He has never divorced his wife. It makes me uncomfortable and I'm wondering why he hasn't divorced her!
Q. Hi, I have been dating a guy i met in a social group, for around 4 months. After a few dates, he told me he was married but separated, for 7 years. Now had I known this beforehand I would not have dated him as I didn't want the emotional baggag...
A. 7 August 2015: Stop asking questions and stop dating him. No drama, no accusations and no teary eyed good byes. Just gracefully walk away.
He has unfinished business with his ex that won't be sorted out any time soon. Questions and discussions are pointles... (read in full...)
He didn't invite me to the Barbeque and also acted differently.What should I do?
Q. I met a guy at work... We went on a date and hit it off. I was a little worried that his friends at work would put ideas in his head. I expressed how i felt more than once and he told me I was becoming annoying with it. I back off a little bit.. Th...
A. 7 August 2015: Nothing. There is nothing for you to do here.
I suspect you may have come on a bit strong or seemed a bit needy/clingy and he was put off by it.
He's not interested and wants as much space between you as possible, so I say give it to him.
Wr... (read in full...)
My boyfriend calls me names. I want to break up with him, but how?
Q. How do i break up with my boyfriend... he and i have been together since april, we fight constantly hell call me names etc. Well ive finally started putting my foot down and he promises hell change blah blah blah. Well idk if i want to wait and see ...
A. 6 August 2015: No second chances. He should have made better use of the first one. He certainly had long enough. ... (read in full...)
Should I call it a day? I forgave him the affair but now he seems to be hiding things!
Q. I've asked for advice on numerous occasions regarding my partner, now of 10 years and a lot of you told me then to get rid of him as long ago as 5 years but Ihave always thought things would change. However, I then found that he has cheated on me ...
A. 6 August 2015: People here told you it was time to call it a day 5 years ago.
Nothing has changed. What are you waiting for? ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my kinky fantasies that I give in to once a month?
Q. This is something that's embarrassing the heck out of me,and I cannot share it with anyone. Its bizarre. The thing is,every time of the month I get super-horny during my ovulation period (women would know what I'm talking about), I get very kinky...
A. 3 August 2015: There is nothing wrong with you. In fact this is a fairly common and benign fantasy.
Your mind is simply exploring a 'what if' scenario.
If you think this one is weird, your hair would stand on end to know what other ones are out there, some ... (read in full...)
If he has a gf, why he wants me to be his side-chick?
Q. This guy i was dating almost 3 months, told me he got back with his ex but he does not want me to move on. He told me their situation wont last anyway. He also deleted me on facebook to move on. I am trying to forget him and i can not. Why he wants...
A. 3 August 2015: You gave him more than enough attention. So much, in fact, that he expects you to stick around while he pays attention to someone else.
He's not a decent man. You know this, so how you're treated from now on will depend on you and the choices ... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 3 August 2015: I second the previous answers. Just in social forums (not dating ones) being a woman I was inundated by private messages, and like Cindy I sent out the polite 'thank you for your interest but...' messages because I too was raised to be courteous.
... (read in full...)
I gave my boyfriend a handjob. Is there a risk of pregnancy?
Q. I just wanted to know if there is any risk on pregnancy in my situation, I gave my boyfriend a handjob and he had clothing on ( Basketball shorts and underwear) he had his clothing on the entire time this happened, I had a dress on, some clear fluid ...
A. 3 August 2015: Seriously? Is this a recent thing? We got sex ed at age 10.
... (read in full...)
I gave my boyfriend a handjob. Is there a risk of pregnancy?
Q. I just wanted to know if there is any risk on pregnancy in my situation, I gave my boyfriend a handjob and he had clothing on ( Basketball shorts and underwear) he had his clothing on the entire time this happened, I had a dress on, some clear fluid ...
A. 2 August 2015: No risk. You are more likely to join the first flight to Mars then you are to become pregnant from a handjob.
And teachers think they deserve a raise. ... (read in full...)
