| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How long can a FWB situation last?
Q. I have been in a fwb situation for more than two years on and off. i was wondering how long can this situation last? ...
A. 21 January 2011: It will last as long as you both allow it to last. When one of you decides you've had enough, then it will stop. ... (read in full...)
Since we slept together I haven't heard anything from him
Q. Okay so since we slept together last friday i hadn't heard anything from him. Saw him out last night and we spoke for a little bit/texted..with his housemates making obvious digs at me for doing 'wrong'. I contacted him today asking if we should m...
A. 21 January 2011: I agree with the others. He either regrets it, or has had what he was looking for. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex wife, who who has joint custody of my 13 year old son, moving to another state.
Q. I'm worried about my ex wife, who has joint custody of my 13 y.o. son, moving to another state. She has started to date, and admitted one guy she is somewhat serious with was out of state. I hate the thought of my visits with my son changing. I ...
A. 21 January 2011: I am not sure, as I don't know how American law works - but there may be a law that you can use that means she has to stay in the state, as you suggest.
I would strongly suggest that you speak about this with a lawyer. Don't even risk wasting time... (read in full...)
I lost my girlfriend and my baby boy because of World of Warcraft!
Q. hi could someone help me, my life is a mess because of WOW - i lost my gf and my baby boy.. i never use to be like this i changed a lot .. all this started 3 years ago my life was fine i used to go out do everything work a lot like 13 hours a day ...
A. 20 January 2011: If you're serious then do two things.
1 - Get serious, professional help for your addiction.
2 - Un-install WOW permanently and never go on it again.
Then you can take it from there. But you need to quit that game and get away from it. ... (read in full...)
I want something more! How do I change our situation?
Q. i ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years.i am 29 and he is 32. in july he broke up with me because latelly we had problems. basically as time passed i wanted a more serious commitment from him,but he got pressured,and he started going out all th...
A. 19 January 2011: My advice still stands, really.
I am a man, and I have a girlfriend. I know that there is no way I'd dump her, so long as I love her.
When a man ends it, it's usually for keeps. The fact that he suggested you might get back together is meaningl... (read in full...)
If I do all he wants even if I'm not in the mood will this make things any better?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a load of issues and i dont know what to do anymore. im nervous around him as i dont totally feel 100% safe anymore which sounds horrid i know. He wrestled my phone off me, has chucked me and my stuff ...
A. 19 January 2011: Tell your friends and family that you're ending it. That way you have as much support as possible, and people who you can rely on to come get you out. Then pack your bags, tell him it's over and walk.
That's all you have to do, and whilst it'l... (read in full...)
Is this an acceptable way to dump someone?
Q. Good evening everyone, I dated my ex for a little over a year. He always had issues with communicating with me, and I too have my own issues that contributed to the fall of our relationship. He told me that he didn't know if he wanted to be wit...
A. 19 January 2011: No. He took the coward's way out. The only real way to end it is face to face, or at the very least via a phone call. I don't like people who dump using text, and the one's who just cut contact are even worse.
You can always see someone for what... (read in full...)
Recently engaged,but fighting more then ever. Is this all a mistake?!
Q. My bf and I have been together for 3 years. He just got a house for us and then recently proposed to me. Of course I said yes, because I love him so much and can't imagine life without him...the only thing is we fight a lot. After the proposal I ...
A. 19 January 2011: The problem with love is that it can be very misleading. It can play tricks. It can make make you think things can get better, when they can't. It can make people seem better, when they're not. It can be the best thing on earth, or the biggest con. ... (read in full...)
Have you ever had to make up your mind? Did you ever have to finally decide?
Q. Here is my problem, Agony Aunts: I am in a relationship where I am between a rock and a hard place. There are things I like about the girl (her looks, her sweetness, her intelligence, the thrill I get when I see her) and things that I can't stand (s...
A. 18 January 2011: I have a rule - No manipulative, untrustworthy people no matter what!
You should use that rule. Because she's not really sweet - she's just manipulating you.
... (read in full...)
If I do all he wants even if I'm not in the mood will this make things any better?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a load of issues and i dont know what to do anymore. im nervous around him as i dont totally feel 100% safe anymore which sounds horrid i know. He wrestled my phone off me, has chucked me and my stuff ...
A. 18 January 2011: I read your reply:
Everything this man does that's nice is an act to hid the anger that's just waiting to explode underneath. You must get away from him.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treated me badly, I cheated, and now he wants to work things out!
Q. I am a 27 yr olf female i have living with my boyfriend for 1 yr 1/2 i have a 2 yr old little girl from a previous relationship I was madly in love with my boyfriend and he started treating me really bad he would come home late igore me we stopped ...
