To apologise for the way I treated her I helped pay for their wedding, but I realize that I love her
Q. This is long and I apologize. But I put myself into this ordeal and I want to know how to get out. I met this great woman when we were 16. We dated the summer after sophomore year (10th grade) but I regret to say that I blew her off most of the ...
A. 15 August 2013: Serving some one makes us love them , because love is not a feeling it is a verb and doing it gives us feelings...
Remember that one day when you are married and have "fallen out of love"
But when I was a newly wed alk thoughts about of mexes fl... (read in full...)
Has anyone with retrograde jealousy ever come to terms with it and found peace?
Q. About 2 years ago I posted an issue in this forum about how my wife cheated on me while we were dating and how lost her virginity to another man. This was despite her telling me she would not have premarital sex with anyone until married and I ...
A. 14 August 2013: I am sorry you are going through this. My stomach is in a knot. I am going through something similar and would love to share it with you, but not as your post has me in angst about the parts of it that are far worse than my story.
I just want you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has retrograde jealousy and its getting worse!
Q. Hello Everyone, I have spent the last week reading everything I could on this website relating to the subject of "Retroactive Jealousy" but I was not able to find much relating to my case (surprisingly, since there is a lot of information here...
A. 14 August 2013: Wow. First let me say you sound like an amazing boyfriend and the part of me that can not relate to this wishes I had her problem. Unfortunately, she sounds a shitload like me. I guess I have retroactive jealousey (thanx for that I am g... (read in full...)
I am a very quiet and boring guy, will girls like me?
Q. I am a 23 year old guy and never had a girlfriend before. Its not that I don't like women/girls, its because I don't know how to get one due to the fact that I always keep my mouth shut, but I can't help it because its my personality. It is kind of ...
A. 14 August 2013: Hi I think the fact that you called yourself boring underlies a self esteem issue that is probably part of the problem. When we reject ourselves we give off a vibe that encourages the opposite sex to reject us too. When, for instance, we ha... (read in full...)
Just learned that my wife cheated while we were engaged
Q. I just found out my wife cheated on me when we were engaged. I'm really confused about what to do. Part of me wants to just leave and get a divorce, but my wife and I have been married for more than 10 years and 3 children. My trust in her is ...
A. 29 July 2013: I'm sorry that you are going through this. A few months after you wrote this, I made a devastating discovery of my own, though I did not get the same comoassion you did.
This sucks. The " it was long ago" people don't get it. Ahe atole your wed... (read in full...)
I like a guy from my karaoke club and he flirts with me but he comes in with another girl
Q. Usually about every Saturday I go to a club(karaoke) and I have some friends male and female. One guy there he is a really good singer and him and I have done some duets together. I have been told that I sing good as well. I know it might sound ...
A. 29 July 2013: He's such a nice guy that he flaunts new girlfriends at his ex's place of work, and flirts with you while he's with other women. Sounds like a keeper. When's the wedding?... (read in full...)
My future in-laws refuse to help my fiancé but do everything for his irresponsible brother who has just got his new girlfriend pregnant
Q. I have a situation...well maybe not really a situation of my own, but I feel it affects my fiance and I enough that I'm not sure how to respond to it. MY fiance's brother just found out his girlfriend of 2 1/2 months is pregnant. Neither has a de...
A. 29 July 2013: Your fiance's situation mirrors mine with my brothers. This is completely unfair and his dad was being an a- hole. Your feelings about this are very accurate and you are the only one seeing sense, which makes it tricky. Your indignation is valid.
... (read in full...)
Why is my mother mean, judgmental and disrespectful towards me??
Q. I apologize for the long post! This is not a post about me bashing my mother, I would never do that. It is also not meant to be disrespectful. I do love her and respect her and I’m sure she loves me to a degree. My mother and I will prob...
A. 29 July 2013: I also have a crazy relationship with my mom. I really have not quite got this all figured our yet, but I was reading a passage in Timothy Keller's "The meaning of marriage" that said something to this effect ( in my own words): When a parent abuses ... (read in full...)
