Is marrying my bf the right thing to do??
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years... he's Turkish... I'm going to his country to marry him in March... am i doing the right thing?...
A. 13 May 2008: So... did you marry him?... (read in full...)
Am I bi-sexual? Why was my girlfriend so understanding? Should I confront my friend?
Q. Recently whilst sleeping around my friends, after a night of drinking, I awoke to discover him fondling me. I didn't say anything and just pretended to be asleep. The fondling progressed into him giving me oral sex whilst rubbing himself up against ...
A. 10 May 2008: Oh hon. Sexuality isn't like that. It's not like you are all one thing or another, and labels don't help.
"Our sexual orientation and preference is probably not one discrete and rigid reality. Many believe that our sexuality, and our sexual p... (read in full...)
He expects me to cheat..but I'm not going to. Please help!!
Q. My boyfriend seems all to ready to break off our relationship. He is fixing to go on a job and he has been cheated on several times in the past. When he goes on a job he is gone for several days or weeks at a time, I think that he is afraid that I ...
A. 28 April 2008: Check out this site on how to build trust:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2260798_build-trust.html... (read in full...)
I'm 17yrs old and ready to have a baby with my boyfriend. He'll do it to make me happy but I know he's not ready!
Q. i'm 17 years old, and I live with my grandparents and my boyfriend of two and a half years who is also 17. I want nothing more than to have a baby, I know all the responsibilties because I grew up with my sister who had a baby at 17. I think i'm ...
A. 28 April 2008: DO NOT trap him into this. If he's not 100% ON BOARD with this decision you need to respect that. This is too big a responsibility to take on unwilling.
The decision to bring a child into the world isn't something you do lightly. And right no... (read in full...)
Can anybody tell me what can I do to make him understand that his sister is taking advantage of him?
Q. My husband is so much obsessed with his sister that he believes whatever she says is true. He doesn't even think whether she is telling the truth or not. He is not ready to hear a single word against her at all. He keeps giving her money whenever ...
A. 28 April 2008: You can't. You've already told us that he believes her over you. Nothing you can say will stop that. Don't criticize your sister-in-law to your husband or he will take her side. Come at this from a different direction.
I don't know what the... (read in full...)
There was a lack of passion though he could read my mind. Now, how can I get him off my mind?
Q. I was with my ex a year - we lived together for 6 months. He treated me very well, we got on very well, sometimes it almost seemed he could read my mind, he knew what I wanted before I did sometimes. He was in love with me, and, although I wa...
A. 23 April 2008: You mistake "passion" for "love." Honey, you were in love with him, you just didn't know it.
Passion starts from infatuation, which NEVER lasts. After the infatuation is gone, you have to WORK at keeping the passion. People who believe that lif... (read in full...)
I know I need to walk away but I'm In love with a married man
Q. I have been seeing this man.. who if truth be told is married. I have been seeing him for almost two months now. When I first started seeing him it was just for sex. I told him prior to us being together that there were rules so that I didn't become ...
A. 21 April 2008: Cold Turkey. You now what you have to do, you just don't know how to do it. That's the big problem you're facing. Rip the band-aid off and get on with the healing.
He's not available. You don't have a future with him. And if he cheats w... (read in full...)
Is he having harmless fun with me or trying to manipulate me into sex, by acting slow?
Q. My lad mate is 18 and he keeps flirting with me (on msn, face to face and on text)...i really like him as a mate and is THAT WAY too so i flirt back. as well as being flirty he is sort of playful - he gently pushes me, tickles me, hugs me etc....im ...
A. 21 April 2008: Yes, he's just trying to have fun. But at his age, trying to have sex is what most boys call fun [grin]. Your body, your rules. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. As long as you stick to your ethic you'll be happy. And any guy who ... (read in full...)
Can I have others opinions please as to whether I could be pregnant?
Q. Please can somebody give me advice, I had sex the other day with my sexual partner, it was missionary, and he did come inside me but pulled out very soon after, I cleaned myself up and sat up straight away. The thing is this happened right in the ...
A. 21 April 2008: Yes of course you could be pregnant. Even if he had pulled out before he came you could be pregnant.
You can get some of those pregnancy tests that you take before you've missed a period, but they have a higher failure rate. (They told me I was... (read in full...)
