| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: PS. the girl who got pregnant at 18 is now 22 years old.... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: I think if she wants to have a kid now she should just go and do it. Some women have dreams of becoming mothers and not have career, they want the man to be the breadwinner and work at a low paid job for ages, until the children are old enough for ... (read in full...)
One minute she is avoiding me, the next it seems like she still cares....what is going on with her? Is this behaviour because her father passed away? Or has she simply moved on?
Q. I'm sure this question has been asked before, but I think everyone/every situation is different, so I'd like to ask it again. Last June, this girl (24) became very interested in me and, a month later, we were together. Not too many 1-on-1 dates at...
A. 4 January 2012: I don't think this is about her dad. People can pass away, but that doesn't mean we all leave our boyfriends/girlfriends. Some of us need more space and time apart, but this girl sounds like she didn't know what she wanted from the very onset of ... (read in full...)
I cooked a special dinner for my boyfriend but he spent the entire time on the phone with another girl! Am I right to be mad about this?
Q. My boyfriend of one year is from another country and talks from time to time about foods he misses that aren't common here. Thinking I would surprise him, I went out of my way to make a dish he had been reminiscing about. Since I'd never tasted it ...
A. 4 January 2012: It is disrespectful to be texting and calling while you are eating dinner with someone. Period. I had a boyfriend who used to text while we were out on dates and it was disrespectful, hurtful, and bothersome. I can't believe I even had to tell him, ... (read in full...)
1st time about anal sex and I'm worried about it being messy!
Q. hello all, i am going to be embarking into the world of anal sex starting in a few days and i'm really excited, but also worried! to be blunt i am worried about poo and that i will poo myself! i am also worried about the hygiene of it and any do...
A. 4 January 2012: He should wear a condom. Be prepared for the fact that there might be poo. You shouldn't come to a point where you will poo yourself, not if he goes at it slow and you enjoy what is happening. But it will feel like you'll want to poo, because ... (read in full...)
Are we ready for a threesome?
Q. Hi! Want to know if you think we are ready for a threesome. We have been married for 6 years and have children. We both come from a conservative Middle Eastern background, we are not fully liberal but both are relatively open minded. W...
A. 4 January 2012: No you are not ready for a threesome.
One: you had to ask strangers if we think you are. If you are ready you should know you are ready without asking.
Two: you are the only one who wants this. A threesome implies THREE people WANTING to have sex... (read in full...)
Bizzare excuses: am I just being paranoid or is he right that I have trust issues?
Q. How does a guy who has been sketchy react when you suddenly start being sketchy back? I have never played hard to get and may make it too easy when I like a guy. If we are dating and he wants to see me - I say yes at the drop of a dime. I don't li...
A. 4 January 2012: People who need to hide something and know they act shady will be quick to deny it and blame it on you instead, saying you have trust issues. It's a well-used strategy of someone who is guilty.. they flip the blame around. If you can't trust him ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I am single when we are not together? When we are with each it's brilliant but where do these feelings come from?
Q. Hi, I have been dating a guy for about 5months, we had the talk (I initiated) and now been together officially for a further 2 and a half months. It's been a slow progression getting to know eachother. Which I have liked. He took me away for ...
A. 4 January 2012: If he after all this time hasn't made any improvement as far as opening up to you etc, then no, he wont get better at it and things wont change in the future either. Sometimes you have to take things at eye value. ... (read in full...)
Do you have ideas what my options are here or are we best off apart?
Q. Hi i need advice! So i have been going out with this boy for 3 months, we have loads of arguments over stupid little things. So we've just had another arguement ill explain what happend in a second, but i cant keep having all these arguments with h...
A. 4 January 2012: Well, you are right, there can't be two different set of rules, one that counts for him and another for you. But, in a healthy relationship there isn't RULES to begin with. There should be no rules. He doesn't get to tell you who you talk to or not. ... (read in full...)
Do you have ideas what my options are here or are we best off apart?
Q. Hi i need advice! So i have been going out with this boy for 3 months, we have loads of arguments over stupid little things. So we've just had another arguement ill explain what happend in a second, but i cant keep having all these arguments with h...
A. 4 January 2012: You need someone who is more relaxed and chilled out about how you communicate with people, or you need to stop this way of communication. There are some things that are acceptable in a relationship and other things that are not. The basic idea ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?
Q. so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...
A. 3 January 2012: I don't think the clothing size matters too much in this though, maybe she's really short and looks square for all we know, or maybe she's tall and slender and the OP and her are both messed up about what is healthy looking and what isn't. Her size, ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 3 January 2012: Well it's your life. I know that people have different ideas about what is most important to them. People got to do what they think is best for them, in the end. But like I said, if you haven't gotten pregnant after a year of trying that is when you ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?
