A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK,I don't know where to begin. I was seeing a man for several years. Our relationship was great. He was separated from his wife, we both have two children. The kids are the best of friends."Gary" and I were friends for 2 years prior to starting a romantic relationship. As time went on, we were still hiding our relationship because I knew his ex prior to their separation. Basically, I grew controlling, clingy, sad, and angry. On Christmas Day last year, on the way back from my parents', I called and started yelling at him about what I thought he should have done with his ex and his kids. He told me then he needed a break. I had become so angry over the last 6 months, and I had let myself go physically, but then would be so sad because of the way I looked. And then we would fight.Well, I haven't been great through the break. I have been pushing him to get back together, crying, begging, etc.I HAVE lost 42 pounds, I still have 62 to go. He said that then I will be hot. BUT he has found someone he is interested in dating. She is as hot as a playboy model. Which I have never been.How do I get over this? Is there a chance for a future with this man? And how can I prove that I am doing better? Please help me, I cannot stop crying...
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, I need to update this situation for everyone.
My ex and I still see each other five days a week. Our children are like brothers and sisters because of the relationship we had before. We eat dinner together, take the kids to movies, etc. We talk on the phone every night.
He is SLEEPING with another woman now! He tells me her body is a perfect 10. There is a situation though. She is 50, and he is only 38.
There has been a slowdown in how I beg/plead/cry with him. I think I still love him, but sometimes now I am wondering if my pride has just been hurt.
Last night, he told me he thinks he is falling in love with her, and she told him almost 1 month ago that she loves him. He doesn't think it will "last forever", and now he never sees himself getting married again because of how his wife wronged him. He says romantic relationships always go south.
My question is this: Would he get rid of me completely if he really was totally in love with this woman?
Do you think a relationship that has moved so quickly can last? He states emphatically that he will NOT expose his children to her for a long, long while!
Do you think a relationship with that large of an age difference can last? And so soon after me, and before he is even divorced?
Realizing that I need to move on and not hold up my life NOW, is there any chance for a future with this man????
PLEASE HELP!
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Well done you on losing all that weight that is fantastic. I cant believe this man i think he is out for himself and I think you need to move on with your life. Its sounds like you are feeling very depressed and its very hard to get focused when you are in this frame of mind.Always take pride in the way you look and do it for you and not for anyone else. I would forget this man keep going with the diet and try to get your life back on target. There are so many men out there who would love you for you and not the way you look. His comment about you looking hot when you loose all the weight is very shallow.It will get back at him if he sees you have got on with your life and are not interested in getting him back even if you are underneath.
O
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 The best way to get over him interested in someone else is to play it cool, and let him THINK it doesn't bother you one bit! You continue with your diet and well done for losing the weight you have so far!
The more you shout and beg and cry the more "needy" you desperate you seem. Would YOU want to go out with someone like that? So come on, take yourself in hand here, no more calls or texts, just chip away at the weight and as it falls off your confidence will return. Always try and look your best, get out and have fun, invite some girlfriends over and talk and have a laugh! Don't let this other girl bother you too much. She might look nice on the outside but beauty is only skin deep and she may not be so pretty on the inside.
You concentrate on getting YOURSELF together, emotionally and physically and let him come to YOU! He will if you just back off and let him see he's not, in fact, "all that."
Eve
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