| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I date this guy with no job and who didn't go to college? I like him!
Q. Hey guys,I've been friends with this dude since early this year.(March to be precise).Well, we exchanged numbers and really hit it off.Lately we've been spending lots of time together and i really like him and he feels the same way too.Thing is he ...
A. 10 October 2012: Cerberus I have no idea what you're on about. I've never mentioned money as an argument. This isn't about money. He can be broke all he wants. The question is that he is unemployed. Not broke. The problem is if a man is not taking care of himself, ... (read in full...)
Should I date this guy with no job and who didn't go to college? I like him!
Q. Hey guys,I've been friends with this dude since early this year.(March to be precise).Well, we exchanged numbers and really hit it off.Lately we've been spending lots of time together and i really like him and he feels the same way too.Thing is he ...
A. 10 October 2012:
It's not about wanting the man to take care of women. But the man needs to be able to take care of himself... Otherwise is is nothing but a boy, and women do not date boys. Women date men.
... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm not interested in sex anymore?
Q. I'm quite young but old enough for sex. At firzt I liked having sex with my boyfriend but since it started hurting I don't like to have sex anymore and haven't for a few months. Is this weird? ...
A. 10 October 2012: It's not weird that you don't enjoy sex when it hurts. However it is weird that it hurts.
Have you gone to your doctor about this? Sex is not supposed to hurt. ... (read in full...)
I felt sad by her choice,Am I being silly leaving her?
Q. I asked my girlfriend does she prefer sex with me or masturbation and she said different. I tried to ask in what way but she couldn't say. That's made me feel quite bad and I've tried to past it tried to get past it but now don't think I want to ...
A. 10 October 2012: Well, if she actually prefers masturbating over sex then that's quite another story. But again, it isn't about how good or bad you are in bed. If she genuinely prefers masturbation over sex that says something about her interest in sex in general. ... (read in full...)
Illegal age difference but I like him! What should I do?
Q. I am in a play and the accompanist is cute. I am however younger than he is and the age difference is 5 years which would be illegal for him since he's 21. I like him and don't know if he is interested single or not. I have had relationships with ...
A. 10 October 2012: It's not illegal to date you and have a relationship with you, it is illegal for you to have sex with anyone at your age. That is what is illegal.
I think you need to talk to him an dget to know him first though, before you make any moves. M... (read in full...)
Should I date this guy with no job and who didn't go to college? I like him!
Q. Hey guys,I've been friends with this dude since early this year.(March to be precise).Well, we exchanged numbers and really hit it off.Lately we've been spending lots of time together and i really like him and he feels the same way too.Thing is he ...
A. 10 October 2012: How does he pay for food? How does he pay for roof over his head?
There are things you should wath out for, and that is how a man treats his nearest family and friends. And how he manages himself in life. If he is taking advantage of his family t... (read in full...)
Abusive past and can't tolerate any porn. How can me and my partner move on?
Q. I have been in an on and off relationship with the father of my youngest son for 7 years. Things have been tumultuous from the beginning, us both being insecure and having other issues, mine being from an extremely abusive upbringing. My step father ...
A. 10 October 2012: Are you sure that getting back with someone who's hurt you in the past is the right choice? Especially as he does things that are generally considered deal breakers?
Having porn might not be a deal breaker for some women, but for some it is. And ... (read in full...)
I felt sad by her choice,Am I being silly leaving her?
Q. I asked my girlfriend does she prefer sex with me or masturbation and she said different. I tried to ask in what way but she couldn't say. That's made me feel quite bad and I've tried to past it tried to get past it but now don't think I want to ...
A. 10 October 2012: "I can't help but think she would take offence if I said I prefered wanking to her."
She didn't say she preferred one over the other. She said it was different. Don't you think wanking and having sex with her is also different? ... (read in full...)
I felt sad by her choice,Am I being silly leaving her?
Q. I asked my girlfriend does she prefer sex with me or masturbation and she said different. I tried to ask in what way but she couldn't say. That's made me feel quite bad and I've tried to past it tried to get past it but now don't think I want to ...
A. 10 October 2012: Ditto what Cindy said.
It is different. Doesn't mean sex isn't great, but it is different. Why would she need to tell you "how" different? Different is different, as you should know yourself. You know what different means.
You're sulkin... (read in full...)
In a relationship. Is this flirting or being friendly, and is it wrong?
Q. Hi there, I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years. I am from australia last night out of nowhere, the singer of one of my favorite bands (an american band who are quite famous and have played shows in australi...
A. 10 October 2012: "also i know his facebook is a real account since my boyfriends band mates are friends with him, vise versa"
If so then this guy should know that you are a taken woman. If you are unsure about what signals you were sending out you can just inf... (read in full...)