My sister is driving me nuts!!!!!
Q. I'm 13 and my sister is driving me mad, I have started making myself sick so I'm so skinny she will stop calling me fat, I'm at the point were I want to move out as I can take it no longer if I don't I may resort to bigger measures to stop my 16 ...
A. 21 April 2008: Hey Lady Xtina,
work to be comfortable in your own skin, so that whatever anyone else says bounces off. as long as she can yank your chain by saying stuff about you, she has power over you.
you get self confidence by keeping busy: join a sp... (read in full...)
During an argument he said he doesn't have this problem (soft erections) with other girls, could he be cheating??
Q. I confused. my bf and I have been together for 7 years and for the last year or so hes been gettin soft during oral and vaginal sex.now its not every time but happens now and again and I don't complain or say anything. a day ago we got into an ...
A. 21 April 2008: Ask him to see a doctor. Not being able to keep an erection at such a young age could mean any number of illnesses, including diabetes and high blood pressure. It may have nothing at all to do with you.
He may be saying that he doesn't have thi... (read in full...)
How do I tell my Mom about getting engaged? We are young...
Q. hey there all in dear cupid land. me and my boyfriend have been together almost 11 months and are going away for my 18th birthday witch is in two weeks (he's also 18) we have been talking about marriage for a while but latly its been alot more s...
A. 21 April 2008: Tell her the truth. Tell her you're planning on getting married after a LONG engagement. She just wants the best for you, and if you can wait until your education is done then the both of you will have it a lot easier. So assure her that you'll ... (read in full...)
We have dissention amongst our friends due to a newcomer's strange comment - should we ignore the incident or ban the newcomer?
Q. I have a question for all you guys/girls out there. I have a close male friend who owns a vacation property (cabin) on a lake with his wife. A few times a year he has an all guy weekend, There's a lake, a boat, a shooting range, etc. Lots of ...
A. 21 April 2008: Sorry for the "s/he" in my post -- it's my habit of inclusion, not a subtle comment on any of the personalities in the cabin.... (read in full...)
We have dissention amongst our friends due to a newcomer's strange comment - should we ignore the incident or ban the newcomer?
Q. I have a question for all you guys/girls out there. I have a close male friend who owns a vacation property (cabin) on a lake with his wife. A few times a year he has an all guy weekend, There's a lake, a boat, a shooting range, etc. Lots of ...
A. 21 April 2008: Have a private conversation with each to see what s/he meant. You'll never know otherwise. Without knowing all the facts you run the risk of doing the wrong thing.
So you need to know: is Mike a homo-phobe, and is the new guy gay? Did Mike mea... (read in full...)
He smiles at me. Does that mean he likes me?
Q. Ok so i was working at tesco over christmas and the security guard kept smiling at me and talking to me i really took a shine to him but we never liked swaped numbers or anything. my mums bf works with him, and my mum knows him, and to make matters ...
A. 10 April 2008: Smiling at you could mean that he likes you. But it could just mean that he's just a nice guy who smiles at people. It could also mean that smiling at everyone is a required part of the security guard job at that company.
I don't mean to throw... (read in full...)
Is it just a crush or more? I love my BF but his friend excites me more.
Q. I have a bad problem that i cant sort out. I fancy my boyfriends friend, even though though Ive only met him 4 times. I cant stop thinking about him and I know he likes me too as he has told me. I dont know what to do. We live 300 miles apart ...
A. 10 April 2008: There's a big difference between love and infatuation. Infatuations is that feeling you get when you first meet and your heart races. During that time you don't see any of the problems and everything is exciting.
Love develops later. It's a l... (read in full...)
He ignored me, so I kissed another guy. Now he wont forgive me.
Q. i often meet my friend's friends and i met this one guy. after a few times of meeting him i got a bit drunk and kissed him. we hadn't really been friends before this but we met up a few times after and i really liked him. one day i invited him out ...
A. 10 April 2008: So he spent time with another girl, while ignoring you, but he's the one who's put out because you didn't continue to hang on his every word? Humph. That sounds really odd to me.