Q. so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...
A. 3 January 2012: The converter I used said a UK size 12 was a US size 10.
... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I am single when we are not together? When we are with each it's brilliant but where do these feelings come from?
Q. Hi, I have been dating a guy for about 5months, we had the talk (I initiated) and now been together officially for a further 2 and a half months. It's been a slow progression getting to know eachother. Which I have liked. He took me away for ...
A. 3 January 2012: Maybe you are both too independent, if you feel like you can walk away and not be bothered I'd dare say you aren't really that attached to each other. Attachment and having some needs in a relationship doesn't equal clinginess. There's a healthy ... (read in full...)
If I'm more attracted to girls but still like guys, am I bi?
Q. I have always been attracted to, fancied and gone out with boys but i find some girls attractive and it is getting more frequent that i am finding girls attractive. Also if i see a girl and a guy naked i prefer the look of the girl. Am i Bi? ...
A. 3 January 2012: No. If you fall in love with both genders then you are bisexual. Just preferring the look of a woman over a man doesn't say anything really. Most consider women to be naturally more attractive naked than men anyway, plenty of heterosexuals feel that ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 3 January 2012: Getting pregnant can take it's time. It's actually difficult to get pregnant, you need to be ovulating and of course your natural level of fertility plays in. Usually I think they say if you've been trying for a year and not gotten pregnant you can ... (read in full...)
My stomach makes noises in class, how do I stop feeling awkward?
Q. When I'm in a quiet classroom I tend to think and worry about my stomach making funny noises around other people. It makes loud noises that people think are funny because it sounds like I'm passing gas or have to use the bathroom. I'm the cause of ...
A. 3 January 2012: Start eating yohurts and prunes. They help against stomach issues and prevents the build up of gas and upset stomachs. Which will aid you in times when you get nervous.
Next, you are putting way too much importance to yourself. People don't ca... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?
Q. so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...
A. 2 January 2012: Actually, I haven't read what everyone else said, just your follow up. I think maybe you have been told it's bad? Hehe, well I don't think so. You're still at the early ages of getting to know her, and at this stage I don't see anything wrong with ... (read in full...)
In a relationship with man, but this needs to end! Please help because he refuses!
Q. I’m in a huge dilemma. I am in a relationship with a man I’m not supposed to. I want to end this. First off, let me say that throughout my whole life, I have been very insecure and I lacked a huge amount of confidence. I was very vulnerable to any m...
A. 2 January 2012: So he is using you sexually against your will, he holds you basically hostage in his house... It might have started out nice and he helped you out, but now it's more like you walked out of the ashes and into the fire. He doesn't care for you, if... (read in full...)
A horrible work performance review ruined my holidays!
Q. I'm 26, recently out of grad school and I've got my first job. I perform every work task I get quickly and efficiently and I though I was doing great. I actually thought I was exceeding my boss' expectations! So when he said he was very unhappy with ...
A. 2 January 2012: Clean desks and cabinets? ... (read in full...)
We've been friends for years, should we not try to date again?
Q. ok so I started dating this guy about 2 weeks ago. But he's not just any guy .. he has been one of my closest friends for like 8 years... I've known the guy since we were in junior high and we've actually tried dating in the past but it has never ...
A. 2 January 2012: I think it is normal to want more, definitely. Just because you've been friends for years and have dated a few times before doesn't mean you should skip the dating part and skip falling in love. You want more. Tell him that. But be prepared for him ... (read in full...)
How can she say she loves me when she treats me like I am nothing?
Q. She clamins to love me..but yet she has no time for me. We are still early on in the relationship.. 3 months.. shouldnt we still be all over each other? For the past month its just been me barely getting by.. ive lost my cool once or twice because ...
A. 2 January 2012: Good for you! Dont let anyone treat you poorly when you know you deserve better! This is a great way to start the new year if you ask me, by standing up for yourself and setting a higher standard for how your life shall be and who you want included ... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to get a girfriend
Q. hi everyone im a 27 year old male. all my friends are now either getting married or with long term partners. and ive been single all my life. i have a good job with very good money, play rugby to a very high standard and am a very nice and popular ...
A. 2 January 2012: Oh, and stand out. You need to make yourself visible in the crowd somehow. It doesn't work to just stand in a corner and look fabulous, not even for girls. You need to open up your mouth and get attention that way. And smile.
My best ways to ... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to get a girfriend
Q. hi everyone im a 27 year old male. all my friends are now either getting married or with long term partners. and ive been single all my life. i have a good job with very good money, play rugby to a very high standard and am a very nice and popular ...
A. 2 January 2012: Good ideas. You said you don't look great and can't do anything about it, but working out and shaping up IS doing something about it. So is dressing smart and stylish and fixing your hair, brushing your teeth so they don't rot and avoiding smoking ... (read in full...)