Do I consider his efforts to reconnect? My ex has been pestering me for a second chance
Q. Me and my ex were together for a year, but putting it realistically as a "long distance relationship" it was about 6 months. It started off amazing, but then of course that phase faded, and as each month went by i was seeing more of his real sel...
A. 1 August 2015: Not that much in such a short period of time, no.
Consider taking him back maybe a year or so from now when he already HAS changed and has at least several months of being this new man under his belt. Assuming, of course, that by then you're s... (read in full...)
If he has a gf, why he wants me to be his side-chick?
Q. This guy i was dating almost 3 months, told me he got back with his ex but he does not want me to move on. He told me their situation wont last anyway. He also deleted me on facebook to move on. I am trying to forget him and i can not. Why he wants...
A. 1 August 2015: Do you have only one pair of shoes? One shirt? One set of house keys?
He wants security and some variety. When things aren't going well with one, he has another to fall back on.
Do yourself a favour and just send the guy packing. He isn'... (read in full...)
I want to end a friendship but she knows too much about me!
Q. I want to get rid of a friend who has lately shown their true colours, however this so called friend knows many personal things about me, and I am afraid of removing her from my life because of this hold she has on me. It is ridiculous becau...
A. 1 August 2015: Instead of suddenly cutting her out, why not gradually distance yourself from her?
Be less and less available but not in a way that she would notice or that would irk her. Be boring when you are together so that she starts to move on herself.... (read in full...)
Three years together and my Gf has asked me to pay ($5000) towards a medical procedure she wants. What would you do if in my situation?
Q. I'm in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for the past 3 years. She's always been independent and has never asked me for anything. For the past couple of months however she has been thinking of getting a surgery that insurance won't help wit...
A. 1 August 2015: Half of a $10,000 procedure is a lot of money to fork out. If you wanted to you could offer her a couple of thousand. Understand though that whatever you give her you will most likely never see again. So don't empty your bank account to do this.
... (read in full...)
Three years together and my Gf has asked me to pay ($5000) towards a medical procedure she wants. What would you do if in my situation?
Q. I'm in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for the past 3 years. She's always been independent and has never asked me for anything. For the past couple of months however she has been thinking of getting a surgery that insurance won't help wit...
A. 27 July 2015: Based on the fact that it's not covered by insurance and the cost of the procedure, I'm guessing it's breast augmentation so I say 'no'.
That's a lot of money to ask someone to pay for something not life threatening.
If you decide to loan h... (read in full...)
Did potential date over react to my question
Q. i joined a dating site a few month ago and have been chatting to a guy for a couple of month. everything is going well and we plan on meeting this week. we have since exchanged phone numbers and have emailed each other a couple of pictures and when ...
A. 27 July 2015: What is a photo with a newspaper going to tell you that a drivers licence wouldn't? The date?
I don't blame him. Your request was a bit weird. That's the sort of thing kidnappers send to family as proof of life.
You should have agreed to meet i... (read in full...)
He wouldn't go public with our relationship so I ended it. Did I make the right decision?
Q. He says his marriage is ended and they have both moved on but he wont go public with our relationship or remove his "married to... [her name]" Facebook status. Did I do the right thing ending it after giving him the ultimatum remove the status and ...
A. 27 July 2015: I'd say so. I mean making any demands about Facebook status is overstepping normally and more than a little ridiculous but if it says he's married to someone else then your request is fair.
Not only does he not ackowledge you before others b... (read in full...)
I should have listened to my mum's warning about this man
Q. I have let my Mum down by my actions the past while. I met a older man at work, he was always helping me and being friendly. The man has a wife so I always thought he seen me as just work-mate. After working there a while I had saved up enough ...
A. 25 July 2015: Look, don't be paying any bloody bills. There was no contract, verbal or otherwise, about any kind of payment. If he wanted a reward he should have made that clear from the beginning. Do NOT even fret about that.