My ex left me over a year ago and I'm no closer to moving on. Even though I've met others there is no space in my heart for them. How can I find peace again?
Q. I need help in moving on, but I can’t get to the next stage. I was in a relationship with another guy for 7 years. It was fantastic or at least I thought so. We rarely argued and I thought it would last forever. Then unexpectedly he said he needed a ...
A. 29 July 2013: I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Seven years is a long, long time.
I will tell you what I think, without any garuntee that it would help. I don't have all the answers, but I hace been in a position where I could barely get ovwr... (read in full...)
I'm confused and don't understand the behavior of my ex
Q. What is wrong with my ex ?.I'm confused. He is the one who contacts me first most of the time ( I hardly contact him, but he contacts me every few weeks to see how I am doing ). He contacted me on Wednesday last week, and asked me if I wanted to go ...
A. 28 July 2013: 1) Staying in touch with our exes is unhealthy and does not turn out well. We may be trying to be "mature" but the most mature thing is cutting ties.
2) This man thinks he owns you. That is why he calls you and that is why he believes he has the ... (read in full...)
What do I do to keep him chasing me?
Q. I have known this guy for a year n half we were pretty close. Recently he has given me excuses that is far too busy to msg me i let it slide he may be telling the truth. I have his other number i see him online on whatsapp at stupid times. Anyway...
A. 28 July 2013: I'm afrais he's not all that interested in you ,anymore. Don't become the "spare" just-in-case girl. You're worth more than this shit head... (read in full...)
He verbally abuses me, we had a fist fight, I don't trust him but I love him!
Q. Hello Agonies. Let me get straight to it..I seem to can't let go and move on from my bf, no matter what he ever did or said to me, whom has cheated on me 5x's, he's very disrespectful, he wants to act like a stray dog and do what he wants to do. ...
A. 7 August 2012: Did you lose your virginity to this guy, because aometimes girls go looney over the dude who popped our cherry.
This man does not remotely like you even a little bit. He dislikes you intenseley. The reason you allow this is because you dislike ... (read in full...)
Why am I cruel because I don't want to be this woman's baby daddy?
Q. I met her in my 20's, she worked with me, and is almost 14 years older than me. She had a reputation as the office slut (she worked as a prostitute before), and almost half of my colleagues slept with her after exchanging money to her.(She even ...
A. 5 August 2012: oh heck no! Do not even talk to her, and stop talking to everyone who says you are wrong, because they are not good friends.
What ever they say, you tell them "well why don't you marry her?"
Why in heveans name are you still talking to this ... (read in full...)
I'm 25 while he's in his 40s'. Is dating someone so much older really a good idea?
Q. I am 25 years old and I work with an older man in his 40s. He sits in the cubicle behind me and another girl. The three of us always chatted and had silly conversations. I'd always greet him in the mornings and speak with him. We'd go out for coffee ...
A. 5 August 2012: If I am honest, my only concern is that you guys got into this relationship so soon. The age difference does not bother me because of the unique circumstances. I do not think that the way this man is treating you sounds at all like a ... (read in full...)
She wants me to be more dirty but now I"m not sure we should have started down this path!
Q. I am really unsure what to make with my girlfriend. We've been together 5 months, throughout May we did not kiss or do anything sexual as she'd commented she felt guilty, plus I had things on my mind so I deliberately didn't do anything. Fro...
A. 30 July 2012: stop. I have been here. This story does not end well. You will have to go through the painful process of breaking up if you want to stop getting physical, but trust me, you will never be okay in the future looking back at a past doing things you ... (read in full...)
I didn't sign on to this marriage for me to be this unhappy and alone!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 26 years, married for 18 years. We did things kinda backwards, had kids, bought a house and then got married. The baby is getting ready to go to college this fall and I have been struggling with what to do ...
