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Im from Ireland and Im 37 I am married to a fab guy for 17 years and have six children. I am currently studying to be a life coach. I hope the comments i give are of some help.
I love giving advice and have been a bit of an agony aunt for my friends for years.
Would love to hear your comments on some of the advice i have given.
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I dont want to get rejected, can you tell by eye contact if she likes you!?
Q. i really like this girl. sometimes i feel like asking her out, but i'm not sure if she likes me. i dont wanna get rejected! i want to go somewhere with, she will bring her mate along. but dunno how to ask. we barely talk in school but talk fine on ...
A. 9 March 2007: You usually get vibes from someone if they like you eg flirting, body language and yes eye contact? does she smile at you alot? Being rejected is hard to deal with and does little for your confidence you you have to experience rejectiona at some ... (read in full...)
I pay for everything, he has no qualms spending my money, my mum disapproves, will he change ?
Q. I met a guy while I was in the West Indies on holiday through my aunt. he bascially is a taxi driver but he close to my Aunt.feelings started to happen when we spent a day together.On my return i rang as I could not get him out of my head.He was ...
A. 9 March 2007: He has done nothing for you except spend your money. I think he is taking you for a bit of a ride. You are shelling out money for this guy who is clearly happy to keep taking it. I think you should listen to your mother who has your best ... (read in full...)
I pay for everything, he has no qualms spending my money, my mum disapproves, will he change ?
Q. I met a guy while I was in the West Indies on holiday through my aunt. he bascially is a taxi driver but he close to my Aunt.feelings started to happen when we spent a day together.On my return i rang as I could not get him out of my head.He was ...
A. 9 March 2007: He has done nothing for you except spend your money. I think he is taking you for a bit of a ride. You are shelling out money for this guy who is clearly happy to keep taking it. I think you should listen to your mother who has your best ... (read in full...)
My GF is judging me and bringing up my past, it really hurts,she says she will stop but doesnt! What do I do ?
Q. My girlfriend keeps bringing up things I have done in the past, and it hurts me to be judged... Am I doing the right thing? I had a very long relationship when I was really young and when I came out of it, i fooled around a lot, with more t...
A. 9 March 2007: She is being very unfair to you what happened in your past is your business and you have nothing to be sorry for. You need to tell her straight the next time she does it that she is pushing you away by doing this and if she does it again you will ... (read in full...)
Im 17 have a 12month old and am 5 Months pregnant, I love my fiance, but cant get over my childhood sweetheart!!
Q. hi im 17 i have a 12 month old daughter and im 5 months pregnant im engaged to a wonderful man but im still in love with my childhood sweetheart of 2 years we split up because i moved but we still keep in touch and i love still love him. i also love ...
A. 9 March 2007: Im sure you know in your head what the right decision is but in your heart you are totally confused. You are in a relationship with a man you love and have a daughter and another one on the way. You need to settle down and give this relationship ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't support my business, nor does he does anything at home either!
Q. My husband does not support me. I am starting a business for our family to be self-sufficient and he does not want to have anything to do with it. He does not want to talk about it with me or comment. He just does not seem to care. This really ...
A. 9 March 2007: God how many women out there can relate to this. Girl its up to you to set him straight on a few things. They are his kids too and he needs to start taking abit more responsibility. Women often complain about husbands not helping around the house ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my guy of 4years, I dont want to leave him, but I want to be with the other guy too!!
Q. hey i cheated on my bf of four years recently with a man that ive been in love w/ for almost 10 years. me and the other man had gone out off and on for a long time then we lost touch and got back together. he has a gf too. i don't feel guilty e...
A. 9 March 2007: Well you cant have it every way its up to you to decide who you want. You are not playing fair with your boyfriend cheating on him isnt the way to go and you dont even feel guilty. Give the guy a break end the relationship and go after your new ... (read in full...)
I wrote her a poem but she asked another guy out! I am hearbroken! What should I do?