Second, if he says anything... (read in full...)
I don't want to feel guilty about the money I was awarded as compensation
Q. Two years ago I was raped by my best friend's boyfriend, it had a terrible affect on my life, I gave up work because I worked in a shop and I just couldn't face talking to people, I lost my home because I couldn't afford the rent and had to move in ...
A. 25 July 2015: The money is yours so keep it. The man jeopardized your ability to support yourself and these funds are a small step towards restoring that balance. Definitely don't give it back to HIM.
Your aunty meant well but it was a tactless remark. She woul... (read in full...)
I don't feel I owe him an "official" break up. My friend says I left my bf for minor reasons. Did I?
Q. Is it immature to leave a long term boyfriend for minor reasons? My bf has never spent any of his birthdays with me for the almost six years we've been together. It too four years for me to meet his mum and I've never been invited to family ...
A. 25 July 2015: I don't think you're reasons are minor either. There are times I agree that the offending party doesn't deserve the courtesy of an official break up, that the point can be driven home more decisively by silence.
I was going to suggest that you... (read in full...)
I think my ex is on drugs and he wants no contact from me but I care and wish I could help him
Q. (Mod Note: OP is in early 30's) I was with my ex for 3 years. At the beginning of the year I noticed a change in him. He became distant and moody and would snap at me for no reason. After a row one day he broke things off saying he didn't love me ...
A. 24 July 2015: Leave him alone. If he wants your help he'll ask and if he did I would still recommend you leave him alone.
That's a nasty business to get into trouble with so you stay as far from it as you can. You might put anyone known to be connected to you i... (read in full...)
I made a comment about a person and my friend came back on me saying things that really hurt!
Q. I am friends with this girl and we were out together the other day, and I said a remark about a random stranger saying that she is fat, she doesn't need any more chocolate (because she was buying so many bags) and now my friend has had a go at me ...
A. 24 July 2015: Maybe you should reconsider making casual remarks about others. I happen to think your friend had a valid point calling you up on your own behaviour. Honesty works both ways. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to want to perform oral sex on a man after just having sex?
Q. I love my husband. We are married 8 years and he was my first sexual partner. I was always the prudish type! Not by choice but i think by fact of low self esteem and the fact I probably have no confidence. I have only in the last maybe year or so ...
A. 24 July 2015: I feel the same way you do.
Remember that porn is for men and by men so they generally aren't the ones doing the risky or 'yucky' sfuff. It also shows women fellating a man after anal penetration which is a big no-no so it's not exactly a how to... (read in full...)
I feel he's not the man I thought he was. Should I still travel to meet up with him?
Q. So I have been talking to a guy I met on a date site for 3 years now. We live over 2000 miles apart. We always tried to make plans to finally see one another in person but they never came through for one reason or another. He skyped with me once and ...
A. 21 July 2015: He is NOT worth a second chance. He should gave made better use of the first chance, he certainly had long enough.
His excuses are rubbish, like him.
He's not friend material and he's not lover or life partner material. Cut him loose while ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be just Friends to him, after losing my virginity to him?
Q. I lost my virginity at the beginning of last year to a co-worker. And moved out of state back to where I'm from. We kept in contact for 5/6months. Then in August we stopped talking, I actually think it is because of me that we stopped talking ...
A. 19 July 2015: No. You've had a sexual history with him (while he had a girlfriend and three kids) and you still have feelings for him.
Being 'friends' is just false hope for something more. You'd never have what you really wanted and your presence, assuming... (read in full...)
My close male friend's behavior seems like a slap in the face. I don't know what to make of it
Q. I'm a little baffled by the behavior of a close male friend who wants to be more. He otherwise is very engaging and warm but when there is any type of problem that I may be stressed, saddened or angered about and nothing having to do with him, he ...
A. 17 July 2015: He told you himself. He really doesn't know what to do when you're stressed or down. He doesn't sound like a bad man. Just a tad useless at times. The bottom line with this guy is when the chips are down, you really are on your own (where he... (read in full...)