A. 30 July 2012: Mark Gungor's "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" google it.
I am weary to give you advice as my own marriage is rocky at the moment, and I have not been married half as long as you. Gungor has a theory on this very situation which I think wi... (read in full...)
Should I be with my husband knowing he belongs somewhere else?
Q. pls help be4 i make a mistake im madly in love with this man my husband and i been trying to make this right from the shock of his cheating that was found out 2 weeks after we got married he was still sleeping with his ex. i have tryed to heal ...
A. 29 July 2012: you are such a beautiful big hearted person. If my husband did that I would be sitting in jail now for murder, not wishing the best for him. You are also very wise, and your instinct is right; it's time to let him go. He has no respect for you,... (read in full...)
Has anyone else survived being a rebound?
Q. My heart has been completely wrecked by my ex. We were friends for over one year before we got together. He was married for most of that time and then discovered that his wife had been having an affair. I was there for him, as a friend, when this ...
A. 29 July 2012: I am so sorry sweet heart. This must be very painful for you. If you are not ready, don't date... Just take some time for you now.
You deserved better, but now, the only way out is through...
... (read in full...)
Why is this guy I like treating me like trash?
Q. I am just very hurt because a guy I liked treats me like a trash or cheap whore something.. He disreapects me and absolutely dose not care about me. He did not ask to have dinner just used me as a booty call. this guy I met at the club. Is...
A. 29 July 2012: Just remember that how someone treats you does not say anything about who you are, it says something about who they are.
Don't talk to this guy again Avoid him. Don't do this ever again. Guys are dogs...
... (read in full...)
What should I do? We broke up but he wants me 'on hold' but in his life? Yet he is talking to other girls already?
Q. Hi all, I have recently (2 weeks ago) broken up with a boyfriend of 4 months. The circumstances of the break-up were as follows: He stopped showing me any affection, he was cancelling plans to see me and he has avoided calls, simply texting m...
A. 28 July 2012: Put the penis down and run! The more you have sex the more confusing it is going to be. You are not going to end up with this one, he doesn't like you enough. He just doesn't want to give up on the free nookie. You're not his top chick, you're h... (read in full...)
Why would a girl get scared off and shy away from guy if he's never had a Gf before?
Q. A question for you girls. If a girl ask a guy when was your last relationship and the guy replies he never had one why would the girl get scared off and not give that person a chance? Though he is very nice and friendly why do women shun away ...
A. 27 July 2012: I wouldn't. I would date him in a heartbeat. Unless by "never had a relationship" I thought he meant "only had flings"
But thats just me, I don't like man hoe's... (read in full...)
This girl DOES want me. However, she has a catch....
Q. I have a good female friend that has a lot of things in common with me, and while I'm flattered that she DOES want to date me, she has a "Little" catch.... I asked her what she would want to do with me, if I got together with her. Her ONLY answe...
A. 26 July 2012: where were you when I was dating jerks? I wouldve loved to have a guy like you.
If it were me, and I said that it would be because I really liked you and thought thats what you wanted to hear. You need to ask point blank...
... (read in full...)
I'm torn between my head- boyfriend, job, house and my heart- family,friends and moments I will never have again..and I don't know what to choose
Q. Hi, Im 20 been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now.i moved from a small town in scotland to a big city to be with him. Everythings been great we get on well and been through so much together. We both have okay jobs here and an okay house. ...
A. 18 June 2012: I would say its time to go home, but thats mostly because it freaks me out that you have been living with a guy since the age of 18... This will be heart breaking though, losing him but you are young and ,maybe city life is not for you? Then... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is sleeping around like a maniac! what is she thinking?
Q. What do you think it goes on in the mind of a 33 years old woman with a kid who I have been with for 7 years when she cheats on you once and you forgave her and then 2 years later you find out she is cheating again and even more she goes out blows ...
A. 6 June 2012: I am so so sorry, I wish I could help, but I have no clue what goes on in her head. I hate cheaters of all kinds!!! I am so so sorry you have had to put up with this!
