| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My sister wants us to have group sex
Q. Has anyone had sex in the same room as another couple, and if so why? My sister wants me to do this in her room while she makes love to her boyfriend on a separate bed. She won't say why she wants it like that....
A. 20 November 2010: This just sounds seriously weird and incestuous to me. I don't think you should have any part in it. Your sister sounds a bit unstable to be honest.... (read in full...)
Her mouth says one thing her actions another
Q. Its been a little over a week since we broke up. She felt like she was "tying herself down too early" and wanted to live college life, go party, flirt with guys, have fun, etc instead of committing to someone so soon. As loving as I always was to ...
A. 20 November 2010: She doesn't regret it. It's a trick!!! Look, here are two people like you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-says-im-the-one-for-him-yet.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-ex-mentally-ill-and-dangerous.html
Both are being ... (read in full...)
I am hooked on a married woman
Q. Well, there is this married women I am very attracted to. Her husband is friend of mine and they have been married for about 5 years now and have 2 kids. Well, for the last year or so we have been talking a lot every chance I get and I think she is ...
A. 20 November 2010: In the case of nearly all affairs, they're born because there is something missing in the marriage, and never because someone loves them. You said it yourself, that their marriage is on the rocks, and that he cheated once. So she's either out for ... (read in full...)
I had to be with family on our 1 year anniversary and girlfriend is mad
Q. Hello everyone. Thanks for checking out my question. I really appreciate it. Well firstly, my girlfriend is mad and disappointed at me. And I know it's my fault. So here's the situation. Couple of days ago, it was our 1 year anniversary. I made...
A. 20 November 2010: Personally I'd write her a one line letter - "You're dumped, you insane woman!"
This is what you need to do -
Dump her, over the phone.
That's what you need to do.
Seriously, I'm worried about the way young men and women are growing up now. ... (read in full...)
Are they being bad parents?
Q. I have a friend who is 23 and lives in south USA. She is married and has two kids; a girl who is almost 2 and a bog who is 1. She is a stay at home mum and her ex druggie husband works full time in mcdonalds. However she often sends the kids ove...
A. 19 November 2010: Most of these illnesses can be put down to lack of nutrients. Even such things as colds and flu are better fought when a child's body has proper nutrients in. If they're getting that ill/dehydrated, it's probably down to a bad diet. And as we all ... (read in full...)
She gets mad at me when I tell the truth so I have to lie just for us to stay together!
Q. i really need help! recently me and my gf had a fight and she said i cheated on her when i never did. she believes all the lies she says to herself i had a female friend whom i'd talk to quite often but feelings were only mutual. my gf told me if i ...
A. 19 November 2010: Just dump her, man. She's the problem. Not you. You can't just 'make' someone feel when they're past it. ... (read in full...)
Are they being bad parents?
Q. I have a friend who is 23 and lives in south USA. She is married and has two kids; a girl who is almost 2 and a bog who is 1. She is a stay at home mum and her ex druggie husband works full time in mcdonalds. However she often sends the kids ove...
A. 19 November 2010: I would say that there is something significantly wrong, to the point where both parents need to be reported for child abuse. No children should be getting sick that often, and her husband sounds like a shocking father to be honest.... (read in full...)
He says I'm the one for him yet he's with someone else and he doesn't answer my texts
Q. my boyfriend of an off and on again relationship of two and a half years, have recently reconnected, even though i moved 2500 miles away from him on our last separation. its just been two months and the last month we've made that connection back ...
A. 19 November 2010: I think you need to stop looking at this guy as a boyfriend, and instead look at him for what he is.
When a guy is with someone else, and he tells that other woman he loves her, and then turns around and tells you he never meant that and in fact... (read in full...)
Does his girlfriend of 5 years deserve to know the truth about her "perfect man"?
Q. Does his girlfriend of 5 years deserve to know the truth about her "perfect man"? I starting seeing this guy who I really feel for only I always got the impression he wasn't all he seemed, anyway after a long time I found out that he had a girlfri...
A. 19 November 2010: You don't say anything. What do you think she will say to you? She will say you're a liar. And no doubt he will just say that you're some obsessed girl who made all this up. And she will probably believe it. You will be the one blamed for all this ... (read in full...)
How do you tell someone willing to get help that its too late?
Q. Like all couples when my husband and I first got together we had sex all the time. He expected it everynight we were together. If I happen to start to fall asleep during a movie he would wakeme up to make sure he got sex before I fell asleep. If ...
A. 19 November 2010: If it's too late then the time has come to leave. And that's what you do. You tell him it's too little, too late and that you want a divorce. If you stay, then he will expect you to start working things out. And if you stay, then you should be ... (read in full...)