Did the two of you ever have any reason to be exclusive? Had you ... (read in full...)
My Dad is mean and abusive and I don't want to live with him anymore. What should I do?
Q. hello, i have a question to ask, iam a 28 year old woman still living at home with my parents we dont live in our country. Unfortunately my dad is not really good to live with, he is a liar when you get into an arguement with him he twists your w...
A. 10 April 2008: You need to work to be independent from this man, who is a terrible abuser. He has kept you weak and dependent so that he can keep you around to abuse you. Yes, he's your father. But he hasn't been in the role of protective/nurturing father, so ... (read in full...)
How can I go to a funeral with him being there too?
Q. 2 years ago my cousin and his friend raped me, and i fear my g-pa is going to die soon, how can i go to a funeral with that monster being there too? I need help on this question................
A. 8 April 2008: If you can, you should tell your parents. They will be able to protect you.
If you can't tell them, please try to find someone at school or a doctor to confide in. You really need to find someone who can help you get though this, even if you d... (read in full...)
My parents and family won't accept me being pregnant they would flip out, and bf blames me for not terminating!
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for 2years we had lots of problems in our relationship and he thought i was cheating on him with my ex but i wasn't, i would never do something like that to him I love him to much but he doesn't trust me one ...
A. 8 April 2008: The first thing you need to do is leave that poor-excuse for a man. He's really bad news, and you and your baby deserve much better. I know this part will be hard, but it's important to your feelings of self-worth. He is not good for you, and he ... (read in full...)
I split up with my ex but I can't be his friend, it hurts too much...
Q. I split with my ex a while back, although I know deep down I still like him. He was awful to me and treated me like dirt hence the reason we split up. He used to call me slut among other things, ignore me, spit on me and when I got pregnant he ...
A. 2 April 2008: DO NOT give in to this guy. He's caustic. He's a real looser. He doesn't think about you at all, only himself. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER.
Cut him off. He doesn't get another word from you. Block his phone number. Seriously. Good for you ... (read in full...)
For some unknown reason he's stopped ignoring my calls and I'm nothing without him!
Q. my bf hasnt contacted me for over 3 days. i really miss him, its not like him, he texts me like every minute of the day. im so worried about him, i cant go to his house as he lives like 2 hours away. hes ignoring my calls and text messages. i ...
A. 2 April 2008: can you call him on the house phone? Maybe he lost his cell. Try another method to get in contact.
If you can't get a hold of him that way, it's possible that he's lost interest and doesn't have the nerve to tell you -- some guys are like tha... (read in full...)
My whole life was clouded by his behaviour. 20 years later, his apologies would be nice or should I make him literally pay for the damage done?
Q. Years ago when I was in my early twenties I had a relationship with a man which became emotionally disturbing. He worked abroad in quite extreme war-type situations. He was a charmer and extremely unfaithful. I used to get calls from girls, o...
A. 2 April 2008: For your own health, not for him, forgive him. This does not mean saying what he did is okay. Because that's not true. But by holding on to what he did, you are re-injuring yourself constantly. You need to stop giving him any head room and move ... (read in full...)
He isn't open to suggestions.
Q. Dear Cupid- I am a 25 year old woman with lets just a say a good sexual past. My Husband is older and doesn't quite have the statistics that I have. And he's very sensitive about the topic of Sex. I want sex to last longer and be a little more ad...
A. 11 February 2008: Find a counselor, preferably one who specializes in sex therapy. If you want a future with this man, you need to be able to talk to him. ESPECIALLY about sex. If he can't relax enough about your "past" to stop feeling self-conscious, you're never ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion about porn?
Q. Ok every time I write that i have a problem with my boyfriend watching porn i always get this answer that all guys do it and to expect it. I just want to see more peoples thoughts on it cause if its so harmless, why am I getting so hurt by it? Ill ...
A. 8 February 2008: sorry, clicked too soon.
Anyway, I think troubletoomuch is being both smart and honest to say that he'd rather have a woman who wanted to do it with him than to hide it from her. Judging him for that is crap.
Get over yourself, female... (read in full...)
What's your opinion about porn?
