A
female
age
51-59,
*aliCal
writes:My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years, and I have been putting up with his ROVING EYES the entire time.ANY time that we go anywhere, he ALWAYS finds another female that he is attracted to... and makes no secret of it.He first makes eye contact with them, then constantly glances in their direction the entire time. They usually respond the same way, by smiling at him, and returning the gazes. They begin a "FANTASY EYE CONTACT ROMANCE" between the two.He is not really THAT good looking, but he attracts other women easily, because he is an Alpha Male, and portrays it.He denies it when I bring it to his attention. He says that I am "accusing him of something that he is not doing" But I am NOT BLIND. I also have said to him, that he "should be focusing on making ME feel special, and not THEM." He says he loves me, but I am beginning to feel as though I am not enough for him. And I am beginning to not believe that he really loves me. This is really hurting my love for him. I am beginning to feel number towards him, each time this thing happensAny advice? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, CaliCal +, writes (28 October 2009):
CaliCal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you for your replies. At my age, I already knew what you would say. I have never been with someone who acts like this. He is 12 years younger than me. He says that age doesn't matter. Apparently it does. I look good for my age. I excersize and take care of myself. He looks older than ME. LoL.
A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (27 October 2009):
 You have pointed this out to him and he denies it and he keeps doing it. He likes the female attention, he is a self centered ass.
The very next time you are out and he does it, reach over and ask him for the car keys, get up and walk out and leave him sitting there to eat alone, pay the bill and take a cab home.
Or you get up and call a cab, either way walk.
We teach people how to treat us, nagging at him isn't working, so reward his disrespect with distance and remove yourself from the situation...or from the relationship for good if he is a selfish ass in other ways, too.
I think it shows a lack of respect and yes lack of committment on his part. He doesn't care enough about making you happy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Next time he pulls this stunt, tell him either he knocks this nonsense off or you're walking, and mean it. It doesn't sound like you'd be losing much anyway.
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A
female
reader, icelordess + ♥, writes (27 October 2009):
 This would be very hurtful to me as well. I wouldn't be able to put up with it. I'm assuming this man is close to your age right? He's acting like a teenager. Its disrespectful and quite frankly, I would find it disgusting. Of course you feel hurt! I don't know if you can get him to stop this, even if you talk to him, so I guess you have to decide if you want to put up with it or not. I wouldn't. You can do better. There are men out there that have eyes only for the woman that they love, but apparently your guy doesn't seem to be one of him. Perhaps its just a game to him, but when its hurting you, its not cute.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): You need to initiate REAL ROMANCES with other men. Dump him!
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (27 October 2009):
Honey I feel bad for you. If you have expressed concern about his behavior and he continues to do the same thing over and over it is disrespectful. No matter what is really going on, if you find it hurtful and he continues to do it, then it is disrespectful. You deserve to be respected by him. He needs to see that it is a concern for you and that he is hurting you by this behavior and he needs to stop it if he cherishes you. If he continues to do this, you should move on because you are deserving of somebody who can love you and respect your feelings the way you need to be loved and respected. You deserve that in your life.
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