He loves who I am, but hates who I was!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. In the begining he was amazing. Super nice, caring everything i wanted. But lately we have been fighting over random things due to the stress of school. At some point I guess the fighting has gotten to ...
A. 19 November 2010: Who you were, and who you are now are the same person. He can't hate your past. Your past is the reason you're who you are.
Oh, and bad news. There is no way he will get over this. It's called retroactive jealousy, and remains the biggest wast... (read in full...)
We have totally different views on lying, who is right?
Q. How do I deal with this??? Me and my girlfriend are in mad love, and could probably make it if there weren't these issues. One is that we both have very different views on lying. I view lying as not very glamorous but a part of life, it...
A. 19 November 2010: To be honest, sometimes we have to lie. Your girlfriend sees it as a cardinal sin, yet even in most religions, it doesn't make the commandments. There are some things you can't lie about. There are some things you may have to lie about here and ... (read in full...)
He wants a second chance after cheating on me but all he talks about is sex, is he just using me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had a little problem, he went really weird with me and he didnt speak to me for a while, i'd never usually speak first but i started making more of an effort with him and he then began ignoring me, i then caught him cheating and ...
A. 19 November 2010: Having been a teenage boy, I can tell you that we can be cruel and pretty closed minded when we want, or even when we don't want. Even the best teenage boy screws up with girls. And your ex screwed up royal. He cheated on you, and then thinks that ... (read in full...)
Is my ex mentally ill and dangerous?
Q. why does my ex bf breakup, forget me for long time then out of the blue appear when i get a new bf and then disappears out of the blue when i forget about my new bf for him???? This happened 4 times. I know its part my fault but why does he keep ...
A. 19 November 2010: He does it to spite you. He doesn't want you in his life. But he doesn't want you to move on. And the worst thing here is that 4 times you've probably been with better guys and fallen for his BS. He can control what he does. In fact, he does control ... (read in full...)
Should I text him, should I call him? I don't want to give up on us!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two months. That's not a long time at all, but we got along really well and everything was going great. It was like puppy love. He tells me he loves me and he wants to marry me, and I know he can't actually mean it ...
A. 19 November 2010: The problem in not giving up, is that you're not seeing that this is an ineffective relationship that won't work out. It was doomed from the start when you both kissed other people, and he said it was 'okay' at a time when you were supposed to be ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't care about me anymore, then why does he still look at my stuff?
Q. I know I asked this before, but I didn't get enough responses to get my final decision :l Hello, I got out of a relationship 4 months ago. Basically, I was dumped, and lets say my ex and I have been through a lot. We used to be attached like tw...
A. 19 November 2010: I'd say that you're maybe reading too much into his actions. You've looked at this one thing, which is him looking at your stuff, but you're kind of ignoring the fact he dumped you, blocked you, had a huge go at you and his own friends and not ... (read in full...)
Need advice on the ex.....
Q. I am dating for over a year now a man who is still married but seperated from his ex for over a year. They have two children and she has not allowed him to see them for over a year until recently. She now texts and calls him (my boyfriend) and he ...
A. 19 November 2010: To be honest, this says a lot about your boyfriend. At no point has he gone to court and got his rights to see his children, he's doing a lot of secret texting, he plays her games and he seems to do a lot more for her than you.
This is a good reas... (read in full...)
What does "temporary break up" mean?
Q. So I need serious help, because I don't get this at all and maybe someone or ANYONE can help me explain what it means. My girlfriend told me last night lets go on a "temporary break up". What does that mean? Is there even such a thing as "temp...
A. 19 November 2010: I'd like to know too. This is the sort of thing that I'd never trust. Temporary break up means she wants to break up, then come back. Which means that there is a very specific reason she wants to break up and come back, which means that there could ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not have a girlfriend at the age of 16?
Q. I am 16 years old and I don't have a girlfriend, yet. I've never had girlfriend before in my entire life. People (primarily my peers) have told me that not having a girlfriend at my age is sad and pathetic. I remember one guy on my football would ...
A. 19 November 2010: I'm not sure what weirdos you have as friends and family, but there certainly isn't anything wrong with you. You seem to be the only sane person where you live. You'be got two parents always putting you down for some reason that's beyond me, and a ... (read in full...)
He has asked me to be his girlfriend but the only thing holding me back is his height!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for three weeks, we have kissed and i really like him but he is about 2 1/2 inches shorter than me. in public i tend to go a little apart from him just so it wont seem awkward, when in reality all i want is to hold his ...
A. 19 November 2010: If you're worried about his height, then he's not really the right guy for you. You need to be able to accept a guy for who he is, not who you want him to be. If you're looking for a taller guy, then explain to this guy that you don't feel the same ... (read in full...)
