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I can't figure out what's wrong with my relationship!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *L3 writes:

Hello everyone!

My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 11 months now. We both graduated college. He has a job and Im still looking for one. He lives about 45 minutes away from me so we get to see each other about 2 times a week. Other than that all we do is text each other. About 3 months ago he got transferred to a new office so his work schedule is COMPLETELY different every week. He has 1 weekend off a month, everyday he works different hours than the other, sometimes he works from 1pm-12am, he has 2 days off a week but they are always scattered so we can go maybe 4 days without seeing each other. I've made an effort to go visit him for lunch as often as I can, but I feel like its always me inviting myself to go see him for lunch, he never asks me to go and when I asked him about it he said that he doesn't want to seem like an inconvenience.

We have both acknowledged that we feel something is different in our relationship. We aren't all lovey dovey like we were at the beginning, and just feel like something is wrong but we cant figure out what it is therefore we don't know how to fix it. We both desperately want to fix it and we both love each other just as much as we did before.

Can anyone give me some advice or anything?

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A female reader, bitch United States +, writes (7 October 2009):

Maybe you both are just tired. I mean it sounds like he works hard and you are working hard looking for a job. You both have different schedules now. And you are not in the honeymoon stage of the relationship anymore, that will change things as well. It is never going to be like it was in the begining of the relationship. That ALWAYS changes with time. Always! But if you both love each other, and are getting along well when together, you should be fine.

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A male reader, vampiric_nikolas Côte d'Ivoire +, writes (6 October 2009):

yep the spark is fading. your trying to hold on to what you once had a reignite the flame. he doesn`t seem to be putting much effort in keeping the flame. just restating your words. if your tired of attempting to fix something thats broken then find something new. but if you think theres hope continue doing what your doing. point is don`t waste your time if he isn`t willing to help maintain. good luck

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A male reader, doom France +, writes (6 October 2009):

doom agony auntWell in my oppinion it's just a difficult time, work crazy schedule etc... and i'm a bit surprised why doesn't he make desicions in your relationship, maybe he is very tiered and has a lot of problems and wants you to understand him, or he is still shy in your relationship and let's you decide things. Just talk to him find time for minimum to see 4 times a week with each other.Don't forget at this age sex in relationship is important also.

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