Why do I always repeat the same mistake of ignoring the better guy?
Q. Why is it that the guys I meet on night out, I always repeat the mistake of ignoring the one who is the better option!! I keep doing this, I don't realize it till the next day that I've done this. Two nights ago, I met this tall very good lookin...
A. 1 January 2012: Better guy? Better for what? As a boyfriend? You don't know that, the good on paper guy could be a huge jackass. You don't know him. Better as a one night stand? Who cares about that, if you want to get laid you don't need someone who is good on ... (read in full...)
How can she say she loves me when she treats me like I am nothing?
Q. She clamins to love me..but yet she has no time for me. We are still early on in the relationship.. 3 months.. shouldnt we still be all over each other? For the past month its just been me barely getting by.. ive lost my cool once or twice because ...
A. 1 January 2012: I don't know what her deal is, but it's nothing good. I think you should leave her, because this is no way to treat someone you love. She might say the words, but her actions tells a whole different story. 3 months in you are right, you should be ... (read in full...)
Why do guys grab a girl's waist?
Q. What does it mean when a guy keeps grabbing your waist? Like they will sit there and squeeze your waist? I know it sounds weird, but this guy kept doing it and I couldn't understand why or what he was doing it for, this isn't the first, time quite a ...
A. 1 January 2012: "Mine". Thats what it means. ... (read in full...)
Even though we took all necessary precautions, I'm not feeling well, could I be pregnant?
Q. I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend (21st Dec) ... it was an a amazing experience as we had waited for ages to show our love and commitment to each other. We of course took the necessary precautions before we made love to each other, w...
A. 1 January 2012: It's not pregnancy. I don't know exactly what is causing the diarrhea, other than a stomach bug or something you ate. The period pains could be natural or induced by the pill.
None of that is pregnancy symptoms, not that you'd experience symptoms... (read in full...)
Can someone explain why people talk so positively? I think it inappropriate and don't believe it.
Q. Why are people always telling me ,that things are going to be all right, when it is not really posible in. my case. I feel deaf ears are listening my story. And they think, I m guilty. if I don t want to believe positive ideas. False hope is not ...
A. 1 January 2012: Same reason people in your culture are nice to those they can't stand, ask about their day when they truly don't give a shit about their day. They are just trying to be polite, or fake-nice. It IS stupid, and not all people do it. But if it comes ... (read in full...)
I stood by this girl when no one else would but as soon as things were fine she dropped me!
Q. Dear Cupid, Recently, a new girl moved to my school and has felt very homesick and has been kind of bullied by some of the people in our class. I was the only person who stuck with her through all of this, the only person who made her feel better ...
A. 1 January 2012: People aren't always grateful, or know how to value the great things in their lives. You'd be surprised to know how many people easily throw away good solid friends for nothing at all, especially in your age group. With the years you learn to ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 1 January 2012: As irony of life will have it you'll meet someone right after you've just had sex, so she wont want you. That tends to be how these things work out when you think like you do. You got to take life as it comes, and if you've decided to wait then ... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 31 December 2011: No, don't text at midnight. You're coming on too strongly, and he'll back off. Let him wait a bit, don't let him believe he is on your mind 24/7.... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 31 December 2011: I dont think a virgin who dates a person who has had any number of sex partners looks like an idiot.. And I think you are the only one who would think that. ... (read in full...)
A horrible work performance review ruined my holidays!
Q. I'm 26, recently out of grad school and I've got my first job. I perform every work task I get quickly and efficiently and I though I was doing great. I actually thought I was exceeding my boss' expectations! So when he said he was very unhappy with ...
A. 31 December 2011: When at work you are still paid for the hours you work. You aren't paid for the tasks you do, if you were you should be able to go home once the tasks are done. You are paid to work a set amount of hours. If there is nothing to do, sure, sneak away ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being thoughtless by refusing to change his facebook status?
Q. Hi, I was having some issues with my bf because of his ex and his friendship and working with her. Anyway he swore to me that although he did really like her, they didn't really have a great relationship, that they didn't have a connection l...
A. 31 December 2011: I know that feeling! You feel this way because of things he did and lies he told at the very beginning of the relationship. At the beginning is where the trust is being build, and the foundations are set for the relationship. To have a crack in the ... (read in full...)
Swore I wouldn't fall for someone since I'm leaving for the military, but it happened anyway! What should I do?
Q. Hi - I am leaving for the military in just under 4 months. I am older (mid 20's) and have been working for this for years and am dead set on going. About eight months ago, I made the decision then and there not to date. I wasn't in a relationship, ...