What if your argument in court was "I fear for the safety of my child, I do not... (read in full...)
My brother told me that he hated me
Q. I've just had a terrible fight with my 17 year old brother. I am 19. I've always helped him out, and have really been nothing but nice to him. He treats me like crap, and today he finally told me he hated me. I am sure he meant it, and I actually ...
A. 6 June 2012: whatever, there are some siblings that are just better out of your life. I don't know if its true in your case, as for me, there's nothing that makes me happier than not being forced to live with the selfish destructive hateful pain in the - That is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is sleeping around like a maniac! what is she thinking?
Q. What do you think it goes on in the mind of a 33 years old woman with a kid who I have been with for 7 years when she cheats on you once and you forgave her and then 2 years later you find out she is cheating again and even more she goes out blows ...
A. 6 June 2012: Whatever her reason, you can't stop her. Maybe she has been abused and is acting out the abusive behaviour, maybe she has low self esteem, doesn't think she's attractive and does it to prive herself wrong. Maybe she's been cheated in the past and ... (read in full...)
The bible says turn the cheek when someone hits you, but enough is enough, I want my own revenge!
Q. Hi all I'm a good decent guy. I treat people like I want to be treated and I live my life always thinking about others and caring for them. I recently found out my gf has been cheating on me from the start of our relationship plus shes into ...
A. 1 June 2012: I am so so sorry! This sucks. It is first class kak! 1) Leave her! That is the best thing you can do. Don't answer her calls, don't respond to her, nothing. Let everything you do show her a big voetsek! 2) take time out for you. Get a p... (read in full...)
One question I get asked a lot is about my past relationships. The problem is, I haven't had any!
Q. I'm over 27 and dating. One question I get asked a lot is about my past relationships. The problem is, I haven't had any. I've had one problem or head trip after another. I've also been a bit of a nerd. I can honestly say that I am over all of t...
A. 1 June 2012: here you are fearing you won't get a second date and here I am dying to date you... No exgirlfriend drama!! Sounds like paradise to me.
Chill out, make a bit of a joke about havin been a nerd before, it's kinda sexy... And then say seriousl... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's best female friend has been showing him naked pictures of her!
Q. I'm not good with asking advice. So I'm sorry if I give you too many irrelevant details. Here I go My boyfriend, who I've been with for 10 months now, has one of his best friends (who is a girl) flirting with him. And I love him, He loves...
A. 1 June 2012: can I just fly over there and beat her up? Seriously, I can't stand girls like her, they drive me cuckoo. I know this isn't entirely boyfie's fault but I think that the longer you stay in this relationship the more you will get hurt. This is... (read in full...)
I don't want to know about a girl's sexual past. Why do women find that shallow?
Q. Why do women find my rule shallow? I have this rule when dating that I absolutely DO NOT want to know anything about a girls past sexually. I have this rule because I'm a virgin and I already know that everyone else has a past and to refrain from ...
A. 1 June 2012: let them go ahead and call you shallow. They suck. It is awful picturing your partners sexual past, especially when u haven't done that thing. You are cleverer than I was... Good choice. And ur wrong about there not being a virgins at your age. Many ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife is creeping back into his life despite living with her boyfriend and he wont divorce her....
Q. I wrote a couple months back...and need advice. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months. He is still married...he has been seperate from his wife for 2 and a half years...she has been living with her boyfriend for 2 and a half years... Me and ...
A. 31 May 2012: I know its hard, but you have to be brave. It will feel like a band aid being ripped right off of your heart at first, but just be courageous
Just face the pain , don't try to hide it just feel it... Because even though it might not feel that wa... (read in full...)
Questions for women who KNOW they are attractive to men....
Q. You can be walking down the street (or in a store), and men would approach and ask for your name and number. Or you're at the club and they offer to buy you a drink. Pretty much wherever you are, men shower you with attention, even if you just met. ...