Q. Ok every time I write that i have a problem with my boyfriend watching porn i always get this answer that all guys do it and to expect it. I just want to see more peoples thoughts on it cause if its so harmless, why am I getting so hurt by it? Ill ...
A. 8 February 2008: I loved troubledtoomuch and mandy7's responses. Very honest responses. And I agree whole heartedly. I've had this argument with female anon before. She quotes the one article and decides that it's the end-all be-all of human behavior. ... (read in full...)
Is marrying my bf the right thing to do??
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years... he's Turkish... I'm going to his country to marry him in March... am i doing the right thing?...
A. 8 February 2008: Find out how women are treated in Turkey. What rights would you have? Do you speak Turkish? How would you get along? Can you get a job there (are you allowed to get a job there)? Do the research before Turkey becomes your country, too.
No ma... (read in full...)
This seems so right but we both know it is so wrong but can't end it.
Q. I need some help.I have a friend, a dear friend who has always been there for me and I have fallen in love with him. We are both married although my marriage is abusive and generally unhappy. He and his wife work away alot and she isnt always t...
A. 8 February 2008: Oh, hon, you already know what to do. You know that sleeping with your friend is wrong, or you wouldn't be feeling so guilty about it. And though his wife isn't there for him, he should be putting his energy into either fixing it with her or ... (read in full...)
I was snuggling and kissing this guy I like-the next day I had a red rash on my face! What is it?
Q. hi this boy asked me out yesterday and i said yes. after school we were hugging for about an hour outside the school (it was quite cold). then we kissed (just a normal kiss). then today when i woke up i have really red cheaks and they feel quite ...
A. 8 February 2008: Sounds like whisker burn. I used to get it all the time. I talked my then-boyfriend (now spouse) into growing a beard. Woo hoo!... (read in full...)
People can read me like an open book. Any recommendations?
Q. Im really worried that everyone can read me like a book! I really like this lad who has a gf and he likes me too. I'm not getting involved btw, and just trying my best to get over him. The problem is he goes to the same college as me, and so does ...
A. 31 January 2008: How well do you know the GF? Would it have been a problem to answer her question with "Yeah, I do. I know it's not appropriate and I have NO intention of acting on it, so you have no worries. I'm really sorry I've left us open to gossip, and I ... (read in full...)
Is my partner finding fault in my sexual performance, if she wants a vibrator?
Q. My girlfriend wants a vibrator, but I don't want her to. Why does she want one? Is it becuase I'm terrible in bed? Will she ever want sex again?...
A. 31 January 2008: My husband and I use toys together during sex. It's a lot of fun. You might surprise her with one for Valentines day and use it together. Go to this site: www.blowfish.com and check some out. I've ordered from them before, and they're great. ... (read in full...)
Should I grow my hair long?
Q. I am thinking of growing my hair long. i am a ginger 13 YR old boy and have been told by my classmates that i would not suit long hair. i still want to grow it though. they say that gingers cant have long hair. i am also wondering what style i ...
A. 31 January 2008: My husband grew his hair long, and it was great once it was really long (long enough to keep out of his face with a ponytail). But growing it out was really a nightmare. He looked like a doofus for a long time (his hair is wavy and hard to ... (read in full...)
Should I accept his use of pornography whilst we are in this long distance relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is in Australia, I am returning within the month to move in with him. About 5 months ago we discussed pornography, he said that he'd delete anything from his computer...
A. 29 January 2008: Female anon:
By selectively quoting only one side you are giving a very biased view. Your opinion is only that, an opinion, as is mine. And I'm not going to share the bits and pieces of my sex life with you for your voyeuristic tendenci... (read in full...)
I pulled away from a threesome. Should I go back and go with the flow?
Q. Hello, this is kind of a last resort because I know my friends would not understand. I am 15 and I am not eager to lose my virginity. Last night, I was with two friends (girls 14 and 16) in a bed and they both tried to touch me in a sexual way, I ...
A. 28 January 2008: your body your rules! don't go back just to impress your mates. wait until you're ready.... (read in full...)
We have different ideas on how a long distance relationship should work. Please help
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship and have been for the past year, I'v been with my partner for 2 years and just recently things have gotten very weird ... He seems very distant! Doesn't want to visit due too lack of funds, i have no free time to ...