A. 18 January 2011: You're letting men run your life for you, and you're not living at all for yourself or your little girl. All that's happening is that you're moving from one guy to another, like some object. You've gone from your daughter's father, to this ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he'll see me differently now that he knows about my past
Q. Im 17, and ive had sex with 6 different people. i recently met a guy who, for the firt time, respects girls who respect thereself / dont throw away their dignity. i do respect myself, and was young when these experiences took place - but i wont get ...
A. 18 January 2011: If he does think differently, then he's not really the guy you're looking for. The right guy will accept your past no matter what. If this guy can't accept it, then he's not the one.
... (read in full...)
If I do all he wants even if I'm not in the mood will this make things any better?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a load of issues and i dont know what to do anymore. im nervous around him as i dont totally feel 100% safe anymore which sounds horrid i know. He wrestled my phone off me, has chucked me and my stuff ...
A. 17 January 2011: You get down on your knees and beg, and he would still treat you like dirt.
You need to understand that the problem here is not you. It had nothing to do with you. You talking to men is not a problem. You leading your own life is not a prob... (read in full...)
Everyone is blaming me for her failed relationship, but her boyfriend had a part to play too!
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! A few months ago I posted a question saying I couldn't bear to leave a guy who was attached. Well, I finally did and I was happy with life until 2 days ago. Now, his girlfriend and her umbrage of popular friends are mad at me ...
A. 17 January 2011: The only advice here I can offer is that you need to learn from this.
The MISTRESS always gets the blame - period. I've never yet heard of a cheating man getting more of the blame than the mistress.
Whether you like it or not, you chose to see a... (read in full...)
Broken family, broken spirit
Q. I'm nearly 16, am British but live in an Arabian country. Looking back, I remember my childhood as happy and stable, but behind the scenes my dad would cheat repeatedly. The final straw came for my mum when he slept with our in-house cleaner who was ...
A. 17 January 2011: Which country are you in?... (read in full...)
Am I an awful person for not wanting him to go on a boys holiday?
Q. My bf broke my heart a year ago by lying and meeting up with his ex/saving half-naked photos of her on his computer. We made up and he's been good since then.My trust is SLOWLY starting to build up, but by no means is it there yet. He suddenly ...
A. 17 January 2011: No, of course you're not an awful person. You've been cheated on, and having been cheated on, that means you get to pull rank if you want to. You weren't the one who cheated here, you're the one who was good enough to give him a second chance.
Y... (read in full...)
I don't think this situation with my "friend" is heading anywhere. Should I just call it quits??
Q. Hello! I've got a problem with a 'friend' of mine We met each other at university (we're both studying anglistics) and get along with each other...or at least I think so. To be honest I fancy him pretty much but I suspect that he's just not that ...
A. 17 January 2011: How about you go for broke and tell him how you feel first? Sometimes when guys like women, they get so shy they can't speak to them! We're not like guys from the romance films!
You don't know, and will never know how he feels unless you talk to h... (read in full...)
I want something more! How do I change our situation?
Q. i ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years.i am 29 and he is 32. in july he broke up with me because latelly we had problems. basically as time passed i wanted a more serious commitment from him,but he got pressured,and he started going out all th...
A. 16 January 2011: Yes, but with the greatest of respect, so far all your point of view has gotten you is 6 months of wasted time.
He sees you as a friend. But you need to accept that as for commitment, it's not there. At all. You can try to rationalize his beha... (read in full...)
My horoscope said I will meet my love tonight, do you think its true?
Q. Okay so for a while me and this guy have been a "thing" that no one knew of. HE kissed me once and my heart was racing! So, after a while he asked my friend to a dance... I wasn't allowed to go, so i thought it was just as friends. But it wasn't. He ...
A. 16 January 2011: Nope. If it was right, then he'd have been single and would have taken it further.
Be careful how much trust you put in horoscopes. Whilst I appreciate there are people who believe in them, I'm more inclined to say that for the most part, they... (read in full...)
How do men feel about having sex on a woman's period?
Q. How do men feel about having sex while she's on her period? I know many may like to claim they don't care or say things like, "put a towel down and go to town," but sometimes I can help but wonder if it the bleeding doesn't gross them out. ...
A. 16 January 2011: To be honest, not good. I'd feel weird about it. I think other man would too.
As for telling him, my girlfriend said she was on hers once, an I still saw her. No, we didn't have sex, but we had a good time in other ways. ... (read in full...)
I want something more! How do I change our situation?
Q. i ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years.i am 29 and he is 32. in july he broke up with me because latelly we had problems. basically as time passed i wanted a more serious commitment from him,but he got pressured,and he started going out all th...
A. 16 January 2011: This is a very important lesson for you, and all women:
A man will not change for you. He will only change for himself.
Your relationship has proved this, and it's still proving it because you're not moving on. You were there waiting for more, wh... (read in full...)