A. 29 May 2012: irritating. I used to have people approach me like "oh, you're so pretty, whats you're name?" I used to be hurt that they didnt ask for the name first.
My problem is, I very seldom feel I have this effect on people who know me, just strangers...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife is creeping back into his life despite living with her boyfriend and he wont divorce her....
Q. I wrote a couple months back...and need advice. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months. He is still married...he has been seperate from his wife for 2 and a half years...she has been living with her boyfriend for 2 and a half years... Me and ...
A. 29 May 2012: my sweetheart you are in such turmoil. And such denial.
Read all the posts, I've never seen anything more unanimous on Dear Cupid.
She is not his ex-wife. Ex means divorce...
He does not care for you or your kids, if he did he would give ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my boyfriend but his mom will be my teacher next year! Should I go ahead anyway?
Q. i want to break up with my boyfriend because he has been talking with my emeny but the thing is that his mom will be my science teacher next year and tennis person, should i still break up with him?...
A. 29 May 2012: Sweet heart, you don't have to explain your reason to any one of us. This sounds exactly like the reasoning of a 13 year old, and that's ok.
If you are cross with him and don't want to be with him, then good bye. You really are perfecttly fine and... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend watching porn? I feel sick at the thought of it!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend watches porn, and I hate it! I have some real issues with myself, I have terribly low self confidence and low self esteem. We have a very active sex life, so why does he have to watch other women? What is wrong with ...
A. 28 May 2012: porn addiction. We live in a society that calls it healthy and normal. The reason it makes you feel bad is this. People will argue "its not cheating, how much can he actually DO?" but the problem is he is already DOING all he can. and why????... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my boyfriend but his mom will be my teacher next year! Should I go ahead anyway?
Q. i want to break up with my boyfriend because he has been talking with my emeny but the thing is that his mom will be my science teacher next year and tennis person, should i still break up with him?...
A. 28 May 2012: break up with him. tell your mom or dad your concern and if she gets unproffesional about it next year, they will sort her out.
I dont think she will though. You're 13 - 15, and its ok to break up with him for this reason.
you dont HAVE to sta... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have sex with other men. I think she wants to hurt me because I had relationships before I met her
Q. I've been married for 17 years and the sex is great my wife was a virgin and I was her first. But I on the other hand have had 5 sexual relationships. I only told her about that 7 years ago I tried to before but could see that she didn't whan't to ...
A. 28 May 2012: No. This is a bad idea. If you do it it will end badly. It is just about the worst idea in the world. This will not make her feel any better. It will make her feel like a slut and it will hurt you very deeply. She is not trying to spite you... (read in full...)
Still being judged for an affair 12 years later
Q. 12 yrs ago I had an affair with a married man which resulted in his divorcing his wife and leaving their 3 teenage children. A yr later he and I married and have been happily married ever since. His ex wife continues to call me an adulterer and has ...
A. 28 May 2012: well, your very "happiness" is founded on your having stolen someone elses family. You will not believe how angry I am with my moms first husband and his second wife 36 years after this same thing, even though I would not have been born as a result ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 28 May 2012: whether or not you like this girl, you need to realise that you are male, and when dealing with females you do like you need to be the initiator in relationships because no matter how feminist and liberal people get the cold hard truth is, girls ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 27 May 2012: honestly? You didn't even wave at her when she looked at you and smiled? You're the one who ignored her Mr "too busy& important to get out of my seat and greet you" she thought you were playing it cool, so she did the same.
If you like her, jus... (read in full...)
Mutually abusive marraige--has my wife fallen out of love?
Q. Hi my wife and I are in an abusive relationship. she hits me and throws screaming fits . She also also breaks down my self image verbally.I have in the past retaliated and verbally abused her in turn. Despite this when things are good they are ...
A. 27 May 2012: wow. You seem so stressed. I am in a similar situation. I have hit my dear husband a few times and said terrible things about him. After I do it I feel disgusting. I am shocked at my own behaviour and wonder how I can do something like t... (read in full...)
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