He's acting like a douchebag and I'm so hurt. How do I forget about him?
Q. How do I forget about him, he's horrible to me:(? So there's this my brother's friend who I really liked and we use to talk all the time but all the sudden he stopped ringing me and would always want to argue as if He can't stand me. He says I a...
A. 15 July 2015: When someone describes themselves as a 'caring person' red flags go up for me. 'Mothering' and 'caring' are charitable ways to describe meddlesome, patronizing, overbearing, controlling, manipulative behaviour.
Your brother's friend doesn't ... (read in full...)
Have I messed things up with guy I met online?
Q. Hey guys..... So I met a guy online and I'm totally new to the online dating thing, and not sure If I'm entirely comfortable........ So we went on a couple of dates and things seemed to be going well, he said he liked me and I do really like ...
A. 14 July 2015: I agree. I think you messed this up as well.
At this early stage there should have been no expectations or obligations and it should have been understood that you were both free to talk to and date others. It might have been that he liked you well... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend allowing his parents to control his life?
Q. So...I met this guy online about 7 months ago. We hit it off as soon as we met in person about a month later, and the rest has been history, except for a few insecurities that I am starting to have. He's my age (24..25 this year), and is gr...
A. 14 July 2015: Like the other wise aunts have already said, people mature at their own pace and you'll only cause angst by trying to change that.
Maturity is only part of the issue here. The fact that he has no job set up for when he gets home and no plans fo... (read in full...)
Why is he so commitment phobic? Is he frightened of commitment?
Q. I am a 51 year old women who looks quite young for my age. I work as Air Cabin Crew and also as a college lecturer. I met up with my first love a few days ago after not seeing him for over 12 years. He came to me in a dream and I felt it was a ...
A. 14 July 2015: Maybe he enjoys the freedom to be himself and doesn't want the headache of someone else trying to impose their expectations on him. Not everyone wants to marry and have kids and that is perfectly normal.
Why does everyone who doesn't subscrib... (read in full...)
Can I trust my female friend? I know she is lying to me but I'm unsure of why she is
Q. Can I trust my female friend? A friend who I thought was a friend is seeing a guy I like behind my back. I know it is none of my business - but when I confronted her she played it down and pretended nothing was going on, when all I wanted w...
A. 13 July 2015: Obviously she is lying to you because she doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship but doesn't believe she can be honest without doing just that.
On the one hand you acknowledge this is none of your business while on the other you're intent o... (read in full...)
Was he trying to make me jealous by grinding other women in front of me? Why didn't he respond to my remark?
Q. I was at a party and there was a guy who is interested in me.. maybe love me. I like him but not in the way that he does for me. He hasn't told me directly that he does and I never asked. However he wanted to dance with me and not in a good wa...
A. 13 July 2015: Why are you apologizing to this guy?
You're sorry you didn't engage in something you didn't like just to spare his feelings? Stop apologizing, for Pete's sake. It makes you look weak and foolish. Besides, it's not as if he's crying himself ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?
Q. Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...
A. 13 July 2015: To be honest, I don't think I'd bother with her. If you have to spell out the basics to her then you don't have much in common.
And as Janniepeg points out she seems the huggy type so this will be an ongoing issue. A second date is far too soon... (read in full...)
How do I deal with problems with my mom?
Q. My mother always disagrees with things I say. If she's having an issue with something she'll ask me and then I'll tell her what I think but then we end up arguing about it. She then goes, maybe weeks or days later, to ask my 2 brothers(I'm the only ...
A. 12 July 2015: She asks you first which is not only revealing but it affects how she reacts.
If you're the first person to tell her what she doesn't want to hear then you're going to get the worst reaction. By the time she asks your brothers she's already ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want his friends to find out that he's going out with me. Why? Why does he limit communication?.