Q. I admit I can give advice to other people but I am to scared to ask this girl out. Her name is Kayla Davis 13 1/2 years old and in the 8th grade.I am 15 1/2 years old Kody(It's Irish name) and I am in the 9th grade we go to church together and I f...
A. 8 March 2007: This is terrible for you. Relationships at this age dont usually last too long so you could still be in with a chance. I would still keep her as a friend and see her at church and when you feel the time is right give her the poem. Tell her when ... (read in full...)
My gf and I are sort of together, but I get on well with another. Should I pursue her instead?
Q. Hello, I am wondering if you could help me. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and things have started to get a bit 'bumpy'. We are sort of together at the moment but sort of not. There is this other girl who i really like and ...
A. 8 March 2007: I think you should tell your girlfriend its over and go after this girl you really like. Everyone wants to be happy and if this girl can do that then go for it. Let your girlfriend know its over before you go after this other girl as she deserves ... (read in full...)
He is 20 years older and ever time I want to tell my parents he backs out!!
Q. I am a 17 year old girl and have being in a relationship for about 7 months the only problem is he is 20 years older than me and he is also my line manager. We havn't told my parents about us yet and i want to as i am sick of walking and sneaking ...
A. 8 March 2007: I can understand that you are both scared of your parents reaction. Are you sure it is wise doing it this way. You know your parents how are they going to react? Would you not be better having a chat with your parents and letting them get used to ... (read in full...)
We got engaged and now I am lucky if we have sex at all!
Q. I got engaged to my fiance 6 weeks ago. We used to have sex fairly regularly, 3 - 4 times a week, but now I'm lucky if I get to have any at all. Lately he's been spending more and more time at the local fast food joints, and every time I try and ...
A. 8 March 2007: This is meant to be a very happy time in your life but instead you are feeling stressed and unhappy. This behaviour seems very odd and he needs to explain it to you.I think you have every right to be worried. If he wont talk to you and explain ... (read in full...)
I don't know what I've done to make her pull away from me... any advice?
Q. Dear All My apologies for my continued posting but I just can’t do without you guys, seriously! I feel that by posting I can just let out my feelings! My life has been crazy these last two weeks after two and a quarter years of knowing a girls...
A. 8 March 2007: I think that you are getting yourself in a bit of a state here. If I didnt know better i would say wou are talking about royalty. Why is she so special? She isnt given you any signals that she is thinking about you in the same way.
I really thin... (read in full...)
What can he and I do to help me relax and keep me aroused so I can stay in the moment?
Q. I posted this question before but I'm not sure if it was understood the way I intended. Everytime my boyfriend and I go to have sex, I find I have a hard time being turned on. I think it's because I start thinking about losing my virginity and my ...
A. 8 March 2007: You are not ready to have sex. When you are ready to have sex it will feel natural and you wont be worried. The more you worry the worse it will become. If and when you feel you are ready let your whole mind go ,it will not happen if you are ... (read in full...)
I feel so submissive. I want more but where does that leave him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a two year old little girl. I think I love him but I don't care about our relationship anymore. For years I've begged for attention and ask him to respect how I feel about things and although ...
A. 8 March 2007: You should leave this man or kick him out. He is dragging you down. Why waste yourself on him. Hes not going to change. He doesnt appreciate what he has in front of him. Crying doesnt help as you have come to realise he porbably doesnt even ... (read in full...)
Why do I always want things to happen quickly for me in life?
Q. Why do i want things to happen quickly for me in life? When i am relating with someone i want them to meet my demands quickly as well. What's wronG? ...
A. 8 March 2007: What wrong is you are in a terrible hurry to get through life. Slow down. When you want something and you have to wait to get it you appreciate it more but if you keep getting things as soon as you want them wheres the fun in that. Relax walk ... (read in full...)
I prefer texting to phoning as I don't like the awkward silences, how can I make him understand this?
Q. i'm15. been dating this guy for a few months now. i love him soooo much but he calls me like everyday and like sumtimes more than once a day! he also expects me 2 phone him all the time, but i am the kinda gal who likes texting instead. its not that ...