Can relationships last and be enjoyable in the platonic stage for an extended period? I just dislike all the emphasis on sex everywhere.
Q. (I'd be most appreciative if somebody could reply ASAP) I've never been the best person to talk about sex, as it upsets me to talk about it. I've been in a relationship for just over 3 months now (not thinking about sex, don't worry) but I'm just...
A. 9 October 2012: " I don't understand why people do it."
Because it is what separates a relationship from a friendship. Sexual attraction. The idea that your partner is attractive to you. You wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who you couldn't stand to... (read in full...)
I do love my boyfriend but how do I know if he really is the one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. I have cheated on him once, I kissed another guy at a party when I was 17 which was 4 years ago. Recently I have been talking to another man who is a friend of a friend. Just talking as friends, ...
A. 9 October 2012: Oh yeah, and this new guy doesn't love you. He only said he might be starting to develop feelings for you, which is a meek and vague statement. It is also a classic player-line. It's just words, and usually are followed up by a sleazy action (as the ... (read in full...)
I do love my boyfriend but how do I know if he really is the one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. I have cheated on him once, I kissed another guy at a party when I was 17 which was 4 years ago. Recently I have been talking to another man who is a friend of a friend. Just talking as friends, ...
A. 9 October 2012: What if this, what if that? Listen, you can't live your life for the "what ifs". You need to live for what is right here and now!
So the question isn't "what if he's the one I could be happy with", the question is THIS: "IS he the one I am happy... (read in full...)
Where do the single women in their 30s hang out? I've not dated for 2years. How do I maximise my chances of success with women?
Q. So, been single for 3 years after a 9-yr LTR. Am now 38. And I have not been on a date in 2 years. I tried online dating for 18 months and got 2 dates out of it. Am a member of many clubs and have many hobbies. Meeting people is not an...
A. 9 October 2012: There's a shortage of women? Now I've heard that too. I didn't think that would happen unless you live out in a rural area. In which case, the men here in Norway travel to the bigger cities to find a woman. Then they marry her and move back home ... (read in full...)
Have the wife and kids, but still dreaming about the chance I never took with my soul mate.
Q. I have been dealing with confusion and pain for about a year and a half now. I am at a point that I need to make a decision to leave my wife or continue to try to be in love with her. I am 35 and have been married for the last 10 years with tw...
A. 9 October 2012: Your fear of being alone is screaming in this post.
Don't you think it is time you tackle your fear and stay ALONE for a while? Your fear keeps putting you in situations you don't want to be in, just because you're so afraid of being alone. Y... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my girlfriend with a girl I'm infatuated with. I want them both!
Q. I have been with my gf for 3 years. We started dating shortly after I ended my only other relationship, which had lasted 9 years, partly so that I could experience being single for the first time in my life. I wasn't looking for a relationship at ...
A. 9 October 2012: "I also love my girlfriend dearly and would never want to hurt her (and yet I've already done this - I acknowledge there is a disconnect there). "
If you don't want to hurt her why aren't you breaking it off and allowing her to find a man who will... (read in full...)
I do love my boyfriend but how do I know if he really is the one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. I have cheated on him once, I kissed another guy at a party when I was 17 which was 4 years ago. Recently I have been talking to another man who is a friend of a friend. Just talking as friends, ...
A. 9 October 2012: "I do love my boyfriend but how do I know if he really is the one?"
I think that if you need to ask this question he isn't the one.
As for this other guy though, he sounds like rotten fruit. A man who wants to "steal" someones girlfriend is a ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he accept me on facebook? He acted like he liked me
Q. Hello, i recently filmed a movie for college with some people and someone brought along one of their friends to play my boyfriend in the scene. We had to take loads of shots of us kissing and stuff and it was all really good. He kept making excuses ...
A. 9 October 2012: I guess he doesn't like you then. How can you like him when he's ignoring you and being a snob? ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty so why don't I get asked out?
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 23 year old girl and I'm single..now here's the thing I don't mean to sound conceited or superficial but the reason I'm telling what I'm going to right now is I just caant figureee why this is happening..so. Please do help me....
A. 9 October 2012: "so if someone likes me they should accept me for who I am,rather than me changing my self"
But, if you're someone who doesn't let people in.. how do you expect to ever get someone close to you? If "who you are" is someone who doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
He's too "nice" for me and it's a turn off.
Q. I have been seeing this really nice guy for the past 4 months. His "niceness" is starting to bother me, in that I find him to be not as masculine as I'd like him to be. He is the type who always has a smile on his face, who is always polite, ...
A. 9 October 2012: My boyfriend is genuinely nice, but that doesn't mean I think he's "less" of a man. He's in school to be a military officer, among other things that I guess you would call "manly". He's not taller than me, he is thin, so not a huge guy. He is also ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty so why don't I get asked out?