A. 28 January 2008: You have to decide what works for you.
I had a LD relationship for 6 years of a 9-year relationship. We didn't talk even as much as you do -- we wrote and had maybe 1 phone call every few months.
It's hard, I really understand.
A... (read in full...)
I really like this guy, he's a Jehovahs Witness I'm not, will there be any problems?
Q. There is this guy i like at collage, and i have a sneaking suspicion that he likes me too (have been shamelessly flirting with him lol). He is a Johavas Witness and im not. I was wondering about the 'rules' regarding JW's and non JW's dating. As i ...
A. 28 January 2008: When my witness friend married her boyfriend, her parents cut her off. It was crushing to her, but they believed that they were doing the right thing. It went on this way for many years.
Whether your guy would stand up to his family/c... (read in full...)
I don't want the abortion...But they're all pressuring me!
Q. I'm 17 and 8-9 weeks pregnant. I have my first midwife appointment on the 25th February. My boyfriend and parents are basically forcing me into an abortion that I don't want because I KNOW that after it I will be a wreck. Sure abortion is for ...
A. 28 January 2008: Whether to have this child is your choice alone. No one can or should force you to have an abortion.
And as long as you're not depending on anyone else to help you raise this child, then whether to KEEP him/her (or give up for adoption... (read in full...)
Should I accept his use of pornography whilst we are in this long distance relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is in Australia, I am returning within the month to move in with him. About 5 months ago we discussed pornography, he said that he'd delete anything from his computer...
A. 26 January 2008: Female anon. -- I'm sorry porn didn't "spice up your sex life." And of course you know everything about everyone's sex lives, and have the perfect answers for every couple. Because your opinion is what matters here.
Rubbish. Judgemen... (read in full...)
I'm so happy with my married guy...but love my bf and am not sure he would leave his wife.
Q. I have been having a casual sex relationship with someone I work with; he is married and I have a bf. He had been cheated on in the past by his wife, and there are still problems. He just isn't happy with her. He and I started messing around o...
A. 24 January 2008: You don't want him even if he does leave his wife. If he cheats with you he would also cheat on you.
How would you feel if your BF found out about your cheating? This relationship is a time bomb waiting to explode. Your best bet is to tell ... (read in full...)
I want children, but my partner doesn't. He feels he is to old?
Q. Ok, so I been with my boyfriend for about 4 years and we have had are share of problems but we are very deep in love. He is 16 years older than me and he doesnt want anymore kids. He has three kids of his own. I want kids so bad and I wont give that ...
A. 24 January 2008: Miss Anon, you have LOTS of time to find the right man and have children with him. I had my first child at age 37 and my second at 39. I waited until I found a man who shared my joy in the idea of having children, then had them on purpose with ... (read in full...)
He hurt me so badly and he's still being really cruel, what do I do?
Q. My ex and I had been together for three years. We were a perfect fit. For years we were inseperable and I felt like no one in the world understood me like he did. It even went as far as us having our own language. I trusted him, and I have to say I ...
A. 24 January 2008: If I were you I would cut him off. "What you tolerate becomes your standard." What's to say that the way he's treating you isn't the way it's going to continue? You deserve SO much better.
Cold turkey is the easiest way to help your heart ge... (read in full...)
Is there a happy romance after splitting from the only girl I've ever loved?
Q. 20, is there a happy romance after the only girl I've ever loved? Hi. I've dated who I thought was the love of my life since I was 16. She's the only girl I've ever been out with, and the only girl I have wanted to be with. She has broken up wi...
A. 24 January 2008: Oh hon. You'll get over this and move on. It is such a normal part of learning to love. Four years seems like such a huge percentage of your life right now, but I can promise you that there are others out there. Time will help you get over ... (read in full...)
Should I accept his use of pornography whilst we are in this long distance relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is in Australia, I am returning within the month to move in with him. About 5 months ago we discussed pornography, he said that he'd delete anything from his computer...
A. 24 January 2008: I think you should allow the porn. I'll even go further, you should continue to allow the porn when the two of you are geographically together, too.
His porn use has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn't say ANYTHING about whether you satisfy ... (read in full...)
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