A. 8 March 2007: Tell him that you know when you text him its for his eyes only but that when you talk on the phone others overhear your conversation. Also its alot cheaper to text and much more convenient for you.
Aunty t... (read in full...)
Is there any advice you can give me on how to make her feel better and be there for her without having to cuddle her?
Q. hi, my wife recently lost a very close family member. Well all i've tryed to do over this past week is be there for her but now that the funeral is over she is worse than she was before. Everytime i ask her how shes feeling she keeps saying shes ...
A. 8 March 2007: This really saddens me there are two people here who obviously love each other so much and cant help eachother. You cant cuddle her and she cant make you. But yet you seem to care so much for her. Can you even hold her hand or stroke her hair. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to send him naughty pics but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him. this...
A. 8 March 2007: Have you thought about what he could do with those pictures,it doesnt even bare thinking about. This is a very bad idea so dont even consider it. He is wrong to ask you to do this. You have to stand up for yourself and say no. I cant and wont do ... (read in full...)
How can I get him back and let him see I'm much better than her?
Q. OK, I don't know where to begin. I was seeing a man for several years. Our relationship was great. He was separated from his wife, we both have two children. The kids are the best of friends. "Gary" and I were friends for 2 years prior to s...
A. 8 March 2007: Well done you on losing all that weight that is fantastic. I cant believe this man i think he is out for himself and I think you need to move on with your life. Its sounds like you are feeling very depressed and its very hard to get focused when ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to "cut the cord?"
Q. so i just moved back to my hometown after 4.5 years, and i ran into an old boyfriend that i dated right after highschool. when we were together, it was great...we were thick as theives...i am close with his family, and they have always wanted us to ...
A. 8 March 2007: I cant believe that he knows you are sitting in the room and he is replying to her emails in front of you. He clearly hasnt grown up as much as you think and he still has feelings for this other girl but is annoyed by the way she has treated him. ... (read in full...)
His ex wife wanted nothing to do with him until she heard he was seeing someone else. Now we can't get rid of her and I don't know how to handle it?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend has been divorced for 1 year and 5 months. He married in 2002 and got seperated in 2003/ beginning of 2004. He was with his ex wife for 10 years all together. They do not have any kids. I am 20 and he is 35 and we've been together ...
A. 8 March 2007: This is typical behaviour she didnt want him until she realised he was making a life without her. I dont blame you for being upset. I feel this is upsetting him too. He is going to have to get tough with her and start ignoring her calls and not ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and in love with this guy but I need to get him out of my head once and for all! How can I do this?
Q. I want to finally get over this guy, he's 15, and has just lost his virginity to a girl he's been seeing for a while now. I've been in love with him for two years now, and I'm sick of having my heart broken by him. He only pays me attention when he ...
A. 8 March 2007: When you fall in love with someone and they dont feel the same it really hurts and it doesnt matter what age you are. This guy clearly is involved with someone else and only pays you attention when he wants to. You probably feel that you heart ... (read in full...)
We broke up and his friend raped me. We got back together and when I told him he said he can't deal with it anymore. What do I do?
Q. me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i became good friends with his friend.. but his friend raped me one night when we were out at a club. me and my boyfriend got back together and have been together for a month but i just told him what ...
A. 8 March 2007: You poor thing what a terrible thing to happen to you.Did you report this to the police. His friend should not be let away with doing this to you. Your boyfriend on the other hand has just been told his friend raped you. I would say he is shocked ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fancy somebody else's wife?
Q. Is it wrong to fancy someone else's wife? ...
A. 8 March 2007: absolutely not everyone fancies someone else at some stage in their life. This is perfectly normal but once you leave it at fancying her and dont take it any further. ... (read in full...)
We have decided to move in together and get married, now he's dropped a bombshell... he's £50,000 in debt!!!
Q. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 5 years. We are very much in love and have decided to move in together and get married. We both have good well paid jobs however he has dropped a bomb shell! He is £50,000 in debt and has hidden it from me till now. ...
