...
A. 11 January 2007: I am loathe to admit it but we can't do much to help you out. You need medical advice that should only come from a doctor after he has given you a professional diagnosis. ... (read in full...)
He's popular and I'm a geek. I really like him, so what do I do??
Q. I am in love with a boy but hes so popular and I'm unpopular...I was lucky enough to have been put in his class and have gotten to know him over the past three years. I know he likes me too, I can just tell, but he is the most popular boy in our ...
A. 8 January 2007: My first recommendation is for you to embrace your "inner" geek. You are what you are, and there is nothing more attractive about a woman than confidence in who she is. Don't assume that your "geeky" qualities will turn him off, they may actually be ... (read in full...)
My relationship is not progressing after 3 years and I want a life-partner! Any advice?
Q. Think I know the answer to this question already BUT HERE GOES. I`ve a boyfriend that I`ve been seeing for 3 years or so but the relationships never progressed beyond great sex and nights out. This was all I wanted any man for a long time as I had ...
A. 2 January 2007: You should take some time and reflect on your relationship. If when you began the relationship you both agreed that it would not be a serious comitted relationship, then you may have a problem. Overall if you want more than this guy can provide, you ... (read in full...)
My relationship is not progressing after 3 years and I want a life-partner! Any advice?
Q. Think I know the answer to this question already BUT HERE GOES. I`ve a boyfriend that I`ve been seeing for 3 years or so but the relationships never progressed beyond great sex and nights out. This was all I wanted any man for a long time as I had ...
A. 2 January 2007: You should take some time and reflect on your relationship. If when you began the relationship you both agreed that it would not be a serious comitted relationship, then you may have a problem. Overall if you want more than this guy can provide, you ... (read in full...)
Any advice for a wannabe lap-dancer?
Q. I have wanted to be a lap dancer for a long time and, now I'm old enough, I want to try out for it. I'm nearly 20 and a student, so the money would be great! I don't have as much confidence as I used to, that's why I haven't been for an audition ...
A. 27 December 2006: I highly recommend reading some blogs by strippers, this will give you a clear picture about what it is like to be a stripper. I have read more than a few of these blogs because one of my friends was having a bachelor party at a strip club and I ... (read in full...)
He's a christian and we made love by accident and he changed. Is there any hope or are we over?
Q. It has been 8 months ago. He saw me from across the room and it was love at first sight. We dated for 4 months and he told friends I was the one. I had also met his family and church members. He chose what house we were going to get, what dog we ...
A. 26 December 2006: I am skeptical about the "We had pre marital sex by accident" statement. Things like that don't just happen by accident, you both made a choice that at least one of you seems to regret but to call it an accident is probably disengenous at best.
... (read in full...)
My bf is in his 30's and he's a bigtime 'Mama's Boy!" How do I deal with this?
Q. Need advise I am dating a man since for a year now. We are both in are 30's,but he is a few years younger than i.I have never ment his mother but by things mentioned she does not agree with this relationship. He is a BIG TIME mamma's boy and admi...
A. 26 December 2006: Your relationship is not working on a practical level. Your partner has simply not integrated you into his life and that is a dead giveaway that he is not serious about the relationship. He may not even realize this himself, and that is something he ... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out? How can I cover myself if she rejects me?
Q. i really fancy this girl in my school. i want to ask her out. she's really shy. i talk to her on msn everyday. today i started talkin about a girl my mate fancies than i slowly asked her, she said no one. she asked about me, i said someone. she had ...
A. 22 December 2006: If you are going to ask her out, do it privatly and in person don't do it using IM. I also do not recommend trying to cover anything up, the only way to do that is to be ambigious about your intentions. This can leave the girl confused and wondering ... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out again? I was rejected the last time I asked.
Q. there is this girl i love,when i asked her out the first time she said no,i guess because we were in the crowd.she then stopped talking to me.after me started talking to me.i would like to know how to ask her out a second time and to gain her trust ...
A. 22 December 2006: There is a concept in chess that if you offer a draw and it's rejected, offering again without a substantial change in the board is considered bad form. I think the same applies to dating, unless circumstances have changed substantially just accept ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks we don't have enough in common to stay together!
Q. my Girlfriend doesn't think we have enough in common for a relationship do u think she could of meet someone that has more in common with her? or is she trying to make me see that we don't have a lot on common in our relationship. ...
A. 11 December 2006: People can drift apart over time, this happens and there is not much you can do about it. Relationships are based on common ground, without it you face a never ending struggle just to hold the relationship together instead of enjoying it.
If you ... (read in full...)
Can you tell the difference between being asked out as a "friend" or a "date"?
Q. How can you tell the difference between a guy asking you out to dinner as a friend and as a potential gf? And what are good ways to tell guys you are not interested and keep them as a friend? ...
A. 5 December 2006: First, the guy that caused you to ask this question is interested in a romantic relationship. You are suffering confustion because when he asked you to dinner he explicitly asked in a manner that made you question if it was a date or as friends. ... (read in full...)
Shall I mix work with pleasure with work at the xmas party!?
Q. Hi, I really like this guy at work, we sometimes chat when we see each other on breaks etc and on e-mail, I have just found out he is single, what should I do next? We have a Christmas Party coming up in 5 weeks, should I wait until then as I don't ...
A. 10 November 2006: Nothing screams potential disaster worse than the office Christmas party. The possibility of damaged reputations, rejection, and co-workers perceptions of your relationship can all serve to make your work environment suffer afterwards.