Being a great lover
Q. hi,Agony Aunt and everyone.I would love to know if there was just onething you could tell the world about being a great lover,what would that be? ...
A. 19 November 2010: Listen to her carefully. Pretty much all there is to it. ... (read in full...)
Sincere guys--how do you tell if he is one?
Q. I don't know how to interpret this guy. I've recently gone through some not so fun dating thing that only lasted a few months and was hurt by the situation. I was keen on not dating anyone for a while, just to make sure I didn't go into the next...
A. 19 November 2010: One word: Time.
I think a lot of women try to psychoanalyse men nowadays, but for some reason none look in the right place. Those three things could be a sign that he's a very nice guy. At the same time, they might be a cover (to be fair, it soun... (read in full...)
Girlfriend constantly wants me to chose her over my family!
Q. My girlfriend continually demands that I choose her over my family, and refuses to compromise about the issue. She comes from a broken family, and has picked fights with my mom, sister, and brother over menial issues. She demands that I take her ...
A. 18 November 2010: You can't close the gap. People like her are too broken to be able to turn it all around. She's from a broken family, and doesn't get it. She never will. She won't even want to know. You could sit there all day explaining it to her, but it will fall ... (read in full...)
Wife says she's in love with both of us!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 33 year old who has been with the same woman for 14 years and been married for 7 of those years. I love this woman with everything I have. We have four children together and are very happy together. My question is, rec...
A. 18 November 2010: I admire your loyalty. But I'll remind you of the commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultary", which is what she has done. I'll also remind you of the marriage vows she took, "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health". What I'm saying here ... (read in full...)
My husband said he'd run me over!
Q. This is not the first time we have fought. Yesturday on the way to drop our 6 year old daughter at school my husband told me if I got out of the car he would run my bitch self over. He didn't mean it literally but it hurt that he said it. He was ...
A. 18 November 2010: Yep, I'm with the others. Get the hell out of there.... (read in full...)
Are these signs of cheating?
Q. Hi everyone, I am suspecting that my bf is cheating on me. There are many reasons why I feel this way. - I came home to him today showering, which he would never do this late in the day - he wanted to change the sheets because he claimed tha...
A. 18 November 2010: These could be signs. But then again they might not. I think that something may be happening. But you need to do more digging to find out what it is. ... (read in full...)
What should I do to build my confidence?
Q. When I was young (16 and upwards) people started teasing me for being 'thick', family members as well. They would roll their eyes and look at each other if I said anything or didnt understand something maybe. I even got a reputation for being ...
A. 18 November 2010: First thing, frame your degree and put it on the wall. Then maybe make an appointment to see a counsellor to talk about how you feel. This kind of feeling doesn't go away without a lot of work, usually with someone else there who can help. As for ... (read in full...)
I've just started a new relationship and found out I have herpes! How do I tell her she needs to get tested?
Q. I recently found out I had herpes. God knows how long I've had it. I've started in a commited relationship and we've had unprotected sex. How can I tell her to get tested? I feel horrible....
A. 18 November 2010: I'm afraid there's only one way to tell her, and that's to literally tell her. You need to sit her down and just be honest and tell her she needs to get tested. Then worry about what happens after that. ... (read in full...)
Is this cute and quirky or just plain weird?
Q. Hi everyone. So this a kind of a weird questions and its a bit embarassing, but i'd just like some guys opionions. I have a little mole on the side of my vagina - like on the skin next to it. Will guys find this quirky and cute or is it just plain ...
A. 18 November 2010: This is exactly the sort of thing most guys won't notice. Seriously, don't worry at all. It takes a real moron of a man to take something like that into account. It's a misconception that men are only ever really interested in looks and small so ... (read in full...)
Can he take me to court or stop me from leaving the country? Or is he just pissed?
Q. okay my ex and are not talking and yesterday i sent him a text saying 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were ...
A. 18 November 2010: He may be able to, yes. You'd need to talk to a solicitor about it. Only a solicitor could give you the proper advice on something like this.... (read in full...)
Can it lead to miscarriage?
Q. if you over excersice or if you take a laxative pill can your about 8 weeks pregnant. can you have a miscarridge or lose the baby????...
A. 18 November 2010: I would suggest that you speak to a doctor. Only a doctor can realistically tell you what's right and wrong for your body as much as possible. ... (read in full...)
I have one flirty boyfriend!
Q. My boyfriend tends to flirt with other girls and this really bothers me. I've talked to him about it and he still flirts.And it is always the same girl he flirts with. I'm almost convinced he's cheating...he's cheated on me before. What should I do? ...
A. 18 November 2010: To be honest, if he's cheated and still hasn't stopped flirting, he's not worthy of your time. Don't be a doormat. Be an independent girl and dump him with a smile. ... (read in full...)
Hand job pointers?