A. 8 March 2007: God love him I would say he wanted to tell you but just didnt know how. This is a whopper of a debt and you need to know how it came about. Does he have a spending addiction and has it stopped? I think buying a house would be a bad move at the ... (read in full...)
I like him and I know he likes me too but he keeps going on that his friend likes me but I want HIM! What do I do here?
Q. Their is this guy at school, I like him and I know that he likes me, he gives the impression that he likes me too. I ask him to meet up with me on weekends, and he does, he flirts but i dont know whether this is just friendly or something more. He ...
A. 8 March 2007: i would say that yes he does like you but his friend does too. Maybe he feels he would be betraying his friend if he went out with you. I think you need to let him know that it is him you are interested in. He may not want to upset his friend but ... (read in full...)
I asked this guy I fancy if he was free and I was shocked at his response.
Q. I Really fancy this guy but I asked him if he was free and he said he has a girlfriend and that its "just fucken " with me "in a strictly plutonic". I was shocked by his response as I thought he really liked me as he had told me 2 months previous ...
A. 8 March 2007: Why would you waste time on this guy. He clearly isnt interested in you or anyone but himself. Forget about him even if he was interested in you i wouldnt go near him he sounds like a real jerk. Find someone who will treat you with the respect ... (read in full...)
Was he just trying to make me feel better say that he liked me?
Q. dear agony aunts, a few months ago i got with a guy i thought i really liked. a few of his bad habits annoyed me a lot. i felt smothered so in about a week i broke it off. the trouble had been i didnt know him well enough. i started dating another ...
A. 8 March 2007: I would say he is telling the truth and doesnt want to go into another relationship. He may very well like you but isnt into getting serious. I know that you really like him so i would just hang in there for a while and see how things pan out. If ... (read in full...)
I went to a party and got wasted, now I think I might be pregnant to my best friend's boyfriend and I don't know what to do?
Q. Hey all. i am 17 years old. My best friend of like 10 years had been going out with a guy since grade 6 thats like 7 years!! 2 weeks ago we all went to a party and got involved in drugs and stuff. We got completely wasted. I dont know how but it h...
A. 8 March 2007: First things first. You need to get a test to see if you are pregnant. If you are you need to tell a parent or relative so you can talk about your options. Another major concern if you are not pregnant is STD's. Having unprotected sex nowadays ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend confessed to having an affair and is pregnant help!
Q. My girlfriend confessed to having an affair and is pregnant help!...
A. 8 March 2007: You must feel so upset by this. What a bombshell. Has she told you who she thinks the father is? If you are the father it is your responsibility to stand by the baby and play an active role in its life if its not yours then you must decide if ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and feeling neglected by my older partner because of his teen kids! What should I do?
Q. I am a 27 yr old female and 22 weeks preg with my first child. I am not married nor engaged but i have a loving boyfriend. my boyfriend is a lot older than me and has 2 teenage children from his previous marriage. hes children are very needy and are ...
A. 8 March 2007: I think you are in for a rocky ride. He is being very unfair to you. When you are pregnant you need a little extra tlc. I think one night a week is very unfair especially as you are carrying his child. If this is a taste of things to come I ... (read in full...)
Just hit second base with my bf...please help!
Q. I think me and my bf just hit second base. He fingered me. I'm 15 and he's 17 what do i do? help please...
A. 8 March 2007: You seem a bit troubled by this. Is it what you wanted? It is possible to get into situations where you are afraid or dont know how to say no. If you are not ready for this then you must tell him your not ready. If he cares about you he will ... (read in full...)
Should I take my posters down or leave them up?
Q. i have around over 50 posters of different guys from bands many of the posters have the words the sexiest men in rock on them. i have loads of billy martin poster which my bf knows i used to have a thing for. my bf is coming round soon shoul...
A. 8 March 2007: It really is up to you getting jealous of posters is a bit childish. Do you still enjoy looking at them if yes then leave them up. It would be a different story if you were sharing the room but that is your space so i wouldnt worry about it.
A... (read in full...)
Will my ex realise that the new guy in her life is a player and will hurt her?