I would go... (read in full...)
My gf left me for another guy. What can I do?
Q. i am in university my ex g/f called it quits for another man yet i still love her what do i do/ ...
A. 8 November 2006: It takes two people to form a relationship and even though you may still love her, she does not seem to feel the same way about you. You should remember the time you had with her fondly, and gracefully move forward.
... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but I know all he wants is sex!
Q. Im 15 years old and like an 17 year old he iss soo awsomee. he is just plain amazing. but im so confused he is saying he likes me but I know him to well to know im not good enough for him and all he wants is sex. I totally want to have sex with hi...
A. 2 November 2006: I would take a few steps back here and give the situation some serious evaluation. I would ask yourself the following questions and do some self reflection.
1. Sex can have serious consequences, such as pregnancy or STDs (including AIDS). Are you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't let me go out with anyone!! What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend wont let me go out with anyone but him he even gets mad if i want to be with my girlfriends for just a night what should i do? i know he loves me but this is not right...
A. 1 November 2006: I agree 100% with Lemonpixie, this behavior is a common trait in the early stages of an abusive relationship and will lead to no good. By showing anger at you for wanting to go out with your friends he is showing a fundamental lack of respect to ... (read in full...)
I wnat to break up with my bf but it will break his heart. What should I do?
Q. I have been going out with this really lovely guy for almost 2 years, But recently I have started to have feelings for my best guy friend instead of my boyfriend. I know the right thing to do is to break up with my boyfriend, but I know that he ...
A. 30 October 2006: I think the term "Heartbreak" is greatly exaggerated here.
Most people I know during their 16-25 years averaged about 6 relationships, and very few of them were serious. Your BF will get over it, it always sucks to break up but it's not like you... (read in full...)
I came to work hungover and this guy I liked, asked if I pulled someone else...does this mean he's interested in me?
Q. I really like this lad I work with but the trouble is I don't know if he feels the same. We've been working together for almost a year now and we have a laugh together and can talk for ages on the most random topics. He always seems to make time to ...
A. 30 October 2006: He is interested. Either make the first move and ask him out, or throw out every "ask me out" signal you can think of.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him out even though I have feelings for someone else?
Q. I haven't ever had a proper relationship even though I am 19. I really fancy this guy in my year at uni and have done so for ages, but am way to shy to make the first move. However I really met another guy who i like but not quite so much, who is ...
A. 27 October 2006: I have my own thoughts on the ethical concerns, but it would be a lengthy explanation. So, I will just give you the easy way to deal with this.
Ask the guy you really like out. If he says yes, you get the guy you want. If he says no, you have ade... (read in full...)
My daughters boyfriend now thinks we hate him when he couldn't be more wrong!!!
Q. My daughter has been seeing her boyfriend for just over a year. My husband and I love him. Recently they had a bump in their relationship, but seemed to have gotten over it. While my daughter was hurting, I was there to listen to her, trying to be ...
A. 24 October 2006: A lot of people might advocate talking to the boyfriend about this. Depending on the guy I am not sure that would work well.
I would recommend doing some kind of loving surprise for your daugher, and including the boyfriend in the planning... (read in full...)
How can he really be over the relationship after just 2 days???
Q. Is it really that possible for my ex to get over our serious relationship after 2 days after we broke up? The day after we broke up a friend of ours said that you could tell that he was bummed but 2 days later he acted like there was nothing wron...
A. 24 October 2006: Without knowing the specifics of your breakup I don't know for sure.
In many cases, a relationship can end a long time before a breakup happens. If this was the case, your BF has likely made his peace with the relationship being over a long tim... (read in full...)
We're not together anymore but I am still a virgin and have the option to lose it with him!
Q. This is going to sound really weird. But last week i split up with my boyfriend of 6 months. It was my first relationship, but we never had sex (he was very patient with me). I am a virgin (i am in my mid 20's) and although the thought of having sex ...
A. 21 October 2006: The issue seems to be that you want your first time to be special. You want to feel like you are giving a special emotional gift to a person so it carries significance to both you and them. Without a relationship with this guy, you just don't feel ... (read in full...)
They all seem to be trying to split us up...I'm 16 he's 13!
Q. Hey guys im 16 and ive got a bit of a problem. for starters everyone is trying to split me and my boyfriend up because he's 13 and i no that sounds bad but we had a long chat about it and were not going to get too seriouse becasue of the ...
A. 20 October 2006: You need to stand on your own. When you are in love, it's ok to miss the person and want them to be close. You seem to feel empty without this other person, and thats not right. You need to be a complete person who is content with themselves before ... (read in full...)
Should I eventually tell my kids I was raped as a teen?
Q. I was raped at the age of 14, my husband knows about this, and is very supportive of it, should i tell my children, when they are old enough?...
A. 20 October 2006: I think you should keep this one to yourself. You can provide information about rape and sexual abuse to your children without adding the personal element into it. They will probably lack the emotional context to deal with that knowledge in a ... (read in full...)
His behaviour tells me he doesn't love me anymore and I know I don't love him!
Q. I have been with my husband for five years and married for two. At first our relationship was great and had a lot of respect and love for eachother, but soon he started taking advantage of me financially and this year he started to act violently ...
A. 18 October 2006: Leave this guy ASAP, you can't live life walking on eggshells and unable to talk with your own husband.
... (read in full...)
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