A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and I have been together for 2years we had lots of problems in our relationship and he thought i was cheating on him with my ex but i wasn't, i would never do something like that to him I love him to much but he doesn't trust me one bit.I got pregnant for him twice in one year and he guilted me into having an abortion because he is studying to become a doctor. having those abortions was the worst experience i ever had i cried almost every day, i was depressed i lost weight and i lost all my self esteem,and the worst part is he was never there for me instead he treated me badly he would say horrible things to me like, he don't want me, leave him alone, and he would hang up his phone.I'm anemic so after the abortion while having sex with my boyfriend i passed out, he didn't even look at me i was crying my eyes out.I found out i was pregnant again i told my boyfriend and he blamed me for the pregnancy he even got me medication to abort the baby,i never took the medication now i'm still pregnant(3months) i can't go through this again i want my baby, but he refuses to speak to me and he hangs up his phone every time i call he said i lied about taking the pills but he don't seem to understand. just before this i found out he has been cheating on me with his ex girlfriend i found a sex vedio he made of them both on his phone, and naked pictures of her and other girls around the same time of my pregnancy.and he still see her and lies about it all the time what should i do.my parents and family won't accept me being pregnant they would flip out, they will throw me out on the streets because i'm still in college, what should i do??
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Why didnt you learn your lesson the first or even the second time around? I can understand the first pregnany and subsequent abortion, accidents happen. But 2 more?!?!?!?! What is wrong with you? And if he didnt treat you right after the first pregnancy/abortion why did you stay with him for a second and then a THIRD?!?!?! Ever hear of birth control? I am not going to agree with the aunts on here who say 'you poor girl'. You have done this to yourself, and it sounds to me like you did it on purpose in an attempt to entrap this man and/or because you figure if you have a baby you will be 'taken care of'. Wake up, girl! I commend you for not getting a THIRD abortion. Now it is time to look at adoption so that this child can be raised by two RESPOSIBLE ADULTS. You need to concentrate on growing up, getting your education and becoming an independant, strong woman rather than a simpering fool who clings to a man who obviosly doesnt want her and who cannot figure out how to prevent a pregnancy.
A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (8 April 2008):
 The first thing you need to do is leave that poor-excuse for a man. He's really bad news, and you and your baby deserve much better. I know this part will be hard, but it's important to your feelings of self-worth. He is not good for you, and he will be worse for your child.
The second thing you should do is find out what programs your college has. They might have counseling, grants, medical programs, etc., that could help you right now. Start looking into it.
And finally, you might consider looking into adoption. You need to finish school, and you don't have a very good situation. Your baby deserves the very best. There are lots of "open" adoptions where you could continue to visit your child and s/he will always know you. That's the best of both worlds for you right now.
Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 April 2008):
You poor girl. You have been treated awfully by this man. You need to ignore him now and concentrate on yourself.
Your parents may be disappointed in you but I don't think they would throw you out. Sit them down and tell them what happened. Take a friend to make it easier.
You can't deal with this by yourself. You need help. Talk to a doctor and check you are ok - if you are ill then you may need to make sure the baby is safe. He will also be able to tell you about places you can stay if you do need to move away from home.
Find out what help is available to you and get a lawyer to make your boyfriend pay for the baby.
Good Luck!! xx
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