I really like but she keeps getting confused about what she wants!
Q. hey guys.. i have a problem.. finally i have met someone after being in love with my ex for years, but the problem is ive only known this girl a month but we have strong feelings for eachother, but she met me really soon after she split up with her ...
A. 16 January 2011: Just walk away my friend. This will lead to you getting hurt. Truth is, her head is still with her ex and you being around isn't making her move on. Even if she did go out with you, she would eventually dump you either for her ex, or for someone ... (read in full...)
Help! Is he playing games - How would you handle this with your boyfriend????
Q. Hi... This past Friday my BF was suppose to come over for dinner. When I texted him suggestions on what to make for dinner, he texted back saying: "I might not be able to come - My daughter has a baseball game and I thought it was canceled because ...
A. 16 January 2011: And yes, as the other suggest, call him and be relaxed about it.... (read in full...)
Help! Is he playing games - How would you handle this with your boyfriend????
Q. Hi... This past Friday my BF was suppose to come over for dinner. When I texted him suggestions on what to make for dinner, he texted back saying: "I might not be able to come - My daughter has a baseball game and I thought it was canceled because ...
A. 16 January 2011: I'm afraid I think you've blown this well out of proportion.
He has a daughter, and when he said he may have to watch her game, the first thing you thought was "he's playing games" - Why?
The second thing you did was lie to him, then play a game y... (read in full...)
Husband confused about female anatomy and thinks I'm cheating!
Q. ok ladies i really want to know is it true that when you have sex and get really aroused your vagina hole gets bigger. im havin problems with this b/c my husband thinks im cheating and im not and we havent had sex in about a week in a half were use ...
A. 16 January 2011: Looks, take it from a man, don't even bother trying to explain it. Just ask him whether he wants the marriage to continue, and whether he will trust you or not.
If a man is closed mined enough to believe that you're cheating because of your stat... (read in full...)
I want to leave but partner says he will make my life hell if I do. Help!
Q. Hi, I have been with my partner for 5 years and have 2 children by him and 2 from a previous relationship,he doesn't get on with my son at all from my previous relationship,my son spends a lot of time with his grandad but when his home its nothin ...
A. 16 January 2011: He won't do anything. He's just saying that to scare you. Tell as many people that are your friends that you're leaving, get some support and then leave. If he tries anything, get a court order. Just get away from him.... (read in full...)
Am I a whore for wanting casual sex, sometimes with guys from the same circle of friends?
Q. I'm 24, single, and I have had 10 sexual partners, my sister is younger than me and is in a relationship, and she constantly dissaproves of my "love" life. She thinks I'm a whore. I've had my one night stands, also my serious relationships, ...
A. 16 January 2011: Whore = Prostitute.
Prostitute = Woman or man who accepts payment in return for sexual favours.
So you're not a whore at all. You're a young woman who's having fun, and that's all that matters. That's all that matters, and as long as you're s... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship, why doesn't anybody else my age want the same?
Q. I'm 23 and quite mature for my age. I want a serious relationship, but all I find is people my age wanting flings. Or they just play you like my ex did and then dump you by text. Why is this? The problem with guys my age is that they only want sex ...
A. 16 January 2011: Then again, look carefully at the type and see who you're attracted to. Because you're consistently fining players, and we're just not all players. ... (read in full...)
She wants me to get my penis pierced!
Q. Hey everybody! I've been in relationship with this girl for 2 years now... She wants to spice things up so she got a tattoo and she asked me to get my dick pierced!! Is this too much? Is it gonna hurt? Should I do it? So many questions...
A. 16 January 2011: This sounds like something that'll go wrong. Firstly, you're letting her make the decision. Secondly, it's your penis that'll become infected and ooze puss and God knows what else if it goes wrong.
Yes it will hurt - especially if you get it caug... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend text disgustingly hurtful stuff about me to his friend?
Q. Why did my boyfriend say that? what am I gunna do?:(? my ex boyfriend has been calling me lately and my boyfriend asked and obviously i couldn't lie so told him the truth. i went through his phone( i know i shouldn't have) in the text he told his...
A. 16 January 2011: Well I think it's pretty clear that your "really sweet, would do anything...he's the best guy ever" boyfriend is, in fact, totally shite.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes we all need to vent about our partners. But he's not venting. He's written out ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want another child but I really do!
Q. So heres the deal. My wife and I got pregnant on our honeymoon. Wasn't planned but it happened. We just had our little girl and she is one month old. She is beautiful. My wife was shocked at first when she found out she was pregnant, but came around ...
A. 16 January 2011: Please, please listen to your wife. She is desperately telling you that she doesn't want another child at this time, and maybe not in the future. And she has very good reason.
I'm a man, like you, so together we know precisely bugger all about preg... (read in full...)