Q. At the moment I am feeling really upset because I'm going out with this boy and he won't barely talk to me, he has got a lot closer to his friend but I doubt that's the problem. He told me that he broke up with his ex girlfriend because she was ...
A. 12 July 2015: He's lost interest but doesn't want a scene when he breaks up with you so he's hoping you'll get fed up and go away on your own.
He wants people to see he's single so he can pursue other girls.
The only one who thinks and acts like you're... (read in full...)
How do you approach someone that interests you of the same gender without knowing their sexual orientation?
Q. I am female interested in another female. I initially disliked this person a lot when I first met her. I kept my distance and never spoke to her. She does know who I am so I am no stranger. We have had a few classes together. My feelings have ...
A. 11 July 2015: Instead of taking a huge leap, why not start small by gradually thawing out around her?
You could start with a familiar nod when you see her, or even a brief 'hello'.
No need to rush this.
... (read in full...)
FWB with a married guy who says his wife is a nightmare yet he refuses to leave her. What do I do? Am I just the "other woman"?
Q. Please bare with me on this, it's a little tricky. Okay, I've recently entered a 'friends with benefits' situation with a friend of mine (we use contraception) but before that we did class ourselves as being in a relationship due to the strong em...
A. 11 July 2015: You're the other woman.
We really do come across these scenarios so often it's a nauseating cliché. All these different women of different ages from different locations might as well be the same person because their posts, just like yours, a... (read in full...)
I didn't handle things well with this girl should I even try to contact her again?
Q. About this time last year I started speaking to a girl on an online dating website. We talked pretty freely and I was genuinely starting to like her. We had begun to make preparations to meet for a date, when I got an offer to move abroad for ...
A. 7 July 2015: If you told her what you told us here, I don't see how you handled things badly. In fact I think you were reasonable and honest.
So continue being honest. Like Honeypie says, contact her when you're back and settled and see where it goes.
... (read in full...)
Monogamous person in a polyamorous relationship. Suggestions/thoughts?
Q. Hello everyone. I would like to detail about a predicament that has risen within the past few weeks involving a close friend of mine and a potential relationship occurring with her and would really appreciate any insight regarding this. Let me gi...
A. 7 July 2015: This isn't convoluted or complicated at all.
In order for you to be happy in a partnership you need monogamy/exclusivity and someone local you can see any time. Sounds reasonable to me. Most people want the same.
You've got two deal breakers he... (read in full...)
Should I tell a girl I've never met that her boyfriend is cheating?
Q. Should I tell a girl I've never even met that her boyfriend of one year (living together) has been cheating on her constantly? My boyfriend works with the guy, and he brags/shows photos and shows no remorse. Usually I wouldn't meddle but ...
A. 4 July 2015: I can understand the discomfort of knowing this is happening and not doing anything to stop it, but the truth is you can't stop it no matter what you do.
If the guy is this open about what he does (or might be doing) you can be sure his girlfrie... (read in full...)
How can I talk to my daughter about just expecting me to do everything? She'll blow up!
Q. My adult daughter dumps every thing on me,she expects me to do as she says.I have grandaughter after school but dont want to look after for the holidays as myhusband likes to go out,we dont plan things but go where we want.also she turns up at any ...
A. 2 July 2015: How does she get on with her father? This is your husband, yes, or have you remarried? Has he tried saying anything to her? What happens after she blows up at you? I'm guessing she doesn't speak to you for a while. Does she have siblings? Has sh... (read in full...)
No show, no text what should I do?
Q. I met this guy at work. We started texting recently we even made plans to hang out one night at the Movies. He kind of made it clear were friends but still flirts with me. He canceled the plans for family reasons. He hasn't texted me for a few days. ...
A. 1 July 2015: Nothing. Like Honeypie says, let him go. Don't call him, don't text him and if he contacts you don't mention the cancelled outting or try to schedule another. Maybe be a bit more formal with him and cut out the flirting (or don't respond to it wh... (read in full...)
| *iar's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iar has
added them and they have added *iar!
|