Q. I have just come out of a relationship with a lovely girl. She said it was because of her job, but then she told me she was seeing someone else, who is known as a player (testified to me by many people). They had been friends for 6 months before ...
A. 8 March 2007: This is very hard for you. You really liked this girl and she went straight into another relationship. I really wouldnt worry about this any more she made a decision to go out with this guy so i would just leave them to it. You are the one who ... (read in full...)
Are there any women out there in their 50's who are with partners who are 15 years or more younger? Would love some insights?
Q. Older Woman in Age Gap Relationship. Are there any women out there in their 50's who are with partners who are 15 years or more younger than them? I'd love to chat about the highs and lows!!! Did any of you leave your husband to be with yo...
A. 8 March 2007: I know of one woman in her 50's who left her husband after twenty years of marriage. She is now dating a guy in his late twenties and couldnt be happier. He has plenty of energy that her husband didnt have and treats her like a princess. Some men ... (read in full...)
Ever since my best friend moved, I've totally changed. I'm very unsettled by this. Help!
Q. Hi i'm a 15 year old girl. i am going to ask something but i dont think there is any correct answer to this. i would just like to know what everyone thinks and if anyone has ever been in this type of situatuion. My best friend of like 8 years...
A. 8 March 2007: This is not a very good road that you are on. I think your friend leaving had a very big impact on your life and hurt you so deep. You are now putting up this image that really isnt you. You need to put your life back in order. Dropping your ... (read in full...)
Is a ring on her finger, a new house and guilt, enough reason to ignore her true feelings for me?
Q. Thanks for your reply; but i have another query - I have asked this girl if she loves the man she is engaged to and she says "I care about him - i have feelings for him that won't just go away and while i have them i will not leave him." I ask her ...
A. 8 March 2007: I dont think a house a ring a partner etc is any excuse to stay with someone she only cares about. She is being very unfair to you. Why dont you ask her straigt if she can ever see the two of you together. If my opinion i dont think she will ever ... (read in full...)
Was this all innocent last year or do you think he was messing around?
Q. going out with my b/f for almost 2 years. In the summer (which was like 6 months of going out) when looking through his phone(which he was there with me so it was ok) i saw a dialed call to a girl to which i said who is this. He tells me an old ...
A. 8 March 2007: I really dont think you have anything to worry about. You seem very jealous of this other girl he has told you on numerous occasions that you have nothing to worry about. But you keep on and on about it. Is this fair? He probably still likes this ... (read in full...)
I really like my friend and can't believe the thought that came into my head about her... now I feel I don't deserve her.
Q. When my friend walked in the door, i had us go around the other way to the computer so we wouldn't walk in front of my step dad. I keep replaying the whole thing in my head and wondering if i did it because he will think she is fat or i was ...
A. 8 March 2007: What you are feeling is perfectly normal. You are generally a good friend and dont let appearances stop you from liking someone for who they really are. This is a very good quality. What you did was totally out of character for you and now you ... (read in full...)
I met her on a dating site but it seems she keeps in contact with others from it too. What should I do?
Q. Dera AA, I met a lovely girl on a dating site a few months ago. I have since learned that she seems to keep in touch with a number of previous boyfriends and had a date with another person from our dating site. we discussed this and I thought we ...
A. 8 March 2007: This girl obviously wants to keep her options open. If you have told her your feelings on this and she still meets other people then I think you are wasting your time. Maybe you are more serious about the relationship than she is. Also she may ... (read in full...)
I am in a long distance relationship but my girlfriend seems to have changed. How can I get her to open up and talk?
Q. Dealing with a long distance relationship that has a become a lot less affectionate and expressive is very hard for me. After a few months of amazing happiness my girlfriend has changed. She is very busy with work, grade school on weekends and tons ...
A. 8 March 2007: I really feel for you and can understand why you are feeling depressed. You are not getting anywhere with this issue. I sthink she is trying to tell you something, maybe this relationship has run its course. Long distance relationships are very ... (read in full...)
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