Q. Hey, iv just got a boyfriend who is really experienced and wants me to give him a hand job. Iv never given one before and was wondering if anyone has any tips please?!...
A. 18 November 2010: My advice is to ask him to tell you want he wants you to do. Let him tell you. ... (read in full...)
The most he says to me now is "What page are we on?", what gives?
Q. The guy that sits next to me in one of my classes, we'll call him 'Joe', used to talk to me alot. But now he doesnt? I mean... We flirted and stuff, but now... He doesn't even talk to me at all anymore. and if he does, its only to ask things like ...
A. 18 November 2010: It could be that he thought you weren't interested, or that he moved on from you. I had a problem like this one in school years ago. I fancied a girl, but just didn't know she fancied men. He may have liked you, but he may not have known that you ... (read in full...)
Crabby girlfriend or this new girl?
Q. ok so for the past 3 months my gf has been a total bitch to me every time i go to kiss her or hug her she shouts at me and storms off. when i ask her she just does the same thing. now theres this other girl who aparently is nuts about me ,but i ...
A. 18 November 2010: In a relationship, you have to be able to accept the good with the bad. You can't have good all the time. However, there is a point at which you have to stop because it gets that bad.
You're nearly at that point.
I think the first thing you need... (read in full...)
I don't want to be waiting on someone who doesn't love me
Q. im dating this guy for almost 2 yrs. he had a gf be that left him without breaking up. he said he is not ready for a relationship right now bc he' has been hurt be4. should i keep hang on to this guy? or should i move on? he just want to date and ...
A. 18 November 2010: To be honest, after 2 years there should be so much more between you and this guy. And there's just not. It sounds like he's not as interested in you as he should be, and it sounds like he's not over this ex. You haven't even seen him in a month.
I... (read in full...)
We shared Facebook passwords, but he just changed his!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and our relationship is very good. A long time ago we shared each others facebook passwords but neither of us goes on the others account (well he says he doesn't). The other week a friend of mine w...
A. 18 November 2010: And this is why people shouldn't share passwords. There is a common misconception that you're required to share everything in a relationship, down to the last detail. In my opinion, not so. You are allowed a degree of privacy to talk to friends ... (read in full...)
I feel like he doesn't want me anymore, but he doesn't admit it!
Q. I have a friend that i have been seein off and on for about 3 years now.. He is from my past too.. I messed with him 8 years ago too. We had a bad year, because a ex girlfriend came back in his life a year ago. He tells me she is just a friend, n ...
A. 18 November 2010: I think you need to end it with him, permanently, to be honest. Everything here is just on/off all the time, and has been for 3 years. And all those years ago, it sounds like you were a bit on/off too. It's not just about sex, it's about everything. ... (read in full...)
She's the one who cheated, now she has the audacity to ignore me?
Q. Hi, My girlfriend and I have split up. We were very close. When I was away in France recently she had an affair with an old friend. When she told me, she was so sorry, and I thought we might have had a chance, but a few days later, she rang ...
A. 18 November 2010: I'm afraid when it comes down to it, the reason she can move on so quickly is that she was always into this friend more than you. Which is pretty dreadful. I think she's like him for a long time, and took the chance to do what she did knowing it ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my cheating husband or stay for the sake of the kids?
Q. I often caught my husband cheating. We are married for 8 years and has 2 children. 5 and 2 respectively. In 8 years of our marriage, he always cheats. But I always forgive him as I don't want to have a broken family. I am trying to save our ...
A. 18 November 2010: Leave your cheating husband. Imagine if your children find out that he's been cheating on you, and that you stayed around. They'd feel guilty, and rejected. Leave him. ... (read in full...)
Do I have enough here to say that she likes me back or am I just getting my hopes up?
Q. There's a girl I know, let's call her Miranda. She's the roommate of two friends of mine, and we sometimes go over just to hang out with them. I've known this girl about a month or so. Two weeks ago myself, three other girls and her had a night ...
A. 18 November 2010: 1 - Quit thinking you're not good enough. If you think you're not good enough, she'll walk on by and you'll never know. Yes you are good enough.
2 - Maybe she does like you, maybe she doesn't. You won't know unless you take a deep breath and talk... (read in full...)
She gets mad at me when I tell the truth so I have to lie just for us to stay together!
Q. i really need help! recently me and my gf had a fight and she said i cheated on her when i never did. she believes all the lies she says to herself i had a female friend whom i'd talk to quite often but feelings were only mutual. my gf told me if i ...
A. 17 November 2010: Dump her. She's controlling, immature and insecure to the point where you can't be with her. She's making you take away your friends, she's listening to lies and not the truth, she's emotionally blackmailing you, she's checking your phone. Seriously ... (read in full...)
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