Was he sick or I just didn't turn him on?
Q. I just have a small thing thats bothering me but i was finally having a sexy time with this guy who ive liked for a long time and although i know it is just a hook up i was really happy. The thing is the first time we had sex he went soft and i ...
A. 16 January 2011: First time around he was drunk, second time he had a hangover. It has nothing to do with you at all. Drinking doesn't do much for the male libido, so it's better that you make sure he's sober next time. He stayed and cuddled, and didn't just walk ... (read in full...)
Are there any ways to make my feelings grow stronger for my boyfriend?
Q. I feel like i'm taking my boyfriend for granted and I wish I wanted to be with him as bad as does. I really love him and I think we could have a future together. But he says he wouldn't be able to live without me and that i'm the only one he'll ever ...
A. 16 January 2011: You can't 'force' love. Chances are you do love him more than you realize. But love is something that takes time to develop, and men are more prone to falling quicker than women. Your boyfriend has done just that. He's fallen quickly and fallen ... (read in full...)
We're Living Together but She Won't Marry Me. Why?
Q. I just wonder what is really going on here. My girfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half now. We are both in our mid - late 40's. I have been divorced around 7 years and she has been separated (not yet divorced) for almost 3 ...
A. 16 January 2011: The fact that she hasn't divorced her husband in 3 years is enough for me to agree with the post below by Advice Man.
I think you're convenient to her, and nothing more. Best to move on and find a woman who loves you. ... (read in full...)
He's constantly hunting down women for sex
Q. I am seeing this 54 year old man. Our relationship is a no frills relationship. We occassionally get together to have sex. (Both divorced) Lately he's been bringing up the subject of having threesomes and group sex. And then he sent me this ...
A. 16 January 2011: I think this is a man trying to re-capture his youth, and I certainly think that all he wants is sex. What's most bizarre here is that he chose a prostitute with a penis, so maybe there's something else going on in his mind.
I'm not sure you shou... (read in full...)
Will I get a boyfriend when I have braces?
Q. So i got braces last month, and im going to high school pretty soon. will the guys go for all the girls without braces?? i dont think im ugly, i just hope ill get a boyfriend even with braces. waddya think?...
A. 16 January 2011: If you ever find a guy who's judging you because of your braces, then don't have a thing to do with him. Seriously, I don't think any guy will care about the braces at all. And if he does, then he's small minded.
Don't worry at all.... (read in full...)
My second wife doesn't like my children from my 1st marriage!
Q. I have 4 children from my first marriage who now live in the UK with their mother, and I am in another relationship with a new wife and we have one child together. Ny new wife does not like the children from my first marriage, is resentful to them ...
A. 16 January 2011: Sod your second wife! And tell her that too.
The needs of your children, all of them, are more important that she will ever be, so DO NOT allow her to treat your kids like crap.
It's simple - your wife has to change her attitude, or you need to ... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship, why doesn't anybody else my age want the same?
Q. I'm 23 and quite mature for my age. I want a serious relationship, but all I find is people my age wanting flings. Or they just play you like my ex did and then dump you by text. Why is this? The problem with guys my age is that they only want sex ...
A. 16 January 2011: I would agree with all the other posts in most respects.
There are guys your age who want decent relationships, and I know because I am one and I have a girlfriend. I also know at least 5 guys who also want relationships.
The problem is that wom... (read in full...)
Broken up, how long should I wait before contacting him?
Q. My romantic interest lives on the other side of the world and he found someone else. I needed some time to get past the hurt of it, I just want to know what sort of time period shoulld I wait until I contact him to see how he is. i just want to be ...
A. 16 January 2011: Please don't contact him. You'll end up torturing yourself if he doesn't contact you, or torturing yourself because he's having a great time and you're not.
Truly let him go. The worst thing in life it to surround yourself with people who don't care... (read in full...)
Why did she sleep around?
Q. Why did my good friend sleep around? I have a friend who just broke up with her high school bf of 2.5years. He dumped her in her first week at college. He was an average looking guy at best she is beautiful. My question is why has she suddenly...
A. 16 January 2011: Well, either she wanted to have sex and that was it, or she was hurt because of her boyfriend and just had to go make a point. Given that she regrets it, I suspect that it was a spur of the moment thing that she did because she'd been dumped.
I... (read in full...)
My life is with my husband, my heart is with his brother
Q. I dated this guy for 5 years and he was my first love, my first everything. He went into the service and we parted ways. i ended up marrying his brother and had three children. Now i am in the middle of a divorce, not an ugly one. My husband wants ...
A. 16 January 2011: This is a huge mess.
I'm going to make my case on behalf of your kids, rather then the two men.
Forget the two men. Your heat might be with your first love, but your kids are with his brother, and that will screw them up royal if they go from one... (read in full...)
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