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 23 year old girl and I'm single..now here's the thing I don't mean to sound conceited or superficial but the reason I'm telling what I'm going to right now is I just caant figureee why this is happening..so. Please do help me....
A. 9 October 2012: "I'm often scared if I would find someone who like me only for superficial reasons and not for who I am."
One comment on that. Looks might get you attention, but looks never make a man stay. If you don't have the personality to make it worth it... (read in full...)
Are you ever too young to fall in love?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months. I'm almost 16. Am I too young to fall in love?...
A. 9 October 2012: No, not too young. It is quite typical of teenagers to feel and say these things.
However, you should remember that just because it feels right doesn't mean it will last forever. Some day those feelings might disappear. Love is not somethin... (read in full...)
I'm pretty so why don't I get asked out?
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 23 year old girl and I'm single..now here's the thing I don't mean to sound conceited or superficial but the reason I'm telling what I'm going to right now is I just caant figureee why this is happening..so. Please do help me....
A. 8 October 2012: "I don't know why guys don't approach me or asked me out for a date.."
Because guys can't read your mind, you don't have a stamp on your forehead that says single, and being pretty often mean you scare guys away.
You can't get guys to approach... (read in full...)
Are you ever too young to fall in love?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months. I'm almost 16. Am I too young to fall in love?...
A. 8 October 2012: ... Falling in love is a part of being human... No, you're never too young to fall in love, even small children have crushes.
If you're in love you're in love, so I don't really understand the question. Maybe you mean to ask if you are too youn... (read in full...)
Why didn't he accept me on facebook? He acted like he liked me
Q. Hello, i recently filmed a movie for college with some people and someone brought along one of their friends to play my boyfriend in the scene. We had to take loads of shots of us kissing and stuff and it was all really good. He kept making excuses ...
A. 8 October 2012: Maybe you have bad picture on your profle so he can't see who you are?
I honestly don't know, maybe you should ask him why he hasn't accepted you. Maybe he's got a girlfriend who got really angry with him for acting as "boyfriend" in a movie, a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants a break so he can date other girls
Q. Hello, I am in a rather interesting situation. My boyfriend well currently ex boyfriend lives with me. And hes confusing and hurting me emotionally. But lets go back to the beginning 4 1/2 years. We met while I was on a field trip when I was stil...
A. 8 October 2012: Okay, so he's not a complete douchebag. Doesn't change that fact that he says he loves you, yet wants to date other women.
Staying up with you all night... yes that could be a sign he loves you. But then when he wants to date other women it's jus... (read in full...)
My brother is interfering in my relationships with girls, what should I do?
Q. I would like to ask for an advice. I’m having a problem with my brother. He's two years older than me and he’s constantly interfering in my relationships with women. Actually it started already when I first started to date girls, but now this ...
A. 7 October 2012: "She said he does it because he wants me for himself, but that’s ridiculous, we’re brothers after all."
No, it's not ridiculous. Your brother doesn't want you romantically, of course! He's not gay, but you've misunderstood what your ex meant. Y... (read in full...)
Fingering was not pleasant for me!
Q. So I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time, and it wasn't pleasurable at all. It was sore sort of and was like friction. I was wet. But I don't know whether it was his being dry or me being tight. Help! It's really putting me off doing it ...
A. 7 October 2012: Did you tell him? You need to tell him that it was unpleasant. Otherwise it will be just as unpleasant next time as well. But it you tell him, then you and him can figure out what could be done differently, to make it enjoyable.
Yes, his fingers ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things?
Q. Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things? I don't mean expensive jewelery or anything, but we've been going out four months and he's never brought me flowers, or chocolates or anything. He's only ever once or twice paid for dinner. I feel ...
A. 7 October 2012: I think you need to TELL him that you like gifts. How is he supposed to know? It's not like all girls like gifts, nor is it standard relationship-manners to brings random gifts. Gifts are usually given when there's an occasion, not just randomly. If ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants a break so he can date other girls
Q. Hello, I am in a rather interesting situation. My boyfriend well currently ex boyfriend lives with me. And hes confusing and hurting me emotionally. But lets go back to the beginning 4 1/2 years. We met while I was on a field trip when I was stil...
A. 7 October 2012: "He says hes in love with me but he doesn't want to be with me."
Then he's not in love with you. Words against actions, you need to look to his ACTIONS. When he says he loves you, but goes to dates with other women, what does that tell you? His... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 7 October 2012: " sex is when I want to make love and masturbation is when I want to feel good. Am I wrong?"
Somewhat right. Can't speak for all women, and we aren't machines, sometimes there are different reasons behind an action. But I guess you could say so. ... (read in full...)
