A
female
age
30-35,
*hat Fragile Capricorn
writes:This is new to me, so forgive me. I'm usually the one giving the advice, not asking for it. But for once, I'm stuck. I've known this guy for two years, and we've always been great friends and just about 6 months ago we started talking every single day all day long. Then we admitted our feeling for one another. We only went out for a month, because his mother is very protective of him, and I am younger than him, and I ran his phone bill up to $700. He said that he really didn't want to do it, and I was depressed for 3 months after that. Of course we would/are still talk as friends, and he admits that he still likes me a lot. I also think I may be in love with him...The problem is, he says he also has feeling for his ex, who happens to be a good friend of mine. I've confronted her about it, since she would "mess" around with him and mess with his head (she's a very flirty person.) She said that she has no feelings like that for him, and he can't get the message. He even said that "it seems like I care more about him than she does." Which honestly, I do.He says he just wants closure, but I can't help but get the feeling that he still loves her. I'm not sure if it's my insecurity or low self esteem or if what I'm feeling is true.What should I do?Also, my ex is talking to me again. We went out for 9 months and then he went to Colombia and cheated on me. He says he's changed, and that he loves me and that I'm the one and that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him and he's sorry, etc..and I've been talking to him for a couple weeks, and it seems like he's trying, but I'm still in love with the other guy.Please help me, it will be deeply appreciated.Thank you so much. 3
View related questions:
cheated on me, depressed, flirt, his ex, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, identifiable  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 ok the way you describe it, it seems he does infact have strong feelings for your mate and maybe the fact that she in so unavalible to him makes him want her more because you seem besotted with this guy you so avalible he might be leading you on and the fact is its a cycle you want hm cant have him,, he wants your mate and cant etc.
And your ex cheated on you before can again, far be it for me to be so sinical as i have changed truly in my teens years, but it seems you take relationships to serious at such an age that you should take a step back and think... you dont need a cheater in your life he did it once and destroyed your trust. And it wont work if your infactuated witht his other guy... so maybe not what you want to hear but leave and forget both start new of course you can your young anyone and everyone can .good luck hun x
A
male
reader, mulattoman +, writes (24 June 2009):
 You're 16 or 17 years old. I KNOW for a fact you're not in love. You only know how to spell the word and use it in a sentence, but not how to apply the real meaning in your life. So throw that sutpidity out of the window little girl. Or the next thing that happens is you'll sleep around with every guy you quote "LOVE" and you end up a pregnant whore.
This guy in Columbia cheated on you because you probably didn't give him what he was looking for. Now that he's alone he's falling back on you. Congrats. You're a tool.
...............................
A
female
reader, advicegem +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I can answer the second part of your question quickly, so I'll do that first. This guy cheated on you, and now that it isn't working out, he's coming crawling back to you. If you take him back, he will do it again because he knows he will have you as a fall back. This doesn't mean there is no future for you... if he really has changed he will prove it to you.. but he has to earn you back by showing you his new self whether you are in a relationship or not.
Okay, so your "current guy". I actually don't see this working out... if he has feelings for both of you, regardless of which of you has the bigger feelings in return, it will only end in tears. If she is a good friend of yours, teh chances are that all three of you will frequently be together, and there may be times when they are together alone as a result of you all being good friends. If his feelings for her remain, she will always be a temptation, or you will always doubt his feelings for you.
I think you need to take a break from him in a relationship sense. Stay friends and see if having distance from both you and your friend in that sense clarifies his feelings for you. Chances are if he is just friends with both of you, he will more likely confront his feelings and decide if he wants to be with you and forget about your friend.
Good luck.
...............................
|