A. 30 December 2011: You've discovered that you can't control feelings...
How long are you going to be away for? I suggest you tell her that you and her can keep in touch while you are away and see what happens. If you fall for each other further, even through ... (read in full...)
Do all women taste the same?
Q. Hey everyone :) Im abit confused...me and my boyfriend got on the subject last night about givin each other oral. He said that a i tasted amazing :) which is good for both of us because we do enjoy it alot. But my question is... Do all woman tast...
A. 30 December 2011: Different smell and taste. Same with guys. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you love someone?
Q. How do you know if you love someone?...
A. 30 December 2011: Ideally what SoVeryConfused said. Love in is essence is pure like that. However we rarely feel only one feeling at a time. We can love a person and still be mad at them, or upset with them, hurt by them, or feel jealous. We might also end up hurting ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change the taste of my "downstairs" to a little more sweeter?
Q. Hi everyone ! My question is : Is it possible to change the taste of my "downstairs" to a little more sweeter? Dont get me wrong , I dont have a horrible smell or taste , It's just that it is slightly more salty than Sweet. ...
A. 30 December 2011: Drink enough water during the day (2 liters) and rinse with pure water before you go to bed/before any activity of a sexual nature. Often the salt is sweat that has been built up during the day, especially if you were tight pants or underwear that ... (read in full...)
After 2 years I don't know if I can believe anything that my boyfriend says!
Q. Whwn my boyfriend and I started dating 2 years ago it was wonderful and we got along so well, but as time has passed it seems that he has either deliberately misled me or he's doing it without realising how it could be interpreted as misleading. He ...
A. 30 December 2011: You can't trust this man. He sounds exactly like my lying ex. My ex would also tell me how popular he was, how many friends he's got, how much people love him. We were long distance so he could pretty much tell me anything he wanted. Then I went to ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being thoughtless by refusing to change his facebook status?
Q. Hi, I was having some issues with my bf because of his ex and his friendship and working with her. Anyway he swore to me that although he did really like her, they didn't really have a great relationship, that they didn't have a connection l...
A. 30 December 2011: I remember your post from earlier, about the perfume. Seems like this keeps adding up, little things here and there. But like I also remember saying, these things aren't really "proof" of anything, other than perhaps him not being sensitive to your ... (read in full...)
What exactly goes through a women's head when they allow me to keep treating them like trash?
Q. I am in awe at the way women let me treat them and I just don't get it. Ill see a girl I like and treat her like complete garabage but she still chases after me so I continue to do it because it works every time but I've had enough, I just don'...
A. 30 December 2011: I dunno.. people wanting what they can't have and enjoying the challenge? Look at yourself and your friend for example, the women treat him like shit and he lets them as well... This is a thing that goes for both genders, some people are trash and ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being thoughtless by refusing to change his facebook status?
Q. Hi, I was having some issues with my bf because of his ex and his friendship and working with her. Anyway he swore to me that although he did really like her, they didn't really have a great relationship, that they didn't have a connection l...
A. 29 December 2011: I think if he has feelings for her he'd not show it by having his status set as married to her... I mean what message does that send out? Not much. He is right, facebook IS stupid, and it's just a status update... It wasn't serious, and most guys ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 29 December 2011: PS. as for "relationship baggage" I ask you again to define what exactly this is. People with real "baggage", and by this I mean complications, often get them from troubled childhood or family, sexual assaults or accidents or illnesses. Not from ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 29 December 2011: Aresu, we would have been doing something else with the wasted time? Waiting or searching for someone special to have in our lives isn't exactly like putting in hard work and time somewhere that could have been used elsewhere... is it?
Yes, ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 28 December 2011: I don't understand. You are very focused on yourself and not looking at the big picture. There's no "fair" or "unfair" about things in life, you get what you get and work with what you've got. Some get lucky, others don't, but you can't be sukling ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 28 December 2011: Sadly?... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 27 December 2011: Oh please, you're living in fantasy land. Who ever met their "one true love" or whatever you want to call it while they were teenagers? Extremely few that is. Most meet as they grow older... What, if I was to follow your logic I might as well not ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 25 December 2011: Number of sexual partners and STD's are not linked. The conenction is never between how many partners you've had, the connection is between STD's and whether or not you've used a condom and practiced safe sex. A virgin, or a person just performing ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 22 December 2011: Well, difference in opinion then. I don't see a person as "used up" at any stage. We're not cans of peas you know... people are people, not objects.
I think you would benefit from digging into this and think about why you feel a person is used ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 21 December 2011: If you can't fight 'em, join 'em? Is that your strategy? You couldn't find someone who is also a virgin, so you need to go to a "used up" woman and get used up yourself?
By the way, even if you did find a virgin to have sex with wouldn't that mea... (read in full...)
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