How should we divide up living costs in our relationship? Is what I am doing so far, for her, fair?
Q. I'm writing to see what you guys think of me and my partner's financial situation. My partner's house is paid for, with no debt. She works 2 days a week, on a lowish wage. I'm self-employed, so my income is varying, but works out about £40k a y...
A. 6 October 2012: It sounds okay I guess, as long as you're not eating her out of the house. Going on vacation might not be within her budget from the start, so I don't know if you can say "I pay for vacations, you pay for food", if she to begin with doesn't have ... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 6 October 2012: Then I suggest you improve your skills at oral sex. If you want to give "better" orgasms. But really.. like I said before, it is two different things.
Don't you ever touch yourself and get an orgasm on your own? You talk as if you aren't aware of... (read in full...)
I am so in love with her. But my friend's actions with her, prior to us being a couple, make me feel bad. How do I learn from this? Stay? Or breakup?
Q. I'm in my first relationship with a girl i am madly in love with and have been dating her for nearly a year. she was the first and only person i've kissed or done anything with physically and are relationship is really really good and we have been...
A. 6 October 2012: Well, your friend doesn't sound like the greatest friend in the world. If he knew you were interested in this girl, then why did he snatch her up right in front of you? And then only to brag about it later on, which again is a really tacky thing to ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: Btw, the main reason condoms aren't 100% safe is because people tend to use them the wrong way. Some don't hold on to it when they pull out, some put it on wrong, some scratch the condom with their nails etc. Many open the condom packet with their ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: I think it's like playing Russian roulette. I think the one people who should be having unprotected sex are those who are okay with an unplanned pregnancy. For example, if you are in a steady relationship/are married, and want children, but aren't ... (read in full...)
How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?
Q. I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel: Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle wi...
A. 5 October 2012: You're not crazy, but this is a very general statement based on little scientific study.
So you had a few bad sexual encounters, and some good ones. Well, "intact" men can be bad in the sack too you know. I've only had one circumsized man. I d... (read in full...)
Why do I ask questions knowing I will get hurt? Especially as she didn't cheat on me, it's all about before we met..
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for one year. She is 28 years old and she had an affair with a married man when she was still married few years back. Her then husband was a womanizer and that's when she got involved with this sweet talking ...
A. 5 October 2012: I'm wondering if maybe this can't have something to do with your own moral standpoint? That perhaps it's not jealousy, but resentment? You disapprove of her cheating, and hence this action bothers you?
I know it would bother me a lot, so much in ... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants us to watch "barely legal" porn while having sex. He says we can learn something from it. Does this sound right to you?
Q. My fiance told me that we may "learn something" from watching porn together in bed before and during sex. The porn he has always watches though is Barely Legal porn tapes of very young women and men just out of high school. To me that is not "lea...
A. 5 October 2012: Normal or normal.. well, who knows. There's not exactly any statistics up about how many men world wide ask this.
But I've never had a boyfriend ask me this. Sure, I've watched porn with my boyfriends, but that's always been my idea, and I never ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old lesbian and I'm a virgin. But what if I don't find that "special someone" I've been waiting for? Should I have sex with my guy friend ?
Q. I consider myself to be a lesbian, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I am still a virgin, and I was planning on saving my virginity until I am in a relationship with someone who I feel I am ready to give my virginity too. The thing is, I'm ...
A. 5 October 2012: If you're a lesbian why would you want a man to have sex with you? I don't understand that part. It's one thing to have sex with a friend, but at least then you do it with the gender you are sexually attracted to!
I've had lovers, FWB, call the... (read in full...)
Am I stuck? Still in love with him, but not happy with him. What to do about my long term Bf ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been with each other since I was 16 and he was 17. We are now 20 and 21. Our whole relationship has been long distance. We've been flying back and forth to make things work. Since he has a fulltime job I hvae done most o...
A. 5 October 2012: "did it because he wanted to feel wanted"
So what he's saying is you aren't enough for him, you don't make him feel wanted. Ergo, since you haven't been enough for him so far, you wont ever be, which in return means he'll continue to want to feel ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's outgoing personality is causing some trust issues with me. How can I deal with this, or should I even deal with this?
Q. Hi there, I am in a big mess and I need some good advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for around 7 months now. He has a very friendly nature and is able to have conversations with almost anyone and everyone. He makes friends with fem...
A. 4 October 2012: It sounds like you never trusted him to begin with. He used to let you check his phone? A girlfriend doesn't get access to a boyfriends phone... That's an invasion of privacy. You shouldn't have ever done that, especially if you had trust in him and ... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 2 October 2012: Isn't this exactly the same as asking which do guys prefer, masturbation or sex?
They're two different things, for different occasions. The one isn't better than the other, each thing is good in it's own way. It's like